InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Howl at the moon! Arrooo!!"

Shannon Rutherford (ballerinadreams) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-04-06 00:05:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 03, location: pharmacy/liquor store, shannon rutherford, shizuka domeki

Day Three - Daybreak
Who: Shizuka Domeki and Shannon Rutherford
Where: The Pharmacy
What: Looking for an inhaler and anything else that might provide useful
When: Sun up
Rating: PG-13 for language
Status: Complete

Between having frozen her ass off all night - hey, it had seemed like a good idea at the time to get so cold she'd never be able to sleep - and being under so much stress, by the time Sam woke up the following morning, rendering Shannon's shift complete, she could barely breathe at all. She croaked a hurried explanation to Sam as to where she was going and breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth as calmly as she could manage while writing to Domeki that she was leaving. She hoped he'd be awake.

The sunlight was a nice surprise and it felt amazing against her bare arms and shoulders. The tank top wasn't so bad in this weather. A little chillier than it had been on the Island, but she barely noticed because it felt infinitely warmer than she'd been feeling the past two days. Shannon took her time, keeping a slow pace and occassionally stopping entirely to gasp and wheeze after looking around to make sure no one could see or hear her. If she didn't find an inhaler in the pharmacy, she'd be so screwed at this point. Domeki would have to go fetch the Doctor or Martha or something, because she wouldn't be able to walk anymore by then. Panic would only put her into full blown attack mode and she'd probably be too close to passing out and crying to do anything for herself. She really, really hoped it didn't come down to that.

When she reached the thrift store, she was still alone and she frowned as she leaned against it, exhausted. It wasn't a hideously long walk, but it had felt like miles and miles. Hopefully he was up, around, and would show up in a few minutes. The sooner the better. ...and he'd better fucking keep the knowledge of her asthma to herself. Domeki would be the first person to learn Shannon's weakness, but he would also be one of the last. He and the Doctor had exclusive knowledge and the Doctor had already promised to keep it to himself. There'd be hell to pay if Domeki told, that was all Shannon knew. He'd be sorry, that was for sure. That was Shannon's biggest secret and she'd almost spilled it for the whole town to see. Stupid move, but she wouldn't make it again.

Shannon looked up the road and then down it again. If he wasn't there in another fifteen minutes or so, she'd leave without him and drop him a line to have him change course, complete with directions on how to do it. It wasn't like she was impatient (okay, she was, but that wasn't the problem this time); she just didn't know how long she could hold out before the panic started to set in and made things exponentially worse.

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throughyoureye
2009-04-05 11:59 pm UTC (link)

Domeki was awake long before dawn but this was nothing new for him. From the time he was a small child, he had been expected to wake early enough to help his grandfather with the various chores before school and, even after his grandfather had passed, he had kept the routine. Still, the situation wasn't the same here - in this situation, he had hardly been able to sleep and much of the night had been spent sorting through the various goods in the store. He had been disappointed - but not really all that surprised - to find that there was nothing resembling even a basic bow even amongst the various sporting goods but he had at least been able to change out the bloody clothes he had been wearing upon his arrival. The clothes he had found - a pair of slightly worn and faded jeans and a moss green tee - weren't an exact fit but they were more than good enough considering.

He made a point to check his journal to ensure that none of the morning's plans had changed and, though he did not linger overlong, he again found himself silently wondering over how what appeared to be basic paper journals could be interconnected. The idea of some enchantment or spell did occur to him but he placed the thought easily aside; he'd have enough time to suss out these mysteries later when there wasn't someone waiting on him.

As soon as he had stepped outside of the store, Domeki found his face titling naturally up into the welcome warmth of the early morning sun and he closed his eyes briefly. He had always found the early sun on his skin to be a good, refreshing sensation and it was no different in this place; if nothing else, it was a much needed reminder that there were some blessings to be found amongst all the pains of this captivity and he was glad enough for it.

Though his usual intention would be to simply enjoy the early morning, Domeki forced himself to turn his attention back to his surroundings and his attention soon fell upon a young blond woman leaning against the store. He took a moment to observe - long enough to notice the distress which her asthma was causing - but he soon hurried over to join her.

