InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Winter is coming."

Bran Wilder {The Phantom} (lemortvivant) wrote in bellumlogs,
@ 2010-06-20 22:59:00

Entry tags:

christine daaé, dr. jekyll, fernand mondego, phantom of the opera, plot: omega, plot: tempus

Who: Bran, Lotte, Brian and Lucas
What: Waking up, planning, and other fun things
Where: An abandoned house in Paris
When: Morning, Day 2
Warnings: TBD

Bran didn't sleep during the night, save for a few times when he dozed off for a couple minutes before Erik saw fit to awaken him. Even if Lotte didn't trust him anymore, he still had to watch over her; he didn't know Brian or Lucas, which meant he had no idea what their tales were and whether or not they were dangerous. Erik, of course, trusted no one and refused to let his attention wander for very long - apparently he didn't think the tension between him and Lotte would have any sort of effect on himself and Christine. You're an idiot, Bran told him fiercely, tempted to burst his happy little bubble and tell him the truth - something along the lines of 'Spoiler alert, Christine is terrified of you and ends up with Raoul while you die in the basement.'

If he did tell him, then with his luck Erik would gain control and go throw himself off the nearest building, so it really wasn't an option. There was nothing he could do but wait until sunrise, and then they could think about finding food and possibly better shelter.

When the first rays of sun filtered through the cracks in the boarded-up windows, Bran uncurled himself from his position on the floor and got to his feet. The street outside seemed quiet, but who knew how long that would last? He glanced back to wait and see who else was awake before starting to make any concrete plans.

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 02:27 am UTC (link)

She paused when he did, hands going into her skirts. The dress' length was beginning to bother her, as the edges of it trailed through the grime below - the least of her concerns, but at least it distracted her from other matters. The fact that the smell of the decaying bodies didn't bother her as much as before was nearly as horrifying as the thought that Bran's tone said that if he wasn't staying here, she wasn't either. There was nothing reassuring about that.

"The building has never done things for this long before," Lotte said, eying him before following. A moment later, she shook her head. "No, the first time was a full day. Back when we first changed." Christine's memories of that were vibrant - terror, the voice, meeting Rick on the stairs - Lotte frowned, sidestepping a body on the ground. The day after she'd heard things again and the voice had definitely talked to her.

She was quiet until they stopped again, trying to stop herself from asking but couldn't. The hurt and anger from before came back too quickly, as she remembered that conversation - how scared she'd been and it had been the first time she'd sung on her own in years... "I heard things then. When did you start?"

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 04:26 am UTC (link)

Bran hadn't been there for the first transformation, and now a part of him wished he hadn't been there for any of the others either. Why the hell had he moved into Bellum anyway? There was really nothing that made it unique, aside from the muttered rumors; had it been some weird magic thing? Had he been forced there by some unseen power? The thought that he hadn't moved in of his own free will made him scowl. This is all because of you, Erik. Couldn't you have picked some other guy to burden with your presence? "We should all just move when this is over," he muttered. "Who knows where it'll send us next time?" If they even made it out of this alive, that is.

You are not dying here, Bran. Erik's voice was sharp, almost demanding, and it made him roll his eyes. The stench of the dead didn't bother him, nor did the corpses themselves - it was too easy to disassociate himself - and at least searching them was a distraction. He took sharp turns down alleys and around corners, trying to avoid the distant shouts. Her question made him sigh inwardly, but he knew he couldn't just ignore it as much as he wanted to. "When I moved in," he said flatly, pulling a bloodstained knife from a corpse's pocket. It was small, but it would do for know. "Before I knew you or anyone else, for that matter. I was checking out the building and I heard you singing. It wasn't meant to... scare you. I've heard all sorts of voice types over the years, some with more talent than others. There was just something about yours that made me listen." Now he knew it was probably because of their tales, but he hadn't known then.

