WHAT: Catra admits her stupidity and does a lengthy love confession (after being stranded at the house due to a convenient blizzard AND finding old unsent love letters????), Christmas miracles are referenced, they smooch and make up WHERE: Adora's Not Real Childhood Home in Serendipity WHEN: Tonight WARNINGS: None but this is viewable on TV! STATUS: Complete
Adora had done it. With encouragement from Richie, she’d finally gotten up the nerve to say something meaningful to Catra. It had taken a lot of mental prep and she’d backed off twice before a word left her lips, but in the end, she’d done it. After three and a half years, and give or take a week of awkward silence, then minimal animal-centered small talk in their shared workspace, they were finally on speaking terms again
And she’d invited her to dinner at the family home. Tonight.
Which, yes, was last minute and probably a lot for one day, especially when they were still a little uncertain of how to deal with each other after so long apart. But she had Richie as an excuse. She’d told Catra how he’d just insisted on a dinner because he hadn’t seen her in so long and that she really thought it would make him happy (some of which was true, to be fair). She’d watched as Catra’s attempts at resolve quickly crumbled, and when the day came to its close, they were on their way home together.
Dinner had even gone well. Richie was nosy and prying and full of silly jokes, but that was typical of him, and it had eased some of that tension. She’d started to relax, and it seemed like Catra was relaxing, too. She thought she might even be able to convince her to stay a little longer and watch one of the many cheesy Christmas rom coms that were in high demand this time of year — they’d always liked to make fun of those together, growing up. It was a stretch but seemed like a viable option.
Then Richie had to go and be Richie and be all ‘Why don’t you stay over! For old time’s sake! Adora’s a little lonely, aren’t ya?’ with the waggly, not-at-all subtle eyebrows. And suddenly, the weird returned because it was hard to refuse. She tried to give Catra room to back out, but when she opened the front door and saw that the steadily falling snow had stuck and stacked — it was easily up to her knees — that kind of took the choice away for everyone involved.
So, upstairs to Adora’s room they went, the biggest room on the second floor, complete with an attached ensuite. It had been Richie’s once, but she’d taken over after he left home, and the bedroom that had once been hers had been turned into a home office. El had her own room at the end of the hall, too, but well, they didn’t want to invade her privacy either. That meant it was her room or nothing tonight, and they would have to make a concerted effort to not let it be awkward.
“Well, uh, I’ve got some pajamas you can borrow in the top drawer,” Adora began, gesturing toward the dresser across from her bed. She might even have some of Catra’s old clothes she’d never returned in there, too, but she didn’t expand on that. “And I’ll give you first dibs on a hot shower if you want it?”
Okay. So. This wasn’t exactly the room she lost her virginity in but - Adora’s old bed? Yeah, that was there that night.
Catra should have checked the weather more. Snow was coming their way but it wasn’t supposed to be this bad, except it heightened into blizzard territory last minute and left her stranded at the most opportune time. She should have declined the invite, the more she thought of it. Now thanks to a moment of weakness because she had missed this house, and wanted to see Richie (and maybe Adora) she was stuck overnight.
Stuck overnight sharing a space with her ex-girlfriend from fuckin’ high school.
It was fine. They were adults now, totally emotionally mature and capable of having a normal adult sleepover without any implications. Catra didn’t need to think about how she missed sharing a bed with her - missed her scent, the feel of her arms around her when Adora would insist on being Big Spoon. She didn’t get to have that again because she’d made her choice, broke her heart on purpose to let her go so she could follow her dreams. Figure out her life without Catra holding her back. Find someone better.
“Um - it’s okay,” she said, flipping hair over her shoulder nervously. Catra had this beanie hat that accommodated her ears, and a leather jacket over clothes that were so tight they were more like a second skin. “I’m high maintenance after a shower. The - uh, the brushing. Plus you probably don’t have the products I use.”
Adora used to have them just in case, because she was always sweet and too thoughtful and knew all of her magicat quirks. But there was no reason she’d have any of that on hand anymore, so.
(There may have been an awkward fidget of her feet.)
