InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "there is trouble in the forest"

napoleon solo has never seen a cow in his life (outlawthief) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-09-25 20:39:00

Entry tags:

gaby teller, napoleon solo, quentin coldwater

[ FILTERED TO GABY TELLER ]
I very much enjoyed our weekend together. I absolutely hate that we had to leave. But I owe Quentin a trip and I wanted to see how you felt about that?

[ EDIT: FILTERED TO QUENTIN COLDWATER VIABLE TO GABY TELLER ]
Just so you know, I'm still suffering from telling the truth. It's a terrible affliction, but I've made my peace with it because it's brought me to a new stage in my relationship with Gaby and because it's given me clarity on a few things going on in my head.

Like you.

This truth telling business was the reason why I couldn't talk to you before. Eliot's told me that he spoke to you about how whatever it was that I was afraid of ruining was probably a sex thing, and, at the least, not anything terrible. He was right, mostly. It's not terrible and it's more of a love thing and I think I'm ready to admit that I care for you more than a friend.

Gaby is aware of these things and as long as I'm honest with her about what goes on here, we'll play it by ear, but I'm no longer content to hide this truth from you or myself. Frankly, it was making me miserable and while it may still ruin things because I'm not sure how you feel or what you want, I need you to know this before I invited you out to Point Pleasant for the trip we were suppose to have taken last weekend.

So. There it is, cards on the table. And so there are no surprises, I've made this viewable to Gaby. If that's not alright with you, please let me know.

(Post a new comment)

	recruitable 2018-09-26 04:14 pm UTC (link)
	I could tell. You're no longer worried about having to be truthful around him? (Reply to this) (Thread)

outlawthief
2018-09-26 04:22 pm UTC (link)

Fine dining, fancy villa, and a beautiful woman in my bed? I wanted for nothing, of course I didn't want to leave.

After being so honest with you about us, about my feelings for him, there's been a weight lifted off my shoulders. So anything that I may say to him or reveal, I feel like it's better to be honest than not. Lay it all out there and see where the chips fall, so long as I'm honest with you as well about whatever happens.

What are your thoughts on that?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	recruitable 2018-09-26 04:34 pm UTC (link)
	I did enjoy the view. The scenery wasn't so bad either. Then I am glad for that, Napoleon, and I hope it goes well for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	outlawthief 2018-09-26 04:43 pm UTC (link)
	I would say stop it, I'm blushing, but I'm enjoying it very much. Please continue. I want to do a redo with you in New York after. You didn't get a proper chance to take it in and neither did I. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	recruitable 2018-09-26 04:59 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't mind returning there again sometime, if Tumbleweed ever experiences a winter. Split our time between our room and the beach, though maybe not equally. I would not say no to that either. ~~Though the place is kind of spoiled for~~ Where would your trip with Quentin take you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	outlawthief 2018-09-26 05:15 pm UTC (link)
	Mmh, you won't hear me complaining about that idea. Point Pleasant, New Jersey. He grew up there and wants to visit. Not too far from New York City either, less than two hours. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	recruitable 2018-09-26 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	I suspected not. Oh, yes. He and I talked about that after you and I returned from Germany. I can understand the impulse to go. You would leave for the weekend? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	outlawthief 2018-09-26 05:55 pm UTC (link)
	So no complaints about the weekend? For the weekend only. We still have our duties at school and I have portal guard duties when I'm not in school. Unfortunately, they need more of my time too because of those afflicted with curses and people being sent back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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outlawthief, 2018-09-27 05:51 pm UTC

second filter.

king_quentin
2018-09-26 05:44 pm UTC (link)

[...] ~~I [...] Give me a moment to adjust to this new information~~

Funny how I was just trying to figure out getting over someone. Well [...] I mean, I suppose I am, but more than one someone.

No. It's perfectly fine for her to see it.