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 05:19 am UTC (link)

Lotte had considered moving once or twice, but each time the thought was shoved aside. She couldn't afford to move and she couldn't leave James - even with the building's insanity, it was the closest thing she had to home. As she'd had the voices before she moved to Bellum, she doubted the Christine thing would change if she moved - no matter what rumors there had been otherwise. "I can't," she said, lips pressed together tightly. She wouldn't elaborate if he asked.

She ran over his words, as Christine pressed for more details. With a slight sigh, Lotte thought over the interaction - A Chorus Line, the thought that things were wrong, South Pacific. Hadn't she talked to "Trevor" on the forums a little afterwards? She couldn't remember exactly and that made it worse. She looked up to ask another question, but was silenced as he took the knife. Her back stiffened, though he had talked about weapons - she didn't feel comfortable with the fact he had one.

She looked away to some of the abandoned buildings, trying to breathe in so that she could calm down. One of the doors to the right seemed intact - more so than the house they had stayed in the night before. She ran over the possibilities of their being something useful in there, before deciding she could think about what he said. Was he only placating her by saying that? Just so she could cooperate for...whatever reason? Her lips pressed together, before she asked, not looking towards him, "You could have knocked on my door."

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 05:37 am UTC (link)

He'd never thought of anywhere as 'home', and Bellum certainly wasn't going to change that if things continued on like this. Despite what he might say, he didn't like the idea of leaving Lotte behind, but now he wondered how much of that protectiveness actually belonged to him and how much of it was because of Erik. He liked her, more so than he liked practically every other person he'd ever encountered, but was that him or his tale? They were too closely entwined to tell. "Well, I can." You cannot separate Christine and I, Erik snapped, but Bran brushed him off. Oh, don't complain. If I move someone else will replace me soon enough.

He knew that the knife made her uncomfortable, but he had no intention of using it unless given reason to. Wiping off the blood as best he could, he kept it hidden up his sleeve so anyone they encountered could be caught off guard. By chance he glanced back and followed her gaze, moving towards the intact door and forcing it open.

Her voice made him pause again, and he tried to think up a proper response. Yes, he could have knocked on her door; but even thinking about it now made him frown. It was hard to explain, but somehow he knew that he wouldn't have been able to - it just didn't seem as easy as she made it sound. "Knocked on your door and said what? You make it sound so easy." this wasn't going well, and he knew anything he said probably wouldn't make much sense to her. "You were making progress," he added, almost defensively. "And I would have stopped once you got your confidence back."

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 05:54 am UTC (link)

She looked to him, brows furrowing at that. Christine thought it would be good if he left - Erik wouldn't be there either and they could be left alone, maybe stop being scared. It seemed too easy though and Lotte shrugged - half at Christine and half at Bran. "Good." She didn't do sarcasm, but her tone was careless - forcefully so. Maybe she was getting better at lying. If another came, at least it was the evil she knew versus the evil she didn't know.

When he moved to the door, she followed again - a bit more closely, as she ducked around him and indoors. The air inside was thick enough to make her cough, hair falling forward in the movement. Clearly no one had been in there for awhile. She glanced around, before heading towards the kitchen - food was the more immediate concern other than more weapons. She couldn't imagine using a knife or using a gun - mace had always seemed like the limit for her. Besides, she couldn't remember the last time she ate.

"I don't know," she said, honestly. Pausing at the doorway, she tried to come up with something - ending up with only shaking her head again. He didn't get it. "You shouldn't have pretended to be them. I've been hearing them for years." Her eyes began to itch and she shut them, trying to keep from crying. Hadn't she done enough of that lately? "I've been trying to be normal since I was eight. You don't understand what it's like - everyone thought I was crazy." A final shake of the head. "And I don't sing because of them. They ruined it."

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 06:31 am UTC (link)

Leaving would be a lot easier if she didn't want him there, but he couldn't tell if she'd actually prefer him gone. She wasn't that good of a liar... but maybe she was getting better. It was a skill that required practice, after all; but that word still had the power to make him wince. It would be even easier if he could make himself stop caring.