“Right.” Adora nodded slowly. She remembered, very vividly. One of her favorite things to do when having Catra spend the night had always been brushing her out. It required a whole lot of patience, but she was an endless well of it when it came to Catra. She still had the products she’d used, too, but she didn’t want to push. Maybe she’d take a quick one first before trying to encourage her again. Or maybe she’d let it go until morning; they’d probably been pushy enough here for one night.
“Well, uh, make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna rinse off, but I won’t be long. And we’ll figure out the sleeping situation.” She might end up just taking the couch or making Richie share their parents’ room so things didn’t get any more awkward than they were already.
She flashed Catra an awkward smile and peeled her robe off her desk chair, where her backpack sat mostly unzipped. It tipped over a bit when she grabbed the robe, but she had already ensconced herself in the bathroom and closed the door at that point, oblivious as usual.
Catra tried not to think about Adora undressing beyond that door. Or - showering, because that involved picturing her naked and just… gods, yeah, she needed to quit it. Get over it, even if she’d never gotten over Adora to begin with. Alone in the bedroom, she let out a dreadfully heavy sigh. Privacy to change. Cool. Might as well take advantage of it, even if the thought of wearing her clothes again (always a little big on her) stirred feelings she really ought to snuff out.
Nothing was going to happen. Nothing.
The leather jacket was shed first, neatly draping over the desk chair because she knew how neurotic Adora was about neatness. Back in the day Catra would make a mess on purpose to get a rise out of her back-then girlfriend and usually the results were in her favor. She knew how to work with frustration very well. Now, she would work on making sure she didn’t purposefully disrespect her space for the sake of civility.
She would have worked on the other articles of clothing next, if she hadn’t noticed a splatter of papers that hit the ground from Adora’s backpack. An accident she hadn’t realized had happened - which was fine, Catra would just pick it up for her. So she knelt down, gathered them all in her hands and she would have worked on carefully stuffing them back if she hadn’t caught a glimpse of the words. If she hadn’t read Dear Catra, and if she hadn’t noticed that every single paper began the same way.
They were letters. Hand-written letters, dated through the time they were apart.
This was an insane intrusion of privacy and she should have rightfully minded her business except she couldn’t. She sat on the floor, tail flickering anxiously behind her and pupils wide like she’d struck gold and discovered something irreplaceably precious.
As promised, Adora’s rinse was quick. She didn’t waste time washing her hair while it was still relatively clean, but the stench of dog tended to cling to a person after over eight hours surrounded by them, so she gave herself a scrub with her citrus-scented products before stepping out. After that, it was a matter of going through her usual nighttime routine: hair brushing, teeth brushing, and moisturizing — nothing crazy, but by the time she was through, it had to have been a good twenty minutes.
She was fully decked out in University branded pajamas when she emerged, fuzzy socks and all, still toweling her long blonde hair dry, eyes closed. “Okay, so I can sleep on the fl—” The towel cleared her eyes and she draped it around her shoulders, eyes falling to Catra seated on the floor with a handful of papers in her hands.
“Oh,” she breathed, her cheeks turning pink as they suffused with warmth.
She really shouldn’t have packed those letters when she came home. They’d been living in her bottom desk drawer at school for the past three years, perfectly fine, but she’d gotten it in her head that maybe she’d give them to Catra this time around. Or slide just one into the Danvers’ mailbox for her, to maybe give herself an opening. She hadn’t expected Catra to come across them all on her own, without any explanation, but here she was.
It wasn’t that the letters were bad. If anything, they were a little sad, filled with a lot of ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’ and ‘I wish you were here’, maybe some ‘I don’t understand what happened’. But the bulk of the letters were updates about her life over the years, what school was like, what soccer was like, how unfulfilling this dream she thought she really wanted was, especially the first year. Things had gotten a little better with time, but without Catra in her corner, it had never felt quite right.
“I guess you’ve figured out those are for you,” she sighed, biting down on her bottom lip. “I didn’t think you would see them like this. I’m sorry, I know they’re a lot.”
It was a rabbithole of heartbreak Catra allowed herself to fall through, and for once it wasn’t even her own and - that made it worse, didn’t it? That these letters spanned three full years of Adora’s heartbreak, when she shouldn’t have been so hung up on Catra like this. She was supposed to move on. Forget her. Leave her behind and do amazing things without having an old high school flame tie her down. Breaking it off had hurt them both, and she had executed it with a stoic kind of cruelness she tried to pass off as mercy to keep her away.