[...] And now I've realized I haven't really [...] I was happy to settle for whatever you would give me because I figured that's what I had to do and you'd said previously that you didn't need me quite the way you needed Illya and Gaby and that was okay. I told myself it was okay because there wasn't another way for it to be. I just wanted you to be happy. But I didn't think it was anything different because well I guess sometimes I'm not entirely aware of myself or other parts of myself are more evident. [...] Which is a very long-winded way of saying that I feel the same.

But I'm not sure what this means. Bigger picture.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: second filter.

outlawthief
2018-09-26 05:53 pm UTC (link)

Eliot?

Honestly, I think I said that because I didn't want to complicate things further between us, for either of us. You had a lot going on and so did I, with Illya and Gaby. I didn't think it would end well for anyone if I confessed that I cared more deeply for you then I first realized, if I let myself know that.

But keeping these things to myself, being secretive about my thoughts and feelings? It hasn't done me any favors, so I'm trying something new, trying to go with being honest, and letting you know where I am when it comes to you.

I don't know what it means for the bigger picture, but I don't want to go on pretending you're just a friend either. I'm sorry that it complicates things further for you or if this is something you don't want to do deal with. But this particular omission of truth? It felt like a lie. I didn't plan to fall for you or Gaby or anyone, honestly, but I did and this is what's going on with me now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

second filter.

king_quentin
2018-09-26 06:39 pm UTC (link)

Yes, Eliot. But you, too. Figured I had to get myself to a place where I wasn’t stuck in a holding pattern.

It might not have, but I’d rather know than not. But I guess if we were both lying to ourselves, it would have made it complicated for knowing to happen. I tried to be careful with myself because I’m not usually and then I get in trouble. I thought I’d managed it.

It complicates things, I guess, but not in a way I mind. I just don’t know what to do with the information. I don’t know if it’s just information to process and eventually work through or something else and I don’t know Gaby’s feelings on the matter or what this means for her. I can sit and process and let it be locked away with other things, but if I’m doing that, I might need a bit for New Jersey. I don’t want to cause any problems.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: second filter.

outlawthief
2018-09-26 07:04 pm UTC (link)

I'm sorry I stopped you from dealing with your feelings for me by complicating it with this. I know you say you don't mind, but I know it's confusing.

I can understand if we need to put a hold on New Jersey until we figure out what's going on here. I can't speak for Gaby, so I'll let her speak for herself. And you're not going to be causing problems. I'm the one causing problems, but I'm not that terribly sorry. I do want to figure it all out between us - to see if we're just acknowledging this and moving on or if we're going to figure out something else.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

second filter.

king_quentin
2018-09-27 12:19 am UTC (link)

I did it to myself. I could have just cut everything off, but I didn’t want to.

She said we should go. I just [...] I was not expecting this. I might just be processing a bit still. We know where I fall when it comes to polyamorous things, though last time I was you, so this side of things is different. Not bad different, just different. If that’s what we’re talking about.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: second filter.

outlawthief
2018-09-27 04:49 pm UTC (link)

Well, is it terrible for me to say that I'm glad you haven't? Because I do want to explore this with you.

I know, I'm pretty good at keeping my cards close at hand. I'm sorry it's all unexpected, Quentin. I truly did not mean to burden you, but I'm not sorry about being honest about this. I suppose at this point, my question is how you and Gaby feel about one another? Will this be possible, sharing me?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

second filter.

king_quentin
2018-09-27 05:01 pm UTC (link)

Would have made that more difficult, yes.

It's okay. I'm not upset. Just surprised. Maybe not as surprised as I could be, though. You truly are a ridiculous man. I've been you, Napoleon. The man in love with two different people. It's just I've never been the Eliot in the situation. As for Gaby and I, I think maybe getting to know one another a little better is in order. We can go from there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: second filter. outlawthief 2018-09-27 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	Yet you still enjoy spending time with this ridiculous man, so what does that say about you? Perhaps she could join us in New Jersey for a bit? You can show us both around this version of your home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

second filter. -

king_quentin, 2018-09-27 05:09 pm UTC