WHAT. Wild!Soulmates deal with seeing their missing piece again after years and Eli making poor choices. WHERE. Forestry area outside the Mountain complex in WIld!Vallo WHEN. After they first met everyone from Prime. WARNINGS. Sads, mentions of losing a partner, some fighting, FTB. Nothing too graphic. STATUS. status
This was hardly their first fight in this life. They had been through a great deal since Del was lost and disagreements were bound to happen when you were constantly in a war of sorts. But it had been some time since Cayden had felt this angry. It was fear, of course. And his own horrible longing.
Mnestaes was here. Del was here. Or so he claimed. They'd been tricked by an illusion once, years ago. Someone claiming to be Del. And it wasn't like they hadn't know he was gone then. That if he came back to them, he wouldn't look like he had when they lost him. And it would take time. More than Eliphas had in this life. But they'd still been fooled. Eliphas had suffered a near fatal injury and Cayden had sworn to himself: never again.
Now he had a hold of Eli's wrist and was pulling him bodily through the trees, to get some distance from the man calling himself their lost love.
"Have you learned nothing?" he hissed, pushing Eli up against a tree. They weren't too far into the forest and his senses were aware of their surroundings even if he seemed entirely focused on the man in front of him. "Really. Nothing at all, Eliphas?"
Eli felt a combination of defensiveness rise in his chest, but it was swelled out by the guilt. He wanted to argue and rally against Cayden, to fight with him until they fucked against the forest floor, because they did somehow always managed to work through it. He let himself get dragged, even though he could have pulled out of the hold (debatable, Cayden was still and always would be stronger than him) because⊠well, he probably deserved this.
Shame flooded up his cheeks as he held onto the tree. He wasnât scared of Cayden, and he may have had the seed of doubt about Mnestaes but he knew that Cayden wouldnât hurt him. The actual Mnestaes wouldnât hurt him either, Eli was confident of that, but was this the actual one?
His heart wanted to think so, desperately. âHe didnât stab me with a poisoned dagger?â It was a hopeful little voice. His lips had been on Mnestaesâ for such a short period of time before Cayden was there, though he remembered every touch. âIt felt like him, Cade.â
"You thought as much last time." Cayden had thought as much last time. He still had a fist in Eli's shirt and even though his anger was a fire in the pit of his gut, he despised even the semblance of hurting Eli. He dropped his hand and paced a few steps away. It was possible he was spending too much time in animal form. His walk was more prowl than saunter anymore and his temper felt like their dragon's once had - quick and all-encompassing.
"Desperation has made fools of us both too many times already. And I will not lose you too. Not on a fool's hope." The Outlanders could believe this story all they wanted. It didn't matter that the arrivals had known about the flash of strange memories and the pain. They could've been the ones to cause it. His scowl sharpened as he turned back and moved close again. "I will not lose you too, do you hear me?"
It sounded like a vow. And in this darkly magical forest, a faerie prince's word still held weight. The birds grew hushed and even the wind stood still.
âCayden,â and then quieter, more reverent, Eli whispered Caydenâs name in his fae-tongue, picked up out of necessity more than pleasure, but at least on his lips it could sound pleasing. âIâm still here. Iâm not going anywhere.â It was a promise he would make now, and again as many times as necessary. They had to prove it to each other on occasion, when reminded of their brief times together.
But even then, they had each other more than others could ever wish for. Lifetime after lifetime, even if they didnât find each other, they had another chance. It was probably unfair, but Eli would forever be selfish about it. âYou will not lose me.â He felt it needed repeating again, and Eli brought his hands in to clutch at Caydenâs side, as if afraid Cayden would walk away again and leave him feeling cold and alone against this tree trunk. âHe kissed like Mnestaes. That other, I felt his lips and it just left me cold and then it was too late-- but this one- He felt right. You have to trust me on that.â
Cayden's eyes closed as Eli said his name that way. His hands still trembled withâŠwhat? It wasn't rage, not really. It looked like it, in the sharp line of his broad shoulders and the cut of his clenched jaw. But it was fear more than anything else. Fear and something worse. Hope.
"YouâŠyou could have waited to test such a thing. You could have let us speak first." He opened his eyes and pushed forward, cradling Eli's face between his hands. "This life is you and I, sia tov." The draconic felt contradictory in this moment, but it slipped free before he could catch himself. "You and I. Do not leave me behind in search of something we cannot get back in this life."
Eli sucked in a rush of breath at Caydenâs words. He felt that, even though he was so good at shutting down his emotions now. But no amount of walls or training would ever keep him from opening up to Cayden, as he did. âIâm sorry. I couldnât, but Iâm sorry.â He clutched at Cayden, held tight and fast to him. He leaned in to press a kiss, confident that even in his worry and his anger, Cayden would want that from him.
