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Joanie Wicker | The Wicked Witch of the West (wickedwicker) wrote in bellumletale,
@ 2010-05-27 00:03:00

Entry tags:

dr. watson, javert, john seward, plot: forums only, sleeping beauty, van helsing, wicked witch

Public from 703
[Some rustling is heard, a bit of harried scratching in the background. There's a bit of uneven breathing, and finally a female voice.] Hello? Is this on? Shit, I don't even know if I have a microphone. [The sound falls out for a moment before coming back, unsteady.] Okay. Okay, I think I found something that looks like a microphone. I think.

Whatever. Look, am I the only one that is suddenly trapped? I can't open my door or window, and I'm not sure if this is just some prank my friend is pulling or- [A loud pounding is heard in the background, followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back.] Just a sec, some asshole's making noise. [The female voice gets a bit softer, suggesting that the woman has moved away from the microphone.] What the fuck is going on in there? Luther?

[the voice is a near bark] OPEN UP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW. WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DOOR HERE IS LOCKED?

[there is more banging, a mutter which can't quite be made out]

I don't know! [The sound of a doorknob being jiggled is heard, and the female voice raises in pitch.] Is this Javert?

[a tad irritable] Inspector Javert. [pause, as the doorknob is jiggled again] Who are you?

[There's a laborious sigh, and the slam of a palm against a door.] It won't budge, don't break my damn door! I'm Joanie, you're in my apartment. Just sit down and don't touch anything until we figure out what's going on, okay?

Joanie who? [suspicious]

Are you fucking serious? Are you really serious? I'm locked in my bedroom with no way of getting out, and you're suspicious of me? What am I gonna do to you? I'm trapped.

[there's a mutter of merde, before a warning] Step back.

[barely any warning before gunshots; four to be precise]

[There's a scream, and the sound of a body hitting the floor. The female voice returns, shriller than before and hot with anger.] WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? YOU JUST. SHOT. MY. DOOR. YOU COULD HAVE TURNED ME INTO SWISS CHEESE, YOU PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE! [There's the sound of a door being kicked, and a few hissed curse words.]

Shut up. [there's the click of machinery as it's reloaded and then a pause.] Nothing? That's impossible -

[more shooting, around the room - not aimed at the door, though there’s the sound of a shrill scream during the gunfire.]

Merde.

[In the aftermath of the gunshots, there’s a terse silence before things begin to shuffle. There’s the sound of panicked breathing, and the female voice returns.] Holy shit. Holy. Shit. Fuck. Okay, so good news – apparently the walls are bulletproof. And they better be DAMAGE PROOF! [The last two words are shouted, before her voice returns to normal speaking volume.] Please tell me I’m not the only one stuck in a room. Though I hope none of you have a psycho cop in the next room over shooting up all your stuff. That’s something I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

[The microphone records rustling for a few more seconds before turning off.]

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	arcere 2010-05-27 05:28 am UTC (link)
	I hear things have calmed a bit. You are not harmed, are you, Miss Witch? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-27 05:31 am UTC (link)
	[There's a pause, and a low sound of annoyance.] My name is Joanie. And no, I'm not harmed. I'm fine. [Another pause.] Van Helsing, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-27 05:45 am UTC (link)
	Miss Joanie, then. I apologize. Yes, I am he. [a pause as he thinks.] Ah, yes, now your name is familiar. He knows you quite well, does he not? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 307/703

wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:48 am UTC (link)

[A pause and sigh of slight aggravation.]

Just Joanie. No miss required, I insist.

And yeah, we're acquainted. Do you remember the stakes you used last full moon? Those were my handiwork. Were they okay? Let me know if there's anything I can do to better supply you, because Aiden doesn't really give me any specifics, and I think you know more about this stuff than he does.

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Re: 307/703

arcere
2010-05-27 05:59 am UTC (link)

Of course, then, Miss - [pause.] Joanie.

Ah, then these are your work? They are quite powerful to the touch, and I must admit I had not thought of seeking out magic to assist in these matters. But you are assisting in God's work, so I cannot say you are evil, nor shall I dare to. I thank you on both his and my behalf for this assistance.

Now, as for anything else ... the holy communion wafer is an absolute necessity, though I am unsure as to if you could obtain the holy power of it, or even of holy water. No ... I will leave him a note about that. Perhaps instead you could recreate a crucifix I gave to Mr. Harker? I have no desire to take it from him, but I would enjoy having its small comfort returned to me.

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Re: 307/703

wickedwicker
2010-05-27 06:04 am UTC (link)

[There's a long delay as she collects her thoughts.]

I'm happy to help you all combat Count Dracula. He- [She pauses.] When he isn't Dracula, when he's just a man. He's not a good one. At all. I think that God would agree with you on this one, on all accounts.

I made a few wafers, but...I'm not sure if they work, because I'm- [She pauses again.] Not a priest. I thought I could mostly just make hardware. You know, like the stakes.

