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Reuben St. John (godisindetails) wrote in toujoursliberer,
@ 2008-07-26 23:47:00

Entry tags:

character_development, fabian_burnbridge, reuben_stjohn

Reuben St. John : Visiting The Sick
Subject: Visiting the Sick
Who: Reuben St. John
Where: The Burnbridge Family house
Warnings: Some pervy thoughts
Open to: Fabian Burnbridge

Judge Burnbridge was out already this morning, and one of the menservants showed him upstairs towards Fabian's study. He knew his way already, so hardly needed to be show the way, but when he entered the room he was surprised that Fabian wasn't already there. He frowned, setting down his book bag on the table and looking about. There was no sign of the boy, or that the little study had been used yet that day. Everything was still neatly put away as it had been by maids. And then he heard voices down the hall, the voice of the Burnbrige's housekeeper.

He frowned, stepping out the room and glancing down the corridor, following the sound. It seemed to be coming from one particular room, and he tapped carefully on the door before opening it. Fabian was there, in front of a roaring fire, even though the weather was hardly cold outside. He seemed paler, shivery, wrapped only in sheets, naked aside of that. Reuben felt his pulse quicken and his mouth dry and he felt disgusted with himself. Instead, he stepped into the room, the thick steam clearing his mind but making breathing difficult. "Fabian?" He asked, glancing from the boy laid before the fire to the large tin bath, ice-cubes floating about in the water. "Fabian, what's wrong?"

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lonely_boy
2008-07-29 10:41 am UTC (link)

The boy made a soft, angry noise in the back of his throat, the memory still painful to him.

"I was reaching for one of the books in the library and I was on the little box-step, I reached too high and lost my balance. My legs and my back took most of the force." He explained, still feeling foolish for it. He knew better than to use the box-step for the books on the top shelf but he hadn't seen any harm in it, and then he'd tumbled and the sound of the fall and his screams had brought the maids and Mrs. Ramsey whose cure had been the ice-bath. And worse than that he felt weak because he hadn’t been able to stand after the fall and even now his legs ached.

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	godisindetails 2008-07-29 11:36 am UTC (link)
	Reuben sighed softly. At least the boy's legs hadn't given out from under him. That would have been more cause for concern (in Reuben's books, at least) than simply over-balancing. "You'll ask someone else to reach books down in future?" He asked as, with some difficulty, he opened the door to the boy's room and carried him inside. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-29 11:49 am UTC (link)
	"I feel wrong asking the maids all the time. I'm a man, I should be able to fetch my own books!" Fabian exploded, more forcefully than he had intended but every time he had to rely on someone else to take care of him he felt a little more emasculated. "Put me down! Put me down right now. I don't want to be carried like an invalid." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-29 05:17 pm UTC (link)

That was a rather shocking turn-about in the boy's behaviour. Meek as a lamb one moment, kicking out and shouting the next. "Oh, be quiet, Fabian!" Reuben said, after having tried to hold the boy still. "You're being stupid! But if you think you can walk yourself across the room without Mrs Ramsey taking you back in for that bath you can suit yourself!" He said, shifting as if about to drop the boy. "There's nothing wrong with asking for help, and you didn't mind asking a second ago."

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lonely_boy
2008-07-29 05:24 pm UTC (link)

Fabian stopped his tantrum, quite shocked that Reuben had spoken to him like that. He had never known the man be anything more than reserved and soft spoken before and being yelled at like that was unsettling. Even his uncle never shouted at him although he lectured and ranted and the servants had never spoken back.
“You…Rueben…you can’t talk to me like that.” He spluttered.

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	godisindetails 2008-07-29 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Why not?" Reuben said, setting the boy down on the bed- covered as it was in layers and layers of comforters, blankets and throws. Fabian certainly was spoilt, and Reuben had half a mind to tell him so. "Why shouldn't I tell you when you behave like a savage?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-29 05:31 pm UTC (link)
	"I wasn't behaving like a savage." Fabian muttered, ashamed now. "Why shouldn't I be angry that I can't do things like a normal person can? That I have to be carried and babied. I want to do everything you can - I want to go outside and run around, I'd like to learn to ride a horse or go to a dance but I can't do anything because my heart is to weak!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-29 05:36 pm UTC (link)

"The amount of shouting you do I'm not surprised!" Reuben replied, before he managed to calm himself down, and settle on the very edge of the bed. "You were managing fine before you fell. And you would be wandering about on your own now if you hadn't over-balanced. You should have realised it was too high for you- there is no harm in asking for help, Fabian, and you need to learn that. We all need help sometimes. And between you and I, I think you're getting stronger. Another few months and you will be running around, riding horses."

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	lonely_boy 2008-07-29 05:42 pm UTC (link)
	"Uncle will never let me! He thinks I'll do something foolish like my mother and die." Fabian spat, having worked himself up now into a state. "I hate her! I hate him! I can see why she was seduced. I'd let myself be seduced too if it brought me just a moments break from this house and his rules!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-29 05:53 pm UTC (link)

And the anger peeked again. The demons and the anger rolled together now, as if Fabian had promised now he would be seduced, he had been seduced, by a man who was not his priest. And before Reuben knew what he was doing, he had the boy gripped tightly by the shoulders. "Stop it, stop it!" He near growled, shaking the boy. "You are the most spoilt young man I have ever met, Fabian!"