Bran had the knife ready in case anyone was hiding inside, but it didn't seem like anyone had been inside for a while. Whoever once lived here must have left at the first sign of trouble, but that still didn't mean he could let his guard down. "I didn't know that." He hadn't realized they were such a bad thing, not when what he heard inside his head was all he had growing up. "But you're not crazy. You hear them because of... the story. Because of Christine." It was too much of a coincidence, especially considering the nature of the voice he'd pretended to be.

Was this where he apologized? Erik was no help, deciding to be quiet all of a sudden. "I was trying to help. Your voice, it has potential... but I'm sorry if I made things worse." It was honest, even though she probably wouldn't believe it, but there was really nothing else he could say. If she kept thinking of him as a dangerous liar, well, maybe it was for the best. At least she kept trying to be normal - all he did now was pretend.

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 07:10 am UTC (link)

Lotte attempted to cling to her anger - hands balling up as she moved into the kitchen, opening cabinets for supplies. But she wasn’t suited for it and helpless frustration – something Christine emphasized with – was closer to reality. He had done the wrong thing – he had lied to her ever since he met her - he had made her crazy. She shouldn’t feel like she was supposed to do something in return.

“I’m not,” she said, pulling open a cabinet and finding nothing. It slammed shut. “But I didn’t know that – I thought I was really mad, because he was talking to me instead of saying what he had to Christine.” She knew her pronouns weren’t right, but she couldn’t say it as him. It confused her too much and launched too many new thoughts – even more disturbing. “Did you – how much did you know before the first moon?”

His apology startled her – enough that she nearly turned, but stopped herself. The anger was gone by then, as her shoulders sunk. There was a familiar feeling that came and replaced the anger – guilt. She shut her eyes, tears starting again. Why was it that even though she knew she couldn’t trust him, she wanted to? It was idiocy. “I don’t want to sing,” she said, voice shaky. It was an obvious lie, even to herself. Because he had changed that. “I haven’t wanted to, since they came. Between them and my- my father, I just don’t.”

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 06:15 pm UTC (link)

Bran leaned against the doorframe, deciding to keep his distance while Lotte searched the cupboards. He would have preferred to avoid the topic, as usual, but he made himself answer in the hope that maybe if he could try to explain she wouldn't completely hate him. How was he supposed to keep her from getting killed if she didn't want to be near him?

He sighed heavily. "I talked to Katya, after that stupid fable post. She... didn't come right out and say it, but she didn't need to." That sounded bad, he realized, but he tried to keep from seeming too eager to elaborate. "I didn't really believe her, though. At that point the fable business still seemed crazy, and I hadn't read the book. I started reading it, but I didn't get very far." He shrugged, since he hadn't really liked it by the time he did manage to finish it.

Stop making her cry, Erik scolded.

Shut up, please. I don't want her to cry any more than you do! Bran knew she wanted to, and he'd thought that talking to her as the voice might have helped her realize that. But if she kept denying it, there wasn't anything he could do... not anymore. "I thought you did. If you really don't... then I guess I made a mistake."

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 06:37 pm UTC (link)

She'd been hearing things - him - regularly before that full moon. "And that I was Christine?" She began to shake, going on her knees to look in a lower cabinet - and because she wasn't sure if she could keep standing anymore. There wasn't a way to hide her crying, nor a reason to. He'd heard her breakdown before and only pushed her more.

If he knew that she was Christine and that he had Erik...her breath caught and she turned back, for the first time. "Why did you let me go?" Her voice shook, but she made herself look at him. "I trusted you because of that - I told everyone you were fine and safe and you weren't horrible and I thought you wouldn't do anything because of it-" She shook her head as Christine said she was going to get herself killed at this rate. "I trusted you."

She could only shake her head again - could he tell she was lying? "Why does it even matter?"

