dǫçţǫŗ şɭęęƥ (shone) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-04-27 14:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, ₴ inactive: allison hargreeves, ₴ inactive: dan torrance |
Who: Dan & Allison
What: Dinner without the grandkids and asking important questions (no, not that question)
When: Right after the age plot
Where: Thai restaurant on the waterfront
Warnings: Schmoop
Status: Complete
Not having a six year old to look after anymore was definitely something. Ava had only been there for a little while, but Allison had gotten used to it. It made her miss Claire even more than she already was. But at least she knew that Ava was okay and not off out in danger, a six year old lost and afraid. She was an adult woman and she was okay, but Allison was bound to still worry now. It was just part of the adventure, she supposed. Everyone was back to themselves now. Stan, too. But she’d been carefully avoiding the subject of their being grandparents together while everything with Ava was still happening because it was easier to just distract herself from it than really worry. Also since her mom was here, there was that to keep her from really getting into it. At least today she could take a break from mostly everything. She reminded herself to check in with Vanya soon just in case. But once that thought had been put into her mind, she focused on Dan instead. The Thai food was exactly what she needed and the alone time with Dan was, too. “Is it just me or is the lack of children feeling kind of weird? I mean, I’m glad we can go out to dinner whenever we want without having to convince someone to babysit, but I sort of got used to it.” It was kind of weird, Dan had to admit to himself. But he had a feeling he’d get used to it really quick - besides, it was nice to get to return to this particular Thai restaurant on the waterfront, the one he and Allison came to on their first date. The sauces and the curries popped with heat, the fried rice was served in a pineapple, and though the place didn’t do anything too outside-the-box someone like Dan (boring? No, surely you jest) appreciated how the more traditional flavors were done right. He had a Thai iced tea he was concentrating on, feeling the sweet caffeinated buzz start to work its way through his veins. “I still feel kind of bad about leaving Sabrina,” he chuckled, though he’d bring something back for her - she wasn’t a six-year-old, but sixteen was still so damn young. “But - yeah, it’s...Ava was a cute six-year-old.” They got to throw her a party and fill out a friendship survey, you couldn’t get much cuter than that. “Don’t think I got used to being a grandpa though,” he winced jokingly, setting the glass down to reach across the table for Allison’s hands. “Not something I considered to be in the cards.” “Sabrina will survive a night without us.” She had to hope that she wasn’t going to get herself into too much trouble. She’d noted her mention drinking, but she hoped she wouldn’t go overboard with it. “She was.” She was a mostly very awkward adult, but there was a part of Allison that wanted to look after her. She seemed troubled and if that didn’t fit in with their family, she didn’t know what did. Allison noted the wince. “Well, you were probably much older by that point, so you probably had time to adjust.” She fidgeted slightly before she placed her hands in his. “Well, to be fair, I wasn’t sure about being a grandma either. I mean, I had Claire, but with everything…” She briefly let go of one of Dan’s hands to gesture vaguely. “Apocalypse and then going back in time…” She didn’t know. She rested her hand in his again. “Didn’t think Stan’s kids would call me grandma, but...I guess we’re...more used to that.” She was curious about it, though. “Do you think things will still turn out the same if we already know about it? It’s the way I feel about going back in time back home. Will knowing change things?” Sabrina drinking alcohol was not something Dan was particularly wild about - it was one thing for a ritual or something, but another to use it as a coping mechanism. He knew where that road led - and it was nowhere good. The last thing he wanted was for her to end up down that same path. But she wouldn’t - he’d throw all the alcohol in the house away before that happened, even if it was hidden. It was real damn difficult to hide things, anything, from a mindreader. At any rate, he focused on Allison, fingers touching her wrists once she had lowered those actress hands, all dramatic gestures and punctuations; he found it amusing for some reason. Then he leaned back in his chair, considering the questions. “I think - well, we shouldn’t think too much about it. That’s not going to help either of us,” he decided on. “But I guess it raised a few...interesting points.” He studied her, so much there in sea blue eyes - shimmering, crashing, churning; what was going on behind them was a chaotic sizzle. “If Claire somehow showed up here, would you want me to be a part of her life? Is what we have...like that?” It was a good question, right? Maybe Allison just saw their relationship as something to pass the time. Something that would run its course, as many things did. He kind of hoped not, yet he figured he should inquire anyway. “You’re probably right about that.” If she let herself continue on the line of thought, it would definitely lead to a likely ridiculous amount of overthinking. It was why she tried not to think as much as she did about home and what was going to happen. Not knowing made her a little crazy sometimes, but she was doing everything to focus on now and here because she couldn’t change what was happening back home. If Claire showed up. It was one of the things that made her entire being feel like it was spread too thin and yet not at the same time. She wanted her daughter to show up so much. But it was the questions and the conversation that was important to focus on. “You’re very important to me. I think it would definitely require some work and hopefully not too much upset on Claire’s side.” She frowned slightly. “But I’ve enjoyed co-parenting with you. I think we managed pretty well. With Ava. I like to think we’ve done somewhat okay with Sabrina, too. Even if her Aunt is technically here now.