InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You poor, doomed child."

Hawke was born the (victimofaname) wrote in chances_net,
@ 2024-07-08 16:15:00

Entry tags:

dc: dick grayson (comics), ~ex: dragon age anders, ~ex: dragon age fenris, ~ex: dragon age hawke, ~ex: marvel carol danvers (mcu)

At this point, you know what why not? This is fine. Everything is fine. At least nothing's bloody green. Or filled with spiders.

...if there's spiders please. No. Let me dream.

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Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-09 04:44 pm UTC (link)

It got solved, either way. And I dealt with the worst of Weisshaupt. I just lost my faith in another organization, so you know on the list they go.

Fun. That's given me a lot of other questions so I'm just going to put that in a box.

Don't be a shit. You're family. We stick together. I'm more angry you didn't talk to me, you know, so you can ask me for anything. If I can do it, I will.

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hawke.

mages
2024-07-09 05:43 pm UTC (link)

How long is that list now? I have to ask, have you ever considered going on the run? It's not all that bad once you get used to the never-ending barrage of people hunting you, the sleeping in the woods, and the incredibly stale bread. That was a joke. In case that wasn't clear. And I don't really recommend it. Besides you're a much better person than I am.

Probably for the best.

And I thought that was just part of my charm. There just... wasn't an easy way to talk about it, Hawke. I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better. I promise.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anders victimofaname 2024-07-09 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	Being on the run is overrated. I've gotten used to comforts like beds. Jury's out on the last though. I know. I had the same argument with 'Bela, of all people, but there isn't anything you can't tell me. Whatever sort of problem, we'll sort it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-09 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Perhaps one day I'll get tired of it. Is it? There wouldn't be much deliberation I'd imagine. And you got through to her? The amount of times I'd argued with her and felt like I'd been just talking to myself is astounding. [.....] I know. It's just difficult to find the right words. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-09 11:24 pm UTC (link)

Maybe one day you won't have to keep running, and I can shove you all in a house and stop getting gray hairs.

Well this was after the whole Qunari mess, so if 'getting through to her' also means 'she fucked off for a while because I called her out on her nonsense' sure I got through to her. Regardless, my point of tell me things, so I can solve problems remains a recurring theme. Even if you can't find the right words.

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	hawke. mages 2024-07-09 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe one day. In the meantime, I'll apologise for all the greys. If she remembered any of your conversation, I'd say that you did. I can't confidently say she ever took any of my advice to heart. It was unsolicited, but nevertheless. Truthfully, it's the same problem I've had since we met, Hawke. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-10 12:02 am UTC (link)

Eh I'll look like a fox in 'em. And you're only like fifty percent of 'em.

We all love 'Bela but Maker does she make choices.

Alright, so what's our next step then? There's no Kirkwall to manage, no weird fake Calling to worry about. We can literally all get together and throw shit at the wall until something sticks. And I know you've probably considered the options, so lay them on me. And we're not going to know they'll work until we try 'em.

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hawke.

mages
2024-07-10 01:01 pm UTC (link)

Not all of us can be so lucky. Only half? I'll take it. I would have thought it was more than that.

Be careful. That's how you get venereal diseases.

I've been doing research since we left Kirkwall, following every lead I could. It's all theory and most of them nearly impossible. And the anger. Sometimes it's all I feel, burning in the centre of my chest and I can't think of anything else. We can't keep living this way. We just can't.

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Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-10 02:04 pm UTC (link)

There would be more, but you know, there's the rest of the family. Merrill's at least a third of it, and the reason it's not a larger number is that I share custody with Varric.

I'll pass.

Who says it's impossible, though? I'd like to remind you I fell into the literal, physical, Fade (an impossibility) and Corypheus was said to be one of the Blight giving Magisters from ye old times (also an impossibility). Have you tried them? Because we won't know they're impossible until we do.

Look, I can't help with the anger. I live with it too. My way of dealing with it is hitting the cause of the problem until it stops being a problem, so in that regard, I'm not helpful.

