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christine. ([info]doctorpalmer) wrote in [info]avengers_logs,
@ 2018-02-19 17:26:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:-complete, christine palmer, stephen strange

Who: Christine Palmer & Stephen Strange
What: A reunion of sorts
When: February 19, early morning
Rating/Warnings: Green




Christine couldn't say that morning started off like any other, because no mornings felt quite the same since that bizarre and frankly quite jarring encounter she had with Stephen Strange in the emergency room. That moment, in which she quite literally saw her ex's spirit project itself in front of her and tell her what to do. What happened after that, honestly, she didn't know. What she did know was that the world around her was no longer what she believed it to be. There were other elements, other things out there that existed that went far beyond the world she knew, and so because of that everything just seemed a bit off for her moving forward.

After a lot of self reflection, YouTube, and reading about things that may or may not be true, Christine had decided the best thing for her would be to try to stick with her daily routine. Knowing that she was secretly surrounded by all sort of things that made no sense, she felt she needed to cling to what did make sense until she could learn what was real and what wasn't. As such, she woke that morning bright and early as always, showered, dried her hair and pulled it back away from her face, then changed into a pair of leggings, tennis shoes, a fitted tank top and zipped a hoodie up around her upper half. She locked her apartment, stuck her keys in her cross body purse along with her phone, and set off to walk to the subway station. It was ungodly early for most, but getting to work before the sun came up was typical for her.

After exiting the subway and walking a block or so, Christine could see the hospital just ahead, but as she stepped off the curb and began to cross the street, she stopped abruptly. Something wasn't right. It was that same, eerie, unsettling feeling from the hospital that day with Stephen; one she'd never forget for as long as she lived. She sucked in a sharp breath and looked around. The crosswalk sign was blinking orange and people were hurrying all around her. She stepped backwards, back up onto the curb and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Stephen," she whispered, "is that you?"

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 01:08 am UTC (link)
She almost wished that whatever it was he'd been doing was a cult. At least she could try to convince him to get out of it if that was the case. Whatever this was, it didn't feel as simple as that. If he needed to actually take time to sit her down and explain it, then it was probably not exactly the best case scenario.

Ultimately, the only thing she could do was follow along. What other choice was there? Something wasn't right, and the only way she was going to get answers was to hear them directly from him. He was the only person she'd trust to get answers from anyway. That was a scary realization, all things considered.

When she suggested going back to her place, she'd been intending to go back the way she came. By the subway. Instead, he'd led her in a different direction and soon she came face to face with that weird portal sort of entity he'd shown her before at the hospital. Only this time, she was looking into her living room. "Y-Yeah," she said. "I changed the rug since you were last there but that's.. Yes, that's my living room." She moved a little closer, and truly a testament to the fact that she did trust him, reached her hand through. When she was able to pull it back safely, she looked up at him. "I guess this would be faster than taking the subway. You just.. go through it?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 01:18 am UTC (link)
"Is that what's different," he said, squinting at the rug while Christine was reaching around to see if it was safe. He couldn't blame her for doing that. He could blame himself because now was not the best time to remember that the old rug was scratchy to roll around on. "I like this one better."

He looked over at her and nodded once and only once.

"Yep. Here." He put one arm around her waist, telling himself it was only to reassure her. "I'm going to move us through it. I won't let anything happen to you. Ready? Set? Walk."

He guided her through and in only the matter of three steps. They were standing in her living room, and the portal was closing in on itself, disappearing into the air in a series of harmless golden sparks.

Stephen smirked at Christine in such a way, that it was a pale shadow of the overabundant ego he once had.

"Faster than the subway," he said.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 01:28 am UTC (link)
Did she want to let herself go down the rabbit hole of asking how any of this was possible? Well, first, she'd need to found out what this actually was. The abbreviated version she'd gotten from him while she was patching him up and saving his life was not exactly a thorough explanation. She'd tried doing research herself, but nothing was concrete and she didn't know what to believe. The curious part of her did want to know. The part of her that was eager to learn, to find out what was going on with the man she really did believe she had a future with, wanted to know everything. The logical side of her, the one that was so desperate to cling to the idea that her ex boyfriend was just really into holistic methods of healing and had ditched designer clothing because that was easier than anything else.

