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Tweak says, "Killing you with kindness."

Damon Salvatore had everything he ever wanted (someonehasto) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2014-03-29 17:21:00

Entry tags:

damon salvatore, katherine pierce

Who: Damon Salvatore (Open to others)
What: Contemplation
When: Backdated to last night
Where: Rosemarie's house, followed by wandering the streets of Lawrence
Warnings: References to sex and violence

Damon stared up at the ceiling, and wished he could sleep. But like every night, all he could do was replay the moment that Elena ripped his heart out, over and over again in his mind. He'd tried his best to avoid the pain. To channel it into violence like he normally did. But, killing Aaron hadn't done a thing to relieve his anger, just reinforced Elena's opinion that he was a monster. That he would never change. So, he found a different outlet for his frustration.

As he thought about her, the vampire curled up against his side stirred slightly. He looked down at her, his face softening. He'd been true to his word, and done his best to spend the last few days blowing her mind. He'd been so happy to see her alive here. He'd missed her. Rose saw him for who he was, and accepted him. Unlike Elena who wanted to turn him into Stefan. He sighed, and slipped quietly from the bed. He needed to think, and didn't want to disturb her.

He wandered the streets of Lawrence. The fresh air cleared hi head a bit. And eventually he found himself outside Katherine's house. he stood there, hidden in the shadows for a moment. She'd hit a nerve the other day. About them being similar. About only being able to change for himself, not anyone else. So, he'd lashed out. Taunted her about being dead. Except, what he'd never tell any of them was he'd mourned her. He still loved her, probably always would. And that was why he hated her. And it didn't help, that every time he looked at her, he saw Elena either. He did sort of regret being so mean. She'd given him advice, and he repaid her like that.

He growled, angry at himself, and turned to leave. He was hungry, and blood bags weren't going to do the trick this time.

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believesownlies
2014-03-29 07:42 pm UTC (link)

Katherine had been in a bit of an odd mood lately, and she supposed some of it came as part of the empathy you felt when the person you loved was going through something. Something that, really, you pesonally couldn't understand, but you tried really hard to because you cared about them. Because Elijah confided in her. Despite every reason he had not to, he trusted her. And she tried to be there for him, to help where she could, to comfort him how she could. But the guilt he felt for not stopping their father and all the things he'd done to Klaus and the others...it was eating him alive, all those wounds freshly lanced open since their short stint at reliving their childhood and Katherine had no idea how to help him with it all. For most, it had been a break of sorts, even for Katherine it had been. But for some of them, it was everything but.

And Damon was back in Lawrence again. That was...interesting, she supposed. He didn't remember being here before, so that meant he didn't remember that they'd worked things through. That before she'd been sent home and come back herself, they had been together again. But she supposed that wouldn't have mattered much anyway. Would have only made it worse, since she'd left him. Again. But things back home, things with Elijah, they had been so...right. She couldn't skip the opportunity with him, she just couldn't. So she'd broken it off with Damon when she'd returned so she could be with Elijah. She'd caught some hell for it, but she didn't care. It was the right thing to do, the honest thing. And it was the very opposite of what she would have done a few years ago.

But...this Damon didn't know any of that and he came from a future where he was positively giddy that she had died. That had been a bit of world-shattering news. He'd said back home, the vampire blood wouldn't take. She couldn't understand why it had been different here, unless it was the work of the Seal, but back home she couldn't be turned back and she died. Of old age, no less. The whole thing was sick. Damon's amusement, his taunting. And knowing it was his precious little Gilbert girl that had done it to her in the first place. Oh, if Elena ever showed up again...

She had stepped outside to get away from the ridiculous pair that were that of her best friend and her cranky doctor boyfriend. She adored Regina and Katherine knew that she loved him, but House was just so damn annoying sometimes and she just had to get away from that sometimes. Katherine tipped her head slightly. She'd heard something, but couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. "Who's there?" she called out, immediately on the defensive as she rounded to the front of the property, just in time to see an escaping profile of the intruder. "Damon?" she scrunched her face up in confusion.

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someonehasto
2014-03-29 11:26 pm UTC (link)

As Damon turned to leave, he heard her voice call from the side of the property. He paused, heart leaping into his throat. Elena! And then he remembered where he was. Katherine. He didn't think he could deal with her right now. The cocky and sarcastic mask had slipped, and he didn't want her to see he cared. It was easier that way.

But, it seemed his hesitation was his downfall. Because, as he started to leave again, he heard her say his name. He tried to disguise the pain that had moments ago been so evident on his face, and just about managed to pull off a lopsided smile. "Hello, Katherine."

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believesownlies
2014-03-30 05:41 am UTC (link)

"Damon, what are you doing here?" She asked, wasting absolutely no time at all in cutting straight to the point. Considering what he'd told her... she couldn't possibly fathom why he would be outside her house. Oh, she hoped this wasn't some kind of twisted...Elena replacement therapy bullshit. She had seriously had enough of that whiny little bitch ruining her life.

