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Carrie Kelley (girlwonder) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-08-08 23:10:00

Entry tags:

carrie kelley, dick grayson

who. Carrie Kelley ~~[narrative]~~ and Dick Grayson
what. emoing because her daddy left her, that douche
when. tonight
where. NYC, high above the city

There was a cool wind blowing, which seemed much too strange for August weather and all too fitting for the moment. Carrie didn't really feel it. She wrapped her bare arms around herself more for emotional comfort than for warmth and didn't really notice the gooseflesh. Perched on the edge of one of the taller buildings in the city, Carrie was just sitting and trying to get all the tears out of her system at once.

As long as she could remember, she'd never really had any one permanent thing in her life. Her parents hadn't ever really counted, as they'd treated her more like a pet than a child. They'd come and go as they pleased. They'd ignore Carrie as their moods dictated. It had been the same with her friends. Back home, Carrie hadn't attracted the most loyal of friends. It'd been Batman who'd taken her in and taught her. Batman who had been her father and her friend. Carrie had built her life around him at the tender age of thirteen, giving up her normal life for something new and exciting and different. She'd done it with pleasure because Batman could give her forever. As long as she fought beside him, she'd thought she'd have him forever.

It seemed silly and foolish now. Just like everyone else, Batman had left.

He hadn't even said goodbye. Carrie might have respected that, if he'd come to her in the middle of the night and told her that he'd needed space. But she'd found out from a little piece of paper, a neat script that held no warmth or apology. It was all business. Just like Bruce.

For the longest time, Carrie had been Batman's biggest apologist. But she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to forgive him for what he'd done. So much bad had happened in the past few weeks. One of her friends had disappeared without a word and she hadn't been able to find him. Jason and Cassandra were in the hospital. The Joker was here. Even with him rotting in a cell, Carrie was scared.

And angry. Beneath all the tears and sorrow and fear was an anger that was just waiting to be free. Even as she cried, Carrie thought about the angry letter of resignation she would be writing Bruce upon his return. She thought about the new costume she'd make. It would be a fresh start that would cut all ties to Batman.

The one constant in her life was gone. Not only was he gone, he'd chosen to leave her. He could have twisted a knife in her back. That probably would have hurt less. Carrie felt fresh tears spring to her eyes a voice in the back of her head repeated the thought.

He left you.

He left you.

Carrie covered her mouth. There was no one else here. She was far too high up to be heard from the street. Still, she tried to stifle the noises coming out of her mouth. She didn't like to hear herself cry. Even with Batman gone, she was trying to be the good, strong soldier he'd trained her to be. She was daddy's little girl, even if daddy didn't want her anymore.

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gothamboy
2008-08-08 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Dick put his arms around Carrie. It hadn't been hard for him to find her. She liked to find high places to think, and right now she had quite a lot to think about. Unlike Carrie, he was in uniform; there was a slight bulge around his chest where he was bandaged from the fight with the Joker. And also unlike Carrie, there were no tears in his eyes.

Carrie was shaking with sadness and anger. He knew her well enough to recognize it. Dick was mostly feeling disappointment. It hadn't been unexpected. This was the kind of thing that Bruce did when things got complicated. When forced to feel more difficult emotions. He ran. Retreated, in fact; pulled so far into himself under the guise of the Mission that he could almost pretend he wasn't in pain. It had happened before and it would happen again, but Dick had been holding out hope that it wouldn't, this time.

He continued to hold Carrie, resting his head on her shoulder, until she was ready to speak. If she never was, that was fine; he could hold her all night and into the morning. As long as she would need him, he was going to be there.

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girlwonder
2008-08-08 10:42 pm UTC (link)

Dick came soundlessly. She'd started when he'd arrived and had tried to cover her face for a half second. In spite of her best efforts, Carrie was very much like Bruce. She liked to hide and run when things got ugly. Emotions weren't really her friends. Time in this world had started to wear that habit away. Dick had played a big part in changing her.

Before she could say anything or protest, Carrie felt arms around her. His warmth made her realize how cold she was. His presence suddenly reminded her she wasn't alone. For a long while, she just sat in his arms, crying on him. Carrie willed herself to stop, to no avail.

"He left," she said eventually, a mix of resignation and pain in her voice. There was a thick lump in her throat that made speaking difficult. Her cheeks were wet. She realized she must have looked and sounded like a child.