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Spike ([info]i_wannadance) wrote in [info]we_coexist,
@ 2008-05-07 22:36:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:jesse custer, spike, zz:status complete

Over your shoulder you have to watch heaven fall into hell (Jesse)
Jack Napier made Spike think.

And yes, the vampire was totally aware that that was really, really wrong. But he was built for something, wasn't he? This body was like this for a goddamn reason--literally a God damned reason. Spike wasn't a nice guy. And all the peace he'd found since getting his soul back, all of the grip he'd gotten on remembering every single face of every single victim, started to evaporate.

There were things he could do, here. Things he could do without that soul. Things the sodding Joker was making him think about. That was the Joker's job, wasn't it? Being the villain?

Spike smiled slightly to himself as he walked. No. No. That was his job.

...with the occasional moonlighting as a knight in shining armor or a babysitter for Dawn Summers, or a protector because she...

She.

Was it all still about the Slayer?
Was he keeping the bloody soul for her, in the hope that he'd be...

What? Be good enough?

Spike scowled, pushing the glass door in front of him open. This place was pretty posh. Gargoyles outside made it feel a bit like home. He scanned the directory on the wall in the lobby and hopped into an elevator, going up.

When he got out of the lift, he rounded a corner, stopped in front of Jesse Custer's door, lowered his head, and knocked.


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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-08 09:16 pm UTC (link)
Visitors at his condo were rather few and far between, and the last few of them had been rather violent, so Jesse took a moment to look through the peep hole before opening the door. Something that he wouldn't have ever done previous to coming to The City. Before now, he could take care of anything, literally anything, by himself with just his fists. Now there were all kinds of weird fucking things running around and they didn't get punched out very easily.

He was smiling though, when he finally did open it. He really hadn't been expecting to see this face, but was glad to.

"Well, hey there, Spike. What can I do fer ya?" The Texas in him slipped out an extra little bit today. Maybe because he hadn't had any social interaction in the past half a week or so. He'd not really been outside much.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-08 09:39 pm UTC (link)
The vampire smiled very slowly. That accent was absurd--and for Spike, with his, to think that...

"Maybe you can, at that."

He scratched the back of his head, ruffling platinum blond hair. "This place is having some fun with me," Spike said. He pursed his lips, cold blue eyes meeting Jesse's. "Could use a drink."

He waited a beat.

"Doesn't have to be any red in it, mate. And even if there did hafta be, wouldn't be yours."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-09 10:44 pm UTC (link)
"Got plenty to drink." Jesse nodded. He walked away from the door and kept talking. "What's your poison? Got beer, got J.D., got Jim, got the Russian devil drink. What's the city been doin to ya, havin fun wise? I take it that you don't mean fun for you."

Jesse got out his selection of bottles and waited for Spike's answer.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-10 08:56 am UTC (link)
Jesse walked away and Spike smiled, biting down on his lower lip with incisors that, at different moments, could pierce it clean through. This was gonna be a laugh.

"Not picky, mate," he said. "Anythin' that's not tequila is fine with me."

What the city had been doing to him was far from simple, but if anyone knew that, it was Jesse. This whole thing was a little too Anne Rice for him. He bit his lip harder, remembering that he'd actually met that goddamned poofy idiot of a vampire... but the talking to people for help with inner turmoil caused by being a vampire, that was pure Ricean rot. And he knew it.

"Bollocks," he said, with feeling. He raised his eyes from Jesse's floor to his face, and leaned in the doorway, arms crossed. He wanted to go inside, but he had not been invited.

"Met the sodding Joker," Spike said, with a chuckle. "I used to think, before this soul gig, 'bout what villains really got it right, yeah? And then I used to try... to be better at bein' bad than they were." Spike snorted. "I usually was."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-10 10:48 am UTC (link)
Anything not Tequila. Well, to Jesse that meant that anything definitely hard liquor. So the beer went back. He pegged Spike for a Jim guy, and started to ready a glass for him. Thinking the whole time that the vampire was inside the apartment. Why shouldn't he be, after all. Cassidy had just traipsed around wherever the hell he'd wanted to go, when he'd wanted to be there.

