InsaneJournal

Dear Diary,

A few blissful weeks of empty sleep did wonders for my grades and my mental state, but I somehow knew the peace would not last long. I dreamed again last night, diary and as I expected, things are only getting worse in Mystic Falls. Vicki is a vampire and she is volatile. Anything little thing can set her off and Stefan was trying to teach her control, tips to deal with the never ceasing blood lust, but it didn't work. Worse, everyone in town is searching for her and my brother wants to help because he's obviously in love with her. I tried to talk him out of it, but I hate lying to him. He doesn't deserve that, diary, especially after everything, but what choice do I have? Knowing Stefan's secret has turned me into a liar and I don't foresee me ever going back from it.

It was scary, Diary. I told Vicki to stay away from Jer because it just was not safe. She can't control herself. She didn't like that suggestion and she grabbed by the throat tightly. She released me, but I started coughing for real. I felt like I couldn't breathe actually. We all end up at the Halloween party and well, it gets so much worse. Vicki bites my brother. I try to save him, but she throws me away like a rag doll. Stefan comes, but Vicki runs off and I take my brother to go hide until he finds her. She finds us first and...she bites me. It hurt, the smell of blood, and the pain of fangs piercing my skin. I couldn't fight her off. If it wasn't for Stefan...Stefan staked her. He takes Jer home and I confront Damon. I slapped him, Diary, but he deserved it. This is his fault. All of it. He tells me to leave because I'm bleeding and he can't control himself. I lie to Matt again because I can't bear to tell him his only family is dead...

At the house, Stefan is devastated on the porch and when I go inside, Jeremy is broken. He asks why everyone he knows dies and what can I do? I try to comfort him, but it's not good. He isn't coming back from this unless...unless I make him forget. I ask Stefan too, but he can't. He drinks animal blood and can not do it right. Damon shows up and says he can do it if it is what I want. I say 'yes' and he goes inside to make my poor brother forget what happened. I wish I could forget and I tell Stefan that, but I can't because I don't want to lose the way I feel about him...

Well, that didn't last long...