"I hope you weren't waiting long," he called as he came to pause at her side. Again, he watched her for a silent moment and he couldn't quite keep his expression from turning to something a touch doubtful. "Are you going to be alright to walk to the pharmacy? If you don't think you can make it..."

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ballerinadreams
2009-04-06 12:28 am UTC (link)

Shannon closed her eyes and focused her breathing.

"This isn't just the asthma, it's anxiety. It's in your head. Yes, you know your medicine's run out and you're panicking. Shannon. Shannon, look at me. We can fight this. Breathe in through your nose. See? Got your breath? Keep doing that. That's perfect."

Somehow, Jack had managed to calm her down when she had her first attack on the Island. She wished like hell he was here now to look her in the eye and say it all over again. But, he wasn't, so she let the memory of his words in his voice play in her head and she breathed in through her nose, trying to ignore the crackling sound in her throat and let it out again through her mouth in soft rushes that stung in her chest.

The wheezing had calmed enough that it wasn't audible, but she could still feel the rumbling by the time a voice broke her concentration and she looked up. Shannon shook her head in response to his first question and waved a dismissive hand as she nodded in response to his second.

"One sec," she gasped, pushing off the building and starting to walk, gesturing for him to come along. She wasn't going to send some kid who didn't even read English into a pharmacy looking for Albuterol. It wasn't a short walk and if he grabbed the wrong thing, that'd be even longer she'd have to wait. Besides, she knew what they looked like; she'd had asthma for her whole life. The box holding the inhaler was just as familiar to her as the inhaler itself, which was to say, she'd know it a mile away.

A few minutes down the road, she felt her chest open a little and she slowed down, not wanting to aggravate it again. Pushing her sweaty hair off her face, she looked over at him. "It just...takes me a minute," she explained, pausing for another labored breath in between. "To calm...down. Don't...tell anybody...okay?" she asked, looking him in the eye for the first time since he'd appeared by her side.

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throughyoureye
2009-04-06 01:33 am UTC (link)

"Mm. I have no intention of telling anyone about anything," Domeki responded naturally with the slightest hint of a shrug. It wasn't in his nature to gossip about the weaknesses of others and he wasn't about to start now - especially not with something so personal. "Your secret is safe with me."

He wasn't entirely sure why she felt as if she had to hide her asthma, especially when it was obviously a life threatening concern, but he wouldn't press the issue either; Domeki tended to go by the credo of respecting the need for individual privacy and he felt no need to pry too deeply into this young woman's psyche - especially not when she was in the middle of struggling for breath. It was a bit unfortunate that Domeki knew very little on the issue of how to soothe one who was having an asthma attack but he did know a bit about distractive relaxation techniques which could work to at least calm some of the symptoms - provided that Shannon was willing to work with him instead of just brushing him off.

"Take as long as you need to calm down. I'm in no particular hurry," The words probably seemed a bit bizarre, considering the current circumstances, but that was really just his way of letting her know that he would stay with her for as long as this took. Tipping his head back, Domeki let the warm light of the early sun play over his features and he continued to speak, his voice steady and calm as ever. "The sun feels so good this morning, doesn't it? It's such a welcome change from the weather yesterday. You can almost feel the warmth press in through the top of your head and spread down over your face. It's a good relaxing feeling, hm? On your shoulders and chest, too, just melting away all the tension that sits there like ice slowly thawing from a window..."

Domeki continued to walk as he spoke, knowing that they really did need to make it to the pharmacy sooner rather than later, but he also continued on this same vein of conversation - his voice steady, calm, quiet all the while just as he had been taught.

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ballerinadreams
2009-04-06 01:57 am UTC (link)

Looking down, Shannon nodded her appreciation rather than vocalize it to save herself some breath. She hoped he meant it. It wasn't lost on her that he was walking beside her, still, even when she'd slowed down as much as she had.

She gave him a sidelong glance when he said he was in no hurry. Well I am, she thought miserably. Although when he tipped his head back and started going on about the weather and the warmth of the sun, Shannon recognized what he was doing.