But the second she let him guide her through that portal, she'd left logic behind and suddenly found herself standing in her apartment with Stephen Strange and now she had to accept what he was going to tell her as truth because there were no other options. And she could put her faith in that. One look at the smirk on his face and she knew that was true.

Her gaze left his face to the remnants of the portal and the sparks that dissipated in its wake as it vanished. "Before we get started, do I need tea, or should I just sit down?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 01:53 am UTC (link)
Safest bet? He tried not to make a face that was contorted into a split second wince. He failed miserably.

"Probably...want to sit down. And I'll get you the tea." He pointed toward the kitchen as he started walking in that direction, leaving the red cloak hovering in place where he once stood. One corner of it lifted once Stephen's back was turned, and it waved a little hello to Christine.

Even though it had been a while since he had been at her place, so he had to rely on his photographic memory to locate the cups and tea. He started some water boiling, as he began talking.

"I broke the universe. On accident," he started, aiming for the blunt approach. Christine was smart, he knew she was smart enough to already figure out that there were things unseen in this world. He wasn't going to be surprised if she mentioned that she tried to research it, with the same vigor he had shown with the library full of esoteric tomes. "It was to save this world from being consumed for an eternity by a dark dimension housing an entity known as Dormammu. I can manipulate time, so I looped my death so many times, that Dormammu had to make a deal with me. And he left Earth alone."

He glanced over at Christine and said in an utterly conversational manner, "And he took his actual cultists with him. Actual. Cultists."

Which he is not. A cultist. He's getting that point across, with a stare.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 01:45 pm UTC (link)
Christine considered herself to be an open minded person. She liked listening to different points of view because sometimes it helped her to learn new things and form more educated opinions and thoughts about different matters. Even though her career was based in science and medicine, she still had a pretty decently creative imagination and that was probably why she was always so driven to look at every solution possible, even to consider the impossible, when faced with a dire situation in the emergency room. And that was probably why she went along with so many of Stephen's outlandish ideas to try to 'fix' his hands after his accident because all it would take was one success in a sea of failures to make it right.

But this?

A cape was waving at her. Waving. Lacking thought, she raised her hand and gave a little wave back because, at this point, why not?

She appreciated his bluntness; honestly, she did. Christine would expect no less. Beating around the bush wasn't going to make it sound any less out there or beyond anything she could've possibly predicted he might have to say. She had that same sort of feeling she did both times in the ER when he showed up projecting his spirit and coming in with the woman who'd fallen that they'd been unable to save. This went far beyond science, far beyond her wildest imaginings. Stephen was saying he broke the universe and could manipulate time.

Not a cultist. Right. She met his stare with one of her own and she really had no idea what read on her expression. It was a case of system overload. So much so that she tore her gaze away from him to look at the cape for answers. Because that made sense.

Her gaze returned back to him then but it still took her a good few seconds to find her voice. Even when she did, what was she supposed to say to all of that? "I feel like I should be telling you that you've suffered some sort of traumatic mental break over your accident and have concocted all this as a way to cope, and if it hadn't been for that day when you did that.. astral projection thing at the hospital, I would," she said. "But Stephen, you.. You're talking about dark dimensions and death loops and .. Door-mom-moo and .." She covered her face with her hands long enough to run them back through her hair and pull the ponytail loose to let her hair fall free because her head was starting to hurt.

"What do you mean, you broke the universe? Can we start with that?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 05:41 pm UTC (link)
It probably didn't help matters that the cape shrugged a little when Christine looked to it for answers that made sense.

It also didn't help when Stephen corrected the pronunciation, because he was a stickler that way.

"Dormammu. A primordial demonic entity that rules the Dark Dimension. Looks like a giant head." He remembered the exact amount of sweetener she liked in her beverages. That was disturbing. The entire situation was disturbing. He gave her slightly more sweetener to make up for it. "This amulet I'm wearing is an Infinity Stone. It controls time. I activated it with a spell, to turn back time. No joking about that Cher song. Basically, it kept the Dark Dimension from absorbing our world."

