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capt_harkness (capt_harkness) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-10-06 21:07:00

Entry tags:

!active, day 25, ianto jones, jack harkness, location: museum

WHO: Jack Harkness & Ianto Jones
WHAT: Let's see how long they can both repress. Ready, set... go.
WHERE: primarily the museum.
WHEN: Day 25; 13:13
RATING: no comment
STATUS: incomplete

And now they were back to Vas Captio and the only 'change' in the place was the roads were paved and there were now street lamps. Whoop-dee-doo. So that's why all of them got sent "home" for a bit and then got dumped back here. Who gave a shit about paved streets? Jack certainly didn't.

He was deposited back in the centre of town and had made a beeline for the museum. It was frigid cold and Jack was glad he had his greatcoat to curl under -- and was glad Ianto had the duplicate. Hopefully there would be some form of heat in the museum, but that was going to be asking for too much, wasn't it? Jack sighed, gathering up some pieces of wood and long-since faded artwork and set about to creating a fire.

Great. It had taken him about two thousand years to almost have the memories of his family and the Boeshane Peninsula buried. Now look at what happened.

Worst of all, there was no Ianto. Jack could only shudder thinking of where he could have been sent to.

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:19 am UTC (link)

He .. was being carried. Ianto didn't comment (though any other time he would have called Jack a complete idiot for doing it), he only wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and thought light thoughts. Yes, it meant that Jack did most of the work (alright, all of the work) but somewhere inside himself, he knew that Jack needed to do this.

And he couldn't deny that at the moment, he needed something like this, too.

The sudden comforting warmth made Ianto lift his head from Jack's shoulder, though he tensed just a bit at the flames. It was necessary, he told himself, though now part of him wanted to douse them. "Thank you," he mumbled and tried to untangle himself gently. He was aiming for their bed.

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capt_harkness
2009-10-07 01:19 am UTC (link)

Any other time, the only way Jack would carry Ianto is if his legs were wrapped around his waist. But carried in this manner? No, that was reserved for bad romance novel covers. Still, Jack carried Ianto back to their room because he did need this. Jack couldn't save his family, he couldn't save his brother -- but he could save Ianto.

And right now, Jack needed to feel as if he were useful, as if he could do something.

"Warmth," Jack said in regards to the fire in the corner. "Freezing in here otherwise, we need it." Jack did, though reluctantly, set Ianto down, though kept Ianto close to him. He started moving back toward the bed, following Ianto's lead. Wordlessly, Jack dropped onto the bed and pulled Ianto close, getting lost in the other man's warmth and scent, wrapping them both in his greatcoat.

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:20 am UTC (link)

Ianto managed to kick off his shoes before Jack pulled him in close and burrowed himself still closer. "Thank you," he said again, pressing his chilled nose against Jack's neck. It felt marvelous and it served to help thaw out the icy center in his heart.

He still didn't know where Jack had been sent to, but Ianto suspected that it was someplace nearly as bad as Canary Wharf. A chilled and shaky hand pet awkwardly at Jack's cheek, offering what comfort he could.

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capt_harkness
2009-10-07 01:21 am UTC (link)

Jack wasn't quite so lucky, but it was his fault for wearing boots as opposed to shoes. Later he'd get them off, but for right now, he (for once in his life) didn't have sex on the brain. All he wanted was to cuddle close to Ianto and breathe in his lover's scent.

"I swear, I'm going to start calling you puppy dog with that nose of yours," Jack murmured, tightening his grip on Ianto.

When next Jack spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. It was a request he barely made, but Jack was so broken he needed something strong and solid to hold onto. Right now, of all things, it was his relationship with Ianto. "Just tell me you love me."

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:21 am UTC (link)

Imagine that. Jack Harkness needing to hear something like that. In any other mood, Ianto would have teased him. But like this...? Broken as he was and broken as Jack just showed himself to be? Ianto snuggled closer, until he was under Jack's coat along with him and lifted his head so that his lips grazed Jack's ear.

"I love you," he whispered, like it was a secret, too fragile to just be tossed around casually. "I love you. I love you. Only you. I'm scared as fuck right now and it's only okay because you're here. Not because you'll fix it, but because I love you." Ianto shut eyes sore from tears and tried to insert himself under Jack's skin by osmosis.

He was fairly certain that Gwen would have peed her pants hearing Ianto say something like that, back home. This place certainly had changed them.

