WHAT: Laurence wakes up as himself again and goes to see his husband WHERE: The Dragon Covert WHEN: Early this morning WARNINGS: Fluff. Some sexual themes near the end and a fade to black STATUS: Complete
Laurence awoke, groggy and a little sore, and for a disorienting moment, he hadn’t the least idea where he was. Slowly, he recognized the ceiling, and the sonorous breathing of Temeraire, and the last week came back to him in bits and pieces: his awkward morning with Lan Xichen when Laurence hadn’t known who he was. His decision to sleep with Temeraire in his pavilion to help prevent any further awkwardness with the man who claimed to be his husband.
He groaned as he sat up, both from the memory of it and because the cushions that were strewn about in Temeraire’s pavilion were not ideal for sleeping, both awkwardly shaped and too soft for sleeping by half. He dressed quietly so as to not wake Temeraire, though he laid a hand against his warm side as he passed him on his way out. The morning was still chill and damp with the morning dew, the first rays of sunlight only just starting to fall on the covert and reflect off the lake, but he didn’t bother with his jacket for the brisk walk to the covert, nor did he stop to listen to the first trills of birdsong.
In a normal day, he might have started a pot of coffee as he passed near the kitchens, perhaps grabbed something sweet for Lan Xichen’s breakfast, but neither of those things were on his mind. He turned in the opposite direction from the kitchens, and took the stairs two at a time to the tower room. He was winded by the time he got to their chamber door, but only a little. It did not take him long to catch his breath again before he quietly, carefully pushed open the door and padded into their room.
He leaned over Lan Xichen, gently brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, and then kissed his eyelids, first the left, then the right. “A-Huan. Wake up.”
Lan Xichen had spent a week sleeping alone and doing his best to avoid awkwardness. Soft kisses and his husband’s affectionate voice had been nothing but the stuff of dreams. Here on the edge of sleep, he thought this must be one of them.
“Not yet,” he murmured, his eyes still closed. He caught Laurence’s hand and held it. “Let me dream of you a while longer.”
Laurence winced. He could not complain too much of Vallo, not really. If not for Vallo, he’d have never found his husband in the first place. But Vallo’s whims were trying, and Laurence could not help but resent how hard they’d made this last week for Lan Xichen. For Lan Xichen to see him every day, and yet know he was not truly his husband must have been near impossible.
He twined his fingers with Lan Xichen’s, ran his thumb over his knuckles, and then knelt beside the bed. He brought Lan Xichen’s knuckles to his lips, and with a forced levity, he asked, “Should I be offended or chastised that you’d prefer the company of a dream husband to the real thing?”
Lan Xichen was awake now whether he liked it or not, and his eyes opened to find the William Laurence he was accustomed to seeing every morning—no ashen hairs mixed in with the gold, and best of all, no stiff, awkward set to his jaw. His husband was returned to him at last, and Lan Xichen could not pretend to be anything other than overwhelmed with joy.
“Oh, my heart,” he sighed, smiling properly for the first time in a week as he squeezed Laurence’s hand. “My husband. Forgive me; I did not realize quickly enough that my dreams had come true.”
“I can hardly blame you,” Laurence said, and laid his free hand on Lan Xichen’s cheek. “I hope,” he started, and then stopped, because no matter how he hoped these last few days hadn’t been too difficult for Lan Xichen, he knew that they had been, in the same way he knew that he’d have found it impossible had their positions been reversed. “I know that these last few days have been trying, but I’ve returned to you, with every cherished memory of you intact.”
It was the best news Lan Xichen could have hoped for. “And you remember these last days as well?” he asked as he pushed himself upright. Laurence sounded as though he knew what happened, but Lan Xichen would prepare himself to give another set of explanations if need be.
“I do,” Laurence said. He himself made no effort to move from his position kneeling at the bed, but placed his hands on Lan Xichen’s knees. “And more; I remember the rest of my life back in England.”
Physically, at least, it had been kinder than when he’d had a year of new memories bestowed on him. There was no accompanying headache that felt like it would split his skull in two. No, for the low price of making his husband worry he’d never return, Laurence had been given thirteen years more of memories from the life he could have lived. He’d have preferred the headache.
“Thirteen more years,” Lan Xichen marveled aloud. His husband was now, he supposed, thirteen years older in every way but the physical. It was so much time spent with other people in another world. Would that change how Laurence felt about him, or about their life together? Lan Xichen hoped not, and held on to the fact that Laurence had come here first thing in the morning seeming as affectionate as ever.
