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Reuben St. John (godisindetails) wrote in toujoursliberer,
@ 2008-07-17 20:42:00

Entry tags:

character development, reuben_stjohn

Call to Prayer
Subject: The Sunday Service
Where: A London Parish
Who: Reuben St. John
Warnings: None
Open to: All

The service went well. He hadn't tumbled over the delivery of the psalms, and his voice hadn't trembled through the lines of the Lord's Prayer as they had done the first time he had done the service by himself, with only the priest to watch over from the choir pews. Perhaps later he would admit to himself that he had not seen any of the faces in the crowd of parishioners, only the mass in front of his pulpit, and it had been as much as he could bear- the faithful faces of so many turned towards him, seeing him as holy, pure, untainted. He had caught himself once, on the verge of confession, but instead calmly managed to direct the congregation into the next hymn.

Now it was all over, thank goodness and light, and he could feel the tension leave his body as he walked down the steps, ready to bless his audience and talk to them individually on their way out. He hoped this wouldn't be as grueling as the service itself; normally it was hardly a task, but something today, something about the rustle of the wind in the yew trees in the grave-yard surrounding the church made him feel less at ease than he had been before, and he felt the nerves returning as he dried his sweating palms on his cassock.

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lonely_boy
2008-07-18 01:26 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, probably." Fabian agreed, glancing over his shoulder as if he expected to see his uncle bearing down on the any moment. It wasn't that he didn't love uncle Augustus very much it was simply that he wanted to spend some time with someone else for a while. "I think that would be a lovely idea. I wish she'd lived just for a little while so I might have known her."

He wanted to understand why his uncle was so devoted to her memory.

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godisindetails
2008-07-20 06:40 am UTC (link)

"I am certain she was a wonderful person. Your uncle has told me a little about her, not a great deal, but some. She sounds like a caring, sweet person. She would have wanted to bring you up." Reuben says, arm wrapping around the boy's shoulder in a comforting manner. "But now she's with God, and no doubt watching you and is proud of you." He told the boy, "Just as your uncle is proud of you. I think having you with him has helped him a great deal. If he had lost both you and your mother it may have broken his heart. You're lucky to have an uncle so devoted to your upbringing."

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lonely_boy
2008-07-20 12:56 pm UTC (link)

"I think she was very sweet, yes, but I don't know how much she could have cared for me, uncle says she's was unwell often." He said, leaning into the comforting touch.

It was so nice to be touched by someone who meant it purely as a gesture of warmth and consolidation. He was so tired of medicinal touches, prodding and poking and his uncle would hardly touch him as if he thought Fabian was made of glass and might shatter if he was too rough.

He looked up at Rueben, at his kind face and the softness in his eyes and felt a blush rise to his cheeks.
"We, we should sit down..." He said. Too long without loving contact had made him inappropriate, given him inappropriate thoughts.

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godisindetails
2008-07-20 02:25 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know. Perhaps a child to take care of would have eased her recovery." He suggests, leading the boy towards the bench and letting him settle down, his arm slipping away from around Fabian, sitting down next to him. "Perhaps you could have helped each other. But no matter. You're getting better, your uncle tells me so, and that's the important thing now."

Fabian's cheeks had gone red through excersion. Clearly the walk up the sloping path to the bench had tired him, and Reuben could almost sence the boy's quickened pulse. He knew, then, he should have kept his mind blank, those images of the writhing, squirming groaning boy reimerging in his mind with double the potancy. He almost jumped up from the bench, but instead took a deep breath and forced the demons back again, away, far away. "Better not exhuat yourself, Fabian, or your uncle will suspect me of chasing you up and down the hill."

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lonely_boy
2008-07-20 02:56 pm UTC (link)

"I don't think so, her illness was in her head. I'm not sure anything could have been done to help her." Fabian said. He knew he sounded harsh, almost cruel when he spoke about his mother and he didn't mean to be. She had been an innocent, undeserving of her fate but he was so tired of being always judged by her standards. He glanced at Rueben, smiling widely.