She wasn't sure what to expect from him when he answered. The only thing Katherine knew she could count on was that, whatever he said, it would definitely be sarcastic, demeaning, or both. This was Damon after all and he had a reputation to keep, right? She just hoped that tucked behind the inevitably snarky response, she might find a hint of the real reason.

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someonehasto
2014-03-30 11:37 am UTC (link)

Why was he here. He really didn't know. Guilt probably. It had been incredibly hard and painful to let go of the fantasy he'd had of Katherine Pierce. So, in it's place was anger and hate. It was easy to hate her, easy to make people think he hated her.

"I was walking, Kitty Kat." There was a small part of him that wanted to apologise for taunting her. A small part. But, he didn't want to have to deal with whatever bitchy reply he'd get back. And, well, there was his reputation to consider. Couldn't go around actually showing he cared about people. It was better to be the bad guy, so Stefan could be the good guy. "Why, you didn't think I was here to see you, did you?"

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believesownlies
2014-03-30 01:47 pm UTC (link)

"Really? And that's all?" She eyed him for a moment after receiving that nearly flippant little answer. She doubted that was all, but then what proof did she have that it was anything else? "Hard to believe there was no ulterior motive, here, Damon, one way or another."

She crossed her arms over her chest, lips pursed just slightly as she really looked him over. She had talked to him once or twice since he'd shown up here, but she hadn't actually seen him in the flesh. He was different than the Damon before him. He was...rougher. More like she remembered. This version of him, well, he screamed Heartbroken Damon all over. She actually felt bad for the guy. Denied and thrown to the wind by the same face, time and again. When would he learn? Petrovas weren't the girl for him. "She really wrecked you, didn't she?" But Katherine's voice wasn't mocking or acidic, rather it was soft and almost sympathetic.

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someonehasto
2014-03-30 04:37 pm UTC (link)

He really hated the way she still made him feel. He raised an eyebrow feigning disbelief as she accused him of having an ulterior motive. Of course he had an ulterior motive, he almost always had one. He very rarely told anyone his real reasons for anything. "If I did, I would tell you now would I."

He noticed her studying him and frowned. He hadn't seen her since he'd gotten here, not as an adult anyway. She seemed happier here, contented almost. Relaxed in a way he'd never seen her. Elijah obviously made her happy, and he couldn't help but resent it. Resent that she'd found happiness.

The softness in her voice almost broke him. It was a tone he'd so rarely heard from her, and was far to reminiscent of Elena. The mocking smile slipped. Damn her, for knowing him too well. For seeing through his facade. "Don't, Katherine. I can't..." His voice cracked, and he just shook his head. He didn't trusty himself to continue.

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believesownlies
2014-03-30 06:44 pm UTC (link)

"Fair," she said with a slight nod as she stepped closer to him. There were still a good several feet between them, but she moved slowly to close that space. "I wouldn't really expect you to show your whole hand or something." she said, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

But that smirk quickly faded when he spoke again. The way his own mocking little smirk had fallen, the way his voice broke, it actually made her feel a little twinge of guilt. Because whether she was the cause of the immediate feeling, ultimately the way he was, was largely due to her treatment of him in the past. And as much as she'd probably do everything the same if she had the chance to do it all over, that didn't stop her from feeling that tiny bit of guilt for it. "I'm not," she said quietly, shaking her head, "I'm not going to mock you or rub your face in it. I just...I know that look. I know it way too well and I also know how it feels. And I'm sorry. I really am. Because you're not a bad guy, Damon, and you're definitely no monster." If either of them were to be classified as such, it would definitely be her.

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someonehasto
2014-03-30 11:49 pm UTC (link)

"Sure I am. Someone has to be the bad guy. To do the things that need to be done."
His voice was full of self-mockery. He'd made himself the bad guy, the one who didn't care. The one who was always sarcastic, and mocking, who was willing and able to be violent at the drop of a hat. Who solved his problems with bourbon and violent outbursts. No wonder Elena gave up on him. He was a lost cause. No chance of him changing.

"She always made excuses for me. Defended my actions. But, there are no excuses. I enjoy killing. I do it because I like it, there isn't always a reason." He closed the gap between them, putting his hands gently, but firmly on her shoulders. "Tell me how that doesn't make me a bad guy, Katherine. It sounds like the actions of a monster to me."

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believesownlies
2014-03-31 12:33 am UTC (link)

"Maybe," she shrugged, "maybe not. But nobody ever said it had to be you, either."

"The love of the kill is your nature, Damon, and there's nothing wrong with taking in all of what you are. Yeah, they'll look at you badly for it, but the thing is, it's no different than humans eating animals. They have whole slaughterhouses for the ones lower on the foodchain. It's the natural order. Not like we want them to die out or anything, but sometimes it just feels good to...indulge." She tried to ignore the double entendre to that last statement. Katherine stared up at him, a simple, tiny smile on her lips. "Because you weren't always this person, Damon. You were different once. This," she vaguely waved a hand in his direction. "this is my fault. Originally, at least. You never would have been so viscuous if I hadn't..." she let the words fall there. They both knew the past, she didn't need to say it.

