Daimon Hellstrom (daimonhellstrom) wrote in wariscomingcom, @ 2011-07-01 23:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | daimon hellstrom, trish wellington |
[Filtered against baddies]
So I’m sitting here having burned through about half a bottle of Ketel One and nursing a nice buzz and I’m wondering something. I’m wondering something because we’ve got people here that might actually be able to answer the question and so I thought, hey, maybe instead of just sitting here thinking I should start typing. This was probably a bad idea, but whatever, I'll regret it with the hangover tomorrow morning. So, without further ado.
God.
Yeah, it’s gonna be one of those. Buckle up, people.
So God. I’ve always wondered about Him, y’know? I mean, I accept that He has to be up there because hey, Son of Satan, I know dad’s real and if he’s real, well, his Dad’s gotta be real too, right? Sidenote, does this make me God’s direct grandkid? Am I Jesus Jr., The Unholy Edition? If so, I think I really should be able to turn water into rotgut. It’s only fair, man. Except it’s a little different, because I can look at stuff, news articles and weird phenomena and stuff and go, “Oh, hey. That was dad. I should probably put this in the file.” Not that I ever did anything with it but hey, I had a file. I can’t do that with God, and lately – in my world, please note that you should probably put “in my world” in front of every single thing I say in this whatever it is – there’s been stuff where He maybe could have done something.
Like…here, let me tell you a story.
In my world, there was this guy. Let’s call him R. Now, R got some bad genes. Not, like, my bad genes, nobody in the world has genes that bad, but by normal standards he got boned in the genetics roulette. He’s a scrawny little bastard, a mousy little thing that could probably break in a stiff breeze. Now at first all seems well, he’s a scrawny little bastard but he’s also a bonagoddamnfide genius, so hey, at least he has something going for him. From what we’re told, he didn’t have much else, but at least he had that. So he rockets through pretty much every school you can imagine. Realistically he should be like one of those nerd celebrities. You know what I mean. People treat Hawking like he’s a damn rockstar half the time, so really, you guys all know what I mean. But that’s not what happens. This guy gets put to work trying to make a modern Captain fucking America and he still gets a tiny little lab in the ass end of some facility and an NDA so tight the dude can’t even publish a paper. Still no respect, but he keeps going, right? He has to keep going, because fuck, what the hell else is he supposed to do?
So then this Matthew McConaughey looking motherfucker comes along and he is a nerd celebrity and he gets all the glitz and glam because apparently he’s working on something to make people grow. To his credit the guy does it, but it turns out he’s a narcissistic abusive fuck who beats the shit out of his wife and then tries to spray her with Raid after she goes all tiny bug form to get away from him. So nobody cheer for this dude. He’s an asshole.
Anyway. R is toiling away in this dude’s shadow, this cocky asshole that is more on the adventurer side of scientist-adventurer. I’m not saying he’s not smart, but everybody in the know says R is leaps and bounds above this guy. So other people start showing up and R is still just toiling away and then oh, they find the guy R was trying to remake frozen in a block of ice. (Sidenote: What the fuck is that shit? Are we in Encino Man now? How does that even work?) So R is suddenly a whole lot less important. Instead of being in charge of making this great thing that would revolutionize genetics and the world, he’s basically now demoted to being the genetics equivalent of a Xerox. Whatever, the dude is doing the best he can, and then finally snaps because, apparently, everybody was joking around and decided tearing this dude down was the best way to get a laugh and oh, he stumbles in on it.
But this guy is smart and he is also fucked up so he mixes Cap’s blood with the shit he was working on that once upon a time turned him into a jolly green one man army and then he shot it all up into his arm. The guy basically took a giant hit of supermeth because deep down, all this scrawny little bastard has ever wanted to do was follow in the footsteps of Steve “Scrawny Little Bastard Until He Got A Hit Of Supermeth” Rogers and now the people who are supposed to be his only friends in the world are basically fucking him over for their own enjoyment. So then he goes on this huge crazy out-of-control rampage and kills over eight hundred people. I’ll say it again, over eight. HUNDRED. PEOPLE. Some of them, he ate. It was pretty much the worst thing that could have happened at the time.
Now, please understand. I am not saying this guy is not to blame for what he did. That’s not what this is, so don’t go there with me because I’ll just laugh.
My question in all of this is: Where was God? I’m not saying He should’ve sent a squadron of angels down to beat the shit out of the Hulk, don’t be fucking ridiculous, but really He could have just sneezed and nudged the genetics just a little. Maybe he could’ve just sneezed and let Satan’s kids die on the vine. Instead of turning him into cannibal!Hulk, maybe it just could’ve done, I don’t know, nothing. I get not letting it work as intended, because Nick fucking Fury with an army of Caps is the worst goddamn thing for the world, but why not have it just…do nothing? You’re telling me He can’t do that? I get that human life, in the grand scheme of the cosmos, probably isn’t the biggest thing, but this isn’t like one, or even one hundred, we’re talking about. This is over eight hundred. That’s a big number even way up there. And nothing good really came out of it, either, so I can’t say He was doing the whole “out of tragedy, light” thing. So I guess what I’m asking is, what’s the deal? It’s not like He couldn’t have done this covert-style. I’ve seen that Futurama episode, I get the whole deal with letting people wonder whether you’ve done anything at all, but…why didn’t he do it there? Why didn’t he just terminate us both in the womb?
I don’t know. Am I the only one that thinks of this shit? I mean, besides old dead dudes in philosophy books or whatever.
(OOC: Cut for length. Also, fair warning, some language and unpleasantry ahoy.)