bonnie deville (bonniedeville) wrote in worldinherhands, @ 2008-09-09 10:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | logan echolls, tesla echolls |
So. We should talk about this. .situation, or what have you.
I mean, I've been thinking, like, seriously thinking for once in my life. I guess this is a good place to start.
I can't knowingly kill it, or have Her undo it or whatever, it's. .not fair. To him. It's like giving a kid a sucker for a few licks then throwing it in a trash can of dog shit.
I know you're gonna think I'm crazy since it's so early, but, I can feel him, in a way. Living in there. And it scares me to death but. .it's pretty awesome. He didn't come out of the most complicated thing, but he's such a little complication.
But I know fatherhood isn't the easiest subject for you to broach. And it's sweet to say you'll do it for me but it's not fair to you. But at the same time. .I know you can. It's going to take time, and it's not going to be easy but isn't the hard stuff in life supposed to make you stronger? Better? Being good with kids is one thing, being a mother to one is going to be drastically different.
So my thought, well one of them, I think it works best, maybe we can start shopping around for a couple that might want to adopt. Make it clear that nothing is for certain. That way we have 7 1/2 months to figure out if we want this, I mean really want it. If we can't handle it by next summer, we can give him to someone who can't have such a fortunate little accident. But keep it open so we can see how he grows up.
I don't know, I want to know what you think. I know the honesty thing sucks but, this is as much your decision as it is mine. I want us to figure out something so we'll really be happy with it.
I love you. And isn't it funny? We had a fortunate accident, Logan. That's serendipity.