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	lonely_boy 2008-07-29 05:57 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian was too frightened then to even scream. He had never, never had anyone treat him in such a way and the fact that it was Reuben whom he trusted frightened him even more. Finally he found his voice. "I...I'm sorry!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-29 06:05 pm UTC (link)

Reuben relaxed then, surprised and even horrified by himself. "I... I shouldn't have shaken you, Fabian." He apologised in response. "But you must never, ever, speak about your mother like that. Your uncle would be heartbroken, and..." He shook his head, moving a hand to his forehead, still able to feel his pulse. "Everyone is doing their best to make you better. It must be frustrating, but you must appriciate their efforts and accept their help."

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lonely_boy
2008-07-29 06:16 pm UTC (link)

Fabian took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He wanted to tell Rueben to go but he knew what the man was saying made sense, he just had no idea how hard it was to see everyone else able to lead a normal life and know the best you had to look forward to was a day out of bed.

"I'm sorry, Rueben. I know I shouldn't say such things about my mother. I do love her really, I just wish Uncle would understand I'm not her. I'm not about to leave him nor shame our family."

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	godisindetails 2008-07-29 06:27 pm UTC (link)
	"I think your uncle knows that you are not her well enough, Fabian." He says, looking down at his hands, folded together in his lap. "But he has to follow the orders of the doctors." "I have.... I've brought the books you wanted, at least. M. Rochester. And some other books that I thought you might be interested in." He said, hoping to clear the air. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-29 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian nodded. He wasn't sure they could go back to their respectable friendship after that outburst. Something had obviously changed between them but he didn't know what to do about it. "Thank you. What other sorts of books?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-30 10:27 am UTC (link)

"I thought you might appriciate one or two books that were... well, a bit different to the sort your uncle lets you read. When you aren't feeling up to going out these are the next best thing. You are a very imaginative young man so I thought you would like some tales of adventure." He explained, getting to his feet. "I left my bag in the study, give me a moment." He said, and disappeared for a few seconds, returning with the brown satchel. "One M. Rochester book, and two others..." He said, removing them from the bag and handing them over.

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lonely_boy
2008-07-30 05:55 pm UTC (link)

Fabian nodded, reaching for the books and he read the titles with a keen eye - words like pirates and blood and adventure featuring proudly on the front covers.

He licked his lips, looking up at Rueben. Although he was still a little werey from the outburst earlier but he had no other real friends besides Rueben and he didn't want to lose him due to a small moment of temper.

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godisindetails
2008-07-31 06:27 am UTC (link)

"Slightly more exciting than political histories, I hope." Reuben said, slightly nervously, not yet having sat back down, but stood in front of the young man. Fabian seemed scared, distant now, so so different from the beautiful young man curled in his arms only a few moments ago.

"Fabian... I... I'm sorry I shouted at you. Forgive me, it was the wrong thing to do."

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lonely_boy
2008-07-31 06:38 am UTC (link)

Fabian looked up from the books and bit his lip. Reuben looked so sad, so very remorseful and Fabian thought it must be much worse to have attacks of temper when you were a man of God - the guilt afterwards must be much worse than the guilt a normal man would feel.

"I shouldn't have said the things I did. I was being childish and you had every right to reprimand me. You are a true friend."

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godisindetails
2008-07-31 10:32 am UTC (link)

Reuben gave the boy a small smile, moving to settle down on the edge of the bed once more. "You were frustrated, Fabian, frustrated and upset and I shouldn't have been so short with you. But next time, to avoid the ice-bath, you'll get someone else to fetch the books, won't you? There's no harm asking for help when you need it. From God or from other people." Reuben explained. He'd spent half the night asking God to forgive him as it was, after his visit to the Theatre.

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	lonely_boy 2008-07-31 02:56 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian nodded, glancing quickly towards the door. He had forgotten about the waiting ice bath. "Sooner or later Mrs. Ramsey is going to come and find me and make me take that bath." He said, frowning darkly. Left in charge of his own health care those types of remedies would be banned and Mrs. Ramsey would find herself employment in a new household. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	godisindetails 2008-07-31 05:17 pm UTC (link)
	"Not if that ice has melted. I doubt she has another bath-tub full of ice in the house. And I'm certain that there aren't many places with that amount so late in the day." Reuben smiled slightly, "And if you rest now, perhaps your legs will feel better by the time Mrs Ramsey returns? Besides, you are meant to be studying now, not taking a bath, ice or not." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-31 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian nodded. "I feel a lot better now I'm not in such a state. I might be able to walk a little later tonight." He said hopefully. His legs still felt stiff and swollen but he was of the mind that if he used them more then falls like the one he had taken today wouldn't affect him so badly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

godisindetails
2008-07-31 05:38 pm UTC (link)

Reuben smiled wider still, glad to hear the boy so positive for once. "Well, perhaps we could help your legs on the road to recovery?" He said, shifting closer to Fabian, and patting his own leg, "Put your leg up." He said, rolling up his sleeves, "We'll see if a rub doesn't make you feel better." He told him, knowing that it was the demons talking, thinking for him, but surely rubbing the boy's bare legs might help Fabian feel better and thus such wicked actions weren't so terribly wicked...

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lonely_boy
2008-07-31 05:52 pm UTC (link)

Fabian couldn't help the blush that rose to his cheeks, even though he new that this was simply an offer from a kind man who worked hard to help those in pain and suffering. He was used to being touched - by doctors, nurses but he could not help but feel embarrassed. Rueben was so much more than that, he was a friend and Fabian didn’t think this was the sort of things friends usually did.

Rueben though must do this often, he said to himself, tending to the sick and weak.

He gently rested in leg on the man's lap, looking up at the ceiling.

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