InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's got to be a fake!"

Bran Wilder {The Phantom} (lemortvivant) wrote in bellumletale,
@ 2010-06-02 02:26:00

Entry tags:

beast, beauty, christine daaé, meg giry, moriarty, phantom of the opera, scheherazade, wicked witch

Public
[Posted Tuesday morning - I'm slow]

Fuck this building, I don't even know why I'm doing this ~~If it wasn't for Lotte~~

~~I'm not getting locked up in the basement, so don't try it~~

~~Why the hell did I even come here in the first place~~

I know this is a rather hectic time, considering ~~you've decided to set yourselves back a couple hundred years~~ what's been going on lately, but I feel this is as good a time as any to to say this.

You're all aware that one of the fables within the building is the Phantom of the Opera, also known as Erik. I can't and won't deny that he is dangerous, and should be avoided at all costs during the full moon. Considering the audio posts used during the last one, some of you are likely aware that Erik's voice came from my apartment number.

So yes, he is my fable counterpart ~~or whatever the hell you call it~~. It's come to my attention that Christine made a post during that night, however, claiming that Erik and I are the same. As I hope everyone realizes, we aren't our fables, and I'm certainly not him. I plan on doing my best to keep him away from people during subsequent full moons, but I thought I should say this publicly and let everyone know that Christine was misinformed. ~~Not that I need to justify myself to you people~~ ~~None of you are in any position to judge~~

~~If any of you fucking show up at my door after this, it'll be the last thing you ever do~~

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	Re: 1106/703 lemortvivant 2010-06-04 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, this building is clever. It's like a Venus fly trap - once you're in, it's near impossible to get out. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about that. I've seen a lot of stupid people over the years, and I've never crossed the line between mocking and pity. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 wickedwicker 2010-06-04 08:08 pm UTC (link)
	The allure of walking to work and being surrounded by neighbors that make me look well-adjusted by comparison is just too much. If you opened up a rival apartment complex with gold floors, I might consider leaving. That's good to hear. Once you pity, it's all over. It's why I like to watch my stupid people from behind one-way glass in the middle of the night. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 lemortvivant 2010-06-05 05:17 am UTC (link)
	So gold floors hold more allure than poorly adjusted, less-than-sane neighbors? Maybe you can tell me: do stupid people sleep like the rest of society, or is their stupidity evident even when they're not awake? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 1106/703

wickedwicker
2010-06-05 05:44 pm UTC (link)

Gold floors are much more alluring than a band of rag-tag misfits just trying to get along in a wacky situation that screams "early afternoon sitcom." ~~But they have to be gold, not yellow.~~ Gold can't eat people.

It all depends on the stupid person. They're all unique, you know - like clumpy, poorly-formed snowflakes. But I've noticed that in some instances, they'll make this very strange jerking motions with their right arm, almost like they're raising it in class. I've always wanted to know what question they're trying to answer, but some things are just a mystery of science.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 lemortvivant 2010-06-06 12:18 am UTC (link)
	True, but they could be distracting enough to allow walls, stairs, or pillars to appear out of nowhere and cause moderate to serious bodily harm. Really? And here I thought they were basically all the same. If you ever happen to find out what question they try so hard to answer in their sleep, though, let me know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 1106/703

wickedwicker
2010-06-06 12:33 am UTC (link)

That'd be great. You walk into this building with beautiful gold floors. You're so distracted by their beauty that you don't notice the unconscious bodies strewn about the place in awkward positions, and you soon meet a fate that lands you right there with the rest of them. Hiring janitors and maids to staff that place would suck.

I sure will. We can author a paper on it and be the first Doctors of Stupidology. We'd be revered heroes for our tireless work on the Stupid Condition.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 lemortvivant 2010-06-06 01:45 am UTC (link)
	At least their state of unconsciousness would make things run smoothly. The landlord wouldn't have to worry about very many tenant complaints. I've always wanted to be able to add a 'Dr.' to the front of my name. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 wickedwicker 2010-06-06 01:57 am UTC (link)
	But unconscious people drool, and that would tarnish the floors eventually I'd imagine. Also, if they hit their heads hard enough, they might bleed all over the place. That couldn't be good for the floors. And so you will! And since you're also a Mr, you can be Dr. Mr. or Mr. Dr. How cool is that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 lemortvivant 2010-06-06 05:02 am UTC (link)
	Gold is fairly resilient, I think. The only issue would be finding people willing to clean up that kind of mess - to entice applicants, landlords could advertise the fact that it allows ample opportunity to laugh at the expense of others. There are always people who love that. It's so cool I'm not sure I can handle it, really. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 1106/703

wickedwicker
2010-06-06 05:22 am UTC (link)

But how would you collect rent? I don't know how well unconscious people can make pay days, unless there's a "pocket money is fair game" rule. Or instead of renting apartments, they rent the square feet of area they pass out on.

It takes a very strong person to admit that they can't handle enough coolness. I think that that quality alone makes you more than capable of doing so. Embrace your coolness, Dr. Mr.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 1106/703

lemortvivant
2010-06-06 06:34 am UTC (link)

Right, how could I forget? Money makes the world go 'round. The rent-square-feet idea sounds like it might be a keeper.

Only in a madhouse like this could I ever be called cool ~~I'd laugh if it wasn't so utterly ridiculous~~ I'll do my best to live up to my full cool potential. ~~Christ, if fitting in is this easy, maybe I can manage sticking around for a while longer~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 1106/703 wickedwicker 2010-06-06 06:45 am UTC (link)
	You're welcome. It'd work out perfectly because nobody would get the full use of a room, and this way you could pack more people into less space so you have less maintenance to worry about. Godspeed! (Reply to this) (Parent)

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