InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Panic there's a disco"

Hermione Jean Granger (ex_enchantin428) wrote in ultrarpg,
@ 2008-09-07 22:43:00

Who: Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley.
What: Ron pays Hermione a little visit at the Library.
Where: Library.
When: Evening
Rating: TBD
Status: Incomplete.

Hermione really was in a weird mood. After her conversation with Ginny the other night she couldn't help but let those thoughts and emotions take control. Being in a relationship was something new and completely frightening to her. This was something she could truly fail at. What if she need up not being what Ron had really wanted? Logically she knew that she was more than just Ron. That if she and Ron didn't work out that there was a reason and she would continue on with her life, knowing that at least she tried. It was all such a strange line of thought. She and Ron had hardly been dating a week and she was already contemplating all sorts of things. Things she clearly had no reason to be thinking about.

Nestled back in the farthest corner at her favorite table she closed her journal. She did not need to be looking at that thing. She had come to the library to get things done. She'd been behind in her work and this was a perfect chance for her to get caught up. Ron, once again, had been her source of distraction. The last thing Hermione had wanted to do was fight with him, but it seemed that wasn't the plan for the day. Sighing quietly she rested back in her chair and pulled those out of control locks up into a tight bun. Her hair was frustrating her! Constantly falling into her face and Hermione had enough frustrations.

It was time to get back to work! Taking her quill in hand she began to chew lightly on the end. Her free hand flipped through the book of centaurs, trying to find exactly the thing she was looking for.

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red_knight
2008-09-09 11:08 pm UTC (link)

Ron leaned forward as he handed the box to Hermione, tipping two of his chair legs off the ground. He was hoping that orange lingerie would remind her of the night they'd spent together, which might make her happy with him again. She'd had no complaints that night, not with him and not with her little black lingerie. But .. of course, Ron misjudged Hermione's mood again. He took the look on her face to mean that he'd made another mistake. Perhaps it was because he'd given it to her in a public place, or just because she was in a bad mood already.

Ron sighed, ready to defend himself, when suddenly she spoke. He lost his balance, the hovering two legs of his chair hitting the floor with a resounding smack. He had not been expecting her to say that, not at all. Sure, he did think about sex quite a bit, but he was certain that Hermione didn't know the extent to which it occurred, and he was incredibly certain that Ginny didn't.

"What?!" Ron could feel his face start to turn red. He managed to keep his voice at a reasonable temper, but as a result all his words came out as an angry hiss. "Why are you talking to my sister about sex?! Why are you so bloody mad? Would you prefer I didn't think about having sex with you?!"

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-09 11:20 pm UTC (link)

It was a complicated mess of emotions. She really was happy that he had gone out and bought this for her. But she was hardly being grateful. She was just a tad bit embarrassed that Ginny could have possibly been right about how often boys thought about having sex. "Don't be so loud!" She hissed when his chair hit the floor. The noise, actually, was a good distraction for her emotions. At least for the moment. But the problem at hand wouldn't just disappear.

"Yes! We discussed how often boys think about it and what they think about when they're intimate," Hermione was breathing a bit harder now, trying to keep her cool. "Are you sure it's even me you're thinking about doing those things with!? Or even when we do things together!? And don't you use that tone of voice with me, Ronald! And watch your language!" She was on a roll. Hermione and Ron had one intimate encounter and she was acting as though this was something they did every single day, all day.

It also didn't help Ron's case that Ginny had mentioned that Ron was probably looking at other girls. "I know all about how you look at other girls and find them attractive!" Hermione was irrational.

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red_knight
2008-09-10 12:01 pm UTC (link)

Don't be so loud? Did she really just tell Ron not to be so loud while she sat across from him, huffing like she was absolutely devoid of oxygen? Ron had been having the strangest feeling lately, that maybe he was starting to make more sense than Hermione did, and that was wrong. He was supposed to be the unreasonable one, the one to jump to irrational ideas, the jealous one, the one who never thought he'd be good enough. He leaned across the table so he could hiss more quietly.

"You! You be less loud! Of course it's you I am thinking about, all the time, even when we are doing things together!" This was an awkward conversation to be having in the middle of the library. "My language is fine and so is my tone! I think it's you who needs to calm the hell down!" Ron's face was definitely red now. He had no clue why he was suddenly in trouble, but he was going to have a talk with Ginny later on to find out exactly what had happened.

"Listen, I don't know what kind of rubbish Ginny is filling your head with, bu-" Ron was cut off by Hermione's mention of other girls. Merlin. What was he supposed to do now? Lie to her?

