WHAT. What!If Julian shows up and gets a shock, Ty isn't sure what to do and also blurts out some information. WHERE. Their apartment WHEN. Backdated to the What If Plot! WARNINGS. TW for talks of sibling death, grief, ghosts, necromancy gone wrong; don't let the cut text fool you, it's sad!! STATUS. Complete!
Julian was not the type to wake up somewhere strange, and certainly not without Emma at his side. He'd stayed up too late, reading something he should absolutely not have been reading, and slyly at that. So he'd expected to wake up in a chair downstairs at Blackthorn Manor with a sore neck, not in a bedroom he'd never seen before with his art pinned up all over the walls. It wasn't art he remembered making, but he knew his own style.
He rolled out of bed quickly, awake and aware in an uncomfortable way. He found his stele, but there wasn't an angel blade in the room. There was a crossbow in the corner though, so he grabbed that and strapped it to his back before he hurried out of the room.
He didn't get very far. Stumbling to a stop, he stared at the familiar face sitting with a bowl of cereal. Was he in Thule? How had he gotten pulled back to Thule? Did he care? He took a slow step forward, clinging to the chest strap of his crossbow.
"Ty?" he whispered brokenly. "Are you--Raziel, this is a really cruel dream."
Ty had been sitting on a barstool, shoving his face with cereal, and froze mid-bite. Whenever anything weird was happening around Vallo - which heâd learned was pretty often - he got up early and made a list of all the things he wanted to accomplish for the day. Heâd been up late, sitting on the balcony wrapped in a cozy blanket, Kit across from him on his own balcony, their phones in hand. Theyâd texted well past midnight, existing quietly as to not wake their families, but wanting to talk.
Theyâd made plans for the day, to go investigating. Ty had expected Jules to come out with his hair all disheveled and sleepy, but not looking like he just stepped out of a war. He looked more tired than usual, and Ty frowned.
Livvy, from her perch on the edge of the sofa, with Irene snuggled at her side, pulled an identical expression. They glanced at each other, and then Ty looked back to Julian. âUh- hey. Are you okay, Jules?â
Julian's heart felt like it might stutter to a stop. Thule had been different than this. The Ty there had been damaged and worn down. It had been like seeing his brother through a fun house mirror - similar but strange. This Ty was everything Julian remembered but better. He looked healthy. Taller? Older? Julian's thoughts tumbled over each other like flotsam in a storm.
"IâŠdon't know. Are you really here?" He walked closer, frowning. "Is this a trick?" It had to be, but hope was the cruelest emotion. Julian got close enough to reach out and touch Ty's cheek. He felt real but that didn't actually prove anything. Julian's heart squeezed painfully. "God, I want this to be real so badly."
Ty knew that weird things were happening around Vallo, that people had new memories and didnât remember things that had happened here. Jules had been just fine the day before, and now he was looking at Ty like the younger brother was a ghost.
Tyâs eyes flicked back over to Livvy, who had the same realization at the same time. Oh. He reached up to wrap his hand over Jules, where it was touching him. âYouâre in a place called Vallo. We all are. Sometimes people wake up here but we all came from our worlds to this place, which seems to exist out of time and place.â He was very matter-of-fact in delivering this knowledge to Julian, because that was what Ty preferred working with. Facts.
But this was his brother, so he softened a little, too. âItâs weird, but itâs real. Is everything going to be okay?â
Vallo. So Julian was somewhere else like Thule. That explained a lot. And it made the hope in his chest get tangled up with sadness and a grim sort of acceptance. Whatever Vallo was, it was probably temporary. He couldn't stay here.
"Okay feels like a stretch," he admitted. "I justâŠIt doesn't matter. I'm happy to see you. No matter how temporary it might be." He was reluctant to spook his brother, but he couldn't resist the urge to pull him into a tight hug. Tears felt unbearably close to the surface. He held on a little too long. Eventually, he swallowed down the urge to cry into Ty's hair and let him go instead. He even took a step back. Like that would somehow help him regain his equilibrium.