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	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 01:04 am UTC (link)
	~~Merrill~~ I would have assumed she and I were about equal. Most should. I haven't. I'm [......] honestly afraid. No one has even attempted and of this, and I don't have the power to try on my own. ~~I've been~~ Not without putting those I care about in danger. If the problem wasn't me, I would try your way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anders victimofaname 2024-07-11 01:38 am UTC (link)
	If I didn't have shared custody, sure. Well I get the worry but we can't keep being afraid. Walk me through the concerns. Because we have Beth with us. Which solves some of the power issue. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	Have you ever considered shared custody of me then? It might save you a grey hair and a wrinkle or two down the line. I know. It does, but I can't ask her to risk herself for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anders victimofaname 2024-07-11 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	You act like I'm not sharing custody. I mean, you can. As much as I worry about the little bird, she's come into her own. Don't tell her I said it, though, but she knows her limits. What about looking for a way to potentially limit any damage? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 05:01 pm UTC (link)
	Should I ask what other unfortunate soul has that unwanted task? I'll keep that secret for you, Hawke. And I don't doubt her skills. I just can't have her blood on my hands too. That is something I've been working on. It's why I don't have the power for any of these rituals myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anders victimofaname 2024-07-11 05:25 pm UTC (link)
	I'll let you guess. Makes it fun for me. You do see how you're running into walls here, right? Either you let us help, and trust people know their limits, or you can get stuck in what-if's. And you have to talk us through it. Shouldering it alone, and being unhelpfully vague I can tell what you're doing there, isn't going to help anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	I can already rule out at least four people. It's what I've always done. Sometimes, bruising myself that way is better than the alternative. I know. Hawke, I know. I trust all of you. The problem is that I don't trust myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-11 08:47 pm UTC (link)

Can you though? How sure are you of that?

You know self punishment isn't effective. All you get by saying you're a bad person or how you don't trust yourself is stagnation. Effective change is doing it.

You're still being unhelpful.

Our biggest problem is Justice, right? Wild take, why don't we try talking to him. Aren't his main points he doesn't want out because a)the injustice of the world (which, buddy I get you, I'm right there) b)he may be a little worried about the after? We can't solve the first, alas, and I'm not saying he'll believe us right away, but if we can promise him an after might that not work? I know you guys are more entangled then I'm making it out to be, but isn't it worth a shot?

Leap into the abyss, etc etc.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	Decently certain. You make change sound so easy, Hawke. ~~I'm t~~ If you want to talk to him directly, we can find a way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-11 11:11 pm UTC (link)

You'd be surprised how many people actually care about you.

Look, I get it. My own failings haunt me every day. But I got to keep flying, or I'll crash. We just got to find a metaphysical cliff to throw you off so you'll get moving. Unfortunately for you, you don't get the very cool dragon/lady giving you sage life advice, you just get me.

It's worth a shot, isn't it? And don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hawke. mages 2024-07-11 11:54 pm UTC (link)
	You're right. I would be. I ~~Your f~~ I don't know that I would have taken advice from a woman who was also a dragon, Hawke, which may be a failing on my part honestly. I know you will be. You always make it out, Hawke. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anders victimofaname 2024-07-12 12:05 am UTC (link)
	Spoiler for you, it is all of us, you know. Don't make me reinstate the 'make sure Anders eats' protocol. She was very convincing. And scary. And really cool. One day, I too will know how to turn into a dragon. Or a dog. It is my curse. Anyway, set it up. We got to try something. I'm not letting you spiral. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

hawke.

mages
2024-07-12 12:16 am UTC (link)

I think Sebastian might have something to say about that. You know, I saved a letter he wrote me after everything and it's just as funny now as it was when I first read it. I have to admit, I'm annoyed his handwriting is so nice.

It wasn't a bad protocol. I forget more often than I remember.

A woman who could turn into a dragon would be rather convincing, I'd think. No world is ready for you to learn how to do that, Hawke.

I'll [....] try to talk him into it, but you have to promise me something.

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Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-12 12:22 am UTC (link)

We don't count Sebastian, he's kicked off the team. He'll be lucky I don't stab him on sight next time I see him, the sanctimonious prick.

Re-instating it as we speak then.

The only way we know the Maker's real is because He saw me and decided that it'd be the worst idea to give me the magic in the family. But one day. Oh, one day.

I'm not stabbing you, but sure. Shoot.

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	hawke. mages 2024-07-12 12:25 am UTC (link)
	What was the final straw? I need to know so I don't get kicked out, too. Probably for the best. If he is real, we can say his sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired in general. You might have to, Hawke. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anders

victimofaname
2024-07-12 12:29 am UTC (link)

Are you going to tell me my mother's sin would carry over in the Maker's hall, and then try to take over Kirkwall because you got pissy about things? That and he threatened my family. You don't get to do that and live.

Andraste's sainted tits Anders. Can we just settle on if I have to I'll punch your lights out? Although, I may have an idea if you're concerned about things.

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hawke. -

mages, 2024-07-12 12:36 am UTC

Anders -

victimofaname, 2024-07-12 12:51 am UTC

hawke. -

mages, 2024-07-12 12:53 am UTC

Anders+Fenris -

victimofaname, 2024-07-12 12:58 am UTC

Anders+Fenris+Hawke -

broody, 2024-07-12 01:06 am UTC

Anders+Fenris+Hawke -