Dipping her head slightly, she smiled a little. He wasn't Jack, but his voice had that same soothing timbre to it and he might not be telling her what to do to calm down, but he was trying in his own way. A complete stranger she'd met a minute ago was trying to help her without being condescending about her weakness or inability to calm herself. She kind of almost wanted to cry, but that would only exacerbate the issue, so she refrained and returned her focus to Domeki.

He wasn't wrong about the sun, even if it was nothing more than a diversion tactic. It did feel good. It was a welcome change. And, yeah, she could feel the sun's rays warming her from her head downward. "Keep...talking?" she asked. Her voice was quiet and hopeful, but not desperate or pleading. Shannon hoped he would continue, but she'd been okay before he'd started and she could keep trying to calm herself without his help if he didn't want to.

The burn in her chest and throat was gone. There was still a rumbling, crackly sensation at the back of her throat, but she was able to at least breathe through her mouth again. So, Shannon picked up the pace a little, assuming that Domeki would follow suit.

The sooner she could get an inhaler, the better. Calming down was a lot easier when the cure was in her hand; when a burst of acidic mist into her mouth was all she needed to magically cure what ailed her and the source was within reach, she'd feel a hundred times better. With that in mind, she pushed herself a little faster. Yeah, she'd seen the map, so she knew where the thrift shop was in relation to the pharmacy, but she hadn't really walked the distance; it didn't look far on paper...but that was on paper.

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throughyoureye
2009-04-06 02:52 am UTC (link)

Domeki was rather glad to see that his effort was paying off. He had been concerned that guided imagery wouldn't be even close to enough to draw Shannon's mind from her current worries and he wasn't sure what he could do as a back up; he was woefully unprepared for this sort of medical emergency and his background allowed only for so much improvisation - so it really was a relief to know that he was able to be useful even in the slightest bit.

As her pace increased so did his own - but he was always careful to simply match her rather than to try to rush her ahead; though the need for the medicine was very obvious, it would do her little to no good if she didn't make it to the pharmacy and he wasn't sure how effective it would be if he had to carry her the last little bit.

"It almost feels like the light from the sun completely surrounds you, hm?" Domeki continued speaking at her request. He kept his voice as low and soothing as he possibly could but his attention was on the road ahead - both giving her privacy in her moment of weakness and keeping an eye out for the first sign of the promised pharmacy. Of course, it was to be expected that the pharmacy here wouldn't resemble any he had known at home but he assumed that he would know it when he saw it. "As if it covers every inch of your body with a warm and comfortable light and the very warmth of that light brings soothing relief. Just as how the spring sun can pierce the hard winter soil so this sun can work gently through skin and clothes to melt the tight tension in muscles and organs, allowing it to drip down and away as wax melts down a candle."

Domeki paused a moment to draw a deep breath of his own and he found himself reflecting on how well this sort of exercise had worked for him when he was but a small and weak child - he could almost picture his grandfather speaking to him of these things, drawing his young mind away from the troubles of the body...

Shaking his head, Domeki turned his attention back to the street ahead but any continuation of this exercise in guided imagery stopped as soon as he spotted a sign which he thought read 'Pharmacy'. Lifting a hand, he pointed toward it. "I can't read that from here - does it say Pharmacy or am I misreading it?"

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ballerinadreams
2009-04-06 03:15 am UTC (link)

"You should...be a...poet," Shannon said, coughing herself to tears when she tried to laugh. She stopped walking and gripped his shoulder to stop him and hold herself upright as she essentially had to start all over again, feeling badly that his effort was wasted. He had a way with words; she couldn't help it. A moment later, the coughing ceased and she let go of him, back to breathing through her nose and out her mouth as she tried to re-process what he'd said.

Shannon caught her breath again and focused on the way the sun felt on her bare arms. So much better than the goddamn rain. She started walking again and didn't need his words anymore once she saw the old-fashioned sign looming a little ways up the road. Just as she was about to announce it, he asked if that was it. Smiling brightly, Shannon nodded and then looked over at him. "That's it," she confirmed. Thank God, went unsaid.