"Of course I find other girls attractive, Hermione! Don't be daft. You're not the only girl in the world and I'm not blind! It doesn't mean anything! I'm with you! Surely you've looked at guys other than me." Ron coughed, though it sounded vaguely like 'Viktor Krum' when he did so.

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-10 03:51 pm UTC (link)

Hermione took one deep and calming breath. Had Hermione been able to hear Ron's thoughts she would have easily agreed with him. Well, eventually. Ron hadn't done anything wrong, but here she was accusing him. It was a terrifying feeling. For some strange reason she felt like it was slipping through her fingers and she couldn't grab hold. Another calming breath was taken as her fingers lightly played with the fabric underneath them.

"I am less loud! I'm much quieter than you!" She hissed, still not releasing the orange fabric. "Honestly, Ronald. Language." She was pushing and she knew it.

"And your sister hasn't filled my head with anything! Don't you go blaming her. She was the one who told me to talk to you if I had my doubts. She was simply explaining that some people act that way!" Poor Ginny. Her conversation with Hermione hadn't exactly come out the way she had probably intended. And Hermione truly wasn't trying to make it out to be Ginny's fault. It had just happened that way. But hopefully she could convince Ron of that fact.

"Oh, I know quite well how not blind you are. Well, at least when it comes to pretty, busty, little blondes." Some things still stung all these years later. Her free hand raised, pointing a finger at him. "Don't you bring Viktor into this. Just because you didn't get up the courage to ask me until the end is not his fault. It isn't his fault he noticed I was a girl and he didn't use me as a last resort!" Her bottom lip quivered a bit, but she quickly bit down on it. She only hoped Ron hadn't noticed. Being completely ranty and then crying wasn't something she really wanted right now.

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red_knight
2008-09-10 10:42 pm UTC (link)

"Honestly, Ronald!" He spat out his own name like a curse. How often had she said that to him? How many times had she ever said that, and not once had it ever been good. He had the childish urge to kick her underneath the table, or to reach across and take back the present. In fact, that seemed like a good idea. Leaning across the table, Ron tugged the orange knickers from Hermione's hands, putting it back into the box messily and closing it up. Why did everything he try to do backfire?

"What .. what doubts are you having?! What way am I acting?" He sounded almost hurt. "What did I do wrong?" But the hurt in his voice vanished when she started talking again. "Busty blondes!" Ron was incredulous. How dare Hermione bring up that waitress again and then go on to talk about Viktor in the next second.

"I didn't say that Viktor wasn't right in asking you to the bloody yule ball first! I just said that obviously you have been attracted to other men before, you didn't mind that Krum was fawning over you! You kept in touch with him for Merlin knows how long--" Ron cut himself off to give Hermione a suspicious glare. "You don't still talk to him, do you?"

He barely noticed that she looked about to cry.

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-10 10:59 pm UTC (link)

To say she was surprised that he yanked the fabric from her hands wouldn't be an understatement. For a moment her eyes narrowed at him. She couldn't exactly say that she blamed him. She should have thanked him and she should have just let it all go. But she'd been so wound up since her conversation with Ginny it hardly seemed like that was going to happen.

"I didn't mean doubts in that way. I just cannot understand the reasoning behind thinking about someone else when you're with someone. It seems very inconsiderate to me." None of this was coming out right. The guilt had started to set in now. She had begun to relent, slightly, until the entire Viktor issue was raised. She hadn't meant to hurt him.

"I was never attracted to Viktor! Did you ever consider that? Did you ever consider the only reason I really went with him was because I knew it would make you jealous. I just wanted you to notice me! You, you you!" Her voice rose ever so slightly at the end. It was the last question, though, that Hermione wasn't too keen on answering. How could she tell him now? Picking up her quill she looked away from him and began to write something on her parchment. "I hardly see how that is important now." Hypocritical? Oh yes.

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red_knight
2008-09-11 02:59 pm UTC (link)

Ron's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he spoke again. It was as if a thousand different things were trying to come out of him at once but he just couldn't quite get the audio to match up.

"If you don't have any doubts, there shouldn't be any problems! I didn't do anything to you! I never gave you any reason at all to think that I'm thinking about something else when I'm with you! Yanno why? BECAUSE I'M NOT." His voice was a little louder than it should have been, but even the library was packed today, so he didn't elicit the stares he would have normally. He couldn't believe that he was in trouble already.

"I just, I can't, why are you mad at me?! You're mad because of something you think I might be thinking when I'm not even thinking it?!" For a second Ron felt better, absolutely amazing really, when she told him that she hadn't been attracted to Viktor at all. He wasn't sure if it was foolish to believe her, but the thought of Hermione only dancing with him to make Ron jealous was a pleasant one. He was about ready to preen when she averted her eyes and picked up her quill, avoiding his last question.