After stirring, he tapped the spoon against the side of the cup and then rinsed it off in the sink. To say he liked things orderly was an understatement.

"What happens, when you mess with time," he said, walking past his hovering cloak and sitting down next to her, "was that it runs the risk of creating distortions, time loops, paradoxes. I split our timeline into two pieces. I split everyone into two beings. No one would have noticed. I didn't notice. Until things started to go wrong. Which you felt. Oh. Here's your tea."

Stephen offered the cup of tea to Christine.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 06:42 pm UTC (link)
It took a great deal of self control for her not to roll her eyes at him for correcting her pronunciation of what apparently looked like a giant head. Not the time. Not when there was still talk of death and darkness and things that she really had no idea how to even begin to grasp the concept of other than to just take his word for it. That was what she'd been doing, and it was why she was trying to learn so much about whatever this all was because despite parting ways, she still cared. She was always going to care; whether that was detrimental to her emotional well being or simply what was meant to be remained to be seen.

What she'd quickly learned even through her own exploration that what Stephen was apparently involved in was not the typical go see a spiritual healer to have one's chakras and auras cleansed to find clarity in life or learning how to meditate for inner peace. The things she'd seen and not seen in the hospital that day had told her that it was far more, far deeper and probably darker than that.

As unnerving as the kind of sentient cloak was, she also found she felt a weird sort of endearment toward it. Sort of like its owner.

A slight turn of her head toward him when he sat was all she gave at first as she listened and tried to put together what he was saying. Her headache had shifted slightly behind her left eye as her gaze fell into her teacup that was now cupped between her palms. "So what you're saying is, there are two of me now? One of me is probably looking over case loads and prepping for rounds, and the other is sitting here talking to you. But we're both existing, both just as real? Am I following?" She took a sip of the tea.

"You put extra sweetener in this." Another sip. "On purpose?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 06:59 pm UTC (link)
"Uhh? Yeah. I thought you might need it right now."

He pressed his lips together and hmmm'd for a moment, staring over at the cloak like it might help out. It didn't make any moves, only kept hovering in place like it was listening and not necessarily disagreeing. That figured. His cloak was selectively helpful, just like the universe was.

"You've got it," he said, looking back at her. "That other you is probably doing that, right now, as we speak. Unaware. We're in an unstable mirror dimension, closely coinciding with that original timeline. We're now our own part of the multiverse. And we're still us. With all of our experiences. With everything we've ever done, up until this very moment."

There wasn't much comfort in that, and there was a strange twist to his lips, that almost looked like he meant to console her. Almost, because it seemed too grim to offer any real comfort.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 07:34 pm UTC (link)
A nod of her head in thanks was her response to his admission to adding extra sweetener to her drink. Of course it was on purpose; she wouldn't doubt that he still remembered how she took her tea.

To say she actually believed everything he was telling her made Christine wonder if she was the one experiencing some sort of psychotic break. This was crazy. She'd always felt like there was far more to the world, the galaxy, the universe and everything in between than what they as humans knew, but this went so far beyond all of that.

That look on his face was one she knew. He was trying to be kind of gentle about it even in his bluntness, and that wasn't lost on her. Another sip of tea, then she set the teacup on a coaster on the coffee table across from them. Slowly, she turned sideways so she could actually face him. "I need more specifics than that. You have to break it down for me, Stephen. I'm not stupid but this is.. This goes so much further than anything I found when I was.." That was about as much of an admission that she'd been trying to figure out what was going on with him as she'd give just yet. "Do other people know about this? Are you trying to handle it by yourself?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Stephen pressed his lips into a thin line, while staring at the cup on the table. It was the sort of focus that caused him to squint, almost as though he was looking through it and not at it. With all the things that he had seen thus far, with all the dimensions he had passed through while looking for threats, it left a lasting impression. Enough that he was forced to compartmentalize it all in his mind. It was how he was able to keep functioning despite every odd or terrible thing that was happening. There was Jessica Jones, still missing. Accords hovering over their heads. Sharks in tornadoes.

