InsaneJournal

[Filtered against baddies]
What does the world need less of?
me

Are you artistic?
I can mix a hallucinogenic cocktail so potent you’d call it art. It’d probably kill you if you couldn’t heal yourself fast enough, though. That’s why it’s fun.

Have you ever yelled at a telemarketer?
yeah. Guy shouldn’t have pressured me about getting an estimate on hardwood floors.

Weirdest pet you have ever had?
none.

Worst childhood memory?
ossus. I woke up to the sound of orbital bombardment and by the time I got out, I was already feeling people cut down around me in huge swaths. There were so many Sith. We’d always been trained with Bane’s Rule of Two, but Krayt’s order had so many it was just a sea of red death. I still can’t be around burning meat without breaking out into a cold sweat because of how much the Temple reeked of it. I remember thinking only two over and over again like that would have changed anything. Everyone, all of the padawans and younglings and even some of the knights were all looking at me like I was supposed to know what to do so I just started cutting my way toward the square, because I didn’t really know what to do but I couldn’t let everyone down. I’m a Skywalker, I’m supposed to be everyone’s hero and I had to be for everyone else even though it was the most terrified I’d ever been and I just wanted to hide behind someone else. I’d never killed a living being before. I don’t think I was ready but I guess I didn’t have much of a choice. We started off with a group but by the time I’d even made it down two hallways it was just me and Shado and a bunch of younglings. I saw Azlyn go down, I thought she was dead but it was so confusing, there were so many corpses and so much death that even I couldn’t tell who was dead and who wasn’t. By the time I got to the square I was climbing over piles of bodies with faces I recognized, people I loved just dead all around me. And then I ran. I didn’t want to, but my dad made me. He made me run with the younglings but I couldn’t just leave him, I couldn’t, none of it made sense anymore and I just couldn’t give up the one last thing that did. So I went back out there and I killed more Sith and Imperials and then he made me run again, made me run and take my dying Master and just as I got in, just as I thought maybe there was hope he died and I felt it, I felt it worse than anyone else because he was all I had left and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I broke and I couldn’t let my Master go so I went to his corpse in the shuttle and without even realizing it I went darker than I’ve ever been, even when I was killing, and I punched death in the fucking face and took my Master back. It made me sick inside and I wanted to just rip my skin off and let it all bleed out of me but I couldn’t, we still had to escape, but really I just wanted to kill the Sith-Imps first. I wanted to blow myself up with them. I should have, but at the last minute I chickened out and hit the eject button. Ended up with a front row seat of the Sith finishing off everyone on Ossus while I floated out in orbit, hidden by all the debris. Then I had to go back down to show the pirates that picked me up where all the artifacts were knowing I was graverobbing people I loved.

If I had to pick one moment, feeling my dad die in the Force and knowing if I’d been stronger I could’ve helped him. Or seeing his dead corpse there and knowing that all the stories were bullshit and that the Force was with the bad guys. I guess you could call it losing my faith.

Have you ever gone to private school?
The Temple on Coruscant.

Two weird facts about yourself?
I was addicted to death sticks before I was 12.
I haven’t felt safe anywhere since I was 11. Not even here.

Have you ever asked someone out on a date?
if you define a date as casual sex, yeah. If not, then not really.

Are you an ass?
I’m worse.

What kind of computer do you have?
Right now, iPad. Easier to type on with sliced up wrists still healing from muscle damage.

Do you have any animals?
Nope.

Have you done something bad today?
Today? No.

What physical feature do you get complimented on?
I don’t. most of the people I know are guys, and the girls I’m with are never about anything more than the wham, bam, hope you weren’t expecting me to be there when you woke up. Blue compliments me sometimes, but it makes me feel weird, so I try to ignore it.

What's the dumbest invention?
Krayt’s stupid face.

Have you ever been in an ambulance?
Not one of yours.

What type of drunk are you?
I dunno, let’s ask the people that were at my party. Oh, right. Homicidal.

Do you hold grudges?
One great, big, giant one, and about a million little ones.

Name 4 things you always have with you?
my dad’s lightsaber, cash, usually at least a couple pills, and the carbine my uncle Nate modified for me.

What did you do yesterday?
Hallucinated the ghosts of a planet all blaming me for their deaths. Spent another night reliving Ossus, this time without the extra blonde guy.

Do you like yourself?
If by like you mean hate, sure.

If you could punch one person, who would it be?
Darth Krayt. Darth Nihl. My dad for being too damn noble to run and me for being too damn fucked up to be noble. Sorry, it’s a long list.

What would you do if a leprechaun jumped out of the bushes and stole your wallet?
Shoot him and take my wallet back.

Favorites:

80's cartoon?
that super Mario bros cartoon you guys had. It was cute that somebody somewhere thinks the good guys actually win.

Drink?
if it has booze in it, it’s there.

Color?
Red.

Cookie?
this is a stupid question

Gum?
what the fuck does this matter?

First:

Prom date?
Proms weren’t really a thing. My first “date”, I guess, was Azlyn Rae. Years later I was too scared to let her go so I lied to my uncle about her not wanting to die from terrible lightning wounds so he’d put her in a robot suit. Knowing me worked out real well for her, huh?

Job?
Padawan. Or if you mean like a job-job, drug mule for Rav.

Love?
Azlyn Rae.

Car?
I don’t do cars. Was thinking about a bike, before. Something fast enough to tear me apart and leave a big red smear if I crashed it.

Sport you played?
I guess sparring, if you can count that.