He stopped for a moment at the mention of the name. Jesse had opinions about the Joker. Jack had hurt Max. He'd done a lot of horrible things to the whole Bat Family. He couldn't really approve of Spike hanging around him. Of course, it was Jesse who wanted Spike without a soul, and he wasn't Spike's fucking dad, so he wasn't about to tell him who he could and couldn't go out and play with.

Jesse shook it off.

"I don't know ya very well, Spike. And I ain't seen ya do evil. But I can tell you from experienced that you'll be hard pressed to be better at bein' bad than the Joker. He's a whole new level of... well, everything."

He went back to making their drinks.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-10 11:30 am UTC (link)
Spike almost outright laughed at the situation. Almost. Jesse had all the powers of God and yet had no bloody idea Spike couldn't come inside? Ha. That didn't say much for God, now did it?

Jesse's movements stopped, and the scent of him changed, just a little. It was almost like fear, but not quite. "There a nerve there?" he asked, both eyebrows raising.

I don't know ya very well, Spike. And I ain't seen ya do evil. But I can tell you from experienced that you'll be hard pressed to be better at bein' bad than the Joker. He's a whole new level of... well, everything.

Jesse started moving again, and Spike smirked. "I don't think you're wrong," he said. "Joker's a pack of crazy and bloody violence." He bit his lip again.

You and me, blondie, we're going to have some fun. Yes we are. You and me, nobody will ever expect that. And that is where the fun is.

"Even without a soul, I'm not scarier... no. No. I could be. I suppose that depends on who you ask. And how hungry..."

The second and most important? Whatever bug it is that you've got up your ass? You're going to have to get it removed. Then you come find me, Spike. And you and I? We'll have a hell of a time.

Spike hit his head back on the wall, and it thudded. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"'m startin' to think you're right about... things," Spike said. He let his head slide down the wall a little bit and stared at Jesse's back as he poured things into glasses and mixed things. "The immense bloody crack-up continues. Ringside seats are cheaper by the second."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-11 12:51 am UTC (link)
"Jack and I have had some dealings in the past." Jesse said, bringing the glasses out to the living room, where he expected Spike to be sitting. But the vampire wasn't there. "It's not that I've gotten over it, really, but I'm doin' this new thing with the idea of balance in the world. People like you, like Jack, there's a reason for it. It's why I don't think you havin' a soul is such a hot idea."

The glasses were set down and Jesse moved through the condo, looking for his conversation partner. "One, I don't honestly think that anybody can be scarier than that man. You ain't seen half of what he's done. And what you have seen, it ain't half as bad as what he's gotten up to since he's been all normalfied. You can make the scary vampire faces. I saw 'em when I met that girl Buffy. But makin' faces, doin' your vampire thing? I'm sorry, I know you like bein' scary and all, Spike. I know ya do. But that motherfucker's done some shit that would likely make even you throw up in your mouth a little."

He found Spike still standing at the door and frowned a little at him, putting his hands on his hips.

"Now why are you still standin' there?"

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-11 10:20 am UTC (link)
Spike craned his head as best he could, to follow Jesse's movements from where he was, a bemused smirk on his face, both eyebrows raise. That worked for a while. But it only got him so far.

The invisible field that held him out until such time as Jesse said he could enter smacked him in the head when he leaned too far, and it felt like hitting a brick wall. Spike tsked, listening to the man inside talk, and knowing full well that his friend was still completely sodding oblivious to what was going on in the doorway.

"I don't 'throw up,' mate," Spike quipped, chewing at the side of his face in thought.

Jesse was looking at him now, expectantly, and it was all he could do to not burst out laughing. Hands on hips like he was a little bloody teapot, too.

Now why are you still standin' there?

Spike took a step back from the door and smiled, then nodded his head twice, and lowered his head, raising icy blue eyes and narrowing them at Jesse.

"Because."

A beat. "You didn't invite me in."

Spike's voice lilted appealingly on that sentence, and he couldn't help it. There had been years of practice, making that particular series of words palatable to even the coldest, least trusting heart.

