InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i have a plan. attack!"

Spike (i_wannadance) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2008-05-07 22:36:00

Entry tags:

jesse custer, spike, zz:status complete

Over your shoulder you have to watch heaven fall into hell (Jesse)
Jack Napier made Spike think.

And yes, the vampire was totally aware that that was really, really wrong. But he was built for something, wasn't he? This body was like this for a goddamn reason--literally a God damned reason. Spike wasn't a nice guy. And all the peace he'd found since getting his soul back, all of the grip he'd gotten on remembering every single face of every single victim, started to evaporate.

There were things he could do, here. Things he could do without that soul. Things the sodding Joker was making him think about. That was the Joker's job, wasn't it? Being the villain?

Spike smiled slightly to himself as he walked. No. No. That was his job.

...with the occasional moonlighting as a knight in shining armor or a babysitter for Dawn Summers, or a protector because she...

She.

Was it all still about the Slayer?
Was he keeping the bloody soul for her, in the hope that he'd be...

What? Be good enough?

Spike scowled, pushing the glass door in front of him open. This place was pretty posh. Gargoyles outside made it feel a bit like home. He scanned the directory on the wall in the lobby and hopped into an elevator, going up.

When he got out of the lift, he rounded a corner, stopped in front of Jesse Custer's door, lowered his head, and knocked.

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i_wannadance
2008-05-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)

Spike smirked.

"Good on them."

Rules? Hm. There was a time Spike hadn't bothered with the rules, at all. And a time he thought only tossers did. The vampire took a very long gulp of his drink and closed his eyes, as if in gratitude. He twitched an eyebrow at Jesse.

"Bet I would, at that, mate." He sighed. "And neither can I, really. Even with a sodding soul, I'd probably like you. I'd respect you," he said, both eyebrows raising, as if to emphasis the point, "which by the way, would have nothin' at all to do with you bein' able to dust me in five seconds flat."

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cowboy_god
2008-05-20 08:44 pm UTC (link)

"Respect don't come from fear, I've never thought." Jesse looked at Spike. Getting an idea that the vampire had come here for more than just a chat. But he'd let Spike bring it up on his own. He probably needed to work up to it. "I think it's more reverence that comes with fear. Respect is it's own thing."

It was nice to hear that he had somebody's respect. He couldn't really think of another time recently that he'd heard such a thing. Fear was a big thing. Or other emotions entirely.

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 07:32 pm UTC (link)

"Right about that, mate," Spike said. He smirked. He was not afraid of Jesse. He knew he should be, but he wasn't. He wasn't even afraid of Buffy. Spike thought a second... what was he afraid of, really?

He took a sip.

Death. In the worst way.
Caring until it hurt.
Pain.

That was really it. No single person, no single being scared him. Maybe that would be different, if he knew what The First was. But he didn't. Spike just knew he'd met a god--Glory--and while she'd beaten the unliving daylights out of him, he wasn't even afraid of her.

Just what she could do to Buffy and Dawn.

"I...bollocks."

He put the glass down and looked at Jesse, full in the face. "I'm bloody losin' it."

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cowboy_god
2008-05-21 07:46 pm UTC (link)

"I think that might be due to the whole soul havin thing ya got goin on." Jesse pointed at Spike with the drink in his hand. "It ain't supposed t'be there, you know it and I know it. Whatever's makin you keep it, I don't think it's the right reason."

There. Well. He'd gone and totally broken the rule he'd just made of letting Spike bring it up himself. But they were sort of dancing around the subject, weren't they. And somebody had to say it.

"We can't be things other people want us to be, just cause they want us to be it."

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 07:59 pm UTC (link)

Whatever's makin you keep it, I don't think it's the right reason.

Spike lowered his eyes and for a second, he felt himself become William Pratt again. He felt it. He felt Cecily's contempt for him, all over again. And he knew Jesse was completely right.

"Dunno what I thought I could do with it," Spike said, eyebrow raising. "Be a better man. Be what..."

...what she wanted?
... what he never got a chance to be?

Spike smirked. "I think you met my reason. For this. Funny, that, innit?" The vampire's nose twitched and he shut his eyes.

"Take it out."

He let the silence hang there.

"If it won't hurt Willow, take it out."

Five dead seconds. And then a word Spike couldn't remember saying and meaning in decades.

"Please."

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cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:09 pm UTC (link)

"MM." Jesse nodded. "Buffy?"

He thought back on the meeting with the Slayer. He didn't think Spike would be entirely too happy to hear what the two of them had ended up doing. It wasn't going to be Jesse who told the guy, either.

Buffy hadn't particularly thought that removing the soul was a good idea. Neither had Willow. But Jesse thought that leaving it in was doing more damage than good.

It came down to a sort of morality issue for him.

All that was sort of moot, though, with Spike's request. Take it out. Nothing mattered above that. Spike wanted it out.

Jesse nodded.

He was pretty sure he knew how to get it out without hurting the witch.

"It might be a touch uncomfortable for you. But it won't hurt nobody outright."

He stood then, looking at Spike, and moved around the back of the couch. He supposed he could have done it from the front, but then Spike's face would have been in his crotch, and that just wasn't comfortable for anybody.

