InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I don't need more shoes!"

Billy Kaplan (actualwizard_bk) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2019-09-12 11:13:00

Entry tags:

billy kaplan (wiccan), gareth visser, kara danvers (supergirl), wanda maximoff (scarlet witch)

Woke up with a stack of vintage comic books on the floor beside my bed. All issues I don't have. I know how I'm spending my day.

My dreams are still super weird. I mean, I'm definitely in New York but the Avengers are real and they've just disbanded. I know it's stupid but I woke up feeling heartsick because they'd broken up. I feel like I've just gone through a parental divorce or something, like the world's wonky. It's not real, I know that, and it's not like I can tell my therapist by the way I feel really crappy today because in my dreams my favourite superhero team totally just disbanded because everything's SNAFU in this alternate dream reality and by the way I can fly now, you know? I can't do that, so I'm just sort of left feeling like I've lost something even though I haven't.

I dreamed that someone called Iron Lad came from the future, I think? Anyway, he came and picked out a bunch of us to form the Young Avengers, which I guess makes me a superhero now? If that doesn't make me a superhero, I'm pretty sure the costume that appeared in my closet does, right?

I always thought I'd feel more excited if I ever developed superpowers but no one tells you about how to handle being able to fly if standing on top of a ladder freaks you out because it's too high. I can fly in the dreams and I levitated this morning when I was reading without really thinking about it. I guess that's something else to practise along with my electricity powers but I definitely wanna practise flight with someone who might be able to catch me if/when I inevitably fall. I don't wanna break my neck or anything.

I haven't mentioned these dreams to my therapist, but I kinda feel like I should. She wouldn't believe me, though, and I really don't want anyone thinking I'm losing my mind and having trouble distinguishing reality from fiction. It'd be better to just stop therapy altogether but my mom would start meddling if I did that and I'm not sure I can handle my mom deciding to fly out to California to shrink at me in person.

I don't know, I'm not even sure what the purpose of writing this up was. I don't really feel any better getting it out.

TL;DR dreams are interesting, I think I might be a superhero and probably need a new shrink.

(Post a new comment)

