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Tweak says, "Bullet in the brainpan squish!"

Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost (frostandsnow) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2011-06-15 22:23:00

Entry tags:

ruby winchester, sam winchester

Who: Ruby & Sam Winchester
What: A letter arrives
Where: Their Bedroom
When: Early Morning
Rating: Probably low but TBD
Status: In Progress

Ruby heard the door, just a little noise, someone dropping a letter off and quickly finished making Sam's coffee before practicly running to the front hallway. There it was. Just an envelope, something so simple but she held on to it like it was the most precious thing in the world as soon as she'd put the coffee down and bent to pick it up. The puppy Sam had bought for her seemed just as eager to play with it as she was so she had to move him back just to get at the letter. The address was handwritten and she knew. This was it. And it was a hell of a time for it to arrive. Sam was still in bed, sleeping off the various injuries he'd gained, from where he wouldn't tell her but she knew it was more than just his fight with Dean. He was too badly hurt. She hadn't questioned when she'd found him. She'd just helped him to their bed, dressed his wounds. Made sure he was comfortable. It crossed her mind only once that her blood would heal him. It wasn't worth it. Especially for the sake of why they'd gone to find a doctor in the first place. It wouldn't do either of them any good to start down that road if in a hypothetical future they'd start trying for a kid. They hadn't had one in the future but then they hadn't had the animals either. They hadn't been so very domestic as they'd become. As domestic as a Hunter and his demon wife could be at any rate.

She turned the envelope over in her hands a few times not sure if she wanted to open it or not. Her gut told her it wasn't good news. If she could have had kids normally they'd really have been Brangelina by now. Hordes and hordes of kids. They had a lot of sex. Something would have happened by now. So in her heart she knew what the contents would say. The doctor had been kind if a little wary of her. Told her she'd done something amazing just by walking away from hell. He'd done tests. Sam had left the room when she'd needed to give blood, under much protest mind, he'd been calling in from the hall asking what was going on. Oh so protective. The Doctor had done what he needed to do and told her he'd have news in a few days.

And it seemed he did.

Ruby finally nodded, grabbed the coffee from where she'd left it on the table near the door, and moved toward the stairs quickly tracing the familiar path to the room she and Sam shared. The room was dark and the puppy bounded along behind her, but waited at the door. Fluffball was curled up on the pillow she had not long vacated. Ruby moved instead to sit at Sam's side of the bed waking her husband with a soft kiss and looking over the injuries to his face with a critical eye. He was stable still. He'd heal. He was strong. "Baby its here, the letter from the doc." she told him handing over the envelope and his coffee as soon as he was awake enough to take them. "I'm pretty sure its a no, I mean...it'd be impossible if I could and we hadn't yet but maybe there's something we can do. He said he'd look up some stuff, let us know. But if I can't I mean...thats okay isn't it. We said it wouldn't change anything..."

It wouldn't, she knew that. Sam loved her too much to let it change anything, and she was expecting not to be able to. But there was a small part of her. A tiny part of her that said maybe, maybe it was just coincidence that she hadn't gotten pregnant. Maybe she could and maybe someday... Nah there was no point. The puppy jumped at her legs seeming to sense the anticipation in the room and Ruby reached down to pet him, it didn't do much to take her mind off any of it.

"So...do we open it."

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frostandsnow
2011-06-25 05:25 pm UTC (link)

She supposed that was true, or maybe it’d been selfishness, maybe she should have let him kill her that day, but she’d needed to see if there was a chance for them. If the reason she’d given up on her faith and her promises to Azazel would ever actually go anywhere, and it had. It had given her everything she could have imagined and more besides. “I fought back cause I needed to know. I had to know that you loved me back and then I couldn’t walk away, even the guilt I was starting to feel, even all that darkness, wasn’t enough that I was willing to give you up to pay for everything I did. I love you too much and maybe that’s selfish but that’s all it is. Is it enough to look back and feel bad? They wouldn’t think so, those people. I didn’t think about it like a second chance. I guess I didn’t think about it beyond being with you. And maybe I do feel like I don’t deserve happiness because of all that. It’s hard Sam”

Thinking about it meant no, meant he didn’t want to do it, meant he’d come up with a dozen reasons, each more sensible than the last as to why he couldn’t do it. And it made Ruby so sad that she couldn’t help him be what he wanted deep down. That there was no normal for them, bothered her more than anything else. And it seemed like the dream of it happening eventually was taking blow after blow. But she wasn’t gonna push him, there was no sense in that, he said he’d think about it and she’d try and convince him there was a way to do it. Maybe there was something someone could do. Maybe there was a way around it. She’d keep looking because he deserved to have a shot at his dream. She was already living hers.

“Okay, but you have to actually think about it and not just humor me, cause I know you, and I know this is what you do. But yes you’ll always have me. No matter what happens, no matter where life takes us I’ll always find my way back to you. That’s what’s important.” Ruby knew it was the best she was likely to get so she took it. It would do for now. And he said he was happy, but then part of her wondered if he’d say that to her anyway. “You have to promise me you’re actually happy just hunting, because I know your past, and I know how you work. So promise me you’re content and promise me you’ll think about it. That’s what I need from you.” Oh he was everything to her too, but there was nothing she wanted in life that she could have. She wasn’t like him, she didn’t have childhood dreams of aspiring to be better, or if she did, she didn’t remember them. He deserved to remember his.

Meanwhile though she’d just amuse herself by how traumatized he was by the guy love discussion. It was adorable. “Right right, my bad, just guys who like to hang out, that's all. That’s perfectly fair. Very manly and not becoming of guy love at all, and no no, I’m in no way planning to run away with Needy. Never happen.” she told him, all mock innocence and teasing. When she helped pull him to his feet she immediately steeled herself to help him walk, his arm wrapped around her, he was hunched over more cause of the height difference than anything else, maybe a taller vessel would have made more sense but she thought he liked her all little and petite. She’d grown too used to this body to give it up and it was holding out really well. When he promised and when he kissed her she tilted her head lifting on her toes to kiss him properly, there were no deals involved and she had no intention of making him do what she said with any other way than with her own personal charms.

“And now I can do this.” she told him when she finally broke the kiss. “Now downstairs. We’ll attempt pancakes and not burning the kitchen. It’ll be a bonding experience.”

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