InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Conky?"

Sarah Sully (sarah_sully) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2019-02-03 23:24:00

Entry tags:

!open, katherine lokadóttir, miguel o'hara, sarah sully, sunila sully

It's been a week, it's hard to believe it's been that long. It still hurts. Hurts like someone came a long and ripped off something vital and left me bleeding.

I can't help but wonder, was it all for nothing? Did we get some of our friends killed for nothing? Did I help break our home and it accomplish nothing? Will this never stop?

I can't dig myself out of this bad place.

I'm sorry if this makes things worse for anybody. I'm just sick of losing my family, I thought fighting Him was going to keep them safe.

I think I've entered stage two.

(Post a new comment)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-04 09:34 am UTC (link)
	I know. I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-04 12:00 pm UTC (link)
	I just.. I know you tried Kat. I'm not saying we shouldn't have. My soul hurts. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-05 06:33 pm UTC (link)
	I know you aren't but it still feels like a failure even though on paper we won. This is what we wanted to prevent and we didn't. I'm asking myself if it isn't him, what else is causing this. This must be a magical effect. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-06 06:25 am UTC (link)
	My guess is that he was evil, yes. He liked to taunt and torture us, yes. But he just wasn't behind this kind of pain. At least we stopped the senseless tortures. The fog. The giant aliens set on killing us, the robots. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-06 07:36 am UTC (link)
	You are a scientist, are you not? Can't you figure out why this keeps happening? Just because the Man's death did not stop it, doesn't mean I'm ready to roll over and surrender. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2019-02-06 08:10 am UTC (link)

There's to many variables. Everybody would have to agree to some form of monitoring, and then we just wait. Wait for one of them to disappear. And I don't know about you, but I can't do that. Because what if it's Miguel? What if it's Harri, or Henry? Or Rhys, or Loki? Could you sit and wait, and watch the data flow in while one of them left your life?

Not to mention the invasion of privacy that sort of monitoring would take.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-06 08:20 am UTC (link)
	I would use whoever left us to prevent the next one from leaving us. What if you had made a discovery upon your Mum vanishing that could have kept Rachel here? If my Dad were to vanish, then I would do anything to protect my Mum. What would you have to do for it that it would invade someone's privacy? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2019-02-06 08:35 am UTC (link)

As painful as feeling her leave was, I still wouldn't do this. This means you aren't part of their lives anymore because you can't be. You would have to monitor data. All the time.

You would have to somehow monitor every single thing about them. Down to every single breath. Heartbeat, change of air pressure against their skin. Down to the moisture of the surface of their eyeballs.

It's too much to ask anyone to allow, and it's too much to witness.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-06 08:49 am UTC (link)
	Why don't you record the data? If you think all of this is necessary, start with me. I'll give my last breath protect my loved ones. Their life means more than my privacy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-06 08:54 am UTC (link)
	Because you'd have to witness it when someone vanished to be able to tell the difference from all the rest. It couldn't be just you. It would have to be everyone. You might never disappear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-06 09:06 am UTC (link)
	Humans have sent unmanned probes into the sky and they were able to draw many conclusions. I don't say I know things better than you I am just trying to understand. But isn't one person better than none? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-06 09:18 am UTC (link)
	They were looking for rocks and water. Signs of life. This is minute changes in the way a hair twitches. It cannot be unmanned. One is useless. This is not possible Kat. Even if it were, I'm not willing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daddyissues_ 2019-02-06 10:05 am UTC (link)
	That's okay. I will find a different way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-06 10:38 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry. I've got to spend whatever time I have left with the people I love, otherwise, no matter what happens in the end, it's not worth it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	maternalforce 2019-02-04 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	It wasn't for nothing. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but we did make a better future. There are still many people that care about you still here. Let us help you out of the dark place. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-05 06:49 am UTC (link)
	A better future without the Sullys in it. Besides you and Uncle Jake, and Greg and Alex. If things keep going the way they're going. I know. But I don't think anyone can help with this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maternalforce 2019-02-05 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	Alex is gone. There is you. And your children. And Sookie. And Tommy. And the younger me and Jake and the younger Greg and Alex. And whatever children come back in time next. Who knows? It could be a grown version of one of your children. Or grandchildren. There's always a way back from the dark places. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-06 06:21 am UTC (link)
	I know. I meant little Alex and Greg. It seems like this place is just... Offing us one at a time. I'm sure there is this one too, but it just doesn't feel like it just now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maternalforce 2019-02-06 07:14 pm UTC (link)
	Or sending us somewhere else. It doesn't feel as if they've become one with the force. We'll be here when you're ready. In the meantime, I can bring you pie and ice cream. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-07 06:52 am UTC (link)
	Where would it send us? This is our home, we don't exist anywhere else. I've been in an onsie and pajama's for a week.. It's not helping. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maternalforce 2019-02-07 04:23 pm UTC (link)
	This only became our home when we were brought here. They may be somewhere else, making a new home. Or in another time. Another reality. Maybe they're in a happy island future. The future that the younger me remembers. You could try something else. Meditation with me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-08 05:35 am UTC (link)
	I meant this as a hypothetical 'here' this place really isn't much different from the island. The only difference is we aren't technically locked in. Quiet time with my thoughts isn't a great idea right now. And it would just give me time to grope down the bond. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	miguel_ohara 2019-02-04 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry, baby. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2019-02-05 06:55 am UTC (link)
	Me too. I wish I could advance time so I didn't feel this way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sarah miguel_ohara 2019-02-05 12:56 pm UTC (link)
	~~Don't say the w-wo~~ ~~Oh. Shock.~~ What do you want to do? Beyond messing with time. Or do you want a distraction? I can give you a project to work out, if you want. (It's not going to be time-travel, that's Tommy's job) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Miguel

sarah_sully
2019-02-06 06:02 am UTC (link)

I have the urge to be very destructive. But I can't work out how to be, without hurting someone, something, or myself.

A distraction might be nice, instead. It'll stop the explody thoughts.

I wouldn't chance time-travel again. I don't want to be displaced from here, with this being a paradox of timelines it's really hard to get back to the right one... I kind of was playing around with time-travel before Tommy was. Back on the island.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Sarah

miguel_ohara
2019-02-06 09:04 pm UTC (link)

Please don't hurt yourself. I'll web you to the ceiling if you even consider that.

Distraction time. I have two sets of samples in the lab. I'll hand them over to you, next time we're both down there. Both donors are human, but that's all I'm telling you. I want you to tell me everything and anything you can find out about the donors.

Shocking hell, I guess he had to get it from somewhere.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Miguel sarah_sully 2019-02-06 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	I promise I won't. Not on purpose. I wouldn't do that to you and the kids. Okay, that seems simple enough. How much of a sample will I have to play around with? Yeah, I guess I might have planted that seed. I love you, Miguel. You're the bit of light that keeps all this from sucking me down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sarah miguel_ohara 2019-02-06 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	Good. Thank you. Standard set of bloods and cheek swabs. I love you too, mi corazón. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Miguel sarah_sully 2019-02-07 07:39 am UTC (link)
	I'm not the suicidal type anyway. So you'll never have to worry about that. And I'm totally getting over my klutzy type. Sort of So I have to be picky about my tests. Got ya. Thank you for sticking with me through these last few crappy months. Being beside me. (Reply to this) (Parent)