InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I intend to fight it."

Hermione Jean Granger (ex_enchantin428) wrote in ultrarpg,
@ 2008-09-07 22:43:00

Who: Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley.
What: Ron pays Hermione a little visit at the Library.
Where: Library.
When: Evening
Rating: TBD
Status: Incomplete.

Hermione really was in a weird mood. After her conversation with Ginny the other night she couldn't help but let those thoughts and emotions take control. Being in a relationship was something new and completely frightening to her. This was something she could truly fail at. What if she need up not being what Ron had really wanted? Logically she knew that she was more than just Ron. That if she and Ron didn't work out that there was a reason and she would continue on with her life, knowing that at least she tried. It was all such a strange line of thought. She and Ron had hardly been dating a week and she was already contemplating all sorts of things. Things she clearly had no reason to be thinking about.

Nestled back in the farthest corner at her favorite table she closed her journal. She did not need to be looking at that thing. She had come to the library to get things done. She'd been behind in her work and this was a perfect chance for her to get caught up. Ron, once again, had been her source of distraction. The last thing Hermione had wanted to do was fight with him, but it seemed that wasn't the plan for the day. Sighing quietly she rested back in her chair and pulled those out of control locks up into a tight bun. Her hair was frustrating her! Constantly falling into her face and Hermione had enough frustrations.

It was time to get back to work! Taking her quill in hand she began to chew lightly on the end. Her free hand flipped through the book of centaurs, trying to find exactly the thing she was looking for.

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red_knight
2008-09-11 02:59 pm UTC (link)

Ron's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he spoke again. It was as if a thousand different things were trying to come out of him at once but he just couldn't quite get the audio to match up.

"If you don't have any doubts, there shouldn't be any problems! I didn't do anything to you! I never gave you any reason at all to think that I'm thinking about something else when I'm with you! Yanno why? BECAUSE I'M NOT." His voice was a little louder than it should have been, but even the library was packed today, so he didn't elicit the stares he would have normally. He couldn't believe that he was in trouble already.

"I just, I can't, why are you mad at me?! You're mad because of something you think I might be thinking when I'm not even thinking it?!" For a second Ron felt better, absolutely amazing really, when she told him that she hadn't been attracted to Viktor at all. He wasn't sure if it was foolish to believe her, but the thought of Hermione only dancing with him to make Ron jealous was a pleasant one. He was about ready to preen when she averted her eyes and picked up her quill, avoiding his last question.

Ron slammed one of his hands down on the table. "You DO!"

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-11 03:38 pm UTC (link)

For awhile all she could do was stare. Hermione really was making this hard on him. And the feeling in the pit of her stomach was not a good omen. Was she going to push him away before she was able to be hurt again? Was he going to leave her because she just couldn't let go of certain things? And they weren't even things he had done!

She cringed as his words escalated. Though she knew he was right she was hardly going to give in now. "Yes, well I hardly ever know what you're thinking! For all I know you could be thinking about ..Fleur!" Yes, his sister-in-law was a good choice. "And I'm not necessarily mad at you. It's your whole ..race! You do those sorts of things without thinking how it might make someone else feel! I know how men can be! I've read things!" A constant fall back, books.

A squeak was emitted from her lips when he slammed his fist down like that. "Yes, of course I do! What, Ron, am I just supposed to stop talking to someone because you could have possibly admitted your feelings someday! I have to cut everyone out of my life that isn't you!? You flaunt your obvious desire for other women in my face and I can't even have a friendship with another male! That's so hypocritical! I don't even see him! He owls me every now and again! There is nothing wrong with that!" Hermione's face was flushed and she had begun to lean forward.

The whole thing made her feel like something to be owned. "You do not own me, Ron. I'm not going to stop talking to him! So just accept it!"

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red_knight
2008-09-11 04:21 pm UTC (link)

Ron was sort of used to being yelled at and definitely used to getting into fights with Hermione, but he was not used to getting in trouble for something he had never even done. Sure, there were plenty of times where he thought he hadn't done anything wrong, but then later on came to realize that maybe possibly in some distant realm he could have perhaps been wrong. But not this time.

Ron listened to everything Hermione said with a hard, angry look on his face, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair even as she leaned forward. When he was confident that she would finally be quiet, he spoke in a low tone.

"If he's just a friend, why would it matter whether or not I have feelings for you? If he's just a friend, why wouldn't you bother telling me that you were still talking to him? If there isn't anything wrong with it, why are you acting so guilty?"

"I don't own you." Ron repeated quietly. He felt as if she'd slapped him across the face. "Nothing close to that." He pushed his chair back as if he was going to get up. "But you don't own me either, and YOU just need to accept that you can't control my thoughts!"

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ex_enchantin428
2008-09-11 08:37 pm UTC (link)

Just as Ron was not used to this sort arguement with Hermione she wasn't quite used to this feeling.

The look on his face only seemed to spur her own anger on. "That was hardly what I meant Ron. Now you're just twisting my words around!" Her fingers closed around a few different books, rearranging them. Hermione just had to do something with her hands.

Surprisingly enough Hermione sat quietly allowing him to say whatever it was he wanted to say. She didn't interupt, just listened. That in itself could have been considered a small admission on guilt. When he was finished, though, she spoke to him in her own little Hermione tone.

"I simply meant that I feel like you expected me that from me. You expected me to rid myself of certain people in my life because YOU were jealous or afraid that something might happen and you'd lose your chance. That, by some miracle, Viktor would have been able to convince me that he was right for me. Not that you would have actually done anything while Viktor was actually IN my life." Hermione glared at him then, practically yanking the books off of the table and placing them in her lap.

If Ron was going to go ahead and leave then she was going to get ready to as well. "What bothers you so much about him talking to me, no, writing to me? I've been throwing myself at you for Merlin knows how many years now! I can't get much more obvious than that!"

The harshness of her final statement, the owning.. she hadn't meant it like that. In some small way he did own her. He dictated so much of her life that it would be silly to say that he didn't. "I hardly think I own you! And I know that I can't control your thoughts, Ron! Don't you think I know that? Don't you get it?" And truly wasn't that what she was most afraid of? That despite everything she ever did she couldn't keep his thoughts on her and someday .. he just might leave.

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red_knight
2008-09-11 09:01 pm UTC (link)

Ron looked at Hermione with something of a pained expression, spreading his arms in a gesture of confusion. He was giving up, the anger slowing draining from him just as the red drained from his face.

"No, I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Please explain it to me." There was a lot more he wanted to say, and it had to do with owning her and Viktor Krum and Lavender Brown and his own personal thoughts, but he wasn't sure what to say or how to word it. He was tired of Hermione being mad at him, especially when he just had tried to do something nice. Well. Nice may not have been the appropriate word, but he surely hadn't been doing it to make her angry.

It still made Ron's stomach feel vaguely fluttery to think about Hermione pining after him for so many years. He wanted to tell her that he'd felt the same way, that he wished one of them just would have DONE something, something more, a hell of a lot sooner, but how could he say that now?

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