InsaneJournal

It’s time to get up.

Nobody said that. Emme, in fact, did the opposite, encouraging Carol to take the time she needed. She’d been through a hell of an ordeal, and at the hands of one of her best friends, someone she had loved and trusted so completely for so many years. She had been a superhero for years, but not much else had taken a toll on her the way facing off against Wanda had.

She hadn’t even been able to escape on her own. If Peter hadn’t been on Wanda’s tail and swooped in just in time, there was a very real possibility she’d be dead.

At Wanda’s hands.

Part of Carol was finally mourning. Seeing Wanda properly for the first time in nearly two years, so lifeless behind the eyes, deaf to every word she said, no indication that she so much as recognized her, it had forced her to accept reality. She’d always had to learn her lessons the hard way – turned out this was no different.

She had fallen, but it was time to get back up. It was what she did, and even the hellscape they lived in couldn’t change that. She had to suck it up and get through this, no matter how much her heart ached with long-delayed grief.

So, up she got, and after assuring her wife she was just fine, she swooped up Marley and announced they were off to visit Kamala and Siyah. Her eight-year-old was eager to see her big sister and the baby, clinging to Carol’s hand as they trawled the hallways to find the Parker-Khan quarters.

Carol’s free hand rose to knock politely on the door before she twisted the knob and poked her head inside. “Hey, kiddo,” she called out, “up for some visitors?”

Kamala could never say no to visitors. Even when she was absolutely exhausted from both worrying over the state of Vallo and her friends as well as feeding, changing, etc etc with the baby. Time was so precious now, she was afraid of telling someone to come back later only to find out they died or became a thrall.

In her present state, she was lying on her side, Siyah right next to her on her back, little limbs kicking and eyes taking everything in. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the girl to stop being curious about the world and finally drift off to sleep.

If only the world out there was in a better condition for you.

She lifted her head very briefly at the direction of the door and smiled. “For you, always,” she said, starting to sit up.

Carol smiled, ushering Marley inside first. “Quietly,” she cautioned her daughter, waiting for a nod of understanding before she allowed her to pad inside and right up to give Kamala a hug. Carol followed her inside, closing the door gently behind her.

“Thought I might be overdue a visit after everything,” Carol said, following after Marley and leaning in to hug Kamala and tuck a lock of hair back behind her ear. “How’s the momming going?”

Kamala also moved over to make room for Carol to plop herself on the bed. “It’s going! I can’t believe these past few months have even gone this far. It’s like I blinked on the day she came into the world and now she’s this big.”

She reached down and scooped her up into her arms, a sense of calm coming over her right away at the contact. She positioned her then in her arms so Siyah can look outwards, allowing for Marley to come right over and play.

“Are you doing okay?”

Carol hunkered down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and wrapping her legs around Marley to make her giggle. The little girl was all-too-eager to fawn over Siyah. This kid was built for siblings, but Emmeline and Carol had never planned for more than just her. Even if they had, with the world the way it was now, with Marlene out there Thralled, they’d have foregone it.

Siyah was family, though, and Marley cooed over her contentedly, scrambling free of Carol’s hold to sit in front of Kamala and share a few scattered baby toys with her.

“Still here,” was Carol’s reply, flashing Kamala a weary smile. “Close call, but I’m okay, thanks to your hunky husband.” She gave Kamala’s arm a soft squeeze. “Guess I have to declare Spider-Man my favorite hero now.”

Kamala was smiling but it dimmed slightly, no longer reaching her eyes. She knew how hard Carol had taken it after Wanda had been taken over by the enemy, and it was just as bad as Peter had. She would never be able to forget the day he came home, looking absolutely defeated.

The memory still brought her pain.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t… I don’t know what to say to make it all better. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be better. We’re just all… trying.”

“Hey, hey.” Carol immediately noticed the shift in Kamala’s demeanor and shifted gears into comfort mode. Her arm went around Kamala’s shoulders, and she leaned in to press a soft kiss to her temple. “It’s no one’s fault this happened, and it’s no one’s fault it’s hard. It’s not perfect, but we have some good things to focus on, too.”

She smiled over at their daughters, listening to the way Marley babbled in a comically high voice at Siyah, her right hand making a sock puppet’s mouth move.