"Really? He said that? I wish he'd say the same to me. I do feel I could stand a little more time outside or maybe a few more visits from friends."

He laughed, gripping the wood of the bench to remind himself how silly he had been a moment ago. Rueben was so kind, it was only natural he might react more to that kindness then was intended. "No, never. Uncle trusts you."

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godisindetails
2008-07-21 09:29 am UTC (link)

Reuben smiled slightly, patting the boy's knee. "I think you and your uncle together would have helped her enough. But we can not change the world or what has come before." He said, hand coming to rest on Fabian's leg.

"He said that. But perhaps he and your physicans don't yet you believe you well enough to venture too far." Reuben explained. Personally, he believed that the boy was much better than he had been, well enough to venture out now, as long as there was someone was there to ensure Fabian did not get into diffeculty. "I think your uncle trusts me, a little. Enough to look after you on occasions. Perhaps he will allow me to take you to the library at some point, if you continue to get better like you have been."

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	lonely_boy 2008-07-21 09:46 am UTC (link)
	Fabian glanced up at him, the strange warm feeling spreading through him again and he gently pushed Rueben's hand away but he gripped it at Rueben's next words. "I would love to go to the library. Do you think we could?" He asked, eyes wide with excitement. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	godisindetails 2008-07-21 10:45 am UTC (link)
	"I am sure we could ask your uncle and see if we might go to further your studies. He may insist we take a carriage there and back, but an afternoon in a library might do you good. I shall ask him, next time I come to see you." He promises, lips also turning upwards in a smile, as if the boy's excitement was contagious. "Would you like that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-21 11:05 am UTC (link)
	"Oh, would you really?" He asked, thinking what a kind friend he had in Rueben. Fabian didn't think there were that many men in the world who would risk his uncle's possible wrath over a short half-day trip but Rueben obviously had the love of God - it gave him an almost serene appearance. He never had to be afraid of anything. "I would love to!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	godisindetails 2008-07-22 10:43 am UTC (link)
	"I would, Fabian. There's no reason you shouldn't go to the library and expand your knowledge. Your uncle will understand that." Reuben smiled, patting the boys knee again. "And you'll be taken care of properly and looked after, you have my word." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lonely_boy
2008-07-22 10:57 am UTC (link)

Fabian smiled, leaning back against the bench - a day out in the library with only Reuben to guide him. He'd be allowed to look at any book that took his interest. He might be allowed a little fiction for a change. "You should ask him as soon as he gets here." Fabian said, sitting up and looking down to were they had been in case Augustus was already looking for them.

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godisindetails
2008-07-22 12:03 pm UTC (link)

"I don't think that it would be best to ask him now, Fabian." Reuben had to point out, although the idea of spending the afternoon with the boy, without any hinderance from his over-bearing uncle was making his heart pound. "I shall ask your uncle afterwards. I don't think he'd want to be asked at the moment, considering what you and he are here to do. Your uncle always seems very preoccupied on Sundays."

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	lonely_boy 2008-07-22 01:07 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian's excited expression faded and he settled back against the bench, his disappointment plain. "You're probably right. He's hardly in the mood to agree to anything on Sundays." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	godisindetails 2008-07-22 03:29 pm UTC (link)
	"Don't look so miserable." Reuben said, almost unable to look at the boy's downturned lips and sorrowful gaze. "I'll ask first thing on Monday morning. When I bring you those books, so you'll have something to look forward to tomorrow." He said, patting the boy's leg again, smiling at him, trying to encourage the young man to cheer up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lonely_boy 2008-07-22 03:49 pm UTC (link)
	Fabian nodded. Monday would be good enough and by that time his Uncle might be in a better mood. "Yes, that would probably be best - and it will give me a reason to go to bed early tonight." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	godisindetails 2008-07-22 04:24 pm UTC (link)
	Reuben would also be going to bed early- although he meant early in the morning after several hours at the Bridge Theatre. Fabian would at least be rested before Monday's lessons. "You're right, and after being out and about so long today, your uncle will no doubt think you need a good night's rest." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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