InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "What's my tattoo say!?"

sam winchester (neversurrender) wrote in thedoorway,
@ 2013-09-08 22:23:00

Entry tags:

!network post, angel, ben reilly / spider-man (616), castiel, christine chapel, connor reilly, hestia jones, mara jade, paige matthews, sam winchester

First week of classes is over, and my schedule's all sorted out. I'm on track to take the LSAT in December, and finish my thesis and therefore my Classics degree by June. And that's not counting the classes I'm taking for fun or the competition I'll be entering next semester-- or, you know, work, or a social life.

In other words, I'm basically not going to sleep for like... a year. Or ever again. But if it works, it'll be worth it.

[VERONICA]

We'll have to figure out how to fit time for just us in between school and work and everything else. But I think we can manage that, don't you?

[FRIENDS*]

Also, if you haven't already heard from Dean, we're planning to get a place outside of the tower. Whenever that happens, I'll let you know.

*OOC: Off the top of my head, this includes everyone from his home world, Veronica Mars, Paige Matthews, Annie Sawyer, Mara Jade, Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Illyana Rasputina, Moya, Ben Stone, Molly Carpenter, Christine Chapel, and anyone else I'm forgetting who knows Sam well and/or has had ~deep-ish~ conversations with him at some point. If you're not sure, ask :)

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 01:45 am UTC (link)

I know what you mean, it's been crazy keeping up with it. Between work and classes, and now I'll need to get an on campus job for my work study in order to afford tuition. But it's all worth it. I love my classes so far, I think you'd find my Race and Criminal Justice class fascinating.

But I love you. And I'm proud of you.

I'm happy for you and Dean. Cas seemed surprised I wasn't moving in too, I had to explain that I didn't think that would be the best idea.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 01:53 am UTC (link)

It's only been a week. I mean, I had classes over the summer, but those were just to get the prerequisites out of the way-- and for fun. Now I've basically pared everything down to the essentials, or the fun science classes which would also help to round out my application, and it's going to be intense.

Hey, we should study together. And you can tell me all about Race and Criminal Justice and whatever else you're taking, and I'll talk to you about my classes, too. And my thesis, which I was working on at Stanford but I'll be basically writing it from scratch. Which means I have to do all the research all over again, but at least I know where to start.

Cas is still figuring out how relationships work. I think him and Meg are sort of already living together, actually. But you know, we could talk about that if you wanted.

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 02:02 am UTC (link)

I believe in you, Sam. You'll be getting into an amazing law school and kicking butt and taking names. You'll be finished with law school when I'm done with undergrad, which is kind of interesting.

That sounds great, actually. Well, not the starting the thesis from scratch, but I like research. And libraries. I'm going to see if I can work in the library for my work study, which is what I apparently did when I went to Hearst.

I didn't...I mean, I thought you probably would have mentioned it if you wanted to.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 02:13 am UTC (link)

Thanks, cricket. I just want to have a really solid application, you know? I mean, I have the whole refugee thing and criminal record to make up for. I'm going to have to write a hell of an essay to explain away that one. But you know, that timing works out kind of nicely.

I like libraries, too. I can come and study in your library... which sounded way naughtier than I intended. I won't get you into too much trouble with your boss, I promise.

No, it's not that I don't want to. I'm in this relationship for the long haul, you know that. For as long as we've got. And if we end up getting a lot of time in this universe, then living together at some point is definitely something I'm going to want. I don't have any real reasons not to want it right now, aside from-- I mean, you like living with your friend from your world, and I get that. And I like living with my brother. I don't really know how to make all of that work out. I don't really know how this living outside the tower thing is going to work out yet, in truth. It'll definitely make it harder to switch off between your place and mine.

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 02:21 am UTC (link)

It makes sense. You'll do awesome though, because not only are you bright in theory, you can figure these kinds of things out in real world scenarios. You'll be an asset to any school, I know it.

You can study me after we study in my library, tree. We'll keep the library for actual study, as I'm sure they will appreciate. I think it's probably expensive.

I mean, we don't have to see each other every day if you're too busy. I can't say I hadn't thought of it, but I don't...want to get in the way of you and Dean. And when it comes down to it, that's what I'll be. As much as I love you, I don't want to be a reason for there to be strain.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 02:28 am UTC (link)

Maybe you should write my recommendation letter, ha. When you say it like that, even I believe it.

I'll write that into the study schedule I've drawn up. Which is really only for the LSAT, but it accounts for classwork and thesis, so it might as well account for studying Mars, too. ....Man, I wish I had time to actually take astronomy.

That's not what I meant, at all. Is that really how you see it, that living with you-- or staying with you, rather than leaving the tower-- would get in the way of me and my brother? That's why you think it wouldn't work out?

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 02:33 am UTC (link)

Too bad my word will mean shit. But I believe in you, Sam. And I know other people do too.

I wish I had time to take Sam 201 (advanced Samology) but unfortunately it's not for credit and I have to stick to my plan. But we'll make time for each other. That's what people in love do.

I...I just worry my being there would just be a third wheel. And that's not what I want. I'd want you to want me there, yes, but also Dean.

It's fine, it'll be nice having a place outside the tower to go, even if it will be hard.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 02:43 am UTC (link)

I know. I believe in you, too. You're going to kick that Criminal Justice course's ass.

