InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "check your pms"

Wade Wilson rides the Oliphaunt (crimson_nutcase) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2012-06-18 19:41:00

Entry tags:

!complete, pinkie pie, wade wilson (deadpool)

Who: Wade, Pinkie Pie, and Gyros.
What: Gyros
Where: Gyros
When: Gyros
Status: Full
Rating: Gyros

An offer of food was something that Wade didn't turn down. He still wanted to pay a visit to his old buddy Neena but food took precedence. He knew a guy who loved Gyro's once. A bit of a hermit recluse. With 7 cats.

You'd take food over sex.

"Duh. How long have you been here and you have to say that? Pssh." Wade closed the storage unit he'd been sleeping in, applied the lock, and then snuck over the fence and into the world at large.

Run. Hide your chickens!

We should get a chicken.

"Fantastic idea, brain!" And so Wade resolved to pick up a chicken. He remembered something about Domino and chickens. She either loved them or they were her fatal weakness.

But right now, Gyros. With a lady who's skin was definitely not pink enough, though he had no idea why. He'd probably spent too many nights watching cartoons for girls.

So Wade and his brain walked into a Gyro shop.

(Post a new comment)

smilesmilesmile
2012-06-19 02:55 am UTC (link)

Pinkie had moved past snacky and into starving territory. She was wondering if the crazy guy wasn't going to ever show up and she'd die and become a mummy (which means she'd have to haunt and curse a gyro shop forever, and she wasn't sure she'd like that AT ALL) when a man bounded through the door.

Well, it was kind of a bound. Maybe more of a saunter. It totally wasn't a walk.

"HI!" she waved enthusiastically. "I hope you're Wade because I'M STARVING."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

crimson_nutcase
2012-06-19 03:06 am UTC (link)

More like a bounce!

"Starving! Nice to meet you, that's an odd name, did your parents hate you?" Wade took her hand and shook it enthusiastically, before bursting into song. The Feed me song.

You're embarrassing us. In front of the cute woman.

"Well she's no Bea Arthur," Wade assured his brain, after finishing the song.

"So. Gyros. Which are like greek tacos."

Why do I have to be the sane one?

"It's your curse, and your gift."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Bounds were like a bounce! "Naw, they loved me! They called me Diana but you can call me Pinkie. Or STARVING PINKIE let's get food! Gosh, I hope it's not cursed." Pinkie grabbed his hand and jumped up to the counter. Well, more a bounce. "A cursed gyro would just be weird." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crimson_nutcase
2012-06-19 03:19 am UTC (link)

They were completely different beasts! A bound is more like..superman. A bounce is more like jelly. Wade bounced.

Wade stepped up to the counter, grinning stupidly, "I'd like five gyros please. Don't hold the curse, that's the most delicious part!"

Her name is Pinkie.

"I know, isn't it awesome? You're so perceptive, yellow box!"

Pinkie.

