InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ridiculously romantic."

Jay (_snoogans_) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-19 19:55:00

Entry tags:

!dropped, day 11, jay, location: gym, shannon rutherford

Day 11
Who: Jay and Shannon
What: Figuring out how to go on, I suppose
Where: Behind the gym
When: about 6pm

Jay didn't remember most of the things connecting some events to others. He couldn't remember how he'd found out about Silent Bob, he couldn't remember how he'd gotten to the gym, but he remembered that Logan dude telling him to go there as fast as he could. He'd breezed through the attempt at healing his arms, and now he'd taken enough pain killers to kill a small animal; which meant he was yet again high, which also meant his memory wasn't exactly perfect at this point either.

Most of all, he felt empty. Blank, actually, a blank slate with nothing on it. Confused, too, and lonely though he didn't want to acknowledge that. As he walked outside and around the building, thinking about how for the first time in ever he could use an actual cigarette and not a blunt, he hadn't expected to find Shannon there, looking pretty fucking sad herself. Immediately, Jay sat next to her, mumbling a "Thank God" nobody was supposed to hear. Beyond that, he didn't speak. He couldn't bring himself to.

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ballerinadreams
2009-06-20 12:13 am UTC (link)

Shannon could feel her eyes prickling with tears and her stomach sink with guilt because the tears weren't for Bob and they weren't for Jay. "I know," she said in a low voice. She remembered he'd said that they'd been friends for as long as he could remember. That seemed like a lot longer, even, than she and Boone had been in one another's lives. Twelve years was a long time, but Jay and Bob looked to be in their early thirties, she thought. That was twice as long at least.

"You know...my big brother died two days before I woke up here," she said quietly. "On that Island." She paused and wasn't entirely sure why she was sharing it; it wasn't as if she thought it'd make him feel any better and it sure as shit wasn't making her feel any better. Maybe she just needed to let it out in the presence of someone that she felt actually understood. Sam had intimated that he did because there'd been a time when he hadn't known whether Dean was dead or alive, but this was different. Jay knew Bob was dead. Like Shannon knew Boone had been.

Taking a deep breath and sniffing as she used her free hand to brush tears from her eyes before they could fall, Shannon sighed. "He was my everything. He was my mother, my father, my brother...my best friend. My knight in shining armor. He was everything in my life and now he's gone." With the hand she'd used to wipe her eyes, she took one of Jay's in her own. "I thought he'd always be there for me. I thought he'd never leave me. And then one day...he was gone. So, I mean...I know it's really hard. And I know that it's gonna take a few days before it really hits you."

Again, Shannon paused and then moved to press her lips gently to the back of his head - well mainly on the skull cap - and rested there for a moment. She wanted to ask what he was going to do when they got out of here. Shannon wanted to know where he was going to go now...if only because she knew that she'd never go back to LA where Boone had lived and she could only assume Jay wouldn't want to go back to Jersey where he'd spent his whole life with Bob. But, she didn't. Lips moving against the skull cap as she spoke, Shannon sad softly, "I know it probably won't feel like it, but it gets a little easier. Not a lot...but some. And, like I said, I know how you feel, so...I know it's not the same at all, but...there's always me." It was a weak offering and she knew it, but she meant it and hoped it would be of at least a little consolation.

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_snoogans_
2009-06-21 04:28 am UTC (link)

They had been babies; the fat baby and the little baby, all their childhoods, throughout high school, afterwards. They even had a fucking business together, and nothing in the world had ever made them want to be apart from each other despite the occasional fight. They just never meant it, really. And now...If Jay was able to analyze himself to such an extent he could say it was almost like losing half of himself.

He listened to Shannon with the saddest expression in the world. "Sorry to hear that. Yeah Bob was all those things for me too, sometimes I think if I'm alive it's thanks to him..." Which brought him to the notion that the opposite was definitely not true.

Looking at her wanting to dry her tears but unable to do so, Jay frowned. "What do you mean? What do you mean it'll hit me in a few days? It's gonna feel worse?" That was some shit. Jay didn't think it could feel worse. "You just said it'll get worse!" He exclaimed, but then tried for a smile. A sad one, but it was there, and full of gratitude.

"Thanks Shannon. Seriously." He said, although in truth it didn't make it any better. Or maybe it did, just knowing someone was there for him and knew what he was feeling like.

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