InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "how funny am i? HELLA FUNNY"

Tate Langdon was the darkness. (noble_war) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2012-12-03 17:16:00

Entry tags:

candy quackenbush, lulu, roy harper (red arrow) ii, tate langdon, wrex

Locked from all high school people

Uhh. I've had some really shitty dreams and it's given me a lot to think about, like...I don't want to hurt anyone or anything. Do you think it's better to totally back off the people that I might hurt, go get some help from a shrink, or WTF?

I'm talking it's gotten into some really dark, really shitty stuff already. I don't want to get into details over the internet, but I do want to know how people are dealing with all this crap or if it's making them go crazy. Is there some kinda shrink pill they can give to make people stop dreaming?

I'm not good at talking about things like this. I guess it might be better to ask people I don't know.

(Post a new comment)

	ultimafury 2012-12-04 01:34 am UTC (link)
	Do you want to hurt these people in your waking moments, or solely in your dreams? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:13 am UTC (link)
	I'm afraid of hurting them when I'm awake, but I guess I worry I wouldn't be able to stop myself. It's not like I really want to do that or anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ultimafury 2012-12-04 02:19 am UTC (link)
	Then yes, perhaps therapy will help you with impulse control. It can't hurt. And the fact you're asking others now is certainly a good sign. You're not all gone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:23 am UTC (link)
	~~Hell, I'm about to take off and just disappear...or...~~ Yeah, maybe. I think meds might help, too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ultimafury 2012-12-04 02:40 am UTC (link)
	The fact you know you need to try is quite brave. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:51 am UTC (link)
	I don't want to hurt anyone. I'll try anything, cuz I think this stuff can only get worse. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 01:48 am UTC (link)
	I've been going to a shrink. Not just for the dreams, but for other shit in my life that isn't helped by these things. Sometimes just talking to someone who doesn't give a shit about you helps. Makes them honest. But they have to be civil since you're paying them. Can't really fuck things up, can it? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 02:14 am UTC (link)
	Guess not. You really think that shit helps? Is there some kinda way that, I guess, my mom won't find out? Like free counseling or whatever? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 02:21 am UTC (link)
	It's helped me. I don't drink half as much as I used to. Ehn, getting your mom not to know is harder. You look eighteen, I can get you a fake ID. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 02:26 am UTC (link)
	Ok, but I turn 18 soon, on the 22nd. I guess I can just steal some shit and sell it off to pay for it, too. Fuck, my mom steals other people's stuff all the time and puts it in her purse. Might as well rip off the stuff she ripped off, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 02:39 am UTC (link)
	I go to a free place at UCIrvine, I can give you the address. Trust me, if she's crazy enough to be klepto, she's probably crazy enough to notice you ganking it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 02:43 am UTC (link)
	It piles up in the closets. She doesn't even do anything with it. I've already took some to pawn off ~~for drugs~~ before. What's the address? I'll go check it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 02:46 am UTC (link)
	[address] Oh, that kind of klepto. Charming. I know you weren't trolling for friends, but if you ever want to bitch at someone who barely knows you, I'm around most of the time. I'm Candy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. I think I'm gonna ~~skip school and~~ go check it out. And yeah. Mom won't miss any of her stash. I've been stealing from the bottom of the pile for the last four years. I'm Tate. Maybe we'll have a lot to bitch about. Let me try to get this stuff worked out and if it starts to tank, I'll give you a shout out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Good plan. I've got a place to crash if you need it, my old lease isn't up until the 31st. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 03:36 am UTC (link)
	I might need it to get away and think for a day or two, if that's ok. I've felt really pissed off at my mom lately and I don't think my sister needs to see me or my mom yelling and breaking stuff. I really don't want my girlfriend seeing me like this. She's already been through a metric shit ton of high school drama lately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 03:41 am UTC (link)
	Let me know when you want to hang out and I'll give you a key. There's a bed and a TV there still, but no computer, so bring a laptop or something if you've got it. We can stock you up with some food. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 04:18 am UTC (link)
	I've got a laptop and I can shove some food in a bag. You free tomorrow? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 04:51 am UTC (link)
	I can be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 05:13 am UTC (link)
	I'll meet you at that apartment around 11am. Is that ok? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kid toitshour 2012-12-04 05:20 am UTC (link)
	That's just fine by me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Kid noble_war 2012-12-04 05:22 am UTC (link)
	Cool. See you later. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	quadpower 2012-12-04 01:58 am UTC (link)
	There's no shame in getting help, kid. It takes a quad to do it, and is something to be respected, especially if you know something might be wrong. (Reply to this) (Thread)

noble_war
2012-12-04 02:18 am UTC (link)