"Sorry. I--Is Emma here?" She would help keep him stable. She always did.
Ty was glad for the hug, not just because he always felt a little better giving Julian a hug, but because he could now hide his face in his brotherâs shoulder and half-hide the expression he made when Emma was brought up.
He loved Emma like a sister, she was family with her connection to Jules and the way they fit together, and hoped sheâd show up every single day for Julian, but heâd already been the bearer of bad news once before with having to tell him she wasnât. He was back to looking like a sheepish little brother when he showed his face to Jules once again. âNo, sorry. Sheâs not. Itâs um- me, and Kit, and Tessa.â
And Livvy. But he couldnât say that, even if Ty wanted to. Even as she leveled a look at him from behind Julian, but it was ultimately Livvyâs choice who saw her these days, and she wasnât ready yet. âDo you want some breakfast?â
"Oh. No Livvy either? That must be hard for you," Julian murmured, unaware of the brutal truth of that statement. He should've expected all of this, really. A world where Ty was alive would of course not also have all the other people Julian loved. That would be too kind, and life was never that gentle with a Blackthorn. He would just have to make the most of the time he got.
He ruffled Ty's hair. It was something stupid he'd missed and it made emotion stick in his throat like a stone. He had to turn away and swallow before he managed any other words. "Breakfast would be great. Wait, are you making it for me? This really is a dream," he teased.
Ty flushed at the mention of Livvy. He was about to clamp up and just agree with Jules, move into the kitchen, get their breakfast foods out, change the topic. But something stirred and then Livvy was standing next to Jules and reaching up like she wanted to brush his hair off of his face and take care of him, she did this with all of her brothers when she saw something they didnât.
She nodded to Ty, and he immediately blurted out words heâd never said out loud before. âLivvyâs a ghost, actually. Um- yeah.â Okay so he didnât have the guts to tell Julian how she was a ghost. Instead he busied himself by pulling out a box of pop-tarts, another box of cereal, and a loaf of bread. âTheyâre the sâmores kind,â as if that made it better that he wasnât about to cook anything.
Julian froze in place, his shoulders going rigid. His back was still to his brother, thank the Angel, so he could fight back the horror and grief enough to not blurt out something angry. His hand shook as he curled it into a fist and turned back around, looking around the room.
"Here?" he whispered. "Is she here? Did she die here? OrâŠ" His throat felt raw. Did he really want the details? Yes and no. His heart absolutely did not. But Julian's brain was always the type to need every piece of information or it would dwell horribly on all the possibilities instead.
Oh, oops. Ty should have realized the abrupt info drop was not always what people enjoyed (usually it was only Ty who enjoyed being given the information immediately and without hesitation). Livvy was wincing, which was his first indicator, but she was still next to Julian. To Ty, she nodded again, his constant reassurance as always. âItâs okay, itâll be okay, Tiberius.â
Ty pulled out the pop tarts and shoved them into the toaster. He was less gentle than his sister, and now feeling awkward about being the reason Jules was making that face. âYes, no. Um- a few years ago, at the Council Hall in Idris. Sheâs right next to you, because--â Well, he couldnât explain it without explaining it, and Ty hadnât thus far mustered up the courage to even tell his Julian what had happened.
Maybe it was time. He owed Julian so much, and this could be practice for if he had to say it again later. âI did something that I shouldnât have, with the Black Volume, and now her ghost is tied to me.â
Julian turned a sharp-eyed gaze towards the side of him Ty seemed to indicate. For once, he wished he had the Herondale trait of always being able to see ghosts. But the space remained frustratingly empty.
"In my world, it was you," he told Ty. "I was hoping in your worldâŠ" Tears threatened to fall. Julian stared up at a kitchen light to make them stop. Every universe was cruel to his family and he just didn't understand why. "What happened? Why didn't it work? I've been--" He snapped his mouth shut rather than finish that sentence. Unfortunately, he'd probably already admitted enough. But he tried to keep the focus on Ty's experience anyway. "Why didn't it work?" he repeated stubbornly.