It was comforting that some things didn't change, even if the world was changing around them. He was right that she had dove into researching for answers. Leave it to Christine to ask about how he was faring, specifically.

A blink of his eyes and he looked over at her, mustering up a tight smile. It was the best he could offer.

"I'd show you the spell," and it was here that he hesitated, "but I'm trying not to risk further damage. This timeline is still settling. Or trying to. There's an online network built by Stark for people who, for whatever reason, have felt what you felt. Or they've been taken from wherever they were, and brought here against their will. So? No. It's not like I'm trying to handle everything on my own. Necessarily."

He stared long and hard at her, because he didn't want her dragged into this. His bedside manner wouldn't ever hold a candle to Christine's, and that's why he kept on with his blunt approach. He could talk to her. Even if The Strange Policy was still in effect.

"I can't fill in the blanks of what you think you know, unless you tell me. Or start asking specific questions. Did you read into astral projection or out of body experiences?"

Better to start with the basics. The sad thing about his life was that astral projection had become a basic tool that he could do on a whim.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-20 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Of course she was going to see how he was doing. Even when he was at his worst with her, she still cared. Walking away from him, breaking up with him, fighting with him; none of those things ever caused her to stop caring. Stephen Strange would always have a piece of her heart, even when she wanted to take it back. There were moments when she wanted to stop, when she wanted to rip her heart out of his grip because she didn't even think he wanted it at times. But that wasn't how it worked. She didn't get to consciously decide that, and as such, she'd been doing the only thing she knew how to do. She kept caring.

Of course her first thought was that he was doing this on his own, taking the weight and stress of what happened onto himself. That was too much, even for someone who'd broken the universe. She didn't want that for him, no matter what had happened in their past or the fact that she was now a part of this, too.

His stare was piercing, but she didn't waver. Christine looked him in the eye, though her own gaze wasn't as hard. It held a myriad of emotions; desperation, fear, curiosity, and that godforsaken sense of compassion she'd always hold for him. "I started off going down an internet rabbit hole of Google searches about astral projection and had no idea what was legit or just a random person's blog about their experiences so then I started looking for experts who'd written books and I read a lot. More than I'd care to admit without looking desperate so let's just say, I got a lot of looks in the doctor's lounge and leave it at that. Nick might think I'm being wooed by a cult at this point."

Her lips fixed in a line as she tried to form her thoughts. "I'm pretty sure whatever I read about is only the tip of a pretty big ice berg you've been floating around since I last saw you. So let's get specific. How long has this been going on? Is this how it's going to be forever? Should I be expecting you to turn up at the hospital with near fatal wounds like you did before? Is anyone trying to kill you?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-20 09:32 pm UTC (link)
It was like they were trying to mirror back the same piercing stare between them both, back and forth. His gaze was intently focused and unwavering, the same sort of stare he once had when performing a delicate surgery. He wanted to make her understand without having to show her, and he had already shown her too much. So much for operating in secrecy.

"Still not a cult," he murmured, gently resting one hand against the side of her face. "It happened at the end of twenty-sixteen. Over a year ago. It's going to be this way until, someday, it settles into its own. I don't know when. And there's probably going to be things trying to kill us. Like sharks. In tornadoes. And there's other people, right now, that could be hurt or even killed if they aren't careful. All because of my mistake."

And if he heard Tony Stark mention 'sharknado' one more time, he was going lose his self-contained cool.

He smirked a little bit at that thought, while rubbing a thumb over her cheek. This was a problem. He couldn't stop caring about her either. It was easier when she wasn't right there in front of him. Now that she was, it was a distraction, and he was concerned that he couldn't afford a distraction given everything going on.

It still seemed right. Being there. Being with her.

That was probably the reason he looked into her eyes and said, "I can show you."

