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Lothíriel, Queen of Rohan | Lord of the Rings (queenofrohan) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-04-15 02:03:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe)

Love is a cruel myth created to make women obey.

Men do not love us. They may be fond of us, but they think only of themselves, and when they tire of us...then all the words they have told us mean nothing. And if we are foolish enough to believe them, and love them in return...

Then we are heartbroken.

And we must simply live with this. It is as my father says. It is my burden to bear, and I must do my duty.

So it is. So it always will be.

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	loves_abeast 2013-04-15 01:58 pm UTC (link)
	That's not true. Love may be rare but it's most certainly not a myth. And as for it making women obey men--that's hardly what I've seen in most cases. Love doesn't make people obedient. If anything it makes them fight, makes them strong, to protect it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	queenofrohan 2013-04-15 06:16 pm UTC (link)
	I thought I knew love, but it was a lie. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loves_abeast 2013-04-15 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	No, the way you spoke--I know love, and that seemed as true as anything I've known. Just because something or someone stands in the way, someone doubts or falters, it doesn't mean it's not true. It only means you have to fight harder. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	queenofrohan 2013-04-15 06:24 pm UTC (link)
	I don't want to fight. I will just obey, and do my duty. That is what I am supposed to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loves_abeast
2013-04-15 06:33 pm UTC (link)

Fighting for love doesn't mean being disobedient or dishonorable and anyone who tells you otherwise has a decidedly different meaning of honor than I know. I know of no greater duty than to protect the things that are most precious to us, and love is. It can be used to control, of course it can. But it also makes us strong.

I know what it is like to be expected to...obey, do as you're told. And there is honor in that. But I think to give up on what you want, because of what others tell you and only that, would be dishonoring yourself. You deserve love and happiness. You don't even have to fight, not...in the manner most people see as fighting. But you shouldn't just resign yourself to being miserable if there's even a chance still you could be happy.

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	queenofrohan 2013-04-15 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	I can't fight her. She's strong, and beautiful, and smarter and stronger than me. And she's more like him than I am. And he loved her. How can I fight against that? I'm nothing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loves_abeast
2013-04-15 06:48 pm UTC (link)

You are not. From the little I've spoken with you, I know you are kind and good and just. Those things are not weaker than physical strength, only different. And you do not have to fight her, or him. You only have to remember what made you feel for him and what you saw in him. Remind him and yourself what made your love so strong, even if you're different. Two people being similar does not mean their hearts answer to each other, and just because they did once does not mean they will forever. It's all a great deal more complicated than having things in common.

You may not have been his first love. But that does not make your love less or less true. His love for her was only something he went through that made him the man you love now.

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	queenofrohan 2013-04-15 06:53 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so scared. My father sold me to him for horses. I did not even know him when we wed; we'd only spoken once. But I was happy at first. I thought he loved me. I thought he loved me for me. But my father...my father says he didn't. That love is unimportant. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loves_abeast
2013-04-15 07:02 pm UTC (link)

It's all right to be afraid. That doesn't make you weak.

You told me he treated you well. That he wished you to be who you were. A man who didn't love you wouldn't do that.

Your father sounds like someone who doesn't understand love, how strong it can make someone. How could he know the inside your husband's heart? You were the one who spent all that time alone with him. You got to know him. You should trust yourself to believe what your own heart and mind told you, not the judgements of someone else.

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	queenofrohan 2013-04-15 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	He did treat me well! He was always so gentle with me, and so kind. And we would talk! We talked so much. And he never made me do anything I didn't want to do. Kind, and gentle, and handsome. It was more than I ever deserved. I should have known it could not possibly be true. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loves_abeast
2013-04-15 07:16 pm UTC (link)

Why would he have done all that if it weren't true? That's not something men generally bother with, if they only want other things. They might give you trinkets, but they don't bother to get to know you heart, as he did.

Of course I don't know everything, but from the way you speak, he did these things because he saw you did deserve them. Because he cared about you, and loved you. And I'm sure he still does. Just because another woman who held his heart is here doesn't mean you've lost hold of it, or that you never did.

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queenofrohan
2013-04-15 07:20 pm UTC (link)

My heart says he loved me. And I love him, so much. But...

I don't deserve him. I just..I don't. I have nothing to offer him. All I know how to do are silly things. Embroidery. Women's arts. I can't even cook. And I'm terrified of horses. They scare me so much! And I know he wants me to learn how to ride, so that is just another way I disappoint him. I shake every time I get near one of those terrifying beasts.

I feel so...beneath her. She is everything he deserves. Strong, smart, loves horses. Has useful skills.

I am just...a pretty face.

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loves_abeast
2013-04-15 09:19 pm UTC (link)

Those aren't silly things. They have their own purpose, just as much as fighting and cooking and riding do. They're useful in their own place. I can barely cook or clean, all I know is from my books, languages and old stories. People told me those were useless, but if they are we wouldn't teach them. Just because they are things women are taught to do doesn't make them useless.

If you were only pretty, he wouldn't have spoken to you as you say that he did, gotten to know you. Just because you don't fight or ride doesn't mean you're not strong. It's just a different sort of strength. He doesn't seem the sort who would take interest in a woman who was truly weak, not as long as he has you.

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