“Does your head ache from it again?” Lan Xichen asked, setting aside his own concerns to worry about Laurence’s health instead.
“No,” Laurence said with an exhalation that was very nearly laughter. “No, we seem to have avoided that with everything else that happened these last few days.” He stretched up so that he could kiss him. “I am damnably glad to be back to myself though. I will take the headache next time if I have a choice in the matter. I suppose Temeraire will be glad for me to remember all the things that he does, though I can’t begin to predict how he’ll feel about my memories surpassing his.”
“He will undoubtedly be disappointed that he does not get to recall his political success,” Lan Xichen replied with a faint smile. He folded himself in to rest his forehead against Laurence’s; finding it uncomfortable, he pushed off the bed to settle on the floor and put them at the same level. “How do you feel about these memories?”
Laurence used the time he took to think of his answer to settle in more comfortably against Lan Xichen, resting his head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him snuggling against Laurence’s hip.
“Glad, I think,” he said after a time. “Temeraire’s told me all he recalls, of course, but there is a difference between being told of a thing and being there for one’s self. To see the war ended, and to know all is, more or less, how Temeraire has said is a relief. I’ve never suspected him of lying, of course, only that he has a certain way of seeing the world that doesn’t always align with my own.” He’d been nearly convinced that Temeraire’s daughter, Ning, couldn’t be half as bad as Temeraire had made her out to be, only to be shown that she was every bit the hellion that Temeraire had claimed her to be. She had, he was glad to see, settled a little as she grew. Emperor Mianning had been a good influence on her. He’d likewise had trouble believing that he’d truly been promoted to Admiral, and had been given a baronetcy. It had been unbelievable enough to him that he’d been restored to the Lists after his transport to Australia, and he’d never quite been able to shake the belief that Temeraire had somehow gotten something confused in the telling.
“We have a good life there, too. I cannot tell you how proud I am of Temeraire’s political victories. I wish you could see them yourself; I know you’d feel the same as me. I’ve a little vegetable garden and I tend the flowers and the estate. I never married; I don’t suppose I ever will, in that life.”
Jane had never shown any more inclination for it than she had in the time that Laurence remembered, though he’d been surprised to see that their relationship had been rekindled toward the end of the war. He suspected that he was half in love with Tenzing, though the only reason he recognized that much was because of his feelings for Lan Xichen. That, he was sure, was one-sided: Tenzing had never shied from expressing his opinion in any other matter; if he’d had feelings for Laurence, Laurence had no reason to believe he wouldn’t have expressed them.
“I suppose I can’t say for certain what will happen in the years that remain to me in that life, but if this is all that I ever learn of it, then I’m glad for it. It’s a quiet sort of retirement, but I’ve no complaints over how it all turned out. I would say a man could not wish for better, if I hadn’t already found it.”
Lan Xichen relaxed into Laurence’s side, finding that explanation more reassuring than he could have hoped for. After days and days of being found wanting, it had been too easy for Lan Xichen to worry that his Laurence might feel the same way, given those same memories. Hearing Laurence talk about it more and being held so lovingly silenced Lan Xichen’s anxieties and made them seem rather silly in retrospect.
“I am glad that all is well for you there,” he said quietly. He turned his head to kiss Laurence’s cheek and nuzzle his hair. “And I am more glad than that to have you remember me again. It was quite a blow to my pride to have you annoyed by waking up beside me.”
“I wasn’t annoyed,” Laurence assured him. “Not really. I was,” he thought for a moment, frowning to himself. “Scared, I think. Or worried, perhaps. In 1812, I’d been involved in a shipwreck, and I’d taken a head injury that caused me to lose a substantial sum of years. Eight years of them, in fact. For five months, I’d had no memories of Temeraire, and could make no sense of my life as it stood then. And so at first I was afraid something similar had happened again, and even once I knew it was magic, insomuch as I let myself believe in magic, the circumstances were too similar to be comfortable. It’s no excuse though, for my behaviour.” He lifted his head so he could look Lan Xichen in the face when he asked, “And how are you, my love? I know this has not been easy on you.”
“You need not make any excuse,” Lan Xichen gently assured him. “I apologize if I implied that you did.”
He lifted his hand to cup Laurence’s cheek as he took in the sight of the face he knew so well. It was such a relief to see recognition in those dear eyes once more.