"Ready?" But he didn't wait for the answer to that. No reason to wait for somebody to change their mind.

Jesse placed his hands on Spike's shoulders, dug in with his fingers. It probably felt to the vampire like Jesse was digging in deeper. Down into the muscle and bone. In fact, Jesse's fingers were, in a way. They were going deep, where the soul was.

And he lifted.

With all his might, physical and otherwise, Jesse pulled upward. Willed the soul to abandon the body it was in. After a couple of tugs, he felt it give. It slipped out and Jesse pushed it up and away. Nothing that could be seen, but he felt it there. And he gave it back to where it'd come from.

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 08:22 pm UTC (link)

Spike didn't nod. He didn't need to. There was no way in hell Jesse couldn't see everything he needed on Spike's face. It was all there.

"Don't worry 'bout me, Messiah. Already dead. I can take it."

Spike's head swiveled on his neck as Jesse got up, and he looked over his shoulder at him.

Ready?

Spike stood up a second, eyebrow raised, and took off the duster. He loved the duster. He wasn't letting anything happen to the duster, by divine hand or otherwise. No fucking way. He tossed the coat down and then sat back next to it, spine straight. He didn't nod. Nodding would be pointless. He knew what was coming.

He felt hands on his shoulders and smirked, biting down on his lip. As the hands started to feel like they were ripping him apart, Spike bit harder. And he yelled. Yelled. The neighbors were gonna love this. At some point, it stopped being a yell, and it became a howl.

Spike felt it go.

He felt his soul leave his body, and he felt inescapably lighter and ... better. He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his head on his neck, and the vampire began to laugh.

The laugh was a rumble that was building to a roar. It was something that he knew had, once or twice, stopped a slayer in her tracks.

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cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:26 pm UTC (link)

Satisfied that the soul was gone - and how could it be there in the face of that laughter? - Jesse moved back around to the front of the couch and sat down. Picked his drink back up. Had a look at Spike, and decided it was best to wait until the vampire had it out of his system.

He wasn't any more worried about Spike now than he had been when there'd been a soul involved.

He did wonder how it felt, the difference. But that seemed somehow impolite to ask.

Instead, he just leaned forward, poured more alcohol into both their glasses, and sat back to wait it out.

Likely, he'd have some explaining to do to some of his closer neighbors.

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 08:39 pm UTC (link)

Spike's eyes slid sideways with the movement of the man, resting on Jesse's face as the laughter stopped. He picked up his now full glass and turned it in his hand.

"So, tell me friend...."

He smirked, and the smirk was sideways, too. "...if I tell you I'm feelin' peckish, that dear little William you just sent packin' was keeping the hunger on a leash in a way that only a famine victim might be able to understand..."

He took the drink in one gulp and set the glass back on the table with a clack.

"Would I even get to the door?"

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cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:49 pm UTC (link)

"Ya are what ya are." Jesse said. "I may not like it, but it's yer nature. I learned that lesson from my pal, Cassidy. The one I told you about. Knew he was a vampire, but the first time I saw him feed, it was a little scary. Come to realize here that you really can't help what you need to do. Becoming all godlike has been rather enlightening. So to speak."

He picked up the irony of the words he'd just spoken. And smirked.

"If yer hungry, go do what you gotta do. Just try to not kill anybody. That's all I ask. I ain't gonna police you, but I will stop you from running to amok. I think that's my job now. Find some sick fucker to go after or somethin. Some guy who beats up on women. No innocents if you can help it."

He gave a little shrug.

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 09:04 pm UTC (link)

"Am I, then."

Spike smiled, very slowly and with great pleasure. And he sighed. "Mate. I personally won't come back to bite you in the ass, but I have an inkling that this particular act of compassion and decency and all things merciful may."

Jesse wanted...

Spike scowled.

"Oh... you.... SERIOUSLY? You're kiddin' me, roight? You want me to act like... like... I'm some kinda sodding crybaby Anne Rice character!"

He stood up, indignant, back to his usual self, now. "I cannot read minds, 'ow in the bloody fuck am I supposed to pull that one off?"

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cowboy_god
2008-05-21 09:53 pm UTC (link)

"I have a feeling you can use yer best judgment with that. I mean, it's not really hard to tell when somebody's doin something that's not right, is it? You know the sort, and you know where they generally hang out."

Jesse shrugged. "I didn't say no innocents. I just said try not to. The only thing I just outright said no to was killin innocents. Right? So that shouldn't be all that hard."

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i_wannadance
2008-05-21 10:10 pm UTC (link)

"I am the sort," Spike shot back. He chuckled. "I get it."

Oh, fuck. This was gonna be pretty difficult, wasn't it? No killing innocents?! He had half a mind to tell Jesse the story about the little girl in the coal bin.... and even thinking about that put a seriously improper grin on the vampire's face.

He pursed his lips to wipe the grin off.

"...okay."

Why not lie? Was it a lie if it was possible for him to do what Jesse was asking, and Spike knew he was probably too weak to actually follow through?

"You're lookin' questions at me. You want 'em answered, I'd make me not hungry, ontop'ah what you just did. Otherwise, I plan on barelling through that door at the speed of sodding sound and ripping someone's neck open."

Spike smiled prettily.

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