It didn't take much longer to reach the building and while she could still feel that uncomfortable pull in her lungs as she breathed, the fact that she was minutes away from complete relief was relaxing enough that she pushed on again, speeding up a little more. Shannon wouldn't even allow herself the chance to spare a thought to the idea that the place would be cleaned out and wouldn't have what she needed. She hadn't gone inside and had no idea, but she wasn't going to entertain the possibility.

Pulling the door open, Shannon let herself inside and felt instantly more tense for the fact that it was far darker on the inside than it had been on the outside. The musty smell of mold and dust made her wrinkle her nose and she made a mental note to take every inhaler they had in stock so she wouldn't have to come back. "Help me look?" she asked, unlatching the little door that allowed access behind the counter and heading to the other side. "It'll...be a white...box with a...red label," she said, back to pausing in between for slow, deep breaths. "Albuterol," she added. "Little white...plastic thing with...a metal...container jammed inside."

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throughyoureye
2009-04-06 01:45 pm UTC (link)

"You're the first person to ever tell me that," Domeki responded to her suggestion that he look into becoming a poet with a slight grin. It was a bit absurd of a thought, he supposed, since he rarely spoke so much at once and he really wasn't doing much more than remembering the things which he had been told - but the suggestion was welcome and kind, regardless. He naturally allowed Shannon to hold onto him as much as needed as she calmed herself and he never showed any real sign of impatience - just calm waiting for her to return to a more regular breathing pattern. "Maybe I should start by composing odes to the natural wonders of interdimensional ghost towns..."

It was dark humor, and perhaps not entirely called for, but this was the sort of thing which seemed to come naturally to Domeki. Still, he didn't have much time to reflect on the appropriateness of his speech for the pharmacy laid just ahead and the much more important matter of finding Shannon's medicine was at hand. He followed her back through the musty darkness of the place and passed through the small door to the open room beyond. He nodded to both her question and her description of the medicine box - but he couldn't know if she'd see it in the faint light.

"Albuterol in a white box with a red label," he repeated mostly for his own sake. Domeki noted, as he began to sort through the various boxes, that the labels were all very difficult for him to read but he thought he could make out some of the characters - enough that he could dismiss a good deal of them offhand, at any rate. It seemed like an eternity until his hand happened to fall upon a small white box with a red label. Pulling this from the shelf, he quickly fumbled open the top and he sighed relief when he spotted a white plastic contraption inside.

"Here, I think I found something," Domeki called. Standing, he walked over to Shannon and held the box out in offering. "Is this what you meant?"

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ballerinadreams
2009-04-06 02:02 pm UTC (link)

In spite of herself, Shannon allowed herself a smirk and an airy huff in place of laughter at his suggestion that he start by composing odes to the dump they'd been, well...dumped in. "Cute...our first...inside joke," she teased weakly, giving him a small smile.

As she searched through the labels on the boxes and pill bottles in the aisle she'd wandered into, Shannon tried to keep calm when she saw nothing she was looking for. Anxiety medication, anti-depressants, pain killers, sleep aids...nothing she recognized as helpful for her asthma. But she heard Domeki and looked over as he approached holding out a box that Shannon had known as part of her life since she'd been little.

Eyes widening, Shannon threw her arms around him in a brief, frantic hug and then stepped back, snatching the box and ripping it open. "Yes! I could...fucking kiss you!" she gasped as she dropped the box and shook the inhaler. Taking the cap off, she shoved the mouthpiece in between her lips and took a puff, using her free hand to hold onto the shelf nearest to her. Shannon held her breath and closed her eyes, feeling her head begin to swim slightly and she let the breath out in a huff before repeating the process.

Then, she paused, frozen in place as she tried to breathe normally, testing herself to see if it worked. In her excitement and relief, she hadn't bothered to check the expiration date on the box and if it was old, she'd need to double her dose. But, it worked and her lungs opened up again immediately. Shannon let out a sigh of relief and gave Domeki a tired, grateful smile. "Jesus, you're my hero," she laughed, holding up the inhaler briefly before bending to pick up the discarded box. She deposited the inhaler back inside and let out another sigh, looking around the pharmacy and chewing her bottom lip as she squeezed the box in her hand.