“I’m okay. I promised you’d always have me here, and that’s not a promise I intend on breaking,” Carol went on, her eyes turning back to Kamala. “You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. None of us do.”

Kamala leaned into the hug, forcing herself not to let herself get too teary-eyed. It was natural, of course, but since becoming a mother, she had the strongest urge to not show particular emotions in front of Siyah. Was it healthy? Probably not. But she would worry about that later, when they weren’t getting picked off one by one every other day.

“I know. I know… I just wish things were different.”

“We all do,” Carol sighed. None of them had expected to be dealing with circumstances like these and none of them enjoyed it. They had lost so many people, and nothing seemed to be getting better. But they still had each other, and there were plans in the works that might actually make a dent in actually changing things.

“But you’ve got a beautiful family, a good guy, and us, obviously. We’re always here for you, no matter what.” She eyed that expression knowingly. “You can cry here, and I’ve got you, babe.”

Kamala shook her head. She knew she could, but at the moment, she was caught up in watching Siyah and Marley interacting and her heart just melted. Instead, she smiled at them when they looked her way. “Not right now,” she said to Carol. “Maybe later but right now… they’re the ones who are keeping me going. And Peter too.”

“Later,” Carol agreed, turning to press a quick kiss to the side of Kamala’s head. She gently released her and reached out to snag another sock puppet. She pulled the blue and gray sock with glued on googly eyes down over her fist and used it to playfully snap at Siyah May’s nose. “Come on, let’s join in the fun.”

Kamala followed suit and moved closer to the babies along with Carol. For the next few minutes, she just indulged in focusing solely on them, smiling at their smiles, laughing with their adorable laughs, maybe pretending for a while that things were not so terrible outside of those walls. And eventually, Peter will come home and do some indulging himself.

After a while, as Kamala held Siyah May in her lap, posing like a chair for the toddler, she turned her attention back to Carol. “I don’t want to give up on them. I’m not going to give up on them. There’s gotta be something that we as a whole collective haven’t tried yet that just might work.”

“No one’s giving up,” Carol assured, shifting to make room for Marley as her daughter came over to settle against her again. She kissed the top of the little girl’s head and tucked her arms around her. Marley had been clingy on-and-off since Carol had come home looking beat up, but she was more than happy to indulge her if it helped her see she was okay.

“I think you’re right,” she agreed, settling back against the headboard as she met Kamala’s gaze. “We’ll come up with something still. Everyone’s got a weak spot, we just haven’t found his yet.”

Kamala nodded, and moved her hands over her daughter’s hair, what little there was of it. “Well, if we do… when we do… should something happen to either one of us. I want the other to take care of these girls together.”

Carol tensed. The immediate response on the tip of her tongue was to brush it off, assure Kamala that there was no way that was going to happen, that they would all make it through until they figured out how to fix this, and that was that. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t true. She’d just been tormented at the hands of one of her best friends in the world, and they had lost so many already.

She needed to stop living in that denial, even if it made her more comfortable. She had to be realistic, and Kamala was an adult with a family of her own now. She didn’t need Carol to couch things for her anymore.

“Of course, honey,” she responded softly. “That’s what Emme and I want, too. You’re Marley’s big sister. We’d want her to be with you.”

“Mama?” Marley looked up from Carol’s chest, brows furrowed and fear written plainly in her eyes. She looked like Emme more than ever with her eyebrows knitted together that way. “Are you gonna–”

“No,” Carol cut in gently. “I’m gonna be okay, baby girl. It’s okay.” She kissed the top of Marley’s head again. “We’re all going to be okay.”

Kamala, meanwhile, had been realistic for far too long. All her anxiety during the pregnancy almost made her think she’d go into postpartum depression afterwards but that hadn’t happened. She had Peter and Carol. And Emme, Steve, Nat, so many friends who were still alive. They didn’t let her fall too far into a pit of despair when she thought of what kind of terrible universe she was bringing her child into.

Now was the time she decided she needed to stop thinking negatively all the time.

She reached out to grasp Carol’s hand and give it a squeeze before going, “We are going to try our absolute hardest to make sure of it.”