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capt_harkness
2009-10-07 01:21 am UTC (link)

In any other mood, Jack never would have said it to begin with, so there wouldn't have been any teasing to be had. But Jack's past was so raw to the surface and it brought with it all the memories of his mother's rejection. Jack still remembered the look on her face, asking where Gray was as if she didn't care that one of her sons had survived, but that she would have rather Gray lived than him. Jack needed that confirmation that somewhere in the vast universe at least one person loved him.

Yes, this was the man Jack kept covered by the hard exteriour of the captain. Deep down, he was an insecure man -- he just hid it well, so well that in the end he had become the mask.

Jack closed his eyes, letting Ianto's words wash over him, clinging to each one. Lifting his head, Jack let Ianto burrow against him and Jack would have been lying if he said he wasn't trying to crawl just as close. "But I have to fix things," Jack said, once more speaking without thinking. "That's what I do. I fix things and I keep people safe." No, those weren't tears that slid down Jack's face, silently crying for the first time about an event that happened two thousand years in his past. "But I keep being reminded that I can't."

Congratulations Vas Captio -- you broke Jack Harkness.

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:22 am UTC (link)

"No one expects that," Ianto murmured through new tears. Seeing Jack cry? Utterly undid Ianto all over again. Ianto pressed his cheek against Jack's and just hung on, nice and tight. "I don't expect it. I just expect you to be a man. Just ... just be Jack." Who was it that expected Jack to be other than that? What had happened to him that Jack ended up in tears like this? This was as horrible as Canary Wharf, in its way.

"Tell me," he murmured. "Tell me."

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capt_harkness
2009-10-07 01:22 am UTC (link)

No one may have expected it, but it was what Jack demanded of himself. Jack clung to Ianto, stealing as much strength as he could from the other man. Jack was glad that Ianto wasn't commenting on his physical and/or mental state right now. He wasn't sure how he'd do being mocked for his fragile state.

"That is me," Jack said softly. "I'm supposed to fix it. Otherwise, what good is it to be immortal?"

Jack closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Ianto as he finally began to talk. "My home... where I grew up," Jack replied. "Reliving the day I couldn't follow a simple request and let my brother fall behind."

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:23 am UTC (link)

How could Ianto mock Jack for his mental state when Ianto's state was just as bad? They were survivors of some horrible catastrophe, clinging together. This wasn't some silly game where Ianto could tease and get laughter back. Besides, he didn't feel too jolly at the moment.

He rubbed his cheek against Jack's, rasping a little with stubbly skin, and shivered against Jack. His hands coaxed Jack to continue, trembly and gentle, wiping away at Jack's tears.

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capt_harkness
2009-10-07 01:24 am UTC (link)

Well, he could but that wasn't their sort. Not as strung out as both of them were on the emotional field right now. And really, any teasing would have re-created that shell around Jack and while he may have preferred that -- he also knew he had to at least open up to someone.

Jack closed his eyes, almost shuddering under Ianto's gentle touch. Normally (again with the normal-lys) Jack would have mocked Ianto for the stubble with a 'you're not getting anywhere near my tackle with stubble) but he stayed quiet.

Rolling away and staring up at the ceiling, Jack began to talk about things he'd never before said to another human being or alien. "I was fifteen. We lived under the constant threat of invasion. Never knowing when, just that it was coming." Jack snorted softly. "It's why Gray showed up with the anger he had. I let go of his hand. A simple instruction to keep him safe and I couldn't even do that." Jack reached for Ianto, then, pulling him in so that his head was resting on Jack's chest. Easier still, he didn't have to meet Ianto's eyes. "They sent me back there. And every time I tried to keep hold of him, I couldn't. And the creatures just ignored me." Jack's voice dropped to a whisper, delivering the last line though he would have sworn he only thought the words.

"And looking at my mum. Knowing she wished he'd have lived and I'd have died."

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madeinwales
2009-10-07 01:24 am UTC (link)

Ianto listened quietly but attentively, curled up against Jack with his head pillowed on Jack's chest. "The ..," he took a moment to swallow, hard, "the Cybermen and the Daleks ignored me, too. I .. tried to .. distract them." By throwing himself at them. He couldn't live with going through the nightmare of caring for Lisa again, couldn't go through betraying Jack like that again. He wanted to break the cycle. But the cycle wouldn't let him, either.

His head came up rapidly at the last, though, eyes wide. "Oh, God," he murmured and reached to toss an arm across Jack, to hold him while they lay. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I'm not sorry you lived." Ianto's voice was thick and sore but the words were as fervent as he could make them.

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