Hey you- yeah you, whoever you are.
I really appreciate the nice gesture and it's a pretty sweet place but I'm not in the mood for hotel crashing, so how about you tell me what you want and I might get it for you and then you let me out of here, alright?
Or do you really want to go the hard way? 'Cause that's fine with me.
[The video clicks on. The bossy man looks bossy. Balthier is staring right into the camera, he's got this leading man thing under control.]
After getting to know each other I think it's time we get to know the place. Some of you have already been around, some not. Any case it looks like we'll be opening a lot of doors in the future thus I suggest everyone, who has any intention of leaving this lousy hotel, replies with their "e-mail address" [He sounds a bit amused. Or sarcastic. Who knows.] and a short description of their home. Nothing too detailed. At least the name of the world you're looking for.
So in case someone happens to run into a door that leads to a place that fits the description, this someone could be kind and inform the interested by e-mail sharing the location of the said door before this practical building decides to rearrange itself. Again.
Whoever the hell is slamming doors? STOP THAT SHIT. There are people trying to sleep over here. Sheesh.
So, anyway, me and K-boy went to the city and everyone seems to be speaking in gibberish. They do not hablan in English and don't even understand it. No capiche or anything, sheesh. And there are like, new people coming in every other day and shit. Man, this is weird. And did anyone else think it's kinda creepy how there's food and shit and yet I haven't seen one damn employee anywhere? Totally creepy, right? I'm trying to find staff, but I haven't found anything. Has anyone been lucky with that?
[ Sirius is clearly fiddling with the communicator, but has no bleeding idea what he's doing with it, talking to himself with mock-merriment as he fiddles. ]
--catching a train could be this difficult? This year, Sirius, this year you're not going to be late, I tell myself! And I'm not, funnily enough. I arrive with much time to spare, time to find a nice compartment - while someone swans about with his head boy badge - and what happens when I open the door? Merlin only knows what happened, I feel as though I might have just popped in to another planet, this place looks ridiculous.
This looks ridiculous- what even is this. What kind of crazy muggle contraption is it? They've a knack for making everything more complicated than necessary, they have- [ it suddenly switched to video, showing Sirius RATHER CLOSE TO THE COMMUNICATOR, head cupped in his hand and looking incredibly bored and irritated. ] -gods, I haven't even charmed a frog down anyone's trousers yet! If this is a prank, I must commend someone for being terribly imaginative, but it's getting rather tedious now. If I miss the train for my final year of school all because some Ravenclaw decided this was their year for revenge, I suppose I'll be charming a lot of frogs down someone's trousers.
[ ..................... more poking, until he sighs, rather melodramatically. ]
[he sounds anything but amused. Not exactly upset, mostly just annoyed. Boredom probably has something to do with it.]
This world does not have much to offer. I have tried to talk to the natives, but they are incapable of understanding anything I say. There isn't much I can learn this way.
How many doors have you opened so far?
[ there's a moment of poke-y sounding movements as Teddy fiddles with his communicator until he realises that it's recording sdfjkls;dsdf ] [ CLEARS HIS THROAT. ]
Uh - considering that the last time I checked, my building's interior was very different to this, could anyone tell me where I am and [ pauses, a little bemused, and continues with faint amusement- ] I don't know, which door leads back to New York or something? "Because you can't leave" is a kind of creepy message to leave someone, y'know.
[ ... he continues, sounding a little exasperated and not 100% serious ]
Alternatively, if you've seen a kind of goofy looking dark haired guy in a cape anywhere nearby - [ he mutters something quietly about Avengers under his breath ] - can you tell me which way he went?
[ There’s quite a bit of shuffling before the occupant speaks, sounding rather harassed and ever so British. ]
Er. Yes, terribly sorry – I suppose this is the way to turn it on. Hullo! Would anyone be so kind as to tell me which city we’re in at present? Ah, it seems I’m a bit lost at the moment.
[The feed begins with a close up of Vera's sketchbook, on which there is a fairly elaborate drawing of the exterior of the hotel with a large question mark in the upper right corner. It lingers on this image for a while before the sketchbook is pulled away, revealing a very nervous-looking girl sitting on one of the lower bunks in her hotel room. She is silent for a few moments, seemingly unwilling to look directly into the camera until she finally lifts her gaze and begins to speak.]
...Please... if anyone can understand this... c-could you tell me where I am?
[There's a slight pause and a shaky intake of breath as she stares back down at her lap.]
...I want to go home...
[A trembling hand trails up to her mouth and she bites down on her fingernail before quickly reaching over to cut off the video.]
[the communicator clicks on! The feed is active, but there's no discernible sound. Maybe just fingers sliding on the communicator and a very soft hum. A few seconds pass before he finally speaks, tentatively:]
Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm not tripping out and I'm even more sure that the door I opened was the back door of my workplace. And I don't know who else is around this piece of shit hotel, but I heard some footsteps. And I also don't know if this is what everyone else is thinking, but this are my thoughts put on words:
WHAT THE FUCK?
|[ESC TO CANCEL] ... SET UP...|
[ ... ] LOGIN:input firstname.lastname@example.org
>>> username accepted
>>>>>> input password
... password accepted!
>>> WELCOME TO SHIFTING DOORS.NET. YOU HAVE  MESSAGE.
>>> READ? > Y/N
>>> WELCOME TO THE HOTEL.
> YOU HAVE [300§] TOKENS.
> YOUR WEEKLY ALLOWANCE IS OF [100§] TOKENS.
> YOUR ROOM IS [ROOM NUMBER]
> LOGGING OUT...
> SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OUT!
>>> HOTELMASTER says: THE HOTEL IS AT YOUR SERVICE.
> PLEASE TAKE CARE OF IT.
> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LEAVE