"Shit, I forgot my journal...Martha had a list," she muttered, looking back at Domeki. "Do you have yours with you? She gave me a list of things to get and bring back," she explained as her eyes moved away from him again to scan the back of the counter. Grinning slightly, she moved past Domeki and grabbed one of the plastic baskets back there. That'd work to hold everything, she supposed. "Oh," she added, looking over her shoulder at him again. "Where'd you find this?" she asked, holding up the box again. "Was there more?"

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throughyoureye
2009-04-06 02:57 pm UTC (link)

Domeki grinned at the briefly frantic hug and he suddenly found himself rather glad that he had offered to come along with Shannon on her hunt. There was something intensely pleasant in being able to take even a bit of control in as seemingly helpless situation as this and it was also comforting to know that there was what appeared to be a fairly well stocked pharmacy at hand should the worst befall any of them. It occurred to him that it likely wouldn't hurt to take an inventory of the store's stock, but that could likely wait for another time - one when there wasn't the pressing matter of a severe asthma attack.

"Kissing can come later - once you know you have the breath for it," Domeki joked easily but his expression was cautiously concerned as he watched Shannon make use of the inhaler. Absently, he realized that he didn't know of any back up procedures should the medicine not work but that only led to the fact that he didn't know if asthma medicine could go bad - or sit so long that it'd become entirely ineffective. If such a thing could happen - and had happened - he really didn't know what he could do for Shannon. He'd probably have to hurry to find one of the doctors and even that could take a bit too long...

Domeki released a breath he hadn't quite been aware that he'd been holding once it became evident that the medicine had worked and that Shannon was again breathing normally. He allowed his own relief to show in a slight smile as he crossed his arms and leaned back against one of the tall shelves. "That's me - a hero poet. I am glad that the medicine worked, though."

At the mention of needing one, Domeki nodded and tugged his journal from the back pocket of his jeans. Idly, it occurred to him then that it might not be a bad idea to look into finding a pack of some sort so that he wouldn't have to abuse the few pockets he had but he dismissed the thought - it could wait until he returned to the thrift store. "Here. Do you want me to read it or would you rather see it yourself?" He held out the book in offering - using this same to point to the section of shelf where he had earlier found the inhaler. "I found the box over there. I think there were a few more just like it but I didn't take the time to look at them very closely."

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ballerinadreams
2009-04-06 03:21 pm UTC (link)

Shannon gave Domeki a grin and a playful roll of her eyes. "You know, you remind me of someone from back on Craphole Island," she told him. The grin faded away and she chewed her bottom lip as she looked away from him again.

Domeki's comment about the kissing and the jesting tone in his voice made her think of Sayid when they'd been working on her shelter. The teasing he'd given her about being a spinster spending her Saturday nights alone at home tying knots and how she'd suggested that they get some rope and spend a Saturday night alone to see what happened. Even as she felt a tug on her heartstrings and a downward draw of her mouth into a frown, she could feel herself blushing and was glad when he broke her thoughts with another joke.

"Hero poet extraordinaire," she agreed with a renewed smirk, happy to be able to put up her wall again and keep her feelings and thoughts to herself. "You and me both, buddy," she added. "Thanks again for finding it."

When Domeki pulled out his journal, Shannon reached out for it. "I will, if you don't mind," she replied, "just because I know right where it is - I made a doodle on the page so it would stand out. I imagine that'll show up in your journal too." She took the journal slowly in case he changed his mind about handing it over at the last minute, giving him the option to take it back without having to snatch it from her.

"If there's more, I want them all," she said, completely aware of the selfishness she was displaying. Even if she wasn't here for as long as the inhalers would last, she didn't know how long it would be before she could get back home and even then, when she'd have enough money to go to a doctor. Sabrina wouldn't give her money to take the chance of a lifetime even when Boone had asked for her; Shannon doubted that she'd hand over money now with Boone dead.

Flipping through the pages of Domeki's journal, she found the right one and smiled. "Okay. She said...penecillin, needles, bandages..." Shannon read, "cotton balls, and peroxide. And whatever else might be helpful." She closed his journal around her finger to keep the page and looked back up at Domeki. "You think we should just peruse and grab whatever we can find?" she ventured curiously.