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-21 01:05 am UTC (link)
Honestly, Christine felt like she was standing at a crossroad. She could just try her best to keep on existing in this bizarre, multiverse in the same way she'd been living the life she knew up to this point. Stephen could go back to what he was doing, and she would do as she'd been doing. They would both be helping people in their own way. That was how they'd left things before, wasn't it? Or, she could let him 'show' her as he indicated he could. She could go down that path instead, immerse herself in the things she'd never thought possible, that she'd read about and wondered what the hell she was trying to get into.

Could she really take the first path? No, not really. If she tried, she'd still be wondering now that she sort of knew the truth of what was going on. She'd wonder what he was doing, if he was okay, and anytime she heard about any sort of dangerous situation she'd wonder if he was involved. It wasn't really a crossroad at all. All paths led back to Stephen. Hadn't she learned that lesson long ago?

As she continued to look into her eyes, Christine could say that yes, that was true. The way he was touching her face, so tender, as though he truly did cherish her, wasn't lost on Christine. He'd done the same thing the last time they were together. His words weren't lost on her too; his mistake. So he was taking all the weight of what happened onto his shoulders. That didn't surprise her, though she wished he wouldn't.

"I need you to show me," she said, and brought her hand up to touch his opposite cheek. Was she ready to see? Probably not, but how could she be expected to be? Her thumb brushed across his cheek bone, as the resolve settled into her expression.

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-21 08:57 am UTC (link)
There were several things he could do to show her. Taking her on the same abrupt journey the Ancient One showed him, traveling through multiple dimensions in an astral form, was out of the question. It was too much to absorb, too soon. But the split between their two very close dimensions? He could show Christine that. Or, at the very least, hear it.

"No matter what, stay calm. If you panic, you'll be back in your body in an instant. And it will hurt all over for a few seconds." Stephen rested his other hand on her shoulder, guiding her back onto the couch until they were both leaning against the back of it, facing one another. The intimacy of this moment wasn't lost on him, and he spared a token moment lost in a memory of long shifts where life and death was always weighing upon their every choice, and with stolen kisses when their colleagues weren't looking. "Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream."

He smiled at her and it was at the precise moment that his hand on her cheek felt like it began humming with gathering energy. With the slightest application of pressure, he suddenly pushed Christine's astral form out of her body. He simultaneously left his own body behind. They floated together until they were standing as two ghosts in front of the shells of their own selves, only two feet away from the couch.

Everything around them looked slightly hazy, the colors a little off as though trying to peek through a technicolor fog. That was not all that was different. In the distance, emanating from every imaginable direction, were sounds that could only be described as crystalline. The noise alternated between a glistening shimmer not unlike innumerable tiny wind-chimes in a soft breeze, to the sound of heavy glacial ice cracking. At irregular intervals, there was a long drawn out cacophony, like several tectonic plates made of glass were slowly scraping against one another.

"That," Stephen said, his voice very faintly echoing, "is the sound of a broken universe."

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-21 04:19 pm UTC (link)
One of the things she'd come to find over the course of their relationship was that whenever they separated, whether it was an amicable parting of ways, an abrupt cut off with one of them storming away from the other, or whatever the case might be, it always still felt like they were still linked somehow, and that was why he could cup the side of her face and she could look at him with tenderness. It was how they could link hands standing beside each other over a sink, and how they could banter about cults and not-cults when they came face to face again. In other words, no matter what happened, they could still find some level of comfort in each other, with each other. That was why she was trusting him right now, letting him guide her and shifting on the couch accordingly.

When he told her to stay calm, of course that meant she wanted to panic. The good thing about being an ER surgeon was that she was conditioned not to panic in any scenario. They'd both seen some pretty dire conditions in patients they'd worked with and maintained their calm. Christine could do that now, too. At least, she hoped she could. She was relying solely on that learned instinct to do as Stephen told her and relax. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she took a deep breath. One of the ridiculous videos she'd watched on YouTube started this same way, but somehow she knew this was going to be different.

And boy, was that true.

