InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i am not the one!"

Jay (_snoogans_) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-19 19:55:00

Entry tags:

!dropped, day 11, jay, location: gym, shannon rutherford

Day 11
Who: Jay and Shannon
What: Figuring out how to go on, I suppose
Where: Behind the gym
When: about 6pm

Jay didn't remember most of the things connecting some events to others. He couldn't remember how he'd found out about Silent Bob, he couldn't remember how he'd gotten to the gym, but he remembered that Logan dude telling him to go there as fast as he could. He'd breezed through the attempt at healing his arms, and now he'd taken enough pain killers to kill a small animal; which meant he was yet again high, which also meant his memory wasn't exactly perfect at this point either.

Most of all, he felt empty. Blank, actually, a blank slate with nothing on it. Confused, too, and lonely though he didn't want to acknowledge that. As he walked outside and around the building, thinking about how for the first time in ever he could use an actual cigarette and not a blunt, he hadn't expected to find Shannon there, looking pretty fucking sad herself. Immediately, Jay sat next to her, mumbling a "Thank God" nobody was supposed to hear. Beyond that, he didn't speak. He couldn't bring himself to.

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_snoogans_
2009-06-21 04:28 am UTC (link)

They had been babies; the fat baby and the little baby, all their childhoods, throughout high school, afterwards. They even had a fucking business together, and nothing in the world had ever made them want to be apart from each other despite the occasional fight. They just never meant it, really. And now...If Jay was able to analyze himself to such an extent he could say it was almost like losing half of himself.

He listened to Shannon with the saddest expression in the world. "Sorry to hear that. Yeah Bob was all those things for me too, sometimes I think if I'm alive it's thanks to him..." Which brought him to the notion that the opposite was definitely not true.

Looking at her wanting to dry her tears but unable to do so, Jay frowned. "What do you mean? What do you mean it'll hit me in a few days? It's gonna feel worse?" That was some shit. Jay didn't think it could feel worse. "You just said it'll get worse!" He exclaimed, but then tried for a smile. A sad one, but it was there, and full of gratitude.

"Thanks Shannon. Seriously." He said, although in truth it didn't make it any better. Or maybe it did, just knowing someone was there for him and knew what he was feeling like.

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