InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "your mom"

David Rose is very uninterested in that opinion. (eatglass) wrote in valloic,
@ 2021-07-31 23:59:00

Entry tags:

!: text message, ₴ inactive: alexis rose

Texts to Alexis Rose

>> Do you think anyone ever died in this room?
>> Because I just noticed this weird rust colored stain on the ceiling above the bed and it’s probably just like old water damage but I feel like it could be blood.
>> You obviously didn’t live in this apartment that long, did you meet the previous tenant? Do we know they weren't a serial killer?

>> Sorry, I’m not like, drunk, I just usually text Stevie when stupid shit like this keeps me up at night and I already forgot and tried her and I didn’t know who else to text.
>> I also tried to text Patrick again to see if he wanted tea or coffee on my way to the store earlier.
>> This is not the first time I've done either of those things and I don't even mean when I was trying everyone when I first got dumped here.

>> Oh my god rereading that it is so much more pathetic than being drunk would have been.

>> I’m so drunk, and I definitely smoked crack with a stranger behind an abandoned warehouse a couple minutes ago. Just piles of crack. Mountains of it. Bunch of big old crack rocks.

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celebutante
2021-08-01 06:24 pm UTC (link)

>> Totally marginally less
>> And I'll send you a list of stores
>> Plus some potential meetup times for you and Skyhold
>> You can just come by, like, Cullen's not really into jousting for fun
>> He bakes an amazing custard-ey pie though!

>> Oh my god, Follow Us On Tweeters???
>> That's adorable!
>> Definitely keep some and there must be a way to upcycle the rest

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eatglass
2021-08-01 06:46 pm UTC (link)

>> I won't pretend to know what literal knights in shining armor do in their free time. He could have been really into jousting.
>> You are absolutely welcome to hint that he should make one of these amazing pies before I come, though.

>> Great, you and I can each keep a dozen and then I only need to figure out what to do with the other seven dozen. Because a copy of the order form was in the box and I undersold it, it's literally nine dozen.
>> There are over 100 coasters in this box.
>> Like, I will admit, this kind of made me feel better but the amount is excessive.

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celebutante
2021-08-01 06:52 pm UTC (link)

>> I will totally hint to him, except my hinting won't be at all subtle
>> You juuuust missed this like, pie contest that some of the Outlanders did
>> He won a ribbon for Most Unique pie or something, it was cute

>> There's an art center, they might be able to use them as supplies or something
>> I'm sure dad would be happy about the promotion for a motel that doesn't exist here and his boomer coasters being put to good use

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eatglass
2021-08-01 07:02 pm UTC (link)

>> What the fuck. Why do I miss a pie contest and get here in time for boring magic sports?
>> I feel like unique isn't always the most complimentary descriptor for food.
>> Like I would call Twyla's smoothies unique. But I trust that it was a good thing in this case because you don't have truly horrible taste in food.

>> They'll be about as useful for promoting the motel here as they were in the place where the motel existed. I don't know if you remember but they don't even have a 'tweeter' listed to follow.
>> The art center is a good idea though.

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	celebutante 2021-08-01 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	>> I'd say his pie is a million times better than the 'Surprise Me' smoothie >> It's not as sweet as regular pie, I guess, but I'd still recommend it >> I've been learning some more about cooking? >> I had help making him a strawberry shortcake for his birthday, but I did it >> I maybe know how to fold in cheese now >> No Tweeter, no Facebook >> Poor dad (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

eatglass
2021-08-01 07:28 pm UTC (link)

>> To make another Twyla comparison, at least I'm guessing his pie isn't a gamble of fruit or meat.
>> You didn't just go to a good bakery?
>> Who are you and what have you done with Alexis?

>> It's not like coasters are great advertising anyway, so the lack of any important information besides the business name didn't really make a difference.
>> How would you even use coasters to advertise, leave them in random bars and hope the patrons notice?
>> Obviously the coasters' 'true worth' was the laughter they inspired.

>> ...Thanks for humoring me in the middle of the damn night.
>> I know I basically said you were just a last resort replacement for Stevie but I'm not going to pretend that she wouldn't have spent ten seconds making sure there wasn't a real emergency and then told me to shut up and go to bed.

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	celebutante 2021-08-01 07:43 pm UTC (link)
	>> Not fruit or meat >> It's custard-ish >> And, god, I don't even know >> I think I prefer going to the store though >> Because ugh, baking is so messy >> If I hadn't of humored you, maybe dad's lame coasters wouldn't have shown up >> So like, you're welcome >> Anytime or whatever (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

eatglass
2021-08-01 07:58 pm UTC (link)

>> Thank fuck for that, I was starting to think you might be some kind of magic shapeshifter or something.
>> Like maybe you're just using Alexis' shape but you're the serial killer that definitely may have lived in this apartment because that stain is still there and it could still definitely be blood.

>> You keep being creepily sincere at me since I got here so it's kind of comforting that you obviously still don't like it when I try to be sincere either. Going off your awkwardness just now.

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celebutante
2021-08-01 08:02 pm UTC (link)

>> I don't even know how to handle myself when monsters are running loose, nevermind being a SERIAL KILLER
>> The stain may be blood though
>> I used to live next door to this guy named Ash and, yeah
>> He was covered in blood a lot

~~>>I walked you down the aisle when you got married--~~
>> Whatever
>> I'm not going to tell you I love you or anything
>> So don't expect it

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eatglass
2021-08-01 08:18 pm UTC (link)

>> Why was he covered in blood?
>> Don't answer that question I'm still hoping to sleep at least like ten minutes before it starts getting light out.
>> Ugh, this is the kind of thing you should just lie to me about.

>> Good, that phrase should be saved for special occasions, not just... thrown around like fucking confetti.
>> I already told you I love you like this year from my point of view anyway so you've definitely met your quota. Don't expect more from me either until your next birthday or other applicable holiday.

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