Derek Hale (iamthealpha) wrote in zombieslogs, @ 2013-09-03 11:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | derek hale, laura hale |
Who: Derek and Laura, possibly Cora later
What: No matter how old Derek gets, he'll always need his older sister.
When: Wednesday
Where: Derek's dreams/subconscious
Warnings: Angst. Language. Disturbing stuff. Did I mention angst?
If he were to pay attention, if he were to focus for at least a minute, maybe Derek would hear his sisters trying to wake him up. Maybe he would hear Lydia's voice. Maybe one of them would convince him to finally open his eyes, and wake up, but he couldn't hear them. At first it was because he was caught in some place between consciousness and darkness, the pain that his body was in drowning out every single one of his senses. Nothing made sense. Nothing existed, except for the pain that was pulling him under deeper and deeper.
At some point the darkness shifted, though, and Derek had found himself in a dark and dusty cellar. He knew this place, knew it more than he would ever admit to anyone, but he didn't move to try to find an exit. Not right away, anyway, because his eyes caught sight of someone on the ground. He could smell blood, the scent so strong that he couldn't even recognize the person on the ground, but he knew how this went. He knew this outcome by heart, he knew who he would find when he approached, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet. His heart felt like it was in his throat, choking the life out of him already, because he knew what was coming. He couldn't face her again just yet. He knew--
"Derek?"
The voice was quiet, barely audible, but he recognized it immediately. It was hard not to. Except, it didn't belong to the person that had been in that cellar with him so many years ago. It didn't belong to Paige, and his resolve to stay where he was crumbled as he rushed over to who was bleeding out on the ground.
"Lydia?" As he took her in his arms, he could feel her blood seeping into his clothes immediately. There was so much blood. Her pulse was weak, and as he took her hand to take away her pain, he just noticed how her body was going limp against him. "No. No, Lydia. Wake up. NO."
Lydia barely opened her eyes, and Derek just held her closer to him. She opened her mouth, trying to say something, but before he knew what he was doing his claws went into her stomach, making her gasp and jerk in his arms. The horrific realization of what he had done dawned on him then, but he couldn't stop it. It was too late, he was always too late. He didn't know what to say or do to fix it, and a pained gasp tangled in his throat. Lydia was dying. She was dying, and it was his fault. He had done it.
He had killed her.
Isn't that always the case? a voice taunted in his head. Aren't you everyone's downfall?
The scent of blood was so strong, but it didn't stop him from burying his face in her hair as he held her body closer to him. No, he wanted to beg. Please, no. He had already killed Paige there, and now Lydia? He opened his mouth, ready to voice an apology that he knew she would never hear and that he didn't deserve, but before he could say it, he heard his name being called out again. It was his name, accompanied by screams of horror that pierced through his heart, and at once he recognized them.
Cora. Laura. His mother.
Resting Lydia down, he rushed out of the cellar and began running in their direction as quickly as he could. It was hard to breathe, his body felt sluggish and heavy, but he kept running. He just kept running, because he needed to find them. He needed to help them.
"Derek! DEREK!"
I'm coming, he wanted to call out, but he didn't. He couldn't. Instead he just kept running, his lungs burning and his body in so much pain that he couldn't even think straight, but he had to try. He had to help them.
As he came up to the Hale family home, he didn't even put together that this was a dream. That this couldn't be real, because Derek had never lived through the fire no matter how many times he wished he had just so he could pay for his mistakes. Somewhere inside his mind he knew that it was impossible for Laura to be there, to be screaming for him because she had never been there in the first place, but as he watched the flames consume his home, he didn't think about it. He couldn't be logical about anything, because all he could hear were their screams and their cries. He could hear their pleas for help.
He needed to get them out. He needed to help them.
Running into the house, he tried to locate them by scent, but he couldn't. He could only smell the smoke, the way they everything was getting destroyed by the flames. It added to his desperation, to the panic that was eating away at him, but he just went deeper and deeper into the house.
Aren't you everyone's downfall?
No. No, he had to save them. That was his mission; he had to get them out. He had to save them.