WHERE. The library in the Xhorhaus. WHEN. Evening of January 24. WHAT. As Essek is packing (another) bag of holding, Kiri comes to talk to him. WARNINGS. None, really! ART CREDIT. header: danikalore @ tumblr; Kiri's icon: themossking @ tumblr
It was no easy task to know which spell components one might need while traversing through a mysterious portal with no idea as to just what was on the other side of it. With a bag of holding open on a chair and the table before him littered with everything from carefully proportioned out bat guano for Caleb (because he would find him and he would make sure he was well prepared if he arrived without his component pouch) to large gems sorted from least in value to most, Essek stood with hands on his hips and his brow furrowed in contemplation.
He had hoped that this might calm him, as organization and feeling adequately prepared often did, but Essek knew that he was as organized and prepared as he could possibly be. The stores of Gilmore's shop had been adequately gone through, much of it being donated to this cause and taking up a significant area of the bag of holding next to him. Arrangements had been made in regard to Kiri. Scrolls had been pulled from their library. Essek had looked through his own spellbook, going over his spells again and again, even those he had learned over a century before. He had everything, he knew that he did. And yet, his mind was far away, across the island, through a portal to some unknown place where he was hoping against all hope that his husband and son were waiting for him.
Essek's mind was so focused there, in fact, that he didn't hear the soft scratching of an already rogue-trained kenku child's talons on the wood floor of the library until Kiri was right next to him, unsubtly setting a dagger on the table.
"Come with." Essek didn't recognize the voice that Kiri's borrowed words came from, but she had been exposed to so many people over their years in Vallo that she could almost always hold conversation unimpeded, even if her mimicry bounced around.
Recognizing the dagger that Kiri had placed before Essek was more important than the voice itself and left him sighing softly. "Is that Vax'ildan's dagger?"
Clearly unmoved as she took the dagger in her long, thin claws, Kiri moved to swipe it through the air in what really was an impressive manner for a girl of her age and lack of real training. As she moved, demonstrating all that she had apparently learned from observing the other dagger-wielding rogue under the roof, she repeated, "Come with."
"Kiri--"
"Kelnar!" The interruption came in Essek's voice now, as Kiri used the Undercommon that was the name she used for him. She stopped moving about, still holding the dagger but standing still, looking Essek squarely in the eye. "Find Papa and Kir. Protect you."
An emotion that wasn't at all hard to name stirred in Essek's heart as he looked down at the young kenku. He remembered all too keenly when she had arrived in Vallo, only months after he and Caleb had first shown up in the new world themselves. They'd been surrounded by far more friends then, yet he still had felt utterly out of his depth. He had hardly enjoyed spending time around children when he had been a child, save for Verin--and that was dependent on how long it had been since his brother had last put jam in his books. He had admitted then to Caleb just how much he had never considered one day being a father, the thought genuinely a struggle to wrap his mind around. He remembered that immediate "Go fuck yourself!" that he had been given from the girl and how he had been both taken aback and charmed by her from the start.
And now here Essek was, reaching out to beckon for the dagger from the young kenku that had wiggled her way into his life and heart and became his daughter.
Though she hesitated a moment, Kiri nevertheless gave Essek the dagger. It was one of Vax's, he was almost certain from the design down the blade, and he made a mental note to return it later. For now, he simply placed it on the table and turned his attention to Kiri, lowering himself down to one knee to better be at her eye level. He took one of Kiri's hands in his.
"Lotha uss," Essek started, his tone gentle. The tone, he had to wager, seemed enough of an answer to Kiri, whose feathers seemed to ruffle in irritation as she let out a quick breath. "I am sorry, I truly am. I understand why you want to come with me and you are very brave for wanting to do so, but this is not an adventure for you. Not this time."
Essek felt Kiri's hand turn in his, her grip tightening as she looked up at him with wide yellow eyes. "Protect you, Kelnar."
"I know that you want to protect me, just as much as you want to help find your papa and brother." Essek reached out with his free hand, his fingers brushing through her long, dark feathers. "If I could bring you with me, I would. But I need you to be here, Kiri, where I know you are safe." He didn't know if he could stomach anything else, with Caleb and Kir's location and status already so unknown. If just one member of his family was safe and sound, he thought that could be anchor enough to bring them all home. It had to be.
Essek watched as Kiri's head fell forward, eyes dropping. Even with a bird-life face, he could read the resignation in her. Were it any other situation, he thought that she may have fought a bit harder. She was a smart girl, though. She understood the situation.
"Okay, okay, okay." Yasha's voice, Essek recognized. Then, with an ever deeper stab to his chest, she added in a low, Zemnian timber, "I love you, Vögelchen."
"He does," Essek murmured, voice quiet and wavering more than he cared to admit. "He loves you so very much, Kiri. As do I. I promise that I will bring them both back to you."
Crashing forward into him, Kiri let out a soft chirp of a whimper and Essek's arms circled around her without hesitation. He wanted nothing more to give her comfort in this moment, as it was exactly what he needed; was that not what he had asked for from Gilmore, when he'd requested that he give him words of affirmation that this wild scheme could actually end favorably? He wondered now if Gilmore had felt similarly to how Essek felt now, as though there weren't enough words to share or hugs to give that would ever be enough to fill the hole of worry and despair that was gnawing away.
"I have you, Kiri." This time when he spoke, the murmur was right against her feathers. They tickled his nose, but Essek didn't move. "I have you."
It would have to do for now. Soon, he would abandon his attempts at distraction through preparation to eat dinner with Kiri and the others. Then, father and daughter would ascend into the nest and he would read her story after story, doing his best to keep the voices straight and as enthusiastic as ever, until exhaustion caught up to the girl and she would finally doze off. Essek would attempt the same, finally falling into a fitful night of trancing, just enough to be refreshed come morning for whatever hell awaited him and the others at the portal.
That would be tomorrow, though, and with it would come a true goodbye. For now, he just focused on Kiri, being present, and the strength that only a found family turned true family could give.