Land of Atlantis Communication

Okay, this is totally not my penthouse.

I have things to do, and I'd like to be doing them right now, so, directions how to get home are welcome.  Now, please.

Bass, if this has anything to do with you, or the return of your blond bar top counterpart, I will remove those parts of you that are most dear.

Okay, the kidnapping thing? Not cool. My parents will think I ran away again and I can't be cut off and CeCe is looking for any excuse to further ruin my life, so I need to go back and not give her excuses.

I also have a fiance to get back to. Not that I'm really looking forward to the wedding. William is great... but he's not Rufus. Do you see how this is a million times wrong?

Is it a ransom you're looking for? I'm sure between the Rhodes and van der Woodsen families they can come up with plenty of money, just send me back now.

I think I need to go shopping for a new bikini so I can take more advantage of the beach. Anyone want to go shopping with me?

Okay, what kind of joke is this? I thought I was finally on good terms with everyone after coming home...