Yeah, man. Thanks, I guess. It's like I can't fucking sleep and when I do this dream crap keeps happening over again and I don't...get what it's about. It's all fucked up like someone else looking through my eyes and stuff.

I mean, what do you do when you know some of the people that are in the dreams already? I don't want to hurt them when I'm awake. That's bullshit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quadpower
2012-12-04 02:24 am UTC (link)

I dream about being an angry turtleman leading an entire planet of angry turtle men and joining one of my best friends and her motley crew in a battle against a race of gigantic machines that commit galactic genocide every fifty-thousand years.

We just kind of have to accept that these dreams are happening and there are people we know in them. I don't mind a fight, but I'm not an angry turtleman and there aren't any Reapers coming to kill us all.

You're not whatever you dream you are either, just like someone else I know isn't going to level a city just because she dreams she does, or another person I know isn't what he thinks he is, and is a real person.

You're who you make yourself to be, here. If it means getting help, find it. There are a lot of people who want to help you. Let them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:30 am UTC (link)
	Alright, thnx. But, dude. Seriously? In your dreams, you are fucked up. I'll see what I can do, I guess. If I try this crap and it doesn't work out, I'm gonna fucking bail. It's better than messing everything up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quadpower 2012-12-04 02:31 am UTC (link)
	Only having two balls is becoming weird. Try to give it a chance, I'm sure the people who love you would prefer you to try, than not at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:37 am UTC (link)
	WTF. That is way TMI. If I wasn't gonna try, I wouldn't have posted in her for help. I'll give it a shot, but if the failboat sets sail, I'm jumping overboard and swimming. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quadpower 2012-12-04 02:38 am UTC (link)
	Good luck, kid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 02:56 am UTC (link)
	Thnx. Maybe don't talk about your weird turtleman balls. I think gay porn is hot and stuff, but that's superfuckingmassive random. (Reply to this) (Parent)

imnosidekick
2012-12-04 03:05 am UTC (link)

Hey.

You sound like me when the dreams started happening to me. I didn't go for help, and wound up in jail, hurting a lot of people by trying to keep away from them (weird contradictory thing, but there's a lot of ways to hurt people) , and really just made things that much worse by waiting. I'm still trying to get up the guts to get the help, but I know I need it. It takes a lot of guts, like Wrex said up there, to admit to this stuff, or to admit it to yourself, but it's one of those things where I think it's better to try it ahead of time.

Hey, I know we're just online strangers at this point but I'll make a deal to go if you do.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 03:09 am UTC (link)
	Fuck going to jail. Do not want. Are you that guy that had the meltdown a while ago? I'm gonna try. Like I said, I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm afraid I might and this stuff isn't getting better, so I have to go do something. So yeah. You got a deal. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2012-12-04 03:52 am UTC (link)
	That'd be me. The guy who wound up on TV and everything for my meltdown. Don't become me. Okay good. Let's do this! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 04:33 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I don't want to be on tv or the news or anything like that. Ok. I'm working it out right now with someone, so I can try to get some help. You've got to do the same thing. Srsly. That meltdown was epic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2012-12-04 06:52 am UTC (link)
	That is awesome. Glad you're taking the step. Yeah, I did say I'd uphold that end of the bargain so I will. It was...not one of my better moments, no... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noble_war 2012-12-04 08:03 am UTC (link)
	I'll try it. Don't know how it's going to end up, but whatever. I'll try. Maybe we both won't have any meltdowns. (Reply to this) (Parent)