InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Lets get out of here"

anders (nocompromise) wrote in welcomenetwork,
@ 2015-01-03 00:36:00

Entry tags:

anders, cullen rutherford, fenris, hawke / the champion, nathaniel howe, solas, tommy shepherd / speed

~~This won't be at all uncomfortable~~

It would seem there have been quite a few arrivals from Thedas recently. ~~I haven't exactly been keeping track of how many want me dead, but I imagine it is a fair few~~

( nate )

Try not to shoot anyone. Even if they say unpleasant things, I probably deserve them.

( hawke )

Bets on who attempts to murder me first? I know you love a good wager.

( fenris )

How are you settling in here? I hope Isabela and Hawke haven't gotten you into too much trouble.

( solas )

Justice is willing to speak with you. You had said that you wished to, before you would agree to help separate us.

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nocompromise
2015-01-03 06:10 am UTC (link)

Has that not happened yet? It's been days. She must be out of practice.

( Fenris )

Nathaniel Howe. We were in the Wardens together. He is...that is to say...we were...or rather, we are...we were involved, back then. And we are. Again. Here.

I am. As well as I can be.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notaslave 2015-01-03 06:16 am UTC (link)
	She may be harder to follow between worlds than she is to trail around Kirkwall. [Anders] You hated the Wardens, or so you said. But then you kept most important things from Hawke. Howe. That is familiar. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nocompromise
2015-01-03 06:22 am UTC (link)

That must be it. Her bad luck has simply been delayed by the portals.

( Fenris )

I didn't hate the Wardens. Not all of them. The Commander was one of the best women I've ever known. After she left though, things changed. When a group of templars that had joined attempted to kill me, that was when I left. I couldn't really stay after that. But there were still Wardens I held in esteem. They were good people.

Yes, I know. I made mistakes. I am trying to fix it.

You've probably heard of his father. Arl Rendon Howe? Bastard of a man if there ever was. The Commander killed him during the Blight. Nate tried to kill her once. Then he ended up joining the Wardens. The number of friends that woman has who started off trying to kill her...it's baffling.

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	[Anders] notaslave 2015-01-03 06:31 am UTC (link)
	You could have told those you held in esteem about the attempt. You say they were good people now, but then you had barely civil words about any of them. How? What is to be done here? He is an Arl and a Warden and the son of a trator. And you are close. Why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

anders | fenris.

nocompromise
2015-01-03 06:38 am UTC (link)

Because I did not like to talk about that part of my life. I had left it behind. I had abandoned them. It hurt to think about it. But there were some good people in the Wardens. The Commander. Nate. Sigrun. Oghren. Velanna. Justice, of course. But he left with me. There was a girl named Mhairi too, lovely young woman, but she died during the Joining. That happens sometimes.

I am attempting to separate myself and Justice. It has become obvious that our joining has changed him into something different than he was. It is not much, but it is something. Knowing he won't be able to do something like that again would be a relief.

It's complicated. ~~Why does anyone fall in love with anyone~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 06:49 am UTC (link)
	You talked without stopping of what you hated. I would think that hurt to, but it seems not as much. Truthfully this time, or should we wate for another explosion? How? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 06:54 am UTC (link)
	That was a different kind of hurt. Anger was easier to deal with than regret. Truthfully. I never intended for things to go as far as they did. That I did that...that I hurt people like that...it isn't what I want. Because I let him think I died when I left the Wardens. And then he was here and I couldn't exactly hide the truth. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 07:09 am UTC (link)
	It always is. Building more to regret does not help. They did, and you live and they don't. Now all you can do is try to make sense of why, after what was done and give it purpose. You tried and could not? Why? Does he have something to hold over you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 07:16 am UTC (link)
	We have that in common at least. I suppose you're right. What? No? Why would you think that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 07:22 am UTC (link)
	Foolish decisions is the only true mark Hawke choses her friends by. I did not destroy a city. I cut down a village that had taken me in. Our reesons are not the same, but I know living when it is done. He is noble, you are in hiding and you say it's complicated. He could give you away with a word in the ear of someone at the Chantry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

anders | fenris.

nocompromise
2015-01-03 07:30 am UTC (link)

She does have a way of attracting the most troublesome people.

What you did when Danarius still held sway over you is not your fault. But you have to live with it, nonetheless.

No. It isn't like that at all. I apologize, I am terrible at explaining my feelings. I love Nathaniel. And he loves me. We were lovers, in the Wardens. And we are, again, here. It's only complicated because he spent seven years thinking I was dead. It makes things difficult, sometimes. For both of us. I hurt him and I regret it every day. But he forgave me for that and we have a second chance here. Whatever you might think, Nate would never hurt me or let anyone else. I already had to talk him down from killing anyone who might be a threat to me. His protectiveness is as charming as it is frustrating. I'm very sorry for giving you the wrong impression. Feelings are really rather complicated.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 07:42 am UTC (link)
	We would all likely be long dead if she hadn't. I ~~cowd~~ could have tried to refuse and did not. I carry that. You will always carry what you have done to. I see. It just sounded otherwise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 07:46 am UTC (link)
	She would likely be just as dead without us. Or perhaps not. She has the strangest luck. We both just have to figure out how to live with the things we've done and try to be better. I did not intend that. I have never had the easiest time with love. Explaining it is just as difficult. Nate is a good man. He is nothing like his father. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 07:53 am UTC (link)
	She likely would have found others to help her. She has that way. Or at leest not try to do as badly as we have before. If you say so. I have rarely seen a sun who is not much like the father. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 07:58 am UTC (link)
	She certainly does at that. People are just drawn to her. We can do that, at least. Perhaps some sons are like their fathers, but Nate isn't one of them. He wants to atone for his family's actions. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 08:06 am UTC (link)
	It makes me ~~asume~~ assume everyone has interest in her, even when they do not. As you say. I don't know him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 08:08 am UTC (link)
	Just so we're clear, I never had feelings for Hawke. I mean, I suppose that's obvious, what with the long lost Warden lover and all. But I should probably say. You could. He's a good person to know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 08:12 am UTC (link)
	I thought you did. But I thought everyone did. He likes you. That is a likely sign we will not get along. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 08:15 am UTC (link)
	No. Hawke is a lovely woman, but mostly she just reminds me of the Commander. Oh, he thinks I'm an idiot most days. You'll get along fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 08:21 am UTC (link)
	I thought you were enamored of her to. In Varric's version you were. Perhaps then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-03 08:25 am UTC (link)
	Varric's version was wrong on many counts. Neria never took lovers. She was always focused on her objectives. Besides, she was always in love with Cullen. They knew each other back in the Tower. Perhaps. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-03 08:33 am UTC (link)
	Varric's versions always had romance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-05 07:50 am UTC (link)
	That is true. Fenris, if I had a way to separate myself and Justice, would you be willing to help? Not to take part in the ritual, but as a failsafe of sorts. Should something go wrong, I trust you to be able to do what needed to be done. I do not know that the others would. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. notaslave 2015-01-05 08:03 am UTC (link)
	What needs to be done is what? Separate how? Will there be a madened former spirit and curent demon standing next to you? How are you doing this? Does Hawke know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	anders \| fenris. nocompromise 2015-01-05 08:11 am UTC (link)
	I do not know what happened. But there is always a chance with these things that it could go very badly. And if it did, I might need to be killed. Should it go well, Justice would be returned to the Fade. But things do not always go well. There is a mage. Solas. He knows quite a bit about the Fade. And I have spoken to Hawke about it. She may be helping as well. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

anders | fenris. -

notaslave, 2015-01-05 08:16 am UTC

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