The Grand Design : In-Character

((Written after Casper and Taj went human hunting at the college and his sphinx powers started to come back))

Once upon a time there a was little boy with powers he couldn't control. They made him feel sick when people lied. He saw lies everywhere he went. He saw them in the school when his teachers told him he could go to them for anything, or when people said they were friends, or called him ugly just to be mean, things that might have hurt the feelings of a regular kid. He saw them when people kept secrets or confidences away from him. Even at Christmas when people were trying hard to keep surprises for fun, it would make him feel nauseous and off balance. Christmas is supposed to be joy (a very high elation type emotion) but this made it a very hard time of year for him and everyone was trying to do good things, spread cheer, share love. For the little boy was not a fool, he could tell the difference between what good and bad intentions were, but still felt nothing but lies. He didn't really understand why. But, it hurt anyway.

There were only four other children in the whole world that were open and honest enough to make him not sick with lies. They became his family. They became all he cared for or ever trusted in because he didn't have a mother or father to care for. They never kept secrets from each other. But, then again, children never do. They hardly can keep their mouths shut in grocery store lanes when they need to point things out on the poor person with some deformity minding their own business in the front of the line, crashing their self-worth as they walk away with the mask of their heads held high, like an adult should. Maybe this is something grown ups learn, to keep their mouths shut so they don't hurt other people? I would say that this is true. I would say that his family of special children grew up and changed and learned this very lesson.

But, still..

The little boy was different, he grew up too and still felt nothing but lies, not because he doesn't see why they do the things they do, confidences, secrets -all lies- lies with good intentions. Now, that little boy has a problem with his powers and his family, one that will never change, not because he's childish, but because of his very nature which he can not help or change.

He thought back on his life one day and realized his nature could cause them nothing but pain asking them to be what his nature was as grown up people when it was not their own. It didn't matter that he'd put himself through anything and everything to help each and every one of them their entire childhoods and even kept his mouth closed on Christmases and holidays full of secret gifts so they could give the happiness they intended to give. He stood up to anyone no matter how big or how tough that put them down and always kept his ears open for when their minds needed a hug. There was one member of his family that always said, you never do anything for yourself. Please take care of yourself. But, he never listened. He cared more for them than anything. But, then the more his family grew into these adult people the more he couldn't bear the lies they didn't understand they were keeping anymore because their grown-up people minds were blocked from that space of innocent honesty that made them all his sanctuary. It hurt him far too greatly inside knowing he would hurt forever and never really fit in. He knows because he can't fit in anymore, he has to walk away, not just for himself, but for them too.

For he learned a new lesson from someone with the heart of a child, instinctual love that never analyzed, just feels, and knew where they belonged. For the first little boy was never a person, despite what human dictionary definitions read. He wasn't a human. He wasn't a person. He didn't belong with those grown-up people or their world. That little boy wasn't a person at all. He wasn't even just an animal. He was a magical creature hiding in a person body and needed to stay away from people. He just doesn't belong. He belonged with others that could think like him and so he walked away.

Maybe this is why I can only connect with Andy anymore? He never grew up, not in his mind. I fear the day he does. Then I'll have lost you all.

((ooc - if any bros go by Taj's home. They all have keys but the locks would be changed and a sale sign in his yard))

( Private to Andy )