That does sound like an interesting class. Maybe you could audit it, just for fun. You'd get an A+ in my book.

I'm honestly not even sure that we're going to live there full-time, at this point. I don't really want to; it's more about not wanting to be dependent on the tower, especially when shit goes sideways.

If I was going to actually move out for good, I'd definitely want you with me. Or for it to be just as much our decision as mine and Dean's.

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	veronica \| sam not_betty 2013-09-09 02:46 am UTC (link)
	I appreciate the vote of confidence. I really like it, so doing the work is a breeze. Wish I could say the same for my statistics and comp classes, they are a bit less interesting, but hey, requirements are requirements. Oh. Okay. But I mean, you don't have to feel like you need to make me a big part of that decision. I know that I'm- Anyway, it's fine, Sam. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	veronica \| sam neversurrender 2013-09-09 02:50 am UTC (link)
	Hey, enjoy them while you can. College is the best time of your life. Or at least it was for me, before I got here. Mars. You're a big part of my decisions whether you like it or not, because I'm madly in love with you. So I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to figure out how to come to terms with that. Or in other words, suck it up, cricket. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	veronica \| sam not_betty 2013-09-09 02:55 am UTC (link)
	It's been a bit different than I expected college to be. I mean, so far no crazy frat parties or people streaking in classes. How am I to even know I'm in school at all? Winchester. I'm madly in love with you too. I just don't want you to feel obligated to fit me into your plans. That's all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 03:04 am UTC (link)

Are crazy frat parties and streaking in classes really the definition of the college experience? Because if so, I totally missed out. And I'm going to miss out yet again.

Hey, no obligation here. Just the crazy desire to keep my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend around as a part of my life. Completely insane of me, I know.

Seriously, though, you want to know what my perfect plan for the future in this universe is? It's me and you, together, and our families and friends (including the family that hasn't shown up here yet), and our careers, and our lives. Keyword being 'ours'. I know that might sound... intense, or too much, so don't freak out that I'm going to try to skip ahead or move too fast. I'm happy with things as they are, but I'm more than okay with making plans that include you. I don't want to make plans that don't include you. That's really what I'm trying to say.

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 03:15 am UTC (link)

I'm just going by the movies, Sam. Though I'm kidding. I'm not really the frat party type. Though apparently I rushed in my future. For a case.

It IS a bit crazy, honestly.

Oh. Sam. Sam.

I didn't mean you couldn't...I see you in my future too. I don't want any world that doesn't have you with me. But I know I'm young and we've only known each other 9 months, even though it seems so much longer. It seems from the first minute I knew you were my perfect other half. But I don't want you to feel like you have to settle.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 03:29 am UTC (link)

Are you sure you don't want to be a sorority girl? I think that totally sounds like your style.

I really did miss out on most of the movie-type college experiences, though. Apparently I was supposed to be going to parties and getting stoned while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. According to my brother, anyway.

You know, I'm entirely comfortable with being crazy. This kind of crazy is really nice.

...See, you start out saying you agree with me and you understand, and then you talk about me 'settling'. In case you haven't noticed from my current college insanity, I'm not really one to settle for anything when it comes to making life plans. (We're not counting hunting, because that's different. Although my plan there was always to finish the fight entirely, which considering what we were up against was a pretty damn impossibly high goal, too.) The only kind of settling I'm going to be doing is settling down, and that's not the same.

You are my plan, okay? I know we said we shouldn't, but I went and set my heart on you and hung my hopes on our future, even though I know full well that bubble could be burst at any time, and it would completely crush me. It will either crush me or be stolen from me, one of those is inevitable if I don't figure out how to keep us both here. But I don't care, I really don't. I'm making plans as if this universe is going to let me keep them, and that includes you. That is you, really. If I didn't have you here, then I almost might just as well be back at home.

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veronica | sam

not_betty
2013-09-09 03:40 am UTC (link)

Pretty sure. Though I did technically get accepted to one.

I guess I just...I love you Sam. So much I don't even know what to do with it all. It bursts out from every part of me. You've been the single most important person in my life for so long now, and I can't imagine facing any of this without you in my life.

Sam...I'm sorry. I don't mean to make it sound like I don't think you want me in your future. I know you do. And it means so much that you want me to be a part of yours. There is no future here that doesn't have you in it, I just know that sometimes I'm reminded that I'm young. Though not TOO young. I just am trying to reconcile you moving out of the tower with the fact that I don't-

That I dream about us. Like, forever us.

And I know that's dumb and girlish of me and forget I said that.

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veronica | sam

neversurrender
2013-09-09 03:52 am UTC (link)

You should start your own. Mars Cricket Awesome sorority.

Getting a place outside the tower doesn't mean I'm moving out. At least, that wasn't my plan. It just means having a place that belongs to us that we can use for whatever we want to use it for. I still have every intention of falling asleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning, or at least every night that I possibly can, unless one of us is busy or away or hospitalized or... you know what I mean. As you're in the tower, I'm going to be living there with you at least part of the time. And if we worked it out in a way that we could actually live together, not splitting time between your place and mine, I'd be really, really happy with that.

We're going to make it work, you know. The only thing that can mess it up is the tesseract, everything else-- we'll just figure that out as we go along. Forever, or for as long as we have. And I am so not going to forget that you said that.

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