Kol Mikaelson kills for sport. (itchtokill) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2014-03-01 04:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | elijah mikaelson, kol mikaelson |
Kol Mikaelson [Open to Elijah Mikaelson]; Musing over some things
Friday afternoon, Feburary 28, 2014; Outside around the Mikaelson property
TBD/In progress
Truth was, he had a lot to think about.
Kol had a lot on his mind lately. Some of it was less important than other bits, but it all bundled up in one giant clusterfuck of a mess in his head and he needed some time to just...decompress. Even if it would only be for a fleeting moment, it would be enough for now.
He had taken to wandering the property his family's home sat on. And that was part of it, wasn't it? Home. He was really, legitimately calling this place home these days and that was strange, to say the least. He couldn't quite pinpoint when that had happened, but he could feel it now, clearer than he had in years. This place, crazy and mix-matched as it may be, was really home to him now. He had a life here. He had his family here and they were, mostly, on at the very least descent terms. He had friends. He had Crowley. He had things he'd always assumed would only be a distant dream and things he'd never even so much as considered. By all accounts, Kol was actually really comfortable here.
But he wasn't really happy. Not that happiness had ever been much of a concern to him, bar where his family were concerned. More than anything, he'd been focused on selfish pleasure. But happiness, true happiness wasn't something he'd ever worried about. But here...things were different. Or they were supposed to be. So far they hadn't been, really, and that bothered him.
Everywhere the Mikaelsons had gone, all the times they had moved and started over had been a chance for things to be different. And every time, things always ended up the same. People feared them, hated them because of that fear, and plotted against them because of it as well. No one was ever true to their word when it came to the Mikaelsons. No one ever gave them the benefit of the doubt they allowed others. All because of blinding fear and hatred. And as different as he had hoped it would be here, the people of Lawrence had so quickly proven him wrong with their threats and contingency plans.
But Kol had seen an opportunity. A way to try and make some semblance of peace. And maybe it wouldn't work for all of them, but if just some of them could look past the arrogance and the fear and the hate... maybe it would be worth it. That was why he'd made the post that he had, asking for opinions, for suggestions, for simple honesty. And he had actually gotten responses, made it through each one without arguing. Truth was, he had a lot to think about after that.
Kol still hadn't mentioned any of this to his siblings, or even Crowley. He just wasn't ready for that conversation yet. He knew Rebekah and Caroline would be supportive, Elijah would be proud, but Nik and Crowley. He wasn't sure. With Nik, his first assumption would be some kind of mockery, but his brother, on more than one occasion, had surprised him since they had been in Lawrence, so he wouldn't put it past him to do so once again. And Crowley...well, he had no idea how he'd take it at all. And all of those unknowns...they made him uncomfortable, to say the least. But he supposed the only thing that would make that go away was to bite the bullet and tell them. And he just wasn't quite ready yet.
So instead, he just wandered the Mikaelson property, now on the way back toward the house from the stables, lost somewere inside his own head, trying to figure out where to go from here.