It killed her that it worked. It killed her knowing that what she did brought her more harm than good.
Catra didn’t look up or act startled that she’d been caught up in the act. Her eyes didn’t leave the next letter she’d been reading, and by now they had tightened into this glare that didn’t exactly read as anger but more of - regret, maybe? Regret, and grief, and it was why they were uncharacteristically shiny and wet. She wiped them before a tear slipped out.
“You were supposed to get over me,” she choked out, thankful she didn’t completely change because maybe she shouldn’t stay. Maybe she should risk the snow and go; claw her way through the sleet and ice. “Did you? Eventually?”
The back of her hand went up to cover the lower half of her face as if she was doing her damn best to shut herself up and keep this rattled noise from escaping her mouth. Catra was afraid of her answer. She always thought that it was best that the answer would be yes, I’m over you but she was sure that if she actually heard those words for the first time, her heart would crumble into ash.
“No, I didn’t,” Adora replied without a second’s hesitation. How could she possibly have ever gotten over Catra? They had spent most of their lives building up to the relationship they were in only for it to be so abruptly brought to an end. There was no real explanation, no closure, and she’d left still loving her girlfriend with every scrap of her broken heart.
Hesitantly, Adora stepped forward, dropping down to sit cross-legged right beside Catra. She picked up one of the discarded letters, assuming it was one of those that had been read. There was still a good stack in Catra’s hands and a glance up at her bag told her there were still some that hadn’t escaped. She hadn’t written every day but weekly, at least. Sometimes more depending on how she was feeling.
“I never stopped loving you. I couldn’t, Catra. Even if I tried, I couldn’t.” She hadn’t expected to be pouring her heart out like this, but this situation was unprecedented, and the weight of it all was getting to her. Watching Catra get all teary-eyed didn’t help either, but she would have said it regardless. She had been wanting to say this for over three years, and there was no stopping it now.
“I’ve missed you,” she admitted in a whisper, biting down on her bottom lip as she met her ex’s mismatched eyes. “I know you probably don’t feel the same way anymore, and that’s okay, but I just - I wanted you to know. None of it was easy. Leaving - it wasn’t what I wanted.”
Oh no.
A dam within Catra threatened to burst, and the only reason why it didn’t is because she couldn’t let it. Becoming a weepy mess on her ex-girlfriend’s bedroom floor wasn’t how she intended to spend her holidays, but here she was, right on the precipice. The remaining letters were set on the floor, and she brought her knees to her chest with her palms now digging into her eyes and said (more like blurted), “I fucked up.”
Gods, she did. She really did. Selfishly, everything Adora had said was everything she always wished to hear but she never allowed herself to admit in wanting it. Wanting was never an issue with Catra. She just always wanted too hard, too much.
“I fucked up,” she repeated with a strained groan, head lolling back against the bed. “I fucked everything up, Adora.”
And even if she really did love her despite it all, somehow, she was sure that Adora would hate her after she explained herself.
Adora’s brows furrowed, her lips pulling down into a frown. She scooted closer, reaching out to wrap her hands gently around Catra’s wrists. She knew she was probably getting a little too familiar, but this was all age-old instinct at work. She knew what Catra curling into herself meant. The fixer in here had to reach out and soothe her and try to encourage her to relax again.
“What do you mean?” she asked, her thumbs stroking slowly across the thin fur at Catra’s wrists. “If you didn’t feel the same way anymore, you - I guess you did what was right for you.”
That was what she remembered Catra saying the most. I don’t feel the same way anymore. I don’t want you here. It was what had spurred her to veer away from the local community college and go back out to the city with the scholarship she’d been offered. She didn’t want to inflict herself on Catra if she didn’t want her. She’d thought she did, but obviously that wasn’t true, so she’d left.
“I tried to do what was right for you,” were the words barreling out of her mouth before Catra could even stop it. It was as if they were kids again, with her curled up and sensitive over something (admittedly she could often be the more sensitive one of the two) and Adora doing her best to provide comfort. This time, though, she definitely didn’t deserve it.
Not when she’d done this to them.
