I don't want to make a big deal of this- I'm not. I'm with how things are- perfectly fine. I want you to get Sondra, I do, I want you to be happy, but thinking selfishly- I realize that what we do when we're at Elena's might end. I mean, it's nothing bad, but I know you'd feel weird holding my hand and stuff when you have your dream girl finally. Man, would you even be there anymore if you got Sondra? No, you'd probably be hanging out with her on weekends, wouldn't you? Then I'd truly be alone. God, how much would that suck? I would never tell you, but my life would reach it's ultimate peak of suckiness if you ever got her. You really are my only happiness these days, my only hope..for anything. Without you...I'd be...so not here.
I live for the next time I get to just lay there with you.
The thing is, it's not like I feel anything past close friend for you. Going out would be weird right now. Yet..when I think abotu the future, like both of us being older and stuff, I think we could really work out. I mean, I don't think the thought of 'us' is completely out of the question. As logn as we keep in touch.
God it's going to so weird going away from you. Somehow, I don't think I'll find much happiness next year...

Current Mood: anxious