I just watched the movie based on my baby-daddy's life. It's pretty awesome. Cheri, you still wanna go to college? We could probably afford it, even with the baby. I got the girls from my acquisitions department to keep me company.

Alex, you and me are going to New Orleans tonight, and you're going to get slobbering drunk so I can get drunk by association. And I'm going to flash my even more awesome tits, and it will be unbelievable

I got us hotel rooms and everything. We're staying until next wednesday, so we don't have to rush our partying.

(This voice post is made by someone who is audibly upset, and speaks very broken English. The portions in italics are translated from Creole for the mun's benefit, but are still spoken in that language, so non-French/Cajun pups won't understand half of this)

. . .Damn thing t' work. Jesus Christ why are you being. . . oh. Okay. Um, hello, I think I'm lost. This thing is not at all helpful. Stupid technology. What's wrong with a real telephone? I'm lookin' f'r a man named Alex Rogan. We were separated, 'n' I need him back. Doan got no money t' offer as a reward, but I got a whole ocean o' gratitude available.