âI-â Tyâs eyes darted over to Livvy again, for a little guidance of how to answer that, but in true annoying sisterly fashion, she disappeared. Sheâd be back, he knew it, but it was sometimes her way of not answering him when he wanted her to tell him what to say.
But he hadnât seen the flash of pain in her eyes, at Julianâs answer. Ty had already put the pieces together, but for Livvy it was fresh, and she didnât want him to see her reaction in full, not like this.
Ty huffed out a frustrated breath. âIt just- Itâs not meant-â He had to give Julian some kind of answer, but Ty wasnât sure he wanted to lock his brother into the same fate that they had fallen into. He knew exactly what had gone wrong, but telling Julian that could somehow change their course and make it worse.
âWeâre not meant to do it. Itâs not magic thatâs meant for us, Julian. So it went wrong.â There was nothing Ty hated more than lying to Julian, even as he did it.
Scowling, Julian turned fully towards Ty. Unlike the brother Ty had grown up with, this Julian was still locked in a grief he couldn't find his way out of, and he was sharper around the edges as a result. Here he was looking at his brother who was alive and well. It made all of his darker moments lately feel necessary. Could he go home again and just live his life after seeing Ty in the flesh twice? He may have been part angel, but he was also very human.
"That's not an answer," he said, narrowing his eyes. "I don't need a morality debate, Tiberius. I need to know why it didn't work." He looked back towards the space next to him, hoping for some kind of sign from Livvy. Something he could work with. But he could almost feel the fact that she was no longer in the room. His shoulders sagged. "It should've worked."
Ty sunk down under Julianâs stare. That scowl wasnât one that was turned on him often, even if heâd seen it dozens of times. It made him want to tell Julian everything even if he knew that was a bad idea. But he was cracking, and had to pull himself back together enough to say no.
He started shaking his head, âItâs not a morality debate. Itâs-- I was the one that did it, I know. I had it all right,â but that catalyst was wrong, he wanted to shout, but he swallowed it with the pain in his chest and sagged a little. âI was meticulous. I had it planned perfectly, and it still came out wrong, and now sheâs stuck as a ghost, tied to me, and we had to get warlock help so I wouldnât die and Iâm pretty sure sheâs only not mad at me because itâs me.â
That last part slipped out, a little bit of honesty that he hadnât meant to put in there. Ty couldnât meet his gaze, not even as he continued. âI donât want to be like Annabel, Jules. And I shouldnât have even tried with Livvy but I didnât know how to live without her, I still donât.â
Julian felt like he'd run a marathon by the time Ty stopped talking. His chest was heaving and his hands were clammy. He pulled Ty into another hug. This one was more him clinging to the sibling he didn't know how to live without. But he didn't say that out loud. Because Julian would rather cut himself off at the knees than ever make his siblings feel bad. Or in this case, worse.
"You're never going to be like Annabel, Ty," he mumbled into Ty's hair. "You're too strong and too good. You were just hurting and you made a mistake. You'll make it right." He lifted his head and looked out across the room. "For both of you."
He was unfortunately going to cry. He could feel the burn coming on stronger than before and he knew he'd been fighting the urge for too long to succeed now, with Ty here in the same room. Quickly, he kissed his brother's head and moved away, ducking his own chin and shoveling the weapons he'd dropped to the floor back up into his arms.
"I--I'm going to put these away. I justâŠneed a minute, okay?" Julian lifted a wounded gaze to glance back at Ty one more time. "I love you. I missed you so much. I just want you to know that," he choked out as he darted from the room.
Ty nodded against Julianâs solid frame, still a little shaken and tense. As much as he liked hugging Julian and how safe that had always made him feel, protected away from the world, he was still thankful when the hug broke off and Julian backed away. Ty needed air, and Kit.
âThereâs a shower and clothes and-â Julian was already on his way out, and Ty scrambled out extra words because he didnât want to miss the opportunity if he didnât have much time, âI love you too,â because Ty did, he always would.