InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The secret to life: Butter!!"

Alistair Therin (cheeseordeath) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2011-09-09 21:53:00

Entry tags:

alistair, aveline, cartoon plot, dani winchester, morrigan

So on one hand, my armor's back!

On the other hand I seem to have a permanent case of stubble now. No matter how much I shave it just stays there. Like it's made of rubber.

Actually, I think my sword might be made of rubber now too. That's not going to be very useful.

(Post a new comment)

	witchofthewilds 2011-09-10 02:04 am UTC (link)
	Perhaps the universe got confused about which 'sword' to emulate. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-10 02:07 am UTC (link)
	I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming. It was going to be you or Zevran. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	witchofthewilds 2011-09-10 02:08 am UTC (link)
	Really, you make it far too easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-10 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Walking straight man, that's me. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-10 04:16 pm UTC (link)
	As long as the armor isn't made of rubber. (Reply to this) (Thread)

cheeseordeath
2011-09-11 01:17 pm UTC (link)

Have you tried using a gun yet? I went down to the range to see what would happen, out of curiosity. The bullets talked. When I started firing, one of them pulled out a giant gun of its own--from where, I can't imagine--and used it to hit the target. Another bullet bounced off and then ricocheted all over the room before hitting the target dead center in the end.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-11 03:06 pm UTC (link)
	You should see the criminals. This man tried to shoot at me and all that happened was a little flag came out saying "BANG". (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 07:15 pm UTC (link)
	Huh, guess there is a silver lining to this silliness then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-11 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	Not that he would have shot me anyway, with the lack of aiming, but it was a relief. It seems like the 'criminal element' has become very silly. They go on talking about sinister plots, that really aren't that sinister, and make no sense. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 07:28 pm UTC (link)
	Ooh, is there evil laughter? And diabolical mustache twirling, and big black hats?? ...I might have discovered Westerns just before all this started. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-11 07:31 pm UTC (link)
	Ooh yes, it's all there. And a few "I'll get you next time!"s (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 08:09 pm UTC (link)
	Hah, that's great! I wonder if I'm allowed on basic patrols yet? I'll have to check, I want to see this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-12 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	You can at least do a ride along with me. I know you're more than competent. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	You're on. I hope I get to thwack someone on the head with this rubber sword. The sound effects it makes are priceless. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	vigilantknight 2011-09-11 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	Are any dressed in facepaint? Do they go by the name The Joker? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	coppermarigolds 2011-09-12 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	Haven't seen that yet, but I can keep you updated. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	daniwithani 2011-09-11 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	Ha ha! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 06:33 pm UTC (link)
	All right, which part of that was so funny? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-11 06:38 pm UTC (link)
	... yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	Dani. Come on, what'd I say? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-11 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	Nothing, you're just adorable! And now you're even more like a teddy than before! May I hug you? Platonically, I don't want your ladyfriends to stab me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 08:06 pm UTC (link)
	I don't have any ladyfriends! Well, I have friends who are ladies, but that's different. Aren't you the one with the tall, dark, and deadly boyfriend now? Point moot. Sure, you can hug me if you want, I'm not about to complain about getting a hug. But I think I resent the teddy bear comment. I'm not that squishy. Or if I am, it's temporary. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-11 10:24 pm UTC (link)
	He's my boyfriend like you have a ladyfriend, if you catch my drift. You're still squishy in the armor. It's just the pauldrons that have got pointy bits, I'd expect. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-11 10:26 pm UTC (link)
	That bad? All my sympathy. Armor's not supposed to be squishy. Actually, I'm not supposed to be squishy. Though if it gets me hugs, that's not a bad tradeoff. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-11 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	It's different. I'll tell you about it over a coffee sometime. I didn't mean literal squishy, I meant squishy as a synonym for adorable. I'm sure if I ever have to fight anything again, you'll keep it off of me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

cheeseordeath
2011-09-12 02:51 am UTC (link)

I wonder what effect caffiene will have while I'm in this state? I'm going to meet a friend and check the effects of alcohol. Will keep you posted as to the results.

I guess adorable is good. Is adorable good? Seems a bit...I don't know, demeaning. What about manly, sexy, that sort of thing? Something to make the women swoon? I should figure out how to do that.

...oh Maker's teeth, I'm actually considering asking Zevran for advice. Please, stop me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Maybe you'll bounce all over the walls! I'm sure someone else will think you're manly and sexy. It's just a woman by woman thing. If we all thought you were sexy, we'd have some sort of mass riot trying to get to you, you know? ... don't do that. Leather and crotch thrusts are not sexy. He doesn't even try anymore, he knows his accent does all the work. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 03:18 am UTC (link)
	From the caffiene? I'd like to try that! Mmmm, mass riot of women trying to get me...sorry, I'll just be distracted by that idea for a moment. It's a pretty mental image. It's so unfair. Most of us have to work at being attractive, and he manages it just by opening his mouth. ...and that sentence did not come out the way I meant it to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 03:42 am UTC (link)
	Maybe you'd do it more than normal? ... bloody, gory riots? No man can handle more than three women at a time anyway - trust me, I know - and what would you do with three billion? I know what you meant, honey. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 03:47 am UTC (link)
	Exactly! This needs to be tested. After the alcohol. I'll need a cure for the alcohol anyway, that should work. No, I'm not serious. I'd settle for one, if it was the right one. Ah well, perhaps someday. In the meantime it won't hurt me to have a reputation for being adorable, right? I'm sure you did. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 04:01 am UTC (link)
	Caffeine is a pretty good hangover cure, actually. I prefer black coffee and a cold shower. Lots of girls like adorable. I was engaged to a guy who was even more adorable than you, once. Don't worry, though, he shoots himself in the foot by being pervy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

cheeseordeath
2011-09-12 04:07 am UTC (link)

So do I. Some people advocate more hair from the dog that bit you, but I prefer to go the other direction and balance it out. If I'm drinking caffiene for the fun of it I want the sweet stuff, but for a hangover cure it needs to be black.

