InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Avada Kedavra!!!!!!"

Samuel Madin (tiger_says_rawr) wrote in bellumletale,
@ 2010-06-12 08:42:00

Current mood:	busy
Current music:	The Beatles - Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me & My Monkey
Entry tags:	!needs tag, count of monte cristo, dracula, gretel, invisible man, javert, mad hatter, mina harker, scheherazade, shere khan, wendy, wicked witch

Public; from 904
Jesus Tapdancing Christ! Where the hell have I been? Rhetorical question. I actually plead the fifth regarding my existence for the past however many hours I've been ~~locked in a laboratory~~ ~~with my head up my ass~~ ~~piss drunk~~ gone.

Since everyone is thrilled to see and hear from me once more, I have decided to host a classy get-together for all of my dear friends here. Where and when can be decided at a later date, but for now we can just pick a theme.

Options:

- Recapturing Lost Innocence. Remember those days of your dewy and glowing virginity? ...no? Neither do I. For this party, you'd arrive with someone who wasn't your current partner. If you don't have a partner then just grab someone off the street, it's fine.

- ABC Party. Stands for Anything But Clothes. I'm not talking nakedness because getting arrested is not on the agenda and, well, some of you really need to keep your clothes on for the sake of my retinas. But obviously creativity comes into play here.

- Rave Party. Blacklights, florescent colors, glowsticks. What's to hate about this?

- Wine and Cheese from Around the World. ~~Nerds only.~~

That's just something to ponder. For those who don't know who I am, I'm Samuel but no one calls me that anymore so Sam is fine. It's shorter and rolls off the tongue easier. I don't do anything like tarot cards or palm readings or seances; I'm actually a scientist of sorts so I can appreciate mental disturbances. It will help me fit in really well around here. You may have also seen me around at various benefits and other charity events - I believe in giving back to the community, and I have a few causes I am strongly devoted to but I don't like to make a big deal out of it. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be seeing you all around at some point. Try not to burn the building down - those stairs can be tricky to navigate when your pants are on fire.

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	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	The fact that you know anything at all about Flava Flav's clock other than the fact that it's comically oversized makes any opinion you have invalid. College girls get them on their ankles a lot. Would you like a cute ankle tattoo? Don't wet yourself, now. I'm not scary, I promise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 07:15 pm UTC (link)
	It's not like I know for sure! It was an assumption, and not a completely off-base one. You mentioned John and Kate Plus 8 first and thus have soiled these forums. Do I look like a college girl? That's what they all say. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	But I didn't name their kids. I know that they exist, but my involvement is clearly superficial. You're obviously in Flava Flav's special fanclub. I guess we've already established that you aren't pretty, so no. Did you want that teardrop, then? Prison is hardcore and the ladies love it. Just don't mention that it was plastic. But I'm not lying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	"Superficial." Meaning that you were glued to your TV set? And you voted for Kate on DWTS. Joanie, beloved tattoo artist, you are not doing your job. Your job is to make me want you to give me a tattoo. Who's to know for sure? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 07:40 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not the one using cute acronyms for shows that cause cancer. I thought my job was to give tattoos to people that wanted them. Nobody told me that I had to actually sell them. There's a reason I never got into retail. Me, myself, and I. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 07:44 pm UTC (link)
	And you expect me to take more time to type it out? I already told you I want one, but you're supposed to be helpful and guide me. It's not like I can walk into your establishment, get naked, and say "Hey, would you just put one....somewhere?" Well, I guess that's all you need, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wickedwicker
2010-06-12 07:51 pm UTC (link)

Good point.

Do not joke about that. It happened once, and I'm still in therapy for it. As far as for you, I guess you can start with places it shouldn't go. If you want it to be easy to hide, avoid extremities and the neck. A lot of guys get upper arm ones, in the shoulder region. The back of the shoulder is pretty common, too. If it's small to medium sized, you could hide a well-placed upper arm one with a normal T-shirt. But also keep in mind that anything over bone will hurt like hell. ~~Exhibit A: Aiden~~ So if you're really opposed to crying like a girl in front of a girl, you might want to avoid the shoulder blades. Though tattoo artists do sign an agreement that anything in their tattoo parlor stays there. We're more trustworthy than confession priests.