Tugging her wrists free and in an attempt to shrink into herself further with shame, her tail coiled wrapped around her ankles. “You were going to stay,” Catra winced, biting her lip. “I wanted you to stay. But I know how much you wanted that chance out of state too, and I didn’t want to be the person that held you back and if you didn’t go you were going to miss out.” There was a sniffle and she wiped beneath her eye before her cheeks inevitably dampened. “So I - I did the shitty thing, and made the decision for you.”
Catra didn’t want to. But growing up, always having been the one more prone to mischief and getting Adora into trouble - she was always the one people would whisper about, how all she was doing was holding Adora back. It didn’t matter what reassurances Alex tried to offer her. She ended up being convinced of it anyway.
When her hands were shaken away, Adora didn’t try to reach for her again. She couldn’t have if she tried; she was too busy feeling absolutely dumbstruck by the bomb Catra had just dropped on her. Her mouth literally dropped open and, after taking a moment to collect herself, she got to her feet and started scooping up the letters to seal them away in her backpack. She needed something to do with her hands and, well, this was creating a mess.
She wasn’t a silent treatment kind of girl, and that wasn’t what she was doing, but she did need a moment of quiet to process all of that. Catra may have had the best intentions in mind, but what she’d done — Adora didn’t know how to feel about it. She had been cruel and hurt her in a way that still affected her to this day. Her heart had completely shattered, and it still didn’t feel like she’d recovered.
She wasn’t sure intentions mattered in this situation.
Finally, after taking a deep breath, she spoke up, her voice quiet and controlled. “You shouldn’t have done that. It was my decision to make, and I wanted to stay with you. That was my call, Catra.”
“I know,” Catra whispered raspily, frozen in this small position she’d made of herself as she watched Adora stash the letters back into her bag - the letters still so freshly seared into her memory. Any flame of hope she had was snuffed out by this overwhelming anvil of guilt, and self-loathing, and just shame. “That’s what everyone told me, too. But by the time I accepted it you were gone, and - I thought it was too late.” I probably still am too late.
Adora had a chance to build something beyond her and how could she stop that, after what she did? Further proof that she did deserve better and not someone who sabotaged everything they had from this misguided belief of doing the right thing. In breaking Adora’s heart she’d broken her own, and she never recovered from that either.
Inhaling a deep, steady breath through her nose, Catra unfurled from her spot on the floor and stood up. “For what it’s worth,” she continued, reaching to grab her jacket and slip her arms through it. “Everything I said that night was bullshit. I loved you. I still do. And I’m proud of you - for all the stuff you were able to accomplish. I’ve kept tabs.”
Pulling her hair free from being pinned beneath her jacket, she flipped it behind her shoulders and then adjusted the collar. Catra could handle sleeping downstairs. Or at least waiting for the storm to stop and things around them to be more visible - she could hop from tree to tree until she got to Scorpia’s house. She didn’t think Adora wanted to have her around after this and gods, could she blame her?
“I’m sorry. For everything. For - doing this to us,” she finished grimly. “So I’ll just… go now. I’ll figure something out.”
Once her letters were safely ensconced in her bag again, Adora straightened up, watching Catra as she spoke with her arms folded across her chest. She was doing her best to keep her face schooled into a neutral mask because, honestly, she wasn’t sure which way her emotions were going to swing if she didn’t keep herself under control. She felt like a swirling mess of everything; she was angry and hurt and felt like she could start crying in the blink of an eye all at once. It was best for her to retain as much coolness as possible right now so she didn’t break.
She listened, though, and every word Catra said started chipping away at that cool. There was no one who really knew Catra like she did, and she could tell that it was all sincere. It was so easy to feel how weighed down with guilt and regret she was over the decision she’d made — and the one she’d shoved Adora into without her consent.
But she was also trying to leave? Immediately? Before they could even have some sort of conversation about this?
Yeah, no. That wasn’t happening. Adora wouldn’t allow it. No running away this time; the least she deserved after Catra had purposefully shattered her heart was for her to stay here and make it right. If everything she’d said was bullshit, well, she needed to prove it.
So, Adora moved in front of her and stood in front of the door. Part of her wanted to plead with her to stay, but she was in the power position here. She was the one who’d been wronged, even if Catra’s intentions were meant to be selfless.
