I love me a bit of pouty Brian. This was great, and delusional, so very Brian:

"Right." His tone became accusatory. "And every single morning, there I am, your dick up my ass, about to get off, and it's 'BAM. BAM. BAM.'"

"Right." Brian heard Justin's refrigerator door slam. "And this is my fault because…"

"You programmed the phone. It's your dick up my ass. Did you not listen?"

Followed by this: OMG sooooo cute:

"Love you."

"Yeah, well, considering how often I've been putting out lately, you'd better," Brian said before disconnecting the call.