	lastof_krypton 2019-09-15 06:37 am UTC (link)
	If you want to practice flying, I would totally volunteer! I know how it is when you're learning to fly. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-15 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	Really? That'd be so awesome if you wouldn't mind. I'm kind of afraid of heights and pretty afraid of falling so knowing that someone could catch me would make me feel 100 times better. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lastof_krypton 2019-09-16 06:38 am UTC (link)
	Yeah sure! It'll be fun to have someone to fly with once you ace it after all. And I'll totally catch you if you fall. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-17 07:31 am UTC (link)
	I totally appreciate your confidence in me. It's definitely a when I fall, not an if. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lastof_krypton 2019-09-20 03:22 am UTC (link)
	Well, when you fall, you'll be in good hands. Let me figure out a place we can meet up where we won't be seen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-20 12:42 pm UTC (link)
	That makes me feel so much better. I'm still trying to work out the mechanics of how my powers actually work. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lastof_krypton 2019-09-25 05:08 am UTC (link)
	I know what you mean there. I know mine have something to do with the sun, but other than that, I only know as much as dream me knows. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-25 09:40 pm UTC (link)
	There's a lot to unpack in my dreams, I'm not sure i have time to do it all, but learning to fly properly is a good start. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lastof_krypton 2019-09-30 06:14 am UTC (link)
	I understand you completely. Dreams like these are definitely a lot to digest. Well I'm very happy to help you in any other ways that I can. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fears 2019-09-17 07:05 pm UTC (link)
	I am in no way a therapist, and I do understand the need for one, but if you just want to talk about things like that, and how they make you feel, I'd be happy to? It is odd how the dreams can leave you yearning for things that aren't really real. And if Kara isn't available, and you want to try, I can watch out for you while flying too. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-17 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	I'd like that, please. On, like, all counts of what was just offered. I'm 84.7% sure that my therapist talks to my mom about me anyway under the guise of professional peer reviews or whatever. Do you like hot chocolate? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-17 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	I think that might be a tad unethical on their part. The point is to make you feel secure enough to discuss anything without it passing the door. Peer or not. I do like hot chocolate. Would you like to get some with me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-17 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	I know, and I'm stuck with her because it's a condition of my- nvm, you don't need to know about that. Yes! Uh, yes, please. I would like that very much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-17 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	It's okay, you can share as much or as little as you want. I take it your mother vets all your potential therapists though? I'm free after class if you'd like to meet? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-17 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	My mom's a psychiatrist, so she tends to just... use her friends and professional colleagues? Definitely, that would be great! Which campus are you on? Omg I have class today. Ffffff. After class would be perfect. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-17 08:21 pm UTC (link)
	That's a lot unethical, you should be able to choose your therapist based on your needs, not what your mother wants. Can't you appease her by seeing someone you choose? I'm on Irvine, but it doesn't take me long to get places anymore, so I can meet you wherever. Maybe take one of your new comics? Then you've got a pick me up for getting through class. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-17 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	I've tried that one. It's someone she chooses or I have to go home. It's a long story. Yeah, maybe. ~~Not sure I can face class today~~ I can meet you at Irving? What time does your class let out? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-17 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	You would think, as a psychiatrist she would understand that is not a helpful situation. My last class is at two today, there's a nice place near the building that we could go. It shouldn't be too busy either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 06:31 pm UTC (link)
	You'd think, but apparently not. Mom's... protective, I think is the right word? Oh, cool, yeah, less busy places are better. More chance of finding a table and stuff. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-23 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	~~Overbearing seems closer~~ Maybe too much. But I suppose that might be what mothers are like maybe. Yes, and more chance we can talk rather than not hear each other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	Especially mine. She worries a lot. Yeah, thanks, Wanda. I totally appreciate it. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fears 2019-09-23 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	It's understandable. It's no problem Billy. I'll meet you outside class. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 07:04 pm UTC (link)
	See you later, thanks again! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	hiddenintellect 2019-09-23 06:52 pm UTC (link)
	So, I can't help with the whole sudden manifestation of powers thing, but I'm always around if you need to vent or y'know take your mind off everything. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 06:56 pm UTC (link)
	I mean, I'm totally gonna take you up on that. We have movies to watch still, right? Since we watched the scary one last time. Do you like comics? I mean, probably not, but you can come read them with me if you want? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hiddenintellect 2019-09-23 06:57 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, that's true. Still got a lot of movies to make our way through. Never really read them before but I wouldn't say no. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 07:04 pm UTC (link)
	You think you can suspend your disbelief long enough to watch the dark crystal with me? I promise I'll be quiet the whole time. I don't have many here, but I did just get a bunch if you'd like? I mean, it's cool if not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hiddenintellect 2019-09-23 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose I could try. I mean, you enjoy it and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least try to understand why? You in your room? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-23 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	It's really good when you get into it and stuff. I know you like the smarter stuff but I promise it's so much better than the trailer makes it look. Yeah, gonna be here a while. [Private] Hey, you feeling okay since briefly having powers? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hiddenintellect 2019-09-23 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	Alright, alright, I'll give it a shot. Cool, I'm just finishing up some things for class, but then I'll come over. [Private] Yeah, it's a relief. I mean I wasn't meant to have powers so it was weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	actualwizard_bk 2019-09-24 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	Cool, I'll be in until like, one thirty, so there's no rush. [Private] You don't know that you weren't meant to have power, I mean, you might have been meant to have powers and you don't have them yet. You've had a couple of weird dreams so far, right? At least you're not being dumb and mourning the loss of a fictional superhero faction. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Private]

hiddenintellect
2019-09-26 09:44 pm UTC (link)

Definitely had a couple weird dreams, but I'm pretty normal in those too. Just a regular high school kid on the verge of graduating only to be shunted into what I can only assume is an alternative universe or at the very least a parallel universe to the canon one we were inhabiting.

These dreams feel real, Billy, it's totally normal if you're mourning something that you lost in the dream.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] actualwizard_bk 2019-09-26 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	That... sounds intense. Shifting to a parallel reality must feel really weird. It's not normal though, because in the dream it's not like I know the Avengers personally or anything. At least not when they broke up. I just went to them - to her - for help with my powers. Ugh these dreams are stupid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] hiddenintellect 2019-09-26 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, it does. Really weird. Doesn't help that it seems like we're cut off from the rest of the world as well. Her? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] actualwizard_bk 2019-09-26 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	>.< You know if you ever wanna talk to me about your dreams you can, right? I'm a good listener and not just a selfish jerk, I promise. Yeah, the- um. I don't know how best to describe it. Her name's the Scarlet Witch and she's my favourite Avenger. And her real name's Wanda Maximoff and, uh, I'm going for coffee with her later. But she doesn't know who I am. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] hiddenintellect 2019-09-26 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	Selfish jerk? Not really something I associate with you, Billy. Huh, that's... complicated. Really complicated. Let me know how coffee goes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] actualwizard_bk 2019-09-26 10:20 pm UTC (link)
	I talk about myself a lot, I gotta get better at not doing that. I will but you're still coming over first, right? I'm not meeting her until later when her class gets out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] hiddenintellect 2019-09-26 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	I'm a good listener. Yeah, I am. Just got one more page of this essay to write then I'll be over. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Private] actualwizard_bk 2019-09-26 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	I know you are, but I gotta be better too. Cool, cool okay. See you soon then :) (Reply to this) (Parent)