Katherine gently twisted out of his grasp, "I'm sorry, I-" as much as it had always been Stefan before, she would be lying to say she never felt anything toward Damon. Her eyes dropped away from him and she wasn't really sure what to say except, "I'm the reason they call you a monster, Damon." but there wasn't a drop of self-pity or a hint that she was looking for sympathy, rather she was just stating a fact.

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someonehasto
2014-03-31 04:36 pm UTC (link)

"Who else could it be. Stefan?" He laughed.

"You know that, I know that. But, Elena? She tries to make excuses to soothe her own conscience about loving me. Comes up with reasons. But, it's all lies." He turned away from her, "and then eventually she gave up. Realised that I wouldn't, or couldn't change."

Damon couldn't believe she was apologising. Accepting fault. And yet, she was only partially to blame. "No!" He said quietly. "You're not. I am." He tilted her face up to look at him. "Yes, I blame you sometimes. But, don't take my choices away from me, and claim them as your own. I am responsible for my own actions. My own decisions." He shook his head, stepping away from her. "I'm sorry I taunted you before."

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believesownlies
2014-03-31 06:46 pm UTC (link)

"You have to admit, when he's a Ripper, he's worse than either of us." she said with a sort of facial shrug. Difference was, Stefan hated every bit of that. He was genuinely good and not just when the opportunity arose for personal gain.

"It's because she's...vanilla, honestly. And...she doesn't fully appreciate what she is, she runs from the darker desires because she's still so very, very human in nature. And she can't accept you for all that you are, the good and the bad, otherwise she wouldn't make excuses." And okay, maybe some of that as biased and a little more just Katherine wanting to take the opportunity to rip on Elena a little, but she felt every bit of that was truth. It was in her eyes, at least.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked softly, her eyes locked on his. "You go around blaming me for everything all the time and when I own up, you're telling me it's not. You're incredibly frustrating sometimes, Damon." she shook her head. "I'm not saying your choices and actions aren't your own, but things would've been so different for you if not for me and you can't deny that."

She gave a small shrug of her shoulders, "Doesn't matter." It was a lie, a big one, but she didn't care. Better to brush it off than show it hurt.

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someonehasto
2014-04-03 01:50 pm UTC (link)

"And that is why we were bad for each other. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." He shrugged. Not sure why he was telling her all of this. Just, being young had affected him more than he'd let on. His younger version seemed to have a thing for doppelgangers as well.

"Because, I saw what you were before. How you were, before Klaus." He frowned, "Because maybe I've decided to be honest with you, for once. Be honest with myself. I, like who I am. I like being a vampire." He smiled.

He shook her head at her lie. "If that's the way you want to play it, Kitty Kat."

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believesownlies
2014-04-03 08:01 pm UTC (link)

"Of course it hurts. It always hurts when you care." she shook her head. That was one lesson she'd learned a long time ago and maybe it was part of why she was how she was. Everything else aside.

Katherine shook her head, "I'm not that girl anymore, Damon, and I haven't been in a really long time. She got lost awhile ago. I've tried, you know, I've tried to find the girl I used to be but I think I've just come to the conclusion she's long gone and I'll never really get her back." Something she hadn't actually even mentioned to Elijah, eternally hopeful that his sweet Katerina was still buried beneath the bitchy survivalist exterior. Sometimes, she just didn't have it in her to break his illusions. "And there's nothing wrong with that, there's really not, despite what some people might say."

"Oh, stop knowing when I'm lying, Damon." She said, her tone annoyed but also teasing.

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someonehasto
2014-04-04 04:45 pm UTC (link)

"And that's why I tried to stop. After..." He didn't see the need to finish that sentence. They both knew what happened. "But, short of switching it off..." He shrugged.

"We are what life has made us. Both of us." He grinned. "But, the reminder that you weren't always an evil vampire bitch, may have made me briefly feel more understanding." And besides, if he was stuck here, with her always around, clearing the air didn't seem such a bad idea.

"I've known you too long, Katherine. I generally expect what comes out of your mouth to be lies. It's easier." He replied, his tone light and teasing.

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believesownlies
2014-04-05 07:17 pm UTC (link)

"It's not worth it," she said, shaking her head, "Turning it off doesn't fix anything, Damon, trust me. Everything is still there, waiting for you whenever you turn it back on." She knew from experience, personally. "Plus, you lose all the good too."

"It...was kind of nice to be reminded I wasn't always the way I am," she agreed with a slight nod. "But you're right, we are products of what life handed us."

She gave him an incredulous look. "Hey, I pride myself on being brutally honest, thank you very much."

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