They're a helluvalot more trustworthy than the Three Stooges, that's for sure.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 07:56 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, but if I did it, it would be the highlight of your day! Hm, those are all good suggestions. Nice thing to know about the confidentiality. I'm not Catholic either, so I'll take your word for it. And what's the difference between the three, if I may ask? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wickedwicker
2010-06-12 08:01 pm UTC (link)

I hardly consider severe trauma to be a "highlight" worth remembering. And I'm not either, but I know enough to be suspicious of "confession." I'm sure there's a seedy "secrets ring" where priests swap juicy confessional stories for that wine that's supposed to be Jesus's blood.

If you want to talk about it some more before you get it done, you can stop by the shop whenever.

[She leaves the address here.]

It's really close. We have a book of samples to get you thinking, and I can work on an original design if you want.

Oh, that's inner circle information. You don't get to ask that question so quickly.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:08 pm UTC (link)
	You must be surrounding yourself with ugly naked men. I'm sorry for that. And there probably is - wine and those stale crackers. Eeech. They must swap juicy stories to make up for their celibacy. Alright, sounds good. I'll stop by. Regular business hours, I assume? That's okay. I'm a patient man. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 08:11 pm UTC (link)
	Most people that get tattoos need to cover up the ugly. And celibacy? Do you watch the news? Priests get more tail than a crazy cat lady. Yep, 9 to 5. I'm there most days. Off on Tuesday, though. Good for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:14 pm UTC (link)
	So do you have any? Getting tail from a twelve year old boy does not count in my world, mon cherie! If it counts in yours, well. I'll make sure not to stop by on a Tuesday. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	Cute. No, actually, I don't. ~~Not yet.~~ And I'm sure all those little boys would be thrilled to know that they don't count. It's better than therapy. See here I was giving you the opportunity to go there to avoid me if you were scared. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	What is this fuckery? A tattoo artist with no tattoos? Joanie, Joanie, Joanie. I'm sure they'd be even more thrilled to know that you called them 'tail.' Thanks for the opportunity, but I think I'll be okay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 08:30 pm UTC (link)
	~~Sorely regretting telling you my name.~~ What can I say? I want to make sure what I get is something I want to have for the rest of my life. And truthfully, I doubt they'd be thrilled about anything right now. Alright, then. I'll have the book out for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:33 pm UTC (link)
	No dolphins for you? Oh, you're probably right! Being violated by a priest is no fun for anyone! Thank you. Can we go for drinks afterwards or do you have to get home to Myself and I? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	If I was going to have an aquatic creature tattoo, it would be a shark. Dolphins are jerks. And I think that any kind of violation is automatically no fun. ~~Like violating my common sense.~~ Myself and I might fret, but if I tell them I'm okay, they might be persuaded to not file a missing person's report. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	What did a dolphin ever do to you? A wise and true statement, right up there with - well, we covered those already. Great. You just have that conversation with them and I'll be over there ----> (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	A dolphin stole my little sister at the beach. We've never seen her since. Hiding already? That doesn't bode well. I'll make sure you get to hold Mr. Sparkle Tail during your tattoo. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe the dolphin was just leading her home. You'd rather me stalk you as opposed to giving your schizophrenia some privacy? Alright then, Game on, Jo! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	You have too much faith in dolphinkind. ~~"Stalk" is not a good word to use here.~~ 1. I am done with the schizophrenia. Myself and I have given me permission to stay out later than usual. 2. The game is afoot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	You just haven't seen enough episodes of Flipper. 1. Wonderful. If Me wants to order girly appletini's, I definitely wouldn't judge. 2. I never lose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wickedwicker 2010-06-12 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	I don't want cancer. 1. Unfortunately, Me can't offer the same courtesy. So drink something manly or prepare to be laughed at. 2. I doubt that very much, Colonel. Remember that pride usually comes before a fall. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tiger_says_rawr 2010-06-12 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	I'm beginning to think you made the chart and are just not admitting authorship. 1. Well, I definitely don't want to be laughed at by three people, so basically, the stronger the better. 2. A tattoo artist and you write your own fortune cookie sayings! Impressive. Did you put that particular one on someone for a tramp stamp? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wickedwicker
2010-06-12 09:57 pm UTC (link)

Why would I hide my authorship of such a glorious document?

1. Good. And don't worry, I'll haul your drunk ass back here chivalrously. I'm a real gentleman. ~~According to Faith.~~

2. Right now, a bleach-blonde sorority sister is getting nailed and her one-night stand is too distracted by "A pleasant surprise is waiting for you" tattooed across her lower back to really get into it.

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tiger_says_rawr, 2010-06-12 10:09 pm UTC

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wickedwicker, 2010-06-12 10:17 pm UTC

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