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 06:55 pm UTC (link)

He'd suspected that she was Christine, but hadn't known - not until after the moon. Denial had only managed to last that long. "She didn't tell me anything about you. I didn't know you were Christine, not until after... in the catacombs." Taking her down there had been Erik, not him; he did like the seclusion, but he wasn't deluded enough to think that he could keep her down there. He didn't want to, because it wasn't the same.

Bran was speechless for a few moments, trying to wrap his head around the fact that she'd trusted him and in a few minutes he'd ruined that. "Why did I let you go?" He echoed her question, confused. "Erik took Christine down there, because he was confused and didn't realize what was going on. I didn't want to keep you locked up down there." What he did want in terms of Lotte was still hazy, and after helping her get her confidence back there really wasn't a set plan. Once she was singing, he supposed that would be enough... or was singing for him what he needed?

"I don't know. It probably shouldn't." Why did it matter? It probably had something to do with how miserable he would have been if something had ruined music for him like the voices had ruined singing for her.

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 07:11 pm UTC (link)

There was a brief pause, before she nodded - choosing to believe him, though her instincts said not to. Her lips pressed together, trying not to look away. "You said you wanted nothing to do with me." And there was a hint of hurt behind that - Lotte always wanted to be liked. Yet this disturbed her, as Christine offered disturbing possibilities. Lotte shut her eyes, a hand wiping at the tears, asking her to stop - it was hard enough to think without an additional person's paranoia.

Lotte didn't look up, accepting the confusion as well though his answer didn't completely satisfy her. "What did you want then?" She had still heard him, once she moved back upstairs - and he had met her as Trevor, during their watch. Before she'd shrugged it off as coincidence - but he must have known, after the catacombs.

"But it does," she whispered, unsure before turning around again. The cabinets were a distraction once more as she spotted something in the back. Crouching a bit lower and nearly crawling in to get in the back, she found a wrapped cloth with a few pieces of stale bread inside.

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 08:00 pm UTC (link)

"What was I supposed to say, that I wanted us to be friends?" Bran shook his head. "I panicked. Besides, I thought you would prefer it that way." He tried to ignore her tears by staring at the ceiling, but with Erik's reminders and the tone of her voice, it was a useless effort.

Why were they even talking about this? It really wasn't the right time. "I don't know. I wanted you to be able to sing without being afraid, but for all I know that could be Erik's influence. Maybe that was why I stopped and listened in the first place." He paused. "I liked hearing you sing."

Not really knowing how to answer that, he kept quiet as she retrieved the stale bread. "At least it's food," he remarked, glancing over his shoulder. "We probably shouldn't stay in once place for too long, just in case."

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still_lotte
2010-06-23 08:38 pm UTC (link)

She kept quiet, wrapping the bread up again as a way to distract herself. It wasn't much, but if they met up with Lucas and Brian again, everyone should be able to get a few mouthfuls. Her stomach growled at the thought, but she ignored it. "I don't know," she said again, not looking at him. It seemed to be the answer to all of their questions.

There was a moment more before she stood. Brushing her skirt off out of habit, she moved towards the door. The guilt from before stopped her from cringing as she slipped past him; and it made her stop a step away. Turning back, she met his eyes with a grimace. "I'm sorry." She only half-meant it - most of her apologies were out of instinct, rather than sincerity. But the guilt was simply getting stronger, even as she knew this couldn't be her fault. Not this time.

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lemortvivant
2010-06-23 09:43 pm UTC (link)

Neither of you know anything. Silly children. He sighed, finding it harder and harder to keep his replies silent instead of yelling out loud. Resisting the urge to tell Erik that there probably wasn't enough of an age difference to warrant being called a child, he turned to follow Lotte outside, even though he would have preferred to go first.

Bran had no idea why she was apologizing - was it to placate him, or something she simply felt she should say? "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything." He didn't feel any better about the situation, and this time he moved past her to exit the building.

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