âIt may not be for forever, this time, but we are forever, all of us. You have me as you need me, right now, right here. I have not gone anywhere.â He felt it necessary to remind Cayden that he was still here, healthy and whole. This wasnât like last time. âIâll try to be better going forward but I do not want either of us to miss out on something by being bitter, we have had vengeance wrapped around us for so long now. Let us touch the light, however brief it might be.â
Cayden closed his eyes and pressed into Eli's touch, greedy for every inch of it. Constantly being on the hunt for fae left him feeling disconnected more often than not and Eli's touch was what brought him back to the world each and every time. He kissed him, and then he kissed Eli's palm, held up to his face for a long moment.
"I cannot promise to do so. I am not convinced that is him. I will not--" He swallowed roughly and touched fiddled with the ring on his hand with his thumb. It was an old habit but he hadn't done it in some time. It took him a moment to realize there was a reason he was doing it now. He held his hand out and frowned down at it.
"Eliphas�"
Eli was caught up in Cayden, at first. He could stare into those eyes for another dozen lifetimes and be happy for it. This life hurt, and it was so rare for them to all come away unscathed as it was. Eli wanted something good for them, but this would only be temporary. âI know. Iâll follow your lead.â He would, now. Heâd had time to be rash, to make the stupid decision.
Caydenâs plea had been heartfelt, and Eli remembered what it was like to feel his guttural anguish when Eli had almost died. He wouldnât willingly do that again, not to someone he loved as much as he did Cayden.
Or Mnestaes. Eliâs eyes glowed the same shade as the rings, the pretty green that complimented Cayden and Del just as well when theyâd had the rings enchanted. His breath caught. âShit. Holy fuck. Itâs-â He brought up his ring, and took Caydenâs hand into his own. âItâs him.â
Cayden scowled at the rings for a long moment, his heart rioting in his chest. He couldn't help but thread their fingers together. The rings were always drawn to each other, one piece of a greater whole, and he could feel them igniting with a quiet, steady little buzz of energy. It made his eyes grow damp. He closed them swiftly to avoid any tears.
"IâŠsuppose it must be. But he is still not ours. You heard them just as well as I did, Eli." His voice had softened with the realization. What held him back now was fear and dread, rather than suspicion. "They are only here to fix their problem and then return to their own world. Do not get attached."
He was aware this was a futile demand - likely for both of them - but he said it like royalty all the same.
Eli held Caydenâs fingers in his, let them entwine, and brought his free hand up to cup Caydenâs jaw. He knew he was just as grounding as Cayden could be for him, now, after all theyâd been through, but it had been a journey to get there. He hadnât always been what Cayden needed, and he knew he often made things far more difficult on both of them.
Case in point, now. âHeâs always ours. No matter which Mnestaes he is.â That was just a fact for Eli. He knew Cayden had to distance himself, and Eli knew part of that was his own fault - Cayden was there to pick up his pieces each and every time he got emotionally invested in something that didnât work out.
He pulled their entwined hands closer to him so he could press a kiss to Caydens. âWeâre attached forever. Iâm always going to be attached. But I wonât let this make me fall apart.â
Cayden's frown sharpened but he pressed his face into Eli's hand anyway. He didn't want to stay in this form much longer. He wanted to get away from being a person who had loved and lost and couldn't bear the idea of doing it again in this lifetime. But that felt extraordinarily cowardly when Eli was right here, feeling all of the same things he was.
"On that, we will have to disagree." Mnestaes belonged to another Cayden, another Eliphas. He might be real, but that didn't make him more than a temporary knife in the heart. "That is, about him being ours. I suppose it was stupid to suggest we weren't always going to be attached to any version of him anyway." He sighed and turned to face Eli more fully so he could slowly crowd him against the tree.
"We will hold each other together," he murmured, leaning in to kiss Eli tenderly. "Come what may."
Eli slid his hands down from Caydenâs face and across his chest, to his side. He let his fingers trail so slowly, and take in every curve and angle that he had memorized. How often heâd just laid on Caydenâs chest and traced everything he could reach, thinking, missing, wanting them to be whole again.
He wanted that now, with the three of them. He knew they disagreed, but Eli so desperately wanted them to feel healed again that it clouded his judgement. It was a flaw, but it was a flaw that he wouldnât let go. He needed that shred of optimism, to not feel so dark and empty.
âWeâll always have each other.â He agreed, so easily. He was always easy for Cayden, especially now as Eli was the one that started stretching like a cat against this tree trunk. âTell me how I can distract you, and Iâm yours.â
Cayden appreciated the attempt to sway him away from this topic. And he needed, suddenly, to be as close to Eli as he could get. He let his gaze drop down Eli's neck with burning intensity.
"You only have to breathe to distract me," he admitted, as truthful as ever. His fingers slipped underneath the fabric at Eli's shoulders. He was not above ripping Eli's clothes off, right here in the forest. It wouldn't be the first time. A bird flew out of the tree above them as if it knew things were about to heat up below.
"But I think," he whispered as he leaned down to bite at Eli's exposed clavicle, "I can come up with something more enjoyable than that."