Then, to illustrate the point, Spike raised his right hand and tried to reach through the doorway, tried to extend his hand to Jesse as if to shake it. The invisible field between them made sure that his hand only got to waist-height, then was hit down as if hitting a wall.

A wall that Jesse couldn't see, but Spike could feel, all the same.

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-15 04:23 pm UTC (link)
Jesse made a bit of a face. "You mean, that's actually real?"

Of all the things in vampire lore that could have been real or fake, this was the most rediculous thing to be real. That Spike should have to be invited in.

It made Jesse wonder at the different sorts of vampire and what they could and couldn't do.

"Sorry, I just assumed that you could come and go as you please. Cassidy doesn't need permission, so I thought that's how it was for all y'all."

Jesse shook his head and waved his hand. "C'mon in."

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-15 09:10 pm UTC (link)
You mean, that's actually real?

Spike pursed his lips and raised one eyebrow. "No. 'Course not. I'm just amazing and deserve a bleedin' Oscar. OF COURSE IT'S REAL."

He smirked and shook his head. God must not have a blessed clue about every single thing, after all.

"You think we just made all this stuff up because it was funny?"

C'mon in.

Jesse invited him in, and almost audibly, the field that was holding him out collapsed and Spike stepped inside. He sighed loudly and dramatically and nodded at his friend, then made his way right to one of the drinks and picked it up.

"You know the rest of that rule, yeah?" he asked, raising the glass and taking a long gulp. "You ever want me out, there's mojo to be done. Words won't do it anymore. Invitation expires," he said, sitting down, "when you do."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-19 08:41 pm UTC (link)
"Hey," Jesse shrugged. "I've meet other vampires who don't have'ta worry about things like that."

He took Spike into the living room, where he'd set down the glasses of alcohol.

"I've learned to assume nothin' in this place. Cause just cause one person does things one way, don't mean that the next is going to follow the same rules."

Jesse sat down and picked up his booze.

"And I ain't gonna worry about you comin in here. If I want ya out, you'll be out. Can't see a situation in which that'd happen though."

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Spike smirked.

"Good on them."

Rules? Hm. There was a time Spike hadn't bothered with the rules, at all. And a time he thought only tossers did. The vampire took a very long gulp of his drink and closed his eyes, as if in gratitude. He twitched an eyebrow at Jesse.

"Bet I would, at that, mate." He sighed. "And neither can I, really. Even with a sodding soul, I'd probably like you. I'd respect you," he said, both eyebrows raising, as if to emphasis the point, "which by the way, would have nothin' at all to do with you bein' able to dust me in five seconds flat."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-20 08:44 pm UTC (link)
"Respect don't come from fear, I've never thought." Jesse looked at Spike. Getting an idea that the vampire had come here for more than just a chat. But he'd let Spike bring it up on his own. He probably needed to work up to it. "I think it's more reverence that comes with fear. Respect is it's own thing."

It was nice to hear that he had somebody's respect. He couldn't really think of another time recently that he'd heard such a thing. Fear was a big thing. Or other emotions entirely.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 07:32 pm UTC (link)
"Right about that, mate," Spike said. He smirked. He was not afraid of Jesse. He knew he should be, but he wasn't. He wasn't even afraid of Buffy. Spike thought a second... what was he afraid of, really?

He took a sip.

Death. In the worst way.
Caring until it hurt.
Pain.

That was really it. No single person, no single being scared him. Maybe that would be different, if he knew what The First was. But he didn't. Spike just knew he'd met a god--Glory--and while she'd beaten the unliving daylights out of him, he wasn't even afraid of her.

Just what she could do to Buffy and Dawn.

"I...bollocks."

He put the glass down and looked at Jesse, full in the face. "I'm bloody losin' it."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 07:46 pm UTC (link)
"I think that might be due to the whole soul havin thing ya got goin on." Jesse pointed at Spike with the drink in his hand. "It ain't supposed t'be there, you know it and I know it. Whatever's makin you keep it, I don't think it's the right reason."

There. Well. He'd gone and totally broken the rule he'd just made of letting Spike bring it up himself. But they were sort of dancing around the subject, weren't they. And somebody had to say it.