Ron slammed one of his hands down on the table. "You DO!"

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-11 03:38 pm UTC (link)

For awhile all she could do was stare. Hermione really was making this hard on him. And the feeling in the pit of her stomach was not a good omen. Was she going to push him away before she was able to be hurt again? Was he going to leave her because she just couldn't let go of certain things? And they weren't even things he had done!

She cringed as his words escalated. Though she knew he was right she was hardly going to give in now. "Yes, well I hardly ever know what you're thinking! For all I know you could be thinking about ..Fleur!" Yes, his sister-in-law was a good choice. "And I'm not necessarily mad at you. It's your whole ..race! You do those sorts of things without thinking how it might make someone else feel! I know how men can be! I've read things!" A constant fall back, books.

A squeak was emitted from her lips when he slammed his fist down like that. "Yes, of course I do! What, Ron, am I just supposed to stop talking to someone because you could have possibly admitted your feelings someday! I have to cut everyone out of my life that isn't you!? You flaunt your obvious desire for other women in my face and I can't even have a friendship with another male! That's so hypocritical! I don't even see him! He owls me every now and again! There is nothing wrong with that!" Hermione's face was flushed and she had begun to lean forward.

The whole thing made her feel like something to be owned. "You do not own me, Ron. I'm not going to stop talking to him! So just accept it!"

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red_knight
2008-09-11 04:21 pm UTC (link)

Ron was sort of used to being yelled at and definitely used to getting into fights with Hermione, but he was not used to getting in trouble for something he had never even done. Sure, there were plenty of times where he thought he hadn't done anything wrong, but then later on came to realize that maybe possibly in some distant realm he could have perhaps been wrong. But not this time.

Ron listened to everything Hermione said with a hard, angry look on his face, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair even as she leaned forward. When he was confident that she would finally be quiet, he spoke in a low tone.

"If he's just a friend, why would it matter whether or not I have feelings for you? If he's just a friend, why wouldn't you bother telling me that you were still talking to him? If there isn't anything wrong with it, why are you acting so guilty?"

"I don't own you." Ron repeated quietly. He felt as if she'd slapped him across the face. "Nothing close to that." He pushed his chair back as if he was going to get up. "But you don't own me either, and YOU just need to accept that you can't control my thoughts!"

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-11 08:37 pm UTC (link)

Just as Ron was not used to this sort arguement with Hermione she wasn't quite used to this feeling.

The look on his face only seemed to spur her own anger on. "That was hardly what I meant Ron. Now you're just twisting my words around!" Her fingers closed around a few different books, rearranging them. Hermione just had to do something with her hands.

Surprisingly enough Hermione sat quietly allowing him to say whatever it was he wanted to say. She didn't interupt, just listened. That in itself could have been considered a small admission on guilt. When he was finished, though, she spoke to him in her own little Hermione tone.

"I simply meant that I feel like you expected me that from me. You expected me to rid myself of certain people in my life because YOU were jealous or afraid that something might happen and you'd lose your chance. That, by some miracle, Viktor would have been able to convince me that he was right for me. Not that you would have actually done anything while Viktor was actually IN my life." Hermione glared at him then, practically yanking the books off of the table and placing them in her lap.

If Ron was going to go ahead and leave then she was going to get ready to as well. "What bothers you so much about him talking to me, no, writing to me? I've been throwing myself at you for Merlin knows how many years now! I can't get much more obvious than that!"

The harshness of her final statement, the owning.. she hadn't meant it like that. In some small way he did own her. He dictated so much of her life that it would be silly to say that he didn't. "I hardly think I own you! And I know that I can't control your thoughts, Ron! Don't you think I know that? Don't you get it?" And truly wasn't that what she was most afraid of? That despite everything she ever did she couldn't keep his thoughts on her and someday .. he just might leave.

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red_knight
2008-09-11 09:01 pm UTC (link)

Ron looked at Hermione with something of a pained expression, spreading his arms in a gesture of confusion. He was giving up, the anger slowing draining from him just as the red drained from his face.

"No, I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Please explain it to me." There was a lot more he wanted to say, and it had to do with owning her and Viktor Krum and Lavender Brown and his own personal thoughts, but he wasn't sure what to say or how to word it. He was tired of Hermione being mad at him, especially when he just had tried to do something nice. Well. Nice may not have been the appropriate word, but he surely hadn't been doing it to make her angry.

It still made Ron's stomach feel vaguely fluttery to think about Hermione pining after him for so many years. He wanted to tell her that he'd felt the same way, that he wished one of them just would have DONE something, something more, a hell of a lot sooner, but how could he say that now?

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