"Oh, but hold the curse on the lady's gyros!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 03:22 am UTC (link)
	See, that was the sign of a true gentleman. "It's true, they make me gassy." It was fun! Lots of fun and silliness. Curses were totally not edible. She hopped over to the table with their number after paying for both their tickets. She had oodles of Grammys, and they gave you money for those. So it didn't make sense for her not to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Wade belched helpfully. And then stared at Pinkie like she was a sign from on high, becuase she paid for the Gyros. This could only be better if they were tacos. Or chimichangas. But they were greek chimichangas so it was all right. He peered at her back. Stop staring. "I'm looking for the overdrive switch, I think it's stuck to on." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 03:33 am UTC (link)
	Probably. "So did you just move here, Wade?!" Her smile was beaming; there were few things she liked better than making new friends. Not even chimicherrychangas. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 03:37 am UTC (link)
	"Smile..blinding..can't see...everthing going...dark!" Wade made a spectacle of falling to his knees and crawling towards the table. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 03:40 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie couldn't help herself. She was as silly as he was. "Oh, you!" She even imitated the guy telling that to his dog from the Internet. It was possible she had Memebase and Reddit bookmarked on her phone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 03:45 am UTC (link)
	He sat at the table, rubbing at his eyes like he was actually seeing spots now. Don't tell her you live in a storage locker. "I live on a storage locker! I've been around for..well awhile. You might have seen my internet videos? The ones where there's a dead pool of betters on if I live or not." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:07 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie tilted her head. "I don't remember that one, but it sounds bad. Did you win?" She said it so earnestly, forgetting that he obviously did since he was sitting in front of him. "Why would people bet on that?! What meanies!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:09 am UTC (link)
	Wade grinned at her, "I did stunts! Wild and crazy! Like girls gone wild with less tits. I was on girls gone wild once. I flashed my tits and everything." Maybe you shouldn't share that. "It was great! But yeah. Stunts." You also kill people. "Only the ones that deserve it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:14 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie just giggled, shaking her head. "You don't have moobs. Until you can fill out a B cup you can't call them tits. It's totally a rule." She tilted her head at him. "Only stunts when people deserve it? How do you deserve a stunt?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:22 am UTC (link)
	"No, killing them." He waved a hand, then made bang bang motions with his fingers. While saying BANG BANG BANG aloud. Then ratatatatatatattata like a machine gun. Machine gun pistols. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:24 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie's hands flew up to her mouth. "You killed bad guys?!" In Pinkie's world, no good guys would get killed by a guy she was getting gyros with. Speaking of, they totally just showed up at the table, and talk of death aside, that shit was delicious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:28 am UTC (link)
	"SO many bad guys!" He flailed his hands, like EXPLAINING ALL THE BAD GUYS. There was always collateral damage but Wade never thought about that part. It would make him sad. Wade didn't want to has a sad. Gyros. Hey. Wade. Gyros. "Sweet." Wade dove into the Gyros like he was a dying man. Which he was. But he was a hungry dying man! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:31 am UTC (link)
	See, bad guys! All was right in the world! "No, savory! A sweet gyro would be super duper weird." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:34 am UTC (link)
	Wade attempted to carry on a conversation with his mouth full. Not even the Yellow Boxes understood what he was saying and they gave up after the fourth Gyro. Wade swallowed, and finished, "And that's what really happened to the Mona Lisa." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:36 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie blinked, chewing her gyro a little more slowly. "Tell me again the part about the buffalo? I didn't know they were art critics." What? It was clear as day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:42 am UTC (link)
	Repeating the story, Wade flailed his hands for emphasis. Because flailing hands is how you emphasized things, of course! He even drew the buffalo on a napkin, and went into great detail about why they were so wrong about art. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie nodded along, drawing a little honey badger next to the buffalo on the napkin. You know. To give him crap. "Well, at least they learned an important lesson." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:48 am UTC (link)
	"The real reason Mona Lisa smiles." Story complete. Achievement unlocked! Wade was also out of Gyros, and he was still hungry. Assaulting his face with a napkin (which was the only way to describe it), he then stood, and pointed out the door, "My stomach demands tacos!" Chances of barfing later suddenly increased. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:48 am UTC (link)
	"I know the best place for tacos!" Grabbing his hand and taking off in a dead sprint, Pinkie raced down the sidewalk. It was only three or four blocks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:50 am UTC (link)
	She really does lack a shut off switch. "I know, isn't it awesome?" As they ran, he looked around. It sounded like they were being followed. Or maybe like typing. He looked in every place they passed, trying to find the source of this sound, then shrugged, "Tappity tappity tap!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 04:53 am UTC (link)
	By the time they were to the taco truck, Pinkie's hair had officially gone Every Which Way. She didn't care. Tacos were delicious. "Here we go!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 04:56 am UTC (link)
	Wade fell to his knees, as the first delicious tacos hit his mouth. This was heaven. This was the best taco he'd ever had, a taco unlike any other, handed down from god on high, to this very taco stand, and into Wade's mouth. "Ommmnomnomnomm...." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie was too happy with her own tacos to think anything was weird. "Omnomnomnomnomnom..." Well, to be fair, she probably wouldn't have anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 05:07 am UTC (link)
	"More.. more!" And Wade had more. Ten tacos in all, of varying complexities and ingredients. Wade had to try all the tacos. Eventually, he leaned against a building's wall, holding his stomach in a satisfied manner. "So why Pinkie?" You're an idiot. PINKIE. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie was sitting on the pavement, beaming up at him. "I usually wear a pink wig when I'm performing. The name stuck! I like it. Even my Mamma calls me Pinkie now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 05:13 am UTC (link)
	"Ever think of body paint? A full dye job? Then you'd REALLY be pink!" Tattoo balloons to her ass "Oh, no, that would be silly." Balloons on her ass, what kind of crazy idea what THAT? "What do you perform?" (Reply to this) (Parent)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 05:19 am UTC (link)
	"I did that at Bonnaroo one year! I was thinking if I get invited to South by Southwest I might do it again." She grinned, shrugging her shoulders. "EDM mostly, some trance stuff lately. Really been dreaming up some good stuff!" She always phrased it that way, because it was true. The songs from her dreams just got remixed. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 05:24 am UTC (link)
	"Sing for me! I sang for you, it's only fair." He had no idea what EDM was, or what trance was. Really, he was several decades behind the times when it came to music. 80s hair rock and Disco. While watching Golden Girls reruns. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-06-19 05:27 am UTC (link)
	So Pinkie did. Sure, she didn't have her laptop or Traktor, but the lyrics to Smile, Smile, Smile were happy and bouncy enough for her to jump around and sing it well enough. "GO ON AND SMILE!" She flopped next to him at the end, still grinning. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-06-19 05:29 am UTC (link)
	There was a massive one on Wade's face. It was impossible to not smile at that song. It was the best song ever. This is the best day ever. "Yeah, it is." (Reply to this) (Parent)