Were you really? I, ah, take it that didn't end well, given some of the things you've said about your history with men. But was it at least good at the time? I appreciate the note of hope there, anyway. Thanks, it helps.

True, true. And it is fun to watch. Though what really impresses me is the way he bounces back from everything. I don't think I've ever seen him disconcerted for more than a moment, if that.

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daniwithani
2011-09-12 04:16 am UTC (link)

Yeah, that doesn't work if you have to work right away in the morning. That, and society tends to frown upon people trying to order vodka at 8AM. Those people are alcoholics.

I was. Stefan was ... he was wonderful, but he was murdered. It's - not all women want manly, dashing men to sweep them off of their feet. Most of us just want to be understood and have someone stand by us. Good sex doesn't hurt either.

One gime he just walked up and grabbed my boob. I flicked his ear, and he fell over, but flirted with me on the way down. He's a miracle of nature.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 04:19 am UTC (link)
	No kidding. And I don't like alcohol that much. Or at least I like caffiene much, much more. Murdered? Dear Maker. Dani, I'm so sorry. But for the rest...thank you. I'll remember. And he did what? He's usually more subtle than that. Well, not subtle, more coersive, I guess. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

daniwithani
2011-09-12 04:26 am UTC (link)

I run on coffee. Once I worked for fifteen hours straight. I almost made out with the coffeemaker, I was so glad for it being there.

Sort of. A demon put the thought in his head for him to kill himself. I count it as murder. And it's not your fault, don't apologize.

Good. You're wonderful, don't let other people tell you differently.

Well, I mentioned I had gotten my first breast exam, and then BB grabbed my boob, and then he went 'oh, free gropings" and it was mostly funny.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

cheeseordeath
2011-09-12 04:34 am UTC (link)

I run on caffiene now too. I am a happy addict. If I ever get warped back to Thedas I expect to die of caffiene deprivation within a week.

That does count as murder. And it wasn't guilt talking, just sympathy. That's a horrible thing to go through and I wish you hadn't had to. You're a good person, Dani, one of the best friends I have here. You deserve to be happy.

Thank you. So much.

Okay, that one does sound funny. They examine breasts here? I am so in the wrong line of work.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 04:46 am UTC (link)
	A world without caffeine? I'm never going there! I'm fine, really, it happened a while ago. I'm happy most of the time. You help! You're welcome. Doctors do, yes. Women can get illnesses in them. It's not as sexy so much as it is pokey and hurty. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Glad to know I help then. Maker knows you help me out, least I can do is return the favor. What a depressing waste of a good fantasy. Though if it keeps the world filled with healthy chests I can hardly complain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 05:11 am UTC (link)
	Oh, hush, I don't do anything. I MEAN IT'S A TOTALLY SEXY AWESOME JOB WHEREIN THE LUCKY GUY SCORES. WITH BOOBS. ALL THE TIME. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 05:13 am UTC (link)
	Yes, you do. Frequently. Wow, and I thought I was a bad liar. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 05:20 am UTC (link)
	See? That you just did? That was dashing and fanciable. Just so you know. Hey, at least I tried! Actually, there is one job that's close to what you're thinking, but unless you replaced Hugh Hefner, you're screwed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-12 05:23 am UTC (link)
	Good to know. I'm not really worried about being fanciable, just frustrated by the current situation and bumbling around as a result. Thanks for being patient with it. I'll stick to my current job, I've never had a thing for bunny ears. Anyway, all women love a man in uniform, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daniwithani 2011-09-12 05:28 am UTC (link)
	It's sweet. And I have a similar situation, so it's not like I have room to talk. Yes, yes they do. I'm sure you'll be mobbed in no time, especially since you're in the States and have an accent. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

cheeseordeath
2011-09-12 05:36 am UTC (link)

Right, that's it, we definitely need to find another terrible movie with terrific special effects and catch up on things. Is there anything good (or bad) out at the moment?

Even if that were true, I don't really want to be mobbed. It's nice as a daydream but let's face it, I'd hate it in reality. Besides, I'd get footprints all over my clothes when I got caught in the stampede and they'd take forever to clean.

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	daniwithani 2011-09-12 06:19 am UTC (link)
	Shark Night 3D. It's sharks. ... ostensibly at night! Dry cleaners, Alistair, that's why they were invented. Well, probably not that specific problem, but they were designed to get out odd stains of indeterminable origin. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cheeseordeath 2011-09-14 02:21 pm UTC (link)
	Sharks in 3D, with no danger of them actually trying to gnaw my leg off. Brilliant. Let's do it. (Reply to this) (Parent)