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. “You’re kind of my favorite person.” A pause. “So...if that was something you wanted, I’d want that, too.” Co-parenting, Jesus. That was something Dan didn’t think was ever in the cards for him - when Eddie asked if he ever thought about being a dad, he’d answered honestly. No, he hadn’t - mostly because, in the past, he was too much of a trainwreck to even look after himself. He went from bed to bed, not really caring about who was in it, not caring about his own well being - there hadn’t been a chance to actually build something healthy, the way a relationship was supposed to be. Admittedly, he wasn’t sure if there was a set schedule of milestones - but so far, he thought that this was going just fine on its own, what he had with Allison. “Yeah, I think we did okay - are doing okay - at our practice runs,” he chuckled. Though Sabrina was a teenager, Claire was very, very young - a lot would be different but, either way, Dan would do his best. “I’m your favorite person, huh?” he smirked, delight glittering in his expression. “Do you love me?” Being that she’d done the parenting thing, it wasn’t such a new concept for her. It was just that she’d been a parent with Patrick and then she’d had that taken away. She understood why. She didn’t blame Patrick except in that he found any reason not to let her be involved and didn’t make exceptions. So parenting was less surprising. She knew Dan’s history, but she’d seen him in action with Stan, with Sabrina, and with Ava. She trusted him to help her raise Claire. After things with Ava, she trusted herself a little more with it, too. “But we can tackle that hurdle when it happens. Right now, it’s all speculation that the universe even likes me that much.” Which was still not something she really believed. “Yeah.” That smirk was one of the many expressions of his that she appreciated. Really anything confident on him was incredibly attractive and made her mind a little fuzzy. And then he asked if she loved him and she felt her heart stutter for a moment. “Why? Do you love me?” Because that was definitely the correct way to respond to that. Awkward, but make it flirty. “Or was you being my favorite person and the person I would raise other people’s kids and my kid with open to interpretation?” “It’s open to interpretation a little,” Dan smiled, a curve on his lips, a crinkle to those dimples and all - it reached his eyes, charming laugh lines at the corners more visible with genuine happiness (he had to wonder if those lines deepened over the years - they probably did, given that he had more reasons to smile here). But then he was serious - it was just that hearing someone loved him, well, it threw him for a loop a little. A swooping roller coaster kind of loop, all in good ways. “I love you,” he said, and that must answer the question. No one had uttered those words to him since his mother and that was vastly different - and sure, he’d loved Billy. In a platonic kind of way. He loved Abra, she was family. This was - well, yeah, it was real different. Felt like falling down the stairs, ass over feet, and landing in a pile of dazed limbs. “I think that glimpse into the future we just had was enough - “ So he definitely wouldn’t go looking on his own, “...but whatever happens. I’m here.” He couldn’t say for sure if Claire would be reunited with her mother. He just knew that nothing in Vallo made sense and pretty much anything was possible - so if that was the case, then he wasn’t going anywhere. She laughed at that. “Yeah, you’re right. I could definitely just kind of like you. Think you’re okay, maybe.” It was a little light teasing. I love you. And this time she knew he had to mean it because she hadn’t rumored him. It hit her different than any time that she’d heard it before and it made her feel both happy and sad at the same time. She looked down at the table for a moment, taking a moment to compose herself before she looked up and gave him a small smile. “Guess that settles that, then.” She nodded at his words. She didn’t want to go looking for more information. She’d rather figure things out as they went. “I’m here, too,” she said after a moment. “And I want to be there for anything that happens with you, too.” A pause. “And just since I didn’t really exactly say it, I love you, too.” Because she wanted to say it and not just be awkward about it. To be fair, Dan could feel it - her emotions rolled off of her in waves, but they were a tsunami hitting him, washing over him; part of it was probably what he projected out as well, his own love and, yes, a part of him was scared too but he supposed that