“I missed you, and I feared I might never have you back. And I must admit,” he added with a rueful smile, “Hearing you speak of Mr. Tharkay so fondly caused me to worry that even if you came to remember me again, your heart would belong to another. Jealousy is unbecoming of me, but…” He shrugged, letting the admission stand despite what the Wall of Discipline would have to say about it. It was undignified of him, but Lan Xichen craved the reassurance that there was no other place his husband would rather be.
Laurence raised his hand and caught Lan Xichen's against his cheek, turning his face so he could kiss his palm. "Oh, my love. My heart. My husband." He added another kiss at each term of endearment. "Once I met you, I was done for. You have the whole of my heart. The whole of my soul. There is no room for any other."
That was exactly what Lan Xichen needed to hear. He leaned in against Laurence once more, the last of the week’s tension leaving him at the reassurance.
“I apologize for needing to hear that,” he said, and gave Laurence a light kiss. “Thank you for indulging me.”
"I will hear no apologies. I acted abominably to you this week, and if anyone should apologize, it is me. It's no wonder you would need assurances." Laurence hadn't been rude, but he had been cold, and that, somehow, seemed worse. He remembered well the reassurances Temeraire had needed after Laurence had lost his memories. He took hold of Lan Xichen's knees and pulled him onto his lap and encircled his hips with his arms. "I think we should move up the honeymoon. To this weekend, if you agree."
Everything was better when he was being held like this, Lan Xichen thought. He settled in comfortably and leaned against Laurence’s chest, taking in the warmth and the contact and the scent that he’d been denied all week.
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. A holiday just for the two of them sounded like just what he needed, and the sooner the better. “Prompto will be glad to manage things at work, I have no doubt. And A-Xiang will be all right with the change in schedule?”
Laurence hesitated. It was difficult to always predict how Temeraire would take a change like that, especially changes that took Laurence from him for any substantial amount of time.
"Temeraire will understand," he answered after a moment. "I don't think he will try to prevent us."
“I would not wish to upset him,” Lan Xichen said. He was careful of Temeraire in many ways, wanting very much for the dragon to approve of him. It had taken a bit of convincing, after all, for Temeraire to concede that Laurence getting married might be a good thing, and that marriage was still so new. As much as Lan Xichen would like to take off early, he could recognize that it might not actually be the best thing in the long run.
“Perhaps it would be best to wait until the time we planned for. You will simply have to tolerate even more affection from me than usual in the meantime.”
“I’m sure he would not be upset. No more upset as he would be for us to leave at any other time. But let me speak to him. If he objects at all, then we will leave as we originally planned. But I do not think he will, and I am very eager to have you all to myself.” He nuzzled Lan Xichen’s hair, breathing in his scent. “But if I must wait, then know that I have an endless tolerance for the affections of my husband.”
“Then we shall see what he says and go on accordingly,” Lan Xichen replied with a soft smile. He could fall right back to sleep like this, he thought—or drag Laurence up into the bed for other purposes entirely. Either one seemed lovely. “Have you spoken to him since your memory sorted itself out, or was A-Xiang still sleeping?”
“He was still asleep. And I thought it more exigent to see you, and let you know that I had come back to you.” Temeraire could never have cause to doubt Laurence’s affections for him, no matter which universe his memories came from.
“Mm. Thank you.” A gentle nuzzle turned into a kiss right below Laurence’s ear, then another at his jawline. If Temeraire was still asleep, then they had some time before they would be called upon to be well-dressed responsible adults, and that tipped Lan Xichen’s choice between sleep and sex in one decided direction.
Laurence let out a low, pleased rumble, and turned his face so he could catch Lan Xichen’s lips with his own. He cupped the back of of his head with one hand, tangling his fingers in Lan Xichen’s silken hair, and with the other, he undid the tie of Lan Xichen’s robe with a practiced motion and slipped his hand within so he could feel the skin of his back below his calloused fingers.
Lan Xichen hummed with pleasure, almost a purr, and took another kiss. “I have gone an entire week without you,” he murmured before kissing Laurence again. “You should take me to bed and make up for it now.”
“With pleasure.” There was very little grace in the way that Laurence lifted Lan Xichen and deposited him on the bed, but if Lan Xichen minded, then Laurence would make sure that he didn’t presently. He had a week of neglect to make up for, and he intended to be very thorough in his duty to his husband.