The next thing she knew, she was hovering above herself -- which was a very bizarre concept to have to accept as a realization. The Christine and Stephen she could see looked like they'd just fallen asleep on the couch together after back to back long shifts at the hospital. That actually was a comforting sight and it allowed her to look around and take in everything else around them. That was about the time she started to hear the sort of glass like sound. It reminded her of one time they'd gone away together for a weekend in Vermont and it had begun to snow overnight. She'd stepped outside of the cabin they were staying in and just listened. It was so quiet she could actually hear the snowflakes hitting the ground. It sounded a lot like that.

His voice pulled her from that memory, and she looked over at him again. "Is it going to keep breaking? What does that mean if it does?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-21 07:08 pm UTC (link)
For every one of those reasons - that they had always been linked somehow, either out of friendship or something much more - Stephen knew that there was little use in sparing her all of the further details. Not now. Not when she was bearing witness to what he had been hearing over the past few months. Before he became aware that destiny had other mysterious mechanization for him, and for whoever else had been earmarked of importance. He considered the further possibility that those close to people of greater importance were now being lured into this mess. It hadn't been this bad at first, just a minor tinkling noise amidst the all encompassing hush of the astral plane. As time passed, it began to grow in intensity, ebbing between a state of stability and moments where it seemed like everything might shatter to pieces. Yet it held its own. And the other him, in the other timeline, didn't seem to be affected or notice any inconsistency over there at all. They hadn't spoken, but that was because Stephen was a strong proponent of not interfering, especially where time travel was concerned. This was his problem and his home universe.

"Everything I've studied says it should settle into its own. Eventually. In the meantime, there will be...inconsistencies," was his matter-of-fact reply. These days he sounded like he knew more than anyone else did, only without talking down to someone at the same time. "I'm guessing there will be periodic bleed-over from the primary timeline, and from other timelines. That's why there were sharks in tornadoes. Must have been a busy day in the emergency department. And if I used the time stone when it sounds like this? It could shatter everything."

Thankfully, the din quieted back down again. Stephen's eyes darted back and forth as he listened, before he focused back on Christine with a tight smile.

"Relative stability."

He found himself wishing that they had reached some form of stability, before the accident and the mystic route he set out on. He was a different person then. Arrogant and dismissive of anyone he viewed as inferior. That had extended to Christine's life calling, choosing to save drunk idiots with guns from their own stupidity. How often had he looked down at patients like they were Darwin Award honorees, and now he had the population of an entire planet to safeguard. The irony of this was not lost on him.

Even if Stephen was still resting his hands on Christine's shoulders, he always felt a disconnect from everyone and everything. Once upon a time, it had been his ego and intellect getting in the way. Now, it was the side-effect of knowing more than was ever imagined in humanity's wildest dreams, and from having one foot on Earth while the other was tap-dancing around in limitless dimensions.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-22 08:21 pm UTC (link)
In other words, he sort of felt like things should go one way, but it was still possible that they could go another. Nothing was guaranteed. That was a hard pill to swallow. So was the fact that she was actually floating outside of her body right now. Amazingly enough, the latter was easier to accept. "Sharks in tornadoes," she repeated, and shook her head. "I can't believe that's not the weirdest thing I've heard today."

She still felt like she had so many questions, yet at the same time didn't have any idea what to actually ask or say to him. The biggest question she had now was why her? The only reason she'd even noticed was because she'd gotten a feeling that something was amiss. But what if she hadn't? Would she have just gone on to the hospital like it was any other day? Stephen likely would've noticed but would he have told her? Would she even have any idea that something had changed?

"I know that it.. probably sounds ridiculous," she said. "But is there.. I mean, is there a way I can help you with this?"

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-22 10:40 pm UTC (link)
That was the crux of it all. The people that hadn't felt anything simply went about their daily lives, without a clue. They didn't know they were in another timeline. They didn't know they were a double. Life went on, as life does.

Even if that life included sharks in tornadoes.

When Christine asked him that question, he appeared to be mulling over what to say. He wasn't sure what they were, if they were just friends or something more. If he could put her through such a terrible burden, or if this was the universe's way of saying he didn't have to shoulder it alone. Or if there was an entirely different purpose to why she was chosen. That there was something else entirely that she was meant to do, or that might happen to her. Which was a thought his mind didn't even want to dwell on for very long, if anything happened to her.