was normal. He was grateful for the brief distraction which involved delivering dinner (oh yeah, they were at a restaurant, he remembered now) and the aromas wafting up from his drunken noodles tickled his nose. “Well - “ He picked up his fork, getting ready to spear some of those noodles (oodles of them). “I guess we’ll just take it as it comes,” he suggested, since he wasn’t going to try to predict what kind of magic would go sideways next. And also since they were having these intimate kinds of talks and moments, he glanced over at Allison, drinking in the image of her - like he wanted to freeze frame the moment. Thai food, dimly lit interior, waterfront, chili and lemongrass. “Do you still love him too?” Dan asked, referring to her ex-husband. He wasn’t sure why he felt like he needed to know - he just did. Allison’s attention was distracted for a brief moment from the conversation at hand when the food was brought over and she was quietly aware of the other people around them. She thanked the person that dropped their food off and took a sip of water before taking a bite of her noodles. “I think that’s what we’ll have to do. But I’m really going to hope that age alterations are a one time deal because I’m not sure I’m up for multiples.” She didn’t have to ask who him was. She knew he was asking if she still loved Patrick. She sighed. “I don’t know.” It was honest enough. Her feelings regarding Patrick were so confused most of the time that she didn’t know exactly how to sort them out. She knew she’d loved him, but she also knew that she could never know if he felt the same. If he really felt the same and with everything that was going on with Claire, sometimes she was sure that she hated him. But nothing she felt for Patrick changed how she felt for Dan. “But whatever we had is over. We’re always going to be tied together because of Claire, but...Claire’s all we have left.” If that made sense. He didn’t expect Allison to be anything but honest with him, so Dan wasn’t particularly surprised by her answer. “It makes sense,” he assured. “It’s not like I thought you’d say no - I mean, he’s the father of your daughter.” And he also wasn’t jealous or anything - mostly, he just wanted to know how she felt, that was all. Without having to make guesses or dig deep, or even read her thoughts. He didn’t want their relationship to be like that. And not like she could drop off her feelings for Patrick like tossing the garbage or old furniture out by the curb - the heart just didn’t work that way. “I just - I also want you to know that...I really can’t picture myself being a grandpa with anyone but you,” he added, a twinkle of amusement in his eye. “Yeah. He is.” And she couldn’t really be mad because she loved Claire more than anything. Which made the separation before and now worse, but she was dealing with it. She had Sabrina to help and she was now helping Ava. She wanted things with Dan to be different because she wanted them to feel real. So far, it was working. There was a hint of a smile and she rolled her eyes. “Grandpa.” It was never going to be less strange to think about it. Or maybe it would, but for now, it was. “And you keep questioning why I call you cute all the time.” Her smile grew a little. “Do you think we’re like...the cool grandparents or are we going to be making everyone eat oatmeal for breakfast?” Not that she didn’t like oatmeal. But from what she’d learned, oatmeal was not a sign of coolness with the younger people. “If either of us are cool it’s probably you,” Dan snorted a laugh. “I eat oatmeal for breakfast even now.” Hey, come on, it was good for you - lowered cholesterol, was a substantial source of fiber, decreased the risk of diabetes. Add some raisins or berries and you had it made. Like, for instance, he was debating what to bring back for Sabrina - probably green mango salad and something with protein (cashew chicken, maybe). Whenever he was in charge of making dinner, he’d sneak vegetables in so they weren’t able to be taste-detected very easily. So pretty much this was good practice for parenthood, if Claire were to join their lives all of a sudden. He hoped she would, for Allison’s sake. Dan nudged her under the table, playfully. “Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about being cool.” Allison smiled. “I guess if oatmeal for breakfast is any indication, I think you might be right.” Not that she exactly minded oatmeal, but she felt like she’d had oatmeal every day for breakfast as a child. Sometimes they got eggs or pancakes with healthy toppings, but it was just part of how things went. She nudged him right back. “I think it will definitely be a bit of work, but I’ll give it my best. Even if it takes a lot of time and effort and requires me to be around you even more.” Because she was just that selfless. Yes. It was definitely not about just being around him in the slightest. Nope nope. Absolutely a selfless and not selfish act. “Have you figured out what you’re taking back to her yet?” “I think I did. Something mildly healthy but doesn’t taste that way,” Dan teased. He just wouldn’t call it salad, officially, in front of Sabrina. ‘A mix of greens,’ perhaps. But he was glad to hear that Allison wouldn’t mind sacrificing some time to teach him how to be cool. She was just so sweet, wasn’t she. And maybe if he was just that good, he wouldn’t even need to disguise vegetables. A goal to work toward, at least. Didn’t everyone need those? |