And sure, I could copy that crucifix no problem! Just show it to me and I can make you a double pretty fast.

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Re: 307/703

arcere
2010-05-27 06:09 am UTC (link)

So I have learned. [slightly weary now] Aiden does not listen to me often, but there are some things that are simply ... shared.

Yes, this is why I doubted the prospect. But there are other places to obtain such things. Surely there is a church nearby willing to give up some of the Lord's tools for this grisly work. As for my crucifix, I no longer have it with me, but it was small, perhaps a few centimeters long, and gold. Very simple in construction. Do not worry about an exact recreation - a crucifix is always a blessing.

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Re: 307/703

wickedwicker
2010-05-27 12:31 pm UTC (link)

Are there, really? [Her voice is mock-serious.] That's...odd. I can't imagine why he doesn't get more from you, then.

Unfortunately, Professor, the churches around here don't know about all this. If Aiden went to them asking for holy relics for the sake of vampire slaying, he'd get thrown out in five seconds. You'd almost have better luck at an occult store or something.

[She takes a long pause at the mention of the crucifix.] O...kay...so it's just a gold crucifix? Solid gold? [Another pause.] Do those have Jesus on them, or are they just the cross?

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	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-27 06:33 pm UTC (link)
	A pity. Perhaps more subtle methods will be required, then. I may have to leave him a more detailed note. It is simply the cross. Quite simple and straightforward, so do not worry much about decoration. If you could leave it with him next time you meet, that would be excellent. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 307/703

wickedwicker
2010-05-27 07:36 pm UTC (link)

[She laughs.] I don't think a detailed note telling him what he should and shouldn't do is very subtle at all. No, if you want to get through to Aiden, I suggest a mallet and a megaphone. Even then, it's a toss-up as to whether or not he wants to get anything through his skull.

Okay. How big should it be? Sorry about all the questions, it's just really hard for me to make stuff when I'm not really sure about what I'm doing.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-27 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	Subtlety is often lost on him, I'm afraid. The note will be to tell him to use subtle methods in gaining the proper tools. He is a bit stubborn when it comes to many subjects. Five centimeters long, perhaps two and a half wide at the crossbar. The actual width of the gold is quite thin. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-27 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	[There's the sound of a pencil on paper, taking rapid notes.] Good luck with that. Want me to kick him for you if he doesn't listen? I don't know what good it would do, but it would be funny. And I wrote that all down. You'll have it the next time you come around. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-27 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	No, I believe enough repetition will sink it into his mind. Thank you. This will give both him and I more protection in the coming days. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-27 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	I think he's impervious to repetition. I think that, were he found naturally in the wild, it would be his self-defense mechanism against predators. No sweat, I'm happy to help. Let me know if you need anything else, okay? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-27 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	It would be one of many. Or perhaps it is, right now. Of course. If I think of more, I will be sure to either tell you, or leave you a note of it. Ah, though perhaps I do have a favor to ask of you: keep an eye on him, if you can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-27 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	Do humans even have predators? I thought we had kinda side-stepped evolution when we invented elevators. Go for it. [There's an incredulous pause, and her voice borders on laughter.] Keep an eye on him? Aiden's a big boy, Professor, are you sure he needs a babysitter? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-28 03:19 am UTC (link)
	He is somewhat careless. I want you to keep him from acting too rashly. If he tries to put his life in danger, pull him away. There is only so much I can do. You have earned some of his trust, have you not? He would listen to you, I presume. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: 307/703

wickedwicker
2010-05-28 03:29 am UTC (link)

[She laughs.]

I don't think anybody could earn even an iota of Aiden's trust. [She pauses, considering this.] But he doesn't absolutely loathe me, so I guess in comparison, you're almost right.

[After a pause, her voice gets a bit more serious.]

Don't worry. I won't let him do anything retarded, believe me. He'll hate me for it, but I'll keep his pasty ass out of too much trouble.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-28 03:40 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. It may become necessary. And allow me to say - if you continue to have troubles with overzealous lawmen, I would be happy to give you my assistance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-28 03:43 am UTC (link)
	[Jokingly.] Do I have permission to use force? [She sighs.] Thanks, I appreciate it. But I think that your skills are better suited for getting rid of that... [She breaks off, voice shuddering slightly.] Very bad person. He's more dangerous than the inspector. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 arcere 2010-05-28 03:46 am UTC (link)
	To an extent. I'm sure you would not kill him. True. Still - if he reaches out to other sources, I may be of some help. Additionally, I believe my friend John can help you. He stopped the man from shooting once; I have no doubt that he can do it again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: 307/703 wickedwicker 2010-05-28 03:54 am UTC (link)
	Don't worry, I wouldn't kill Aiden. He's too entertaining. Well, thank you. Unfortunately, the witch-hating inspector takes over the body of one of my closest friends, so I'll need to figure out how to handle it sooner or later. [She laughs.] But thanks again. You guys are way too nice. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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