InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hey look, a penny!"

bloody_carrie (bloody_carrie) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-08-08 19:33:00

Entry tags:

carrie white, god

who: Carrie and God
What: Outside therapy/study session
When: Friday noonish
Where: a park somewhere in London

It was only really due to Firefly that Carrie was getting any sleep at all. There was always something in the paper about the killings going on and it seemed that every other night gave Carrie nightmares. In her room and with some of the teachers, she was able to practice her ability in peace, but even she was able to feel the effects of cabin fever. The good thing about a big city as opposed to a small town in Maine was that people generally chose to ignore you as you went along-which was just fine in Carrie's opinion.

The day was cool, borderline chilly even though it was sunny outside, it gave Carrie the perfect excuse to wear a long sleeves and trousers. Still not used to wearing pants, there weren't any skirts in her wardrobe long enough to hide her skinny legs in.

She found her way to the park, choosing a bench that stood near a path and pulled out a novel she'd started reading. Between passages she would on occasion look up to see those passing her bench. It had to be admitted that while she herself preferred to be ignored, she enjoyed people watching-better to know before hand if they tried anything.

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quirkyhumor
2008-08-08 10:02 pm UTC (link)

After her talk with Sam, God had the inclination to go stroll in another park, just on the other side of the Atlantic. She could feel the draw of confusion and the need of anonymity. She immediately identified her little Carrie, alone in the park and reading, but always aware of the people passing by her. Popping over to the park, she walked right up to Carrie and smiled, holding her hand out to wait for Carrie to shake it.

Forgoing the usual routine of speaking through text written on her Sidekick, God chose to speak mind to mind to the girl instead. She knew that Carrie would not be alarmed by it, and would feel just fine speaking telepathically. She projected her voice into Carrie's mind, and then waited to read her mind for the response.

'Hello, sweetheart. Reading anything good today?' she asked, a bright sunny smile on her face.

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bloody_carrie
2008-08-08 10:33 pm UTC (link)

Had this been the Carrie from a week ago, she would've certianly jumped up, but even a few days at the school prepared her for other people such as her. The telepathy bothered her even less. She could even send telepathic messages, but so far it had only been in times of stress.

When she looked up though, she could do nothing but pause. It wasn't that this woman spoke in her head, rather there was something else about her. Carrie felt as though she wanted to hold on to her and not let go. She resisted the urge though, thinking the woman might find her strange.

<*i>hello. It's ok..thought it'd be a nice change. <*/i> The book in question was Jane Eyre. Carrie found it somewhat comforting to read about another girl with an abusive family ( she recognized now the sort her mother was) and yet she couldn't help but feel jealous at how she was able to recover as she did.

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quirkyhumor
2008-08-12 03:04 pm UTC (link)

God felt Carrie's need for physical touch, and smiled as she sat down and embraced the girl. After a lifetime of neglect and abuse, Carrie needed love and affection in addition to the schooling she was receiving. Curling Carrie into her arms, she rested her chin on the girl's head and ran a hand lovingly down her hair.

"I know you haven't met me in person yet, so you don't recognize me. I'm God, sweetheart. And I'm here to just have a chat with you, or not. It's your decision. We can just sit here and enjoy this nice day, or you can tell me how you like Taunton."

Settling back on the bench, the girl tucked safely into her arms, God breathed in the clean scent of Carrie's hair, content to just be close to someone who really needed her. "By the way, Jane Eyre only recovered from her trauma so quickly because it was by far less than what you've been through. You're doing just fine, my dear. In time, you'll make a full recovery."

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bloody_carrie
2008-08-12 03:16 pm UTC (link)

She didn't expect to be held, but when the woman did so, it was such a relief that Carrie didn't bother to hold back the tears forming. It was so real, not a charade as it had been with her mother, whose embrace felt as one who only did so because they felt obliged to.

I know..somehow, when you came over, I knew. No, I don't mind talking. she didn't mind the tears that fell from her eyes, they weren't forced, or made her face scrunch up like frog or dying beast. This is how she wanted to feel in God's presence: loved, not cowered, on her knees for fear of some nameless sin.

but she knows how I felt atleast. Being accused from birth, blamed..being called a sinner because of an accident.

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quirkyhumor
2008-08-20 02:24 pm UTC (link)

God stroked her hair, holding Carrie closely. This was what she needed most, to feel that affection, to know that someone cared for her. It was never easy allowing the horrible things that happened in the world, especially when they happened to people she now knew personally, thanks to this human shell she wore and the time she spent on Earth.

"It's true yes, that she knows how you felt. There are a lot of people here now in this world that know the pain of being an outcast because of their differences. And many of those people go to Taunton. You're not alone there."

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bloody_carrie
2008-08-20 08:14 pm UTC (link)

The book lay in her lap, closed, the place most likely lost.

'Not alone' That phrase held mixed feelings for her. She wasn't alone at Bates High school, or at home, but she would've rather felt alone than face the other students or even worse-her own mother.

Here, she had a friend ( even friends), she could actually live here instead of just existing.

Did she ever love me? the question scared her because it meant an answer. But she had to know, did her mother ever love her, or did she always see her as a Being she was forced to put up with until she died?

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