"It's not ridiculous," he finally replied, taking hold of her hands in his. "I don't know if there's a way you can help me. Last time you tried, I thought my life was over. I pushed you away, even when you tried to help. Then I came to you when I needed help. Twice."

He tried not to laugh at himself, all of a sudden. He realized it was idiotic to think that the last time they saw one another, that it would be a final goodbye. He knew he couldn't get distracted from tasks at hand, and that Christine was a welcome distraction. Even bantering about cultists provided a moment of rest he often didn't afford himself, from all of the frequent studying and constant observance of everything he was trying to keep track of.

Sadly, it still didn't feel like it was enough.

"This network I'm on. We might need a skilled doctor on call. And as for me," and here he paused, raising a hand to touch a ghostly lock of her hair. "Seeing you has helped. More than you can possibly imagine. Soooo. What if we continue as friends for right now. That are sharing a terrible secret. And you can come to my place for tea and getting creeped out."

If all else failed, fall back on that awkward way of making things seem (not-so-)appealing.

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[info]doctorpalmer
2018-02-23 05:12 pm UTC (link)
His admission was one of the exact reasons that Christine could never just give up on Stephen Strange even when she wanted to. He always knew what he was doing when he did things like pushing her away or said something he didn't mean. He knew he was doing it on purpose and could own up to it later. When he apologized to her in the hospital, that was why she told him to stop because she already knew he felt horrible about what he'd done pretty much the moment the words left his mouth. It was that ego that kept him from stopping her when she threw his key on the counter and stormed out the last time. It was always his ego, and maybe that would be too much for another person to deal with. But for whatever reason, be it fate or her incessant need to see the good in everyone, Christine could see past that. She saw the greatness within his heart and that was how she knew he didn't mean to hurt her, ever.

That said, she was also human and there was only so much she could take in one sitting which was why she'd walked away from him that night and every time he pushed too far. He couldn't just get away with it. There had to be repercussions. But she also thought he'd been put through hell and no matter how egocentric and frustrating he was, losing his hands had been devastating so however awful he was to her it was she knew it was a projection of his loss into anger and not because he meant anything he said to her.

There was still a lot that she didn't understand, probably would never understand, but hearing him say that there was at least something she might be able to help with using the skill set she already possessed, put her a little bit at ease. Though she would hope that the people he was referring to on this network wouldn't necessarily need the help she could provide, it was good to know that maybe there was a purpose for her to be brought into this multiverse anyway.

His conclusion that they should continue as friends for right now made her smile. "So, the Strange Policy remains in place," she said. That was fine. Things were so confusing and she was still trying to wrap her head around all of it while he was trying to keep this version of the world safe. Complicating it with the never ending saga of their love story wasn't something that they necessarily needed right now. Right now.

"Just.. know that I'm here, Stephen."

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[info]doctor__strange
2018-02-23 08:05 pm UTC (link)
"Your thing, not mine," he tried joking, and almost managed a wry smirk. "I think it should be hyphenated, like the Strange-Palmer Technique. Or Palmer-Strange. Only because it's alphabetical."

Of course that's why. Because it's alphabetical.

Christine was right on all counts. Regardless of everything going horribly wrong, Stephen Strange didn't know the meaning of giving up, and would pursue everything with dogged determination when he set his mind to it. That dogged determination meant that sometimes he had trouble letting go. An oddity considering life and death once seemed so clear and simple before, as a surgeon. Before everything changed and the universe unfolded itself before his eyes, and nothing seemed the same anymore. Nothing, except for Christine. And maybe, just maybe, this broken universe was telling him that was better to keep her closer than trying to keep her far away. Their story wasn't over and done with, despite his best intentions to keep her outside of this insanity.

The distant sounds of time trying not to fall apart steadily began to encroach, shattering that brief moment of near silence. He reached out and took hold of her hand.

It would be enough. It had to be.

For right now.

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