"We can't be things other people want us to be, just cause they want us to be it."

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Whatever's makin you keep it, I don't think it's the right reason.

Spike lowered his eyes and for a second, he felt himself become William Pratt again. He felt it. He felt Cecily's contempt for him, all over again. And he knew Jesse was completely right.

"Dunno what I thought I could do with it," Spike said, eyebrow raising. "Be a better man. Be what..."

...what she wanted?
... what he never got a chance to be?

Spike smirked. "I think you met my reason. For this. Funny, that, innit?" The vampire's nose twitched and he shut his eyes.

"Take it out."

He let the silence hang there.

"If it won't hurt Willow, take it out."

Five dead seconds. And then a word Spike couldn't remember saying and meaning in decades.

"Please."

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:09 pm UTC (link)
"MM." Jesse nodded. "Buffy?"

He thought back on the meeting with the Slayer. He didn't think Spike would be entirely too happy to hear what the two of them had ended up doing. It wasn't going to be Jesse who told the guy, either.

Buffy hadn't particularly thought that removing the soul was a good idea. Neither had Willow. But Jesse thought that leaving it in was doing more damage than good.

It came down to a sort of morality issue for him.

All that was sort of moot, though, with Spike's request. Take it out. Nothing mattered above that. Spike wanted it out.

Jesse nodded.

He was pretty sure he knew how to get it out without hurting the witch.

"It might be a touch uncomfortable for you. But it won't hurt nobody outright."

He stood then, looking at Spike, and moved around the back of the couch. He supposed he could have done it from the front, but then Spike's face would have been in his crotch, and that just wasn't comfortable for anybody.

"Ready?" But he didn't wait for the answer to that. No reason to wait for somebody to change their mind.

Jesse placed his hands on Spike's shoulders, dug in with his fingers. It probably felt to the vampire like Jesse was digging in deeper. Down into the muscle and bone. In fact, Jesse's fingers were, in a way. They were going deep, where the soul was.

And he lifted.

With all his might, physical and otherwise, Jesse pulled upward. Willed the soul to abandon the body it was in. After a couple of tugs, he felt it give. It slipped out and Jesse pushed it up and away. Nothing that could be seen, but he felt it there. And he gave it back to where it'd come from.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Spike didn't nod. He didn't need to. There was no way in hell Jesse couldn't see everything he needed on Spike's face. It was all there.

"Don't worry 'bout me, Messiah. Already dead. I can take it."

Spike's head swiveled on his neck as Jesse got up, and he looked over his shoulder at him.

Ready?

Spike stood up a second, eyebrow raised, and took off the duster. He loved the duster. He wasn't letting anything happen to the duster, by divine hand or otherwise. No fucking way. He tossed the coat down and then sat back next to it, spine straight. He didn't nod. Nodding would be pointless. He knew what was coming.

He felt hands on his shoulders and smirked, biting down on his lip. As the hands started to feel like they were ripping him apart, Spike bit harder. And he yelled. Yelled. The neighbors were gonna love this. At some point, it stopped being a yell, and it became a howl.

Spike felt it go.

He felt his soul leave his body, and he felt inescapably lighter and ... better. He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his head on his neck, and the vampire began to laugh.

The laugh was a rumble that was building to a roar. It was something that he knew had, once or twice, stopped a slayer in her tracks.

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Satisfied that the soul was gone - and how could it be there in the face of that laughter? - Jesse moved back around to the front of the couch and sat down. Picked his drink back up. Had a look at Spike, and decided it was best to wait until the vampire had it out of his system.

He wasn't any more worried about Spike now than he had been when there'd been a soul involved.

He did wonder how it felt, the difference. But that seemed somehow impolite to ask.

Instead, he just leaned forward, poured more alcohol into both their glasses, and sat back to wait it out.

Likely, he'd have some explaining to do to some of his closer neighbors.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Spike's eyes slid sideways with the movement of the man, resting on Jesse's face as the laughter stopped. He picked up his now full glass and turned it in his hand.

"So, tell me friend...."

