InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Listening to the news! Again?"

bloody_carrie (bloody_carrie) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-08-08 19:33:00

Entry tags:

carrie white, god

who: Carrie and God
What: Outside therapy/study session
When: Friday noonish
Where: a park somewhere in London

It was only really due to Firefly that Carrie was getting any sleep at all. There was always something in the paper about the killings going on and it seemed that every other night gave Carrie nightmares. In her room and with some of the teachers, she was able to practice her ability in peace, but even she was able to feel the effects of cabin fever. The good thing about a big city as opposed to a small town in Maine was that people generally chose to ignore you as you went along-which was just fine in Carrie's opinion.

The day was cool, borderline chilly even though it was sunny outside, it gave Carrie the perfect excuse to wear a long sleeves and trousers. Still not used to wearing pants, there weren't any skirts in her wardrobe long enough to hide her skinny legs in.

She found her way to the park, choosing a bench that stood near a path and pulled out a novel she'd started reading. Between passages she would on occasion look up to see those passing her bench. It had to be admitted that while she herself preferred to be ignored, she enjoyed people watching-better to know before hand if they tried anything.

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bloody_carrie
2008-08-12 03:16 pm UTC (link)

She didn't expect to be held, but when the woman did so, it was such a relief that Carrie didn't bother to hold back the tears forming. It was so real, not a charade as it had been with her mother, whose embrace felt as one who only did so because they felt obliged to.

I know..somehow, when you came over, I knew. No, I don't mind talking. she didn't mind the tears that fell from her eyes, they weren't forced, or made her face scrunch up like frog or dying beast. This is how she wanted to feel in God's presence: loved, not cowered, on her knees for fear of some nameless sin.

but she knows how I felt atleast. Being accused from birth, blamed..being called a sinner because of an accident.

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quirkyhumor
2008-08-20 02:24 pm UTC (link)

God stroked her hair, holding Carrie closely. This was what she needed most, to feel that affection, to know that someone cared for her. It was never easy allowing the horrible things that happened in the world, especially when they happened to people she now knew personally, thanks to this human shell she wore and the time she spent on Earth.

"It's true yes, that she knows how you felt. There are a lot of people here now in this world that know the pain of being an outcast because of their differences. And many of those people go to Taunton. You're not alone there."

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bloody_carrie
2008-08-20 08:14 pm UTC (link)

The book lay in her lap, closed, the place most likely lost.

'Not alone' That phrase held mixed feelings for her. She wasn't alone at Bates High school, or at home, but she would've rather felt alone than face the other students or even worse-her own mother.

Here, she had a friend ( even friends), she could actually live here instead of just existing.

Did she ever love me? the question scared her because it meant an answer. But she had to know, did her mother ever love her, or did she always see her as a Being she was forced to put up with until she died?

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