“How could you have known it was too late if you didn’t even try to reach out?” she questioned. There was an unintended edge of harshness when she spoke, but she didn’t try to filter it out. She was angry and let it bleed through. “You had time before I left for school. You had time when I was in school. I haven’t heard from you in over three years. You could have made one attempt.”
It wasn’t as if she was actively trying to run, but maybe she jumped the gun in assuming Adora wanted her out of her space immediately. Obviously, she had questions. She had the right to ask them. She had the right to be mad while asking them, so she didn’t protest being more or less trapped in this bedroom - stuck in front of the person she hurt the most while also trying to protect her.
Catra’s hands shoved into her pockets, and she fought back this reflexive flinch from the tone of voice.
“I tried,” she growled a little. “I have about fifty-seven emails in draft that are meant for you. I know all of your stupid social media handles. A few times I’ve gotten drunk and sad and have called you from a payphone just to hear your voice and then hung up immediately after. I still have, like, five of your shirts and wear them all the time. Did you know Leon had to arrest me because I doodled our faces with graffiti in some stupid alley and I couldn’t deny it was me doing it because who else around here has cat ears?? My closet has birthday and Christmas presents that I bought for the past three years and never sent. Because every time I thought about it I just - chickened out, and figured that you moved on and who was I to push myself back into your life after all the things I said?” Her voice rose in pitch and volume and yes, she sounded upset but not at Adora. It was her own stupidity and insecurities that led her to this magnificent spiral of self-destruction. “You deserve better. I thought I was giving you a chance to get it.”
Before this, she thought she knew what it felt like to lose Adora for good. She was wrong. Now, she was sure she put the final nail in the coffin and hammered it shut.
Catra didn’t even realize she started to cry. There was no sob; just tears streaking down her freckled cheeks, flushed from pouring her damn heart out. “But I hurt you more than I thought I would, and I think we already established that I fucked up and I hate myself for it enough for the both of us. So, yeah.” Her shoulders squared like she was about to challenge Adora - to what, she didn’t know - and poked a claw to her chest. “Anything else you want to know, princess?”
Adora’s brain was whirring to keep up with the overload of information Catra was dumping on her. She’d emailed her but hadn’t sent them — just like her letters. She remembered the calls she’d mentioned; they were random and always hang ups, something she tended to forget between each instance. She had presents for her? She’d been arrested?! She couldn’t believe she hadn’t heard about that from Richie, but then again, maybe he wasn’t in the know on that. Or maybe he was trying to spare her the worry, hard to say.
Either way, it was a lot and her processing speed was legendarily not the fastest. But none of that mattered when Catra got closer to her and she realized she was crying. Getting snotty and huffy and doing her best puffed-up, ‘come at me bro’ impression, going so far as to start jabbing her in the chest, but — she was crying.
That broke Adora’s heart even more. All of that anger and upset dissipated in a heartbeat, and she reached out, cupping Catra’s face in her hands and brushing the tears away. “You never should have done that,” she whispered, but her tone was less serious now, more fondness and exasperation. “And you better never do it again.” She raised an eyebrow, as if daring Catra right back to challenge her, but she closed the distance and kissed the girl she loved with years of pent-up passion before any response could escape.
There goes all the fight that somehow accumulated inside Catra. Like it just - melted, and her brain short-circuited, and her body must have decided to hit autopilot because as quickly as she’d been kissed, she kissed back. Let’s not talk about this throaty moan she heard either, because while she was certain the sound - as embarrassing as it was - came from her she thought it was best that it wasn’t acknowledged.
Her hands fisted into her shirt on her sides, claws pricking at the fabric and suddenly Adora was pushed into the door with a pronounced thud. She was warm, and tasted the way she remembered even if this new kiss three years in the making was salted with tears but she didn’t care. Catra never thought she’d ever do this again. She should have never let her go.
Though Adora had said and you better never do it again and the words finally caught up to the part of her mind that was functioning with barely any logic. Her throat was tight, as if her heart was now somehow stuck there and she pulled away from the kiss but not away from Adora. She was breathless, panting a bit, with wide eyes and a purr that sounded too much like a motorboat. “You don’t hate me?” she asked, the words hushed with a tremble.