He smirked, and the smirk was sideways, too. "...if I tell you I'm feelin' peckish, that dear little William you just sent packin' was keeping the hunger on a leash in a way that only a famine victim might be able to understand..."

He took the drink in one gulp and set the glass back on the table with a clack.

"Would I even get to the door?"

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 08:49 pm UTC (link)
"Ya are what ya are." Jesse said. "I may not like it, but it's yer nature. I learned that lesson from my pal, Cassidy. The one I told you about. Knew he was a vampire, but the first time I saw him feed, it was a little scary. Come to realize here that you really can't help what you need to do. Becoming all godlike has been rather enlightening. So to speak."

He picked up the irony of the words he'd just spoken. And smirked.

"If yer hungry, go do what you gotta do. Just try to not kill anybody. That's all I ask. I ain't gonna police you, but I will stop you from running to amok. I think that's my job now. Find some sick fucker to go after or somethin. Some guy who beats up on women. No innocents if you can help it."

He gave a little shrug.

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 09:04 pm UTC (link)
"Am I, then."

Spike smiled, very slowly and with great pleasure. And he sighed. "Mate. I personally won't come back to bite you in the ass, but I have an inkling that this particular act of compassion and decency and all things merciful may."

Jesse wanted...

Spike scowled.

"Oh... you.... SERIOUSLY? You're kiddin' me, roight? You want me to act like... like... I'm some kinda sodding crybaby Anne Rice character!"

He stood up, indignant, back to his usual self, now. "I cannot read minds, 'ow in the bloody fuck am I supposed to pull that one off?"

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 09:53 pm UTC (link)
"I have a feeling you can use yer best judgment with that. I mean, it's not really hard to tell when somebody's doin something that's not right, is it? You know the sort, and you know where they generally hang out."

Jesse shrugged. "I didn't say no innocents. I just said try not to. The only thing I just outright said no to was killin innocents. Right? So that shouldn't be all that hard."

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 10:10 pm UTC (link)
"I am the sort," Spike shot back. He chuckled. "I get it."

Oh, fuck. This was gonna be pretty difficult, wasn't it? No killing innocents?! He had half a mind to tell Jesse the story about the little girl in the coal bin.... and even thinking about that put a seriously improper grin on the vampire's face.

He pursed his lips to wipe the grin off.

"...okay."

Why not lie? Was it a lie if it was possible for him to do what Jesse was asking, and Spike knew he was probably too weak to actually follow through?

"You're lookin' questions at me. You want 'em answered, I'd make me not hungry, ontop'ah what you just did. Otherwise, I plan on barelling through that door at the speed of sodding sound and ripping someone's neck open."

Spike smiled prettily.

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[info]cowboy_god
2008-05-21 10:13 pm UTC (link)
"Nah." Jesse waved a hand toward the door. "It's okay. I know yer hungry."

He looked at Spike for a second, and then spoke again. "I'm not askin ya not to be bad, Spike. Just stay away best ya can from slaughtering schoolgirls. I don't want t'change you none. I just have to keep some kind of balance. And I don't want to have to do any smiting on people who are my friends."

Again, he motioned to the door. "Go get your dinner."

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[info]i_wannadance
2008-05-21 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Spike hesitated, just for a split second. Was he waiting for an invitation? No.

And if Buffy got hold of him, or Fray... Spike could always explain that God said it was okay... Ohhhhhhh, this was gonna be good....

I'm not askin ya not to be bad, Spike.

"Good man," Spike said. He nodded once, already half to the door. And everything else Jesse said registered, processed, and beared response. "I don't go after the school girls. The school girls come after me."

It was true. It'd been true for years now.

Go get your dinner.

He could've kissed Jesse. But that would be strange.

With eyes that were utterly devoid of the light that'd been inside them when he walked into the apartment, Spike looked a smile at Jesse. He wondered if Jesse could feel the difference, because he was what he was. If he could feel the change, register it somewhere like he knew other demons and vampires could. He'd known right away what happened to Angelus.

So had Darla. And Dru had, for damn sure, before either of them had even laid eyes on him.

He raised and lowered both eyebrows and raised his left hand as a wave, and left.

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