That sound only spurred Adora on and she kept on deepening the kiss, circling her arms around Catra’s waist, gripping the back of that leather jacket and keeping her close. It almost felt like nothing had changed, and even the tears falling between them didn’t deter her. She had been aching for this for so long. She’d never gotten a kiss goodbye, but she hadn’t wanted it. This one was better. This felt more like a ‘welcome home’.
It wasn’t until they absolutely needed to breathe that they parted, and she lifted one hand to cup around Catra’s cheek, gazing into those watery, mismatched eyes with a smile curling her lips. All those negative emotions had ebbed for now; they weren’t gone, but they weren’t overwhelming her like they had been. Her mind felt a little clearer, and that pit of unhappiness that had pooled in her belly was gone.
“I’m mad at you,” she replied softly, her thumb swiping beneath Catra’s eye to catch a tear. “And I’m hurt, and I wish you’d let me make my own decision. But I don’t hate you. I could never, ever hate you. I love you too much.” She bestowed Catra with another kiss, this time on the tip of that twitchy little nose. “I’ve missed you so much. I don’t want to miss you anymore, you big idiot. Okay? Please don’t make me miss you anymore.”
There was a sniffle, and a hiccup, and a rapid succession of nods. Adora being mad at her - she could handle that, they could get through it. As long as she didn’t hate her. There were no doubts though, not after that kiss and everything that followed it. “I won’t,” Catra sniffed again. “I won’t. I’m - really, really sorry. I’ll fix it. I’ll, um.”
Hard to continue when she was distracted by her lips and excuse her for not being able to resist, okay. Catra initiated this time, softer and every bit needy because she missed this too much. What a dumbass she was for messing it up in the first place, fuck. “I’ll come visit you,” she swallowed after the kiss broke. “We can facetime. You can come here for holidays or I’ll come to you, I don’t care. I’ll call you every day until you’re sick of me.”
Long-distance was hard but they could make it work. It was better than three years of silence and mutual pining, and she was going to take it.
Adora was a little surprised by how calm she was staying, but that was usually how it went with the two of them. One remained stoic, acting as the best sort of support they could, when the other broke down. It was nice to know at least that hadn’t changed. She could always hold herself together for Catra’s sake, and it didn’t even really feel like effort.
“I only have six months until graduation and I’ll come home,” Adora murmured, dropping her forehead to rest it against Catra’s. “But I’d love it if you’d come out and visit for a little while. I can show you around and introduce you to everyone.”
Her experience in the city hadn’t been all bad. She didn’t regret going; the opportunity was huge, and she knew it had been the right choice to go regardless of the circumstances around it. But the experience had been a little hollow without Catra around to share it with. And admittedly, some of the shine was gone now that she knew her hand had been purposely forced.
“Can we go to bed? As much as I appreciate being slammed against my bedroom door, I’d prefer to kiss you in comfort.”
“Oh - shit, yeah. Sorry.” Catra may have gotten a little excited midst the kissing, and part of her hadn’t wanted to stop because she’d been pent up and Adora was here now but she didn’t want to get ahead of herself. She pulled away and swiped at her cheeks a little furiously to dry them - she hadn’t cried much since she broke things off, and she was sure she could cry more if she let herself. Maybe later. Being weepy sucked and she felt a little shame from being comforted when she was the one that messed everything up.
That meant she actually needed to change, though. So for the second time that night she shed her jacket, draped it over the desk chair and went to pull clothes out from the drawer. A shirt, a pair of sweats. Catra didn’t even think twice about undressing in front of Adora; she just wanted to surround herself with the scent of her so the switch went quickly.
When she finished putting on Adora’s shirt, the realization that she should have probably changed in the bathroom hit her but, uh. Too late. That didn’t need to be acknowledged. “If some of the snow’s melted tomorrow - do you want to get breakfast at our old spot? To talk more, if you want.”
Adora was grateful that the tension and awkwardness had finally disappeared. She hadn’t expected the evening to go this way — hoped, maybe, but she had been convinced up until ten minutes ago that Catra really didn’t love her anymore — but she was glad it had. She didn’t like being awkward around Catra. Aside from Richie, no one knew her as well as her ex (or was it girlfriend again now?). She had hated being afraid to speak to her and having such a stilted (non-)relationship. She wanted this ease of Catra changing in front of her like three years of no contact hadn’t happened at all.
And her eyes may have lingered more than they should have. She wasn’t trying to be overly polite anymore, and Catra had a gorgeous body. She was allowed, wasn’t she?
“We can do that,” she agreed, pulling the towel free of her shoulders and slipping into the bathroom for a moment to hang it on its proper hook. She ran her fingers through her hair, smiling at Catra when she returned. Saving more of the big talks until breakfast would give them a bit of time to process everything that had happened without overwhelming themselves. “Do I get to hold you tonight?”
Adora was a sight for sore eyes, always - especially like this, with her hair freshly damp and dressed comfortably, that smile on her face. It took her back to the many nights they had before this with all their (constant) sleepovers growing up, but it wasn’t until they were much older that they held this intimacy that left a gaping wound in her when they parted ways.
That wound was beginning to close up, though.
In an effort to gain some control and dignity again and pretend she was not a sniffling mess anymore, Catra smirked. Got up close, invading her personal space in that teasing way she always used to do. “Yeah, yeah,” she chuckled (and even still sniffled a bit, goddamnit), pushing Adora gently towards the bed with the force of her body. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten my place as little spoon, ‘Dora.”
It had been so long, too long. As if she’d say no now.
Adora allowed herself to be pushed backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed. Then she grabbed Catra around the waist and pulled them both onto the bed, arranging them both perfectly in the middle. This almost felt too good to be true, but she wasn’t going to second guess it. For now, she just wanted to feel happy.
But a touch of insecurity still grabbed her, like a cold hand thrusting through her chest and wrapping around her heart.
“You’re gonna be here tomorrow, right?” she asked, tangling her fingers into Catra’s long mane. “No take backs?”
“No take backs,” Catra assured, and while she intended to fulfill her intended role of little spoon she made sure she was facing Adora for this. Her eyes needed to be on her - that way she’d know she meant it, and that way this whole ordeal would seem real and not some pitiful fantasy her mind would concoct in the middle of the night out of loneliness.
Arm draping over her waist and tail clinging to her thigh, she curled into Adora deeper. Held her tightly. Kept their faces close to the point where the tips of their noses were touching. “I missed you,” she murmured. “I have seven Spotify playlists dedicated to missing you, okay? I was stupid, so stupid, and I’m gonna make the last three years up to you. If - you know.” Her eyes shifted to look at somewhere else in the room, slightly flustered. “If you let me.”
“I’ll consider it,” Adora murmured with a contemplative hum. The fake hard-to-get act lasted all of five seconds, though, before a teasing smile curled her lips. Her hand shifted to grip Catra’s jaw and gently press her thumb into her chin to get her gaze back before she gave her a soft kiss. “Yeah, I’d like that. I want to hear all of those playlists, too. I could use some new sad music.”
There was no way she’d turn that down; she didn’t want to say she deserved it, but, well, didn’t she? Now that she knew the whole truth about what had happened, she wasn’t above letting Catra give her a little extra attention to make up for it. She wouldn’t milk it for too long.
Right now, she was content just as they were. She’d missed being this close together and Catra’s tail wrapped around her thigh, just to hold her that much closer. “Guess I’m not the only dummy in this relationship, huh?”
Yep, she definitely earned some snark after all of this. Catra was pretty sure she was never going to live this down but that was a small price to pay for the chance to fix it. “I think I’ve transcended beyond ‘dummy’ territory and straight to ‘fucking idiot’ territory,” she snorted, rolling her eyes. “So I’m going to have you beat forever on this, probably. It’s a literal goddamn Christmas Miracle that you want me back though - maybe you don’t beat me by much.”
Adora was always like that though, too soft and open and forgiving. And even being mad, she was still showering her with affection.
That reminded her of something.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to be in bed to kiss me comfortably?” she inquired with a quirked brow, cupping her cheek. “Because you’re definitely not kissing me enough.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, but I still love you and your stupid face,” Adora replied with a roll of her eyes. Maybe most people wouldn’t have given Catra another chance, but this was different. They had always been soulmates, and nothing was going to change that, not even years apart because of a dumb, trying-to-be-selfless move.
“Now, as to your complaints, I guess I can address those.” She grinned, leaning into Catra’s palm against her cheek as she brought their lips together in a slow, sweet